It’s hard to say what makes you perfect for someone else, but the Myers-Briggs personality test comes pretty close to it by pinpointing the most compatible combinations of 16 personality types.
All the various personality types are created based on whether someone is (I) introverted or (E) extroverted and whether they are led more by their (N) intuition or (S) sensing, (F) feeling or (T) thinking, and (J) judgment or (P) perception.
Beyond that, there are strengths that are subgroups or combined groups of these traits, but the test is meant to show how some people are more emphatic and better communicators, while others are better at feeling and connecting.
If you don't know your Myers-Briggs personality type, you can take the test here for free.
There are 4 overarching themes within the 16 Meyer Briggs personality types and these themes have common strengths to lean into in order to liven up your relationship. "The 2 familiar categories are the introverts and the extroverts," said Kim Woods, Spiritual Leader and Transformation Expert.
The extroverts love being with people, so on the surface, they are the ones deemed to be better in relationships. However, the introverted types have plenty of strengths to draw on, even if communication isn’t their strong suit. They are observant and always make a willing audience.
Thinkers use their heads for everything, even love and intimacy, while the feelers use their hearts. Each combination includes the 4-letter type, archetype, relationship superpower, description and effective strategies for partners.
The 16 different types are combined in 4 different categories: Analysts, Diplomats, Sentinels and Explorers. Here’s a comprehensive breakdown that will tell you what your strength in relationships is.
The Analysts
If you're categorized as an Architect, Logician, Commander or Debater, you're in the Analyst group. “This group is known as the one who struggles the most with relationships. They tend to favor rationality over emotions and impartiality over sentimentality,” said Jones.
The Commander (ENTJ)
Within this group is the Commander. The typical leader, headstrong and confident, they approach challenges in their life with determination and ambition; their relationships are no different.
When they fall for someone, they can be laser focused on making things work, as in anything they undertake. “Their ambition for success translates well in the pursuit of building strong, long term relationships,” said Jones.
Their superpower: willpower
Natural leaders, this type has charisma, confidence and charm. "They can get anyone to follow them by inspiring or brilliantly leading them. They are knowledgeable, direct and decisive. They enjoy a bit of force and don’t mind getting into a conflict to attain the best solution," said Woods.
This type is responsible and committed in all of their relationships.
Effective partner strategies: Give them the leadership role, rely on their positive outlook and dive into the information they love to share.
The Logician (INTP)
Passionate about discovery, the Logician will similarly show an intense appetite to share and discover another person. “After an initial period of reservedness, logicians become ferociously loyal,” said Jones.
Their superpower: bravery
Ability to scrutinize, analyze and absorb information are prime traits for this type. "They are quiet and contained, yet also flexible and adaptable. Being interested gives this type superhuman capacity to solve problems," said Woods.
They like being unique and are visionary in relationships as they approach it as a problem to be solved. This makes them curious about everything.
Effective partner strategies: Provide detailed explanations, give them complicated problems and let them explore abstract ideas.
The Debater (ENTP)
The debater will explore and grow in a relationship even when they're not in the presence of their partner.
“They dedicate time to thinking of how to maximize the important things in their life - relationships included,” said Jones.
Their superpower: communication
Striving for improvement, this type is outspoken, quick-witted and charming. "Partnership with them is lively and ever-changing. They have their eye on the long-term and like to flex their communication skills by debating with anyone about anything," said Woods.
They can solve new and challenging problems.
Effective partner strategies: Keep things interesting, make room for spontaneity and give them a good debate.
The Architect (INTJ)
Architects don't have their heads in clouds. They are intellectual and keen to a plan. “They will implement this strategic mindset to a romantic connection, which may lessen the importance of passion, it can lead to a committed and enjoyable long term partnership, where dedication is in spades,” said Jones.
Their superpower: healthy confrontation
Holding themselves and their partners to a higher standard is key for this type.
"They have great drive to achieve all of their original ideas. Complicating this is their quest for independence and skepticism for other’s notions. Appealing to commitment and follow-through works wonders," said Woods.
However, if the relationship doesn’t work out, these people move on quite comfortably.
Effective partner strategies: Give them difficult jobs & unfinished projects and participate in healthy debates.
The Diplomats Group
The Diplomats group is one that shines when it comes to relationships. “Their natural empathy and caring attitude goes a long way in building connections with other people,” said Jones.
The Advocate (INFJ)
Far from being a casual partner, advocates strive for deep, emotional connection. “They don't rush into a relationship, they are careful about who they choose. However, the individual they decide to share their love with is in for a profoundly spiritual connection,” said Lucy Jones Ph.D, a dating and relationship expert.
Their superpower: sensitivity
Making meaningful connections in ideas and relationships is key for this type. "They love to know the underlying motivations and reasons people do what they do. They love to envision the future based on their values for being in service," said Woods.
These people are sensitive and caring.
Effective partner strategies: Let them stand up for their beliefs, give them space to figure out hidden agendas and appreciate their sensitive ways.
The Mediator (INFP)
If you are a mediator, you're fiercely altruistic, selfless and caring. And for you, emotional connections aren't difficult to establish. One of the most compassionate of this subgroup, the mediator is quick to see the positive in people.
The Mediator has no trouble building emotional connections. Their kind disposition means their love is frequently reciprocated.
Lucy Jones
Their superpower: support
Loving deeply, this idealistic partner seeks to understand and adapts to the needs of others. "Caring and supportive, their passions run deep and they want their loved ones to succeed. Naturally skilled in communication, these lovers are loyal to their values and to the people who are important to them," said Woods.
Effective partner strategies: Give them a cause, be grateful for their support and encourage their ideals.
The Campaigner (ENFP)
Campaigners breathe passion and will certainly bring it to their relationship. They are naturally outgoing, keen to share ideas and experiences and find comfort in relationships.
“They may not be wholly focused on one true relationship, instead valuing an exciting tapestry of relationships over their lives, then eventually devoting themselves to one special person,” said Jones.
Their superpower: devotion
Charming, energetic and lively, these people love to entertain and to be spontaneous.
"Everyone feels better being with them and they’re at their best when they can find the deeper meaning. They are enthusiastic, imaginative and see life as full of possibilities. Making connections of any kind come quickly and naturally. Their communication skills are excellent and they show their devotion when they feel appreciated," said Woods.
Effective partner strategies: Appreciate their supportive ways, affirm their beliefs and get them talking – about anything.
The Protagonist (ENFJ)
Much like the protagonist in many stories, a romantic, eternal connection is the end goal for protagonists. They pursue relationships with that thought in mind.
Much of their life is geared towards the pursuit of happiness, relationships are a key part of that ambition.
Lucy Jones
Their superpower: growth
This type always sees the full potential in everyone, especially their loved ones and this extends to their relationships.
"Being authentically caring is their superpower as they can find the best in any scenario and inspires to see it too. Warmth, empathy and responsibility is a powerful combination," said Woods.
This winning personality type is fun, affectionate and sociable, yet yearns for commitment.
Effective partner strategies: Motivational techniques, growth questions and emotional connection.
The Explorers
Explorers relish spontaneity, are quick to respond to sudden changes and do not shy away from adventure or something new. This makes Explorers a highly exciting personality group to have a relationship with, and this is no less true for the Entertainer subgroup.
Within the Explorers groups is also the Virtuoso. This would be a personality that enjoys the tactile side of life. “They're keen to get their hands dirty which frequently leads to careers such as engineering and construction,” said Jones. Their relationship superpower is a keen understanding of themselves. It's difficult to succeed in a relationship when you struggle to understand who you are, Virtuoso's don't have this weakness. “They're well aware of what excites and what bores them, they understand the importance of alone time and are enthusiastic when greeted by something they want - including relationships,” said Jones.
The Virtuoso (ISTP)
Virtuosos love what they love and they won't beat around the bush. They are certain in what they want and know how to get it.
“They understand the power of individualism and when and where it is appropriate, helping to make sensible and healthy relationships,” said Jones.
Their superpower: respect
Being efficient and finding workable solutions are the primary strengths of the ISTP. "They are tolerant and flexible making them able to easily analyze vast input to get to the root of any problem. Although, they love to create, they take a logical and practical approach," said Woods. They respect their partners and are confident in themselves.
Effective partner strategies: Allow them fact-based criteria, set timed goals and give them complex issues to puzzle out and solve.
The Adventurer (ISFP)
Abundance of emotion and passion follow Adventurers around and they definitely bring that into the relationship.
“While it can sometimes be difficult to get them to stay still long enough to build that partnership, when they do the relationship is rewarded with spontaneity and fun,” said Jones.
Their superpower: beauty appreciation
A free-spirit, this type enjoys the present moment and loves to explore creative expression. "Native peacemakers, these people seek harmony and beauty. They need solace to take in all it and relish the quiet moments. Their sensitivity makes them kind and respectful of the needs of their partner," said Woods. Although they uphold their values and align with their opinions, they don’t force them on others.
Effective partner strategies: Take advantage of alone time, create a beautiful environment and patiently listen to their views.
The Entrepreneur (ESTP)
All facets of life are intertwined for the Entrepreneurs; work, friends, love, family - they are interconnected with resources shared across them all. This means that their relationships tend to be richer.
“For that reason, Entrepreneurs excel at making relationships seem larger and more profound, their relationships don't begin and end with the two people in them - instead cover many facets of their lives,” said Jones.
Their superpower: spontaneity
Impetuous and active, this type lives in the now. "They love a thrill and seek passion and pleasure. Attuned to other’s needs and desires, this sensual partner spoils with abandon," said Woods. Expect to be energized in their presence with lots of activity and conversation.
Effective partner strategies: Keep them busy, allow changing expectations and go with the flow.
The Entertainer (ESFP)
“Entertainers are exactly as you would assume, natural born charmers,” said Jones. “Their ability to light up a room makes them a delight to be around.” They're comfort in being surrounded by other people enables many opportunities for relationships, and their exciting and enjoyable disposition makes them a target for affection.
This type relishes an opportunity to share with others.
Their relationship superpower is their ability to make any situation fun, they can construct positivity in the hardest of places.
Lucy Jones
Their superpower: emotional strength
With a clever wit, this fun-loving type is generous, decisive and friendly. "They enjoy working with others and making things happen. They live in the moment and thrive on flexibility and spontaneity. Contradicting this is their down-to-earth and common sense approach. They accept things and people as they are and love experimenting with emotional connections," said Woods.
They adapt readily to new people and environments.
Effective partner strategies: Any purchase, travel or event planning, ideas about new situations and conversations about the new people in their life.
The Sentinels
Sentinels favour rules and structure over wild emotion, said Jones. They value an idea of 'how things should be' and are not quick to change that.
This doesn't make them cold or unempathetic however. In fact the Defender is one of the most altruistic personality subgroups. Ultimately, it ends up looking like something of a mathematical equation when we put it all together.
The Logistician (ISTJ)
They are lovers of traditionalism, family and comfort. “Logistician's relationship superpower is an ability to radiate a sense of calm, not fixated on spontaneity, they can make relationships feel warm and familiar,” said Jones.
Their superpower: commitment
Thinking about relationship as a work project actually is a great strength for this type. "Loyalty, dependability and a matter-of-fact approach to love is an asset. There’s no drama or manipulation of emotions, instead this type decides logically what should be done and takes pleasure in doing it," said Woods.
When they commit, it lasts forever.
Effective partner strategies: Present checklists, let them rank their priorities and appeal to their values.
The Executive (ESTJ)
Straight talking, you know exactly what you get when it comes to an Executive. “They don't play games or tolerate rubbish, they tell their partner exactly how it is with unashamed and respectful honesty,” said Jones.
Their superpower: decisiveness
Quick, decisive action with a matter-of-fact approach is at the core of this type. "ESTJ’s like to organize those around them and to take the lead in any situation. Give them a plan and they will come up with a course of action. They take care of everything and everyone around them," said Woods.
Their sheer force cuts through any issues to problems.
Effective partner strategies: Let them make decisions and plans and sit back to enjoy the results.
The Defender (ISFJ)
Defenders excel in taking care of others. Their people skills make them experts in connecting with those around them. “They excel with relationships, people skills and connecting with others. They enjoy the care of others over themselves,” said Jones.
This selflessness and dedication to others help Defenders build strong and reciprocated romantic connections. “This makes forming close bonds much easier, plus their altruistic nature ensures a long and rewarding relationship,” said Jones.
Their superpower: listener
Sensitive to intimate partners, this type is conscientious, committed and loyal. "They meet their obligations and strive for harmony and beauty in their environments.They are observant and naturally practice active listening," said Woods. They take their relationships seriously and love to provide practical advice and emotional support.
Effective partner strategies: Have lots and lots of conversation, keep the environment peaceful and limit clutter and busyness.
The Consuls (ESFJ)
Consuls are popular with everyone, it's difficult to find someone who has a bad word to say about them. “They thrive on connection and being in the vicinity of other people, for that reason they are not short on opportunities for love."
They're talented in making the object of their attention feel validated and heard
Lucy Jones
Their superpower: reliability
This type has the warmest heart and are usually in a good mood. "They are conscientious, cooperative and social gatherings of any size. Natural people pleasers, this type seeks harmony and displays their loyal hearts by observing others to help in their day-to-day," said Woods. They avoid short-term affairs and make excellent long-term partners.
Effective partner strategies: Appreciative notes, tasks where they can contribute and working with others.
In conclusion
While all these strengths are naturally not exclusive to each category, they stand out amongst others in the individuals belonging to each group.
Knowing what your strength is will allow you to apply it and improve it. It can also help you figure out what you want out of your relationship. It's natural for all of us to want a partner who appreciates our strength and who is able to complement our weaknesses.
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