Every now and again, we feel jealous of others. It’s a natural emotion that no one wants to admit. The green monster rises. Is jealousy inevitable? Do you feel it and let it pass, or does it consume you? Do you dwell on why that person got a promotion instead of you? Or why a rival was chosen for an exciting travel opportunity at work? Or how come your bestie made the sports team but you didn’t? Or why your secret crush chose someone else?
How to Banish Jealousy and Become a Beacon of Positivity
It is never wise to seek or wish for another’s misfortune. If malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be the shape of a boomerang.
– Charley Reese
What causes jealousy?
Inequity. We all know that life isn’t fair, but it’s often hard to accept. It’s tough when we feel that someone else has more than us and they don’t deserve it. The more can be anything – more money, looks, talent, dates, career opportunities, vacations or praise from others. Somehow the universe has given more to someone else, while you’re equally deserving but aren’t rewarded. It sucks!
Jealousy is also created when we can’t figure out how someone else stole our thunder. I thought of it, and worked my butt off to make it happen, but she got the credit! Why can’t I get my 15 minutes of fame? How does he always get free stuff and incredible perks? It’s not fair!
Sometimes, you can argue with friends or co-workers about your situation, but most of the time, you know it’s wiser to let things go. Don’t let jealousy simmer. It’s better for your health to keep a positive attitude, and release all of the negativity. Jealousy can cause anger, anxiety and panic attacks.
The truth behind the facade
We all have different problems, at different times in our lives. The mirage of perfection that you see is just that. No one has a perfect life. We each have unique blessings and opportunities, as well as different family issues and personal crises. You don’t know what struggles others are facing. To quote Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird: “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”
That person you’re jealous of may have had a traumatic childhood. They may be dealing with a chronic health issue you don’t know about. They may be trying hard to hold it together while going through a breakup. You simply don’t know. Why waste your energy on jealousy? They really may be more deserving of that promotion than you are. And that cute guy may not be right for you anyway.
What can you do when jealousy strikes?
Breathe. Move on. Know that it wasn’t meant to be. The universe has other things in store for you. Try to be happy for that person, or at least neutral. Instead of feeling jealous, think of how far you’ve come, and that good things are soon coming your way. Change your mood by listening to music, going for a walk, doing yoga or chatting with friends. Don’t sit in one spot and let jealousy fester. The quicker you move on, the happier you’ll be. Just remove yourself from the situation until you feel better. How about a latte, jog, hike, massage, manicure or new hairdo? A little TLC will work wonders to uplift your spirits. Treat yourself to day at the park, beach, gym or spa. You’ll be smiling in no time.
Cultivate good karma
What goes around comes around. If you focus on being jealous and stress about all the details of how you were wronged, you’re unable to draw positive energy into your life. Think good thoughts, and good things will happen to you. Surround yourself with friends who are positive. When the topic comes up, chat briefly about it, but don’t let it turn into a prolonged pity party.
What do you say to nosy co-workers, team-mates or friends?
- I would have loved to have had that opportunity, but maybe next time.
- I wish them well, and my turn will come.
- I’m looking forward to new adventures.
- I’m excited for the right person to come into my life one day soon.
- I’m going to focus on what I can do to get a future promotion/make the team.
- If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Smile and change the topic.
Give jealousy the boot!
Now that you have the tools to banish jealousy, use them. When you start to feel jealous of someone else’s good fortune, know that you’ll soon be rewarded for a great attitude and successful performance. Your dream partner will also show up when you’re confident, happy and positive. Jealous? Nah! Not you!