It’s a part of the human condition to believe that, deep down, you’re not good enough.
This can manifest itself as the feeling that you’re missing something, like some great puzzle piece went adrift and you need to set out to find it again.
Sometimes, life overwhelms you so heavily for so long that you begin to believe you’re powerless to stop the flood, like there must be something wrong with me.
Other times, childhood abuse makes you think that you’re not worthy.
Whatever the reason, if you’re feeling like you’re not good enough, I want you to know that it’s just not true.
You’ve always been good enough and no one — and no thing — can take that away from you. Sometimes, all you need is a little reminder of your worth to stand tall and keep moving forward.
Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.
– Brene Brown
1. Sometimes it’s just stress (find a way to let it out)
Self-doubt arises for many reasons, most of which are connected to how we feel about ourselves or what we believe.
However, sometimes, it’s really just that you’re overwhelmed and can’t think straight.
Find an avenue you can use to let out that stress and anxiety, whether through turning inward and working on your mind, stepping away and taking some time to relax, or removing some things from your plate to reduce that overwhelm on a more permanent basis.
2. You’re just as good as them
Sometimes, it’s the comparisons that make you feel inadequate.
Whether on social media, between siblings, or at work, comparisons often do nothing but cause damage to your self-esteem.
The problem is, we often only see the positive, empowering qualities of the people we’re comparing ourselves to. But those people also have challenges, challenges you’re often not aware of so your view of them is highly distorted.
While they appear perfect or better than you, underneath it all, they’re no different from you. You’re just as good as them and it’s important to know that.
3. You’ve overcome great challenges in the past
Our current challenges tend to so completely envelope our vision that we completely forget everything else.
However, while mostly forgotten, past tales of your strength and resilience can be summoned to the surface with a little effort that can both comfort and remind you of your power.
Even if this is greater than anything you’ve ever overcome, you have dealt with great challenges in the past and your strength and persistence are a testament to your ability.
Thus far, you’ve overcome everything you’ve come up against. And you’re not going to let yourself down now. Keep pushing forward and know that you’re not just good enough– you’re altogether powerful and your past feats prove that.
4. Your negative self-talk is wrong (and you’re in control)
In many ways, the mind seeks to protect itself and the negative self-talk is no different.
However, what it ends up doing is making us think that we’re not worthy or good enough by looping the same discouraging phrases in our brain over and over.
Sure, it keeps us in our comfort zone where we’re safe and protected but we end up living a sad shadow of the happy, fulfilling life we could have had.
Whether it’s, “you’ll never be one of them” or “you’re not good enough to do that,” the inner dialogue is based less on fact and more on a simple process of projecting past experiences into beliefs that can, in fact, be entirely inaccurate.
Remember that your negative self-talk isn’t the truth. It’s not only often wrong, it has no control over you. It can be very manipulative but it’s ultimately not intelligent. By taking the time to learn how it works you can use it to your advantage instead of it being a weight that holds you down.
5. It may not be you – it could be your environment
Sometimes, it’s not really us, it’s our environment that’s sapping our confidence and self-esteem.
If you’re surrounded by toxic people or are constantly absorbing negative media or watching horrible reality shows, you’re polluting your mind in a way that can destroy your self-confidence and belief.
Fortunately, this is easy to change. Even if you have a toxic person in your vicinity that’s hard to distance yourself from, you can still balance the scales by listening to empowering audio, watching videos, and meeting new positive people who will show you how to believe in yourself.
6. Things can – and do – change in the blink of an eye
When you’re feeling like you can’t make any traction, like life is overwhelming, and it’s never going to get any better, it’s important to remember how quickly things change.
Change is a part of life and it’s inevitable that tomorrow, next month, and next year the things that are getting you down will have either passed or changed in form.
And while that doesn’t necessarily help in any concrete way now, the impermanence of life can in this instance be a very comforting and empowering fact to hold onto.
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