You may not know Simon Sinek for dishing love advice, but the motivational speaker dropped serious relationship wisdom on Tom Bilyeu in a 2017 interview:
“She didn’t fall in love with you because you remembered her birthday and brought her flowers on Valentine’s Day. She fell in love with you because when you woke up in the morning, you said good morning to her before you checked your phone”
According to Sinek, falling in love doesn’t come from grand, romantic gestures. Love is developed through consistent, little actions that show your partner how much you value and support them.
This is such an important reminder, especially on Valentine’s Day, when we are so focused on finding the perfect gift and planning a memorable date. Plus, the advice still applies once you’re already in love and in a long-term relationship -- that same consistency and those same small gestures of appreciation will help you stay in love and nurture your relationship.
We shared snippets of Sinek’s interview on Goalcast, and it triggered some insightful and heartwarming comments on the topic of love.
If you’re single or getting over a heartbreak, the comments below will give you faith in finding a special someone to share your life with. And if you’re already coupled up, they’ll make you want to go hug your partner.
On unconditional love
Full comment: “Uh no - I fell in love with him because he saw into the deepest (most messed up) recesses of my soul, loved me unconditionally for it and offered me his in return. We've stayed in love because we learned to put each other first…”
On self-love
Full comment: "A hard fact of life that I learned over the past few years is that people can only love and accept you to the extent that they have learned to love and accept themselves. Real love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.
Real love isn’t just a euphoric, spontaneous feeling—it’s a deliberate choice—a plan to love each other for better and worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health. Of course, you don’t choose who you’re attracted to, but you definitely choose who you fall in love with and (more importantly) who you stay in love with.
Society places a lot of emphasis on feelings. We are taught that we should always follow our feelings and do whatever makes us happy. But feelings are very fickle and fleeting. Real love, on the other hand, is like the north star in the storms of life; it is constant, sure, and true. Whenever we’re lost and confused we can find strength in the love that we have chosen.
Don’t ever try to change aspects of whom you are just to fit in to a group. Instead, let your true colors show. The people who will love the real you are the people with whom you should be friends with. Life’s too short to try to make everyone like you.
Once an individual stops seeking validation from others, true growth begins to shine through. We are all different people who have different tastes, different ideals, different perspectives and different opinions. Just accept that some people are bound to dislike you, and it’s nobody’s fault.
A true relationship (friendship or romantic interest) will keep it real and won't lie, now that's real talk!! I truly believe talking and sharing all important decisions together can keep a healthy relationship. Don't start in the habit of lying for your friends or romantic interest because it can and will make it so easy to start lying to them.
Speak what's on your mind and what's in your heart in the beginning of your relationship and continue this habit in the future. Never ever bring someone else's problem into your life and household. Sometimes it's okay to say nothing when the other partner is wrong especially when they are upset. Not everything has to be said all the time.
Sometimes we must realize that some things happen out of our control. Remember, misery loves company so keep some things to yourself. We all will have trials and tribulations, so keep an open mind and make good judgement calls and your relationship with your friend or romantic interest will have less bumps.
At the end of the day, what matters is that we VALUE and LOVE the people that are in our lives. We need to learn that happiness is more than just a feeling. It is also a choice and the result of a series of choices. We have to choose to appreciate and love those around us.”
On the little things
Full comment: “She fell in love with you because you always say thank you when she do the laundry and the dishes. She fell in love with you because you tell her how beautiful she is. She fell in love with you because you prepare a tea for her when she says she has stomachache due to period. It's really all the small things that sum up together.”
On being best friends
Full comment: “My love of nearly six years & I fell for one another because we saw each other's brokenness and wanted to help each other heal. I also fell in love with him because he grew up with a lot of bad influence around him and instead of repeating the mistakes of others he said "I can and will be more than that."
Furthermore, he didn't disown his family for their bad decisions. He's always there when they decide to try doing better even if he knows it may not last. We've both stayed in love because we make time for each other, help each other grow, and choose to see the best in each other. We've stayed in love because we are the best of friends.”
On love & parenthood
Full comment: “I love my husband because he makes me laugh. A lot lol. Because he plays stuffed animal tea parties with our toddler. Because he tries to put her hair in a pony tail.
He bought a hand mirror he saw on sale because he knows I do my makeup in front of the TV. So I can multitask in the short me moment I have while my toddler naps.”
On love trumping money
Full comment: “My favorite Valentine’s gift was from a boyfriend in college that had very little extra money. He brought me flowers picked from a yard up the street from me, and a snack bag of candy. I was so touched by the gesture since I knew he was broke.
I agree...It's little things that make a huge difference. I always try to anticipate things that my husband might like...for no reason other than I love him, I pay attention to his preferences and know that he appreciates the gestures.”
