We’ve all met ‘that’ person, haven’t we?
The person that, no matter what activity or discipline they engage in, seems to always rank at the top of the class. With what appears to be minimal effort, they perform better than you on a regular basis. Most of your peers admire this person, including you- and if we’re being honest, you’re a little jealous of how effortless success appears to come to them.
Maybe it’s a co-worker, a mentor, an iconic figure, a romantic interest, or even your best friend.
Somehow, success seems to find them, while you feel like you’re doing everything to just keep your head above water.
Have you ever wondered how this type of person pulls this off? How do they make their stage performance seem so effortless and authentic? What is it about them that draws others to them?
How To Become ‘That’ Person Who Always Finds Success
The truth is, some people are innately proficient at walking into a room like they own it. Their presence is felt by many simply because of the way they carry themselves. But as you start to deconstruct this type of person, patterns begin to emerge. Like anything, their performance is a collection of skills, and anyone can learn any skill at any time.
With a slight tweak in how you normally do things, and a willingness to be vulnerable as you experiment, you can become just like ‘that’ person. Don’t discount these two things, because your motivation will drop if (when) you face adversity. This is the territory you’re subjected to when developing new skills, so do all that you can to separate the results of your experiments from your self-worth.
Here are 3 ways you can start becoming ‘that’ person:
1. Authentically be yourself, and stop apologizing for it.
Think about ‘that’ person for a second. As much as you admire that person, there are probably certain things that they have clearly established as their values or positions that you flat out disagree with. But for some reason, this doesn’t bother you. It’s entirely possible to be envious of someone, even if you don’t agree with everything they say. 95% of people in this world are too afraid to break out of their shell and show the world who they really are for fear of judgment or criticism. For this reason, it’s compelling and attractive when someone comes along that isn’t afraid to be themselves. Whether you’re extroverted or not, commit to letting your ‘true’ self shine through, and people will admire you for it. As long as you remain respectful of others and don’t go overboard, this alone should catapult you to the next level.
2. Regularly set up canvases for others to paint on.
At the end of the day, you feel the way you do about ‘that’ person because they leave a resonating feeling of joy or pleasure in your gut. They are doing something that makes you feel good inside, even if that thing is just forcing you to question how you might further yourself or grow. ‘That’ person has mastered the art of freeing up other people’s inhibitions so that they can reach their goals and live better lives. We attach positive feelings to this person because they either make us feel stronger, smarter, more attractive, etc. OR they have offered us a strategy (knowingly or not) that we’ve applied with success in a way that upgraded a particular area of our lives. Ask yourself this question: “What, unique to my particular set of skills- in this very moment- do I have that can be used to help other people solve their problems or reach their goals?” Do that every day for the next month, and see if people aren’t acting a little differently towards you.
3. Relentlessly seek mastery in other disciplines and areas of knowledge.
The people in this world who are fortunate enough to dictate to others how much they are worth- as opposed to being told by someone else- are versed in many different disciplines. If you want to become indispensable at your job or in another setting, and a walking example of what’s possible to others, become a student. This modern day ‘Renaissance’ archetype that we’re talking about is a great example of someone that has taken this understanding to heart. As you master fields outside of the skill-set required for your job or chosen activity, you will begin to notice that the patterns of being successful or well versed in either share many similarities. Your perspectives in both areas will strengthen simultaneously as you acquire knowledge. Because of this, you will be better equipped to speak in your area(s) of expertise with innovative logic and unique analogies that will impress as much as they will educate. People love unique perspectives because no one can truly replicate one person’s take on something when articulated well, as elementary of a topic as it might be.
There are many more traits, of course. The further down the wormhole you go in studying the ‘that’ person archetype, the more you realize that these things are not happening by accident. In fact, they are conditioned habits that often happen without the person being conscious of what they are doing.
As you practice, these things will feel better and better. Everyone has to start from somewhere, but soon, people will be asking you how you did it, too. Like anything, skills are developed through repetition, practice, and a willingness to be vulnerable.
Always stay who you are, but go out and be ‘that’ person for a while. See what happens.