I’m lucky enough to have found someone I’m excited to spend the rest of my life with.
But it wasn’t always that way. Years ago, I was looking for those “universal signs” myself and could have used a bit of relationship guidance to know what I should be looking for.
If you’re reading this, you probably haven’t found that right person yet either. Or, maybe, you think you might have and want to know how on earth you’re supposed to know for sure.
While there are only signs and no surefire signal that guarantees they’re the perfect person for you, there are some really significant indicators that show you’ve found someone really special, someone you can enjoy the rest of your days with.
Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others.
– Wayne Dyer
There are a ton of different signals to watch out for– some to heed– when trying to judge whether someone is lifelong partner material. However, there are a few that stand out above the rest and are, I believe, of make-or-break importance.
1. They encourage your success, not inhibit it
One of the most significant signs of having found someone you can spend your life with is that they want you to become successful and are clearly happy when you realize said accomplishment (or any other).
Most of the people you meet in your life will be far more concerned about themselves than you. They’ll be focused on what is in it for them and will only ever help you or be happy for you if it coincides with their own goals and desires.
Others, still, will actually be jealous of you and will want to hold you back so that you don’t become more successful than them. This is much more commonly seen in men who become jealous of their female partner’s success.
However, if you’ve found someone who offers to help, encourages you to take risks and realize your potential, and is genuinely happy when you succeed, you’ve uncovered a true gem of a person that really cares about you.
2. They love you for who you are and don’t want to change you
Similarly, if you find someone who accepts you for who you are and– this is the important part– doesn’t seek to change you or make you something or someone you’re not, you’ve found something really special.
Tracy Malone, founder of Narcissist Abuse Support says:
When you feel good, feel that your partner is patient and true, treats you the same in public as he/she does at home, then you’re on the right path. Keep in mind that your intuition may send out warnings as well. It may come as a gut reaction.
For example, if your partner wants to change you in any way. He/she is not accepting you for who you are. If that happens, run. That is a sign of a controlling person and he/she will never treat you properly.
Someone that treats you differently around their friends or family or whom consistently expresses displeasure with aspects of your physical body, opinions, interests, or personality doesn’t really care about you. They’re chasing an image in their mind of what the perfect partner is.
You need to find someone who respects, appreciates, and loves who you are. They can encourage you to make progress, in an effort to support and encourage you, but only if it’s something you’ve already expressed interest in changing (or have your best interest in mind). Therefore, they’re supporting you because it’s what you truly want or need and aren’t attempting to further some unconscious agenda.
3. They express sincere care for your well-being without wanting anything in return
The final universal sign you should be looking for is a sincere interest in your well-being.
You should be looking for someone who, over time, comes to truly care about you without asking for something in return. The relationship shouldn’t feel like a give-and-take situation but them simply expressing the desire to care for you whether you return the affection, favor, or give them something in return or not.
True love requires that the other person cares for you no matter what happens. No matter where you live, how much money make, what you do for a living, who else is in your life, what you believe, and what you can give in return.
Of course, you have work to do on your end. You need to consider each and every one of these three important qualities as well and seek to express them. It takes real work and, I promise you, isn’t an automatic thing just because you’re a good person.