Let me ask you a question: How well do you know your partner?

I mean, really know them– their likes, dislikes, trauma, regrets, passions, dreams and greatest desires?

happy-couple-having-fun-conversation
Photo Credit: Savs on Unsplash

I don’t say that to undermine your relationship, simply to point out an area for improvement, something that needs to be strengthened if you hope to get through not just the good times, but also the bad ones.

Fortunately, there’s a pretty easy way to strengthen your bond. And, I have to say, it’s a lot of fun (even if it can get heavy sometimes).

Communication will bring understanding and understanding will cause harmonious mutual relationships which can establish peace and stability.

– Lobsang Tenzin

The power of questions

Asking the right question at the right time can help us realize breakthroughs in many important areas of life, from finding out what we want to do with our life to improving personal relationships.

Understanding is the gateway to compassion and love, and questions allow us to obtain that necessary level of understanding, helping us learn why our partner behaves or thinks a certain way.

Here are 50 deep questions to ask your partner to connect with them on a more intimate level. May they help you realize a deeper understanding, boundless compassion, and open love.

On life:

  1. What’s something you’re glad you’ll never have to do again?
  2. What’s one thing you always procrastinate on?
  3. What would you do with your life if you were suddenly awarded a billion dollars?
  4. What should a healthy relationship provide for the people in it?
  5. Do you believe everything happens for a reason, or do we just find reasons after things happen?
  6. Is there anything you consider absolutely unforgivable?
  7. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first?
  8. In your life, what has been the biggest blessing in disguise?
  9. If you could pick one year of your life to do-over, which would it be and why?
  10. What is one behavior that you never tolerate?
  11. If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in only three words?
  12. What is the one thing that makes you feel alive?
  13. What would your perfect day look like?
  14. Do you usually follow your head or your heart when making decisions?
  15. What is something that never ends well?
  16. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

On your relationship:

  1. What did you think when you first met me?
  2. What about our relationship makes you really happy?
  3. If you had one word to describe our relationship what would it be?
  4. What’s your biggest fear for this relationship?
  5. What’s one difference between us that you absolutely love?
  6. What’s one similarity between us that you absolutely love?
  7. What about me made you fall in love?
  8. What’s your favorite memory of us?
  9. What’s one thing you want to do together that we’ve never done before?
  10. Where is your favorite place to be with me?
  11. What’s one thing you’re scared to ask me, but really want to know the answer to?
  12. What’s one thing you feel our relationship is lacking?
  13. What’s your favorite non-physical quality about me?
  14. If our relationship ended, what’s the one thing about it you’d miss the most?
  15. What do you think was your most vulnerable moment in our relationship?
  16. What’s one secret you’ve wanted to tell me, but haven’t?
  17. What’s your favorite way to receive affection?
  18. What’s one thing you think makes our relationship unique from everyone else’s?
  19. If you could change one thing about our relationship what would it be?
  20. What do you think is your biggest strength in this relationship?
  21. What’s one thing about your life you would never change for someone else, including me?
  22. What about us do you think works well together? How do we balance each other out?
  23. What does love mean to you?
  24. What do I mean to you?

Just plain fun ones:

  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
  4. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  5. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
  6. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
  7. Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  8. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
  9. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
  10. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

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