We’ve all been there — one day you feel like you’re on top of the world and the next, it feels as though your entire life is falling apart and there isn’t anything you can do to stop it.
Whether you’re facing a scary medical diagnosis, financial woes, a bad breakup or all of the above, it’s easy to feel stuck, anxious and disappointed.
Even when things are okay, life can feel overwhelming.
But when they’re not, when things feel like they’re falling apart, it can appear as if there’s no hope at all.
The truth is, sometimes we get into situations where there is no easy way out. But a new day brings unexpected possibilities, and if you do what you can now you can work towards a better future no matter where you are in your life.
I know the last thing you want right now is someone to tell you, “it’s going to be okay, brighten up!”
I’ve been in that situation and it’s annoying to hear someone, who clearly isn’t going through what you’re going through (and probably never has), try to pitch you something that sounds like it’s straight from one of those cheesy motivational posters.
But the thing is, it’s true. Life never stops hitting you but if you work on making progress you can learn to dance with it. And, if you do, it gets a hell of a lot better. Sometimes, it can even be amazing.
Things To Keep In Mind
- Don’t blame yourself: Criticizing yourself for thinking you should’ve known better and for your choices will only amplify your suffering. This kind of behavior is super toxic and will only keep you feeling stuck.
- Give yourself permission to take your time: Wait until things settle down before you make any major decisions. Take all the time you need to figure out what you can control and learn to manage your expectations.
- Remember that when you’ve hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up: All you have to do is keep moving.
- Nothing lasts forever: Your pain is temporary.
- It’s all part of the process: Life is a journey and there will always be ups and downs.
Remind yourself of your worth
When life comes crashing down, we often beat ourselves up for it and are left feeling inadequate The truth is, we all make mistakes and chances are a lot, if not most, of what you’re experiencing is beyond your control. When times get tough, you have to actively remind yourself that you are not a failure, that you are worthy and that you have what it takes to push through the chaos and build yourself back up. You will come out of it stronger and more resilient.
Feel your Feelings
Avoiding uncomfortable emotions only perpetuates suffering, that’s why it’s important to find healthy ways to release them when they come up. By allowing yourself to be present with your feelings, to process and release them, you create space for restoration. Instead of suppressing negative emotions, become aware of how you’re feeling and don’t judge yourself for it. Properly setting our negative emotions free, whether through journaling, fitness, or just talking them out with a trusted friend, can ease the process of getting back up on your feet.
So, if things feel like they’re falling apart for you, here are a few things you can do to make things better now while also investing in a brighter future.
What do you do when your world is falling apart? How do you hold onto the real and the rational?
– Erica Durance
Ultimately, if you feel like you’re in control, then you have control. It’s all about the inner world and that’s why it’s the first thing you need to take care of when the everything appears to be crumbling down around you.
How exactly do you do that? When I say “inner world” I’m mostly talking about working on your inner response to outside stimuli, including your emotions and conditioned behaviors.
Take some time to learn to meditate, which will help you with this masterfully. In addition to this, try out things like keeping a journal and having regular, deep conversation with a close friend or family member as a sort of natural therapy to uncover and work through what’s going on inside you during this time.
The more you work on your inner world, the stronger and more resilient your mind will become and the more control you begin to gain over your surroundings.
Focus on your sphere of influence
In addition to “reigning in” your inner world, another useful step you can take when life feels like it’s falling apart is to identify and focus on your “sphere of influence.”
Get out a piece of paper and a pen and draw a dot on the center of the page– that’s you. Now, draw a large circle around you that takes up roughly half of that page.
Write all the things you’re currently worrying about which you believe you have the ability to influence — to better, get rid of, or change — within the circle. Next, write down all the things you’re worrying about that are outside of your control outside the circle.
Now, take a step back and look outside the circle. Notice how many things you’re frequently worried about — and spending mental energy on — that you have no control whatsoever to change or influence.
And all the things inside the circle? These are the things you should be spending your time and energy on — your sphere of influence. These are the things which you can influence and change on your path to a better, more stable, and happier life.
See that when things are falling apart, room is made for something new
Life is change. Transience is the single most fundamental lesson you need to learn if you hope to live a happier and more peaceful life. But this isn’t a wholly depressing point that you just have to deal with, it can also be a very good thing depending on what side of the fence you’re currently on.
When things are bad, know that in time they’ll change. No matter what you do, things will get better. That’s just a fact. It might get worse before then and they probably won’t stay good once you get there but that’s where you come in.
When things are falling apart, other new things can fall into place and if you put your best foot forward you can amplify this effect to bring it about faster and make it more potent.
Life isn’t entirely in our control. Anyone who thinks that is delusional. However, it’s also wrong to think that you’re at the mercy of the winds of change and can’t make a difference when things feel like they’re crashing down around you.
When the dust settles, it might not appear how you imagined it, but the outcome can still be positive. You can make a huge difference in the outcome of your own life if you take action now. And that starts with investing in yourself.
It can be difficult to see the goodness in life when it feels like everything is falling apart, but practicing gratitude can actually help tremendously when getting through the hard times. When life feels hopeless, you must actively seek out the goodness. Instead of only dwelling on the things that are going wrong, take a moment to notice all the things that are going well.