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man holding a red gift box and a woman watching a man open a gift
Sitting on the floor beside her is a man looking deadpan at the camera. He looks quizzical, even suspicious at the person behind the camera.
As you'll see, he has good reason to be.
right human eye
Photo by Liam Welch on Unsplash
The man is holding an object in his hand and barely breaks eye contact with the camera. Drowned out by the music is the faint voice of a woman, her voice barely audible.
He continues to stare back, looking down at the object and then back at the camera.
However, the words appearing across the screen slowly piece this puzzle together. By the time this short video is done, we can hear the voice.
"Are you okay?" she asks.
The man nods slowly, wiping the tears from his eyes and looking down at his hand.
"l'll never trade this moment for anything," reads the text across the screen.
person holding box
Photo by Kira auf der Heide on Unsplash
You see, the man in the video knows that it wasn't too long ago that things weren't so happy. The person he's looking back at -- his wife -- knows this too.
Through the captions across the screen, she shares that their family put off holiday cheer due to ‘some devastating financial news.' They even put candy in stocking stuffers and wrapped items they already owned 'so our 3-year-old wouldn’t question why WE didn’t have any gifts.'
We also find out that a couple of years prior, her husband lost their wedding band and 'he was devastated.' "It was a crappy little fake gold band we got. All the gold had rubbed off and it was silver," she writes, "but he loved it."
You can almost tell that they are both thinking the same as her husband looks down at the object. It's at that moment that his wife shares the motivation behind this magic video.
'Then I saw this ring while getting groceries last night. It’s not frilly. It’s not super expensive. But it is real gold and was the only one left in Ben’s size," writes Ben's wife.
During financial struggles, husband receives emotional surprise from wife for Christmas 😭❤️❤️www.youtube.com
There's a saying that money is the root of all evil. Whether or not that's true, we know that it has doomed many marriages.
Per Spectrum Family Law, “Arguments about money (are) by far the top predictor of divorce.” It continues to say, "Money was the second most common subject that couples fight about -- after infidelity. Finances can be more damaging to a marriage than arguments about children, sex, the in-laws or anything else."
Words can't express how tragic I find that fact. Call me an idealist, but the notion that money can drive a wedge between two humans who otherwise love and cherish each other is one of the saddest stories ever told.
It's what makes this story so touching to me and over 13 million others.
"Oh my heart. U can actually feel what this means to him just watching this. That's real love. U can see what his wife means to him," writes one.
Another commenter put it perfectly, "As a man, it doesn't matter the cost. HE appreciates the thought. That to him means everything. He appreciates it. No matter what he says.😊"
Among quotes about love, one by Seth Adam Smith reads, "We simply can’t abandon ship every time we encounter a storm. Real love is about weathering the terms of life together."
I'm blessed to have had front-row seats to my parents enduring through the storms of life, together. Just like them, this video shows us that in life, the true beauty of love lies in the struggle.
*Featured image contains photos by SHVETS production
Copyright © 2024 Goalcast
No, Depression Doesn't Make You Unlovable - Here's Why
Depression is like a dark cloud that can strike suddenly and without warning.
It's more than a feeling of gloom. Past accomplishments no longer have meaning, we lose interest in things we once loved, we feel that those who love us are better off without us.
If you suffer from depression, you’ve likely already sought out help. If you haven’t, it’s the most important thing of all and you should seek to see a therapist as soon as possible. Getting the right treatment for you can quite literally save your life.
However, the fight isn’t over after the depressive episode ends.
Why depression makes you feel unlovable
The problem is...even after an episode is over, you know (or, at least, strongly believe) that it’s only a matter of time before another one will arrive.
And, when that happens, you know there’s a chance you’ll do something you’re not proud of, like snapping at a loved one who did nothing wrong. You know what you’ve put them through and feel ashamed because of it.
When you suffer from depression, a sense of shame that is difficult to shake extends into your life, and it can make you feel unlovable.
Why depression doesn’t make you unlovable
The truth is, millions of people all around the world experience depression just like you. And it happened to them the same way it did with you.
Depression isn’t something you choose, it simply happens. There is nothing connecting a depression diagnosis with a lack of intelligence, strength, or biological capability. Your depression doesn’t make you less than another, it just makes you different, just the same way as anything else does.
Of course, you suffer because of it, but that doesn’t mean that you’re less of a person or can’t be loved by another. We all know we have flaws and, we didn’t choose them. They are there and we have to learn how to deal with them.
Everyone goes through the process of learning to deal with personal flaws, so while your loved ones may have a hard time understanding what you go through during episodes of depression, they can understand some of the feelings you experience – shame, guilt, and feelings of unworthiness.
3 things you can do if you feel unlovable due to depression
If you experience depression, there are coping tools to help you work through these feelings of being unlovable. However, as stated above, getting professional help before anything is crucial.
1. Develop self-awareness with mindfulness meditation
Mindfulness can help those who suffer from depression for several reasons, the most notable one being the ability to develop the self-awareness needed to see an episode coming.
And, if you can see it coming, you can shift modes and prepare for when the storm hits. This one thing can make a huge difference.
In addition to this, mindfulness has been reported to lessen depressive symptoms as a whole, making it even valuable to those who experience clinical depression of any intensity.
However, most relevant to the topic at hand, mindfulness also allows you to develop the clarity neeeded to view your inner dialogue, which can help you work through feelings of being unlovable and the toxic thoughts they bring.
2. Reflect on past accomplishments...and avoid comparisons
Whether you have a mild to medium depression or a more severe case, there are therapy techniques like CBT, ECT, as well as medication, and a slew of other treatment options that can help you get better.
However, if you continue to create comparisons in your mind with others, especially those who don’t suffer from depression, you’ll just end up discouraging yourself. But, on the flip side, by dedicating yourself to learning to manage your depression, you can get far.
Take some time to reflect on your past accomplishments, and see that you’ve done quite a bit even now with your depression. Sure, maybe not as much as you’d like. However, by reflecting on the progress you have made so far and focusing on making consistent progress, you’ll be further encouraged to continue with treatment. Slowly, you will get to a stage where you have your depression under control and your mind is in a better place where you can connect with others and not only give, but receive, love.
3. Communicate with those you love openly and honestly
Opening up to loved ones about what you’re going through can be one of the most difficult things to do, however, it may be the single most important one of all.
Perhaps the most damaging behavior of depression sufferers, closing yourself off to loved ones can cause you to feel alone not just during a depressive episode, but at all times.
We don’t feel the same way outside of a depressive episode as during one, but shame and guilt often can make us unwilling to open up when it counts the most. If you can muster the courage to start communicating with loved ones about how you feel and what you’re going through, you can create a bridge that gives you strength when you need it the most.
Depression still requires real, clinical help. However, the feeling that you’re unlovable that persists outside of depressive episodes can improve considerably if you focus on those three things.