When someone you like appears like they’re not interested in you, it really sucks. And it can leave you asking yourself, “Is there something wrong with me?” The answer is, absolutely not.

There is nothing wrong with you. And actually, the more you can go through life facing what appears to be a rejection, the stronger, more resilient, and more self-assured you become. And like every little setback in life, it becomes an amazing opportunity for growth and self-reflection. 

So, let’s say someone’s either blown you off, taken longer than you’d prefer to get back to you, or sounded offish or disinterested when they last spoke to you. Or maybe you’ve felt a special connection with someone you can’t get off your mind only to be told they don’t like you back. What do you do? How do you react?

First, I want to point out, if someone is rude or impolite to you, then it’s probably best to steer clear! But if they are simply coming across like they are not interested in you in the early stages of getting to you, it doesn’t mean they are a bad person. 

Don’t take it personally

Remember, if someone isn’t interested in you, it doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you. It’s more of a reflection of where they are at. Maybe they aren’t looking for a relationship right now and have other priorities that come first. Maybe the timing is off or they need a bit more space.

If your crush “doesn’t see you in that way”, do not let this deter you from believing how amazing, unique, and wonderfully individual you are. It is totally normal to feel upset that your crush doesn’t see the greatness in you, but I cannot stress this enough: never, ever, EVER change who you are to be the type of person you think they may be into! Always be yourself! And the right person will like you back.

Remember that you too have not liked back every person that had a crush on you either. You can put yourself in their shoes and know how it feels. We’re all entitled to our feelings whatever the outcome is, so try and let them off the hook. 

Don’t try harder

It can be easy to hold on tighter to someone that is pulling away but try and resist the urge to contact them once you feel their disinterest. It will only cause them to become even more distant. 

Use your energy instead to process how you feel. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, and work through your feelings of disappointment. Instead of sitting there staring at your phone waiting for them to get back to you, go out with friends, take nice walks, meet more people, and do things you love

Avoid passive aggressiveness

The very worst thing you can do is to aggressively or passively-aggressively react to their disinterest in you. Reacting in an angry, sarcastic way shows that they have power over you and your emotions, and I’m sorry to say, this is not a good look. 

The very best thing you can do is to accept that they are where they are without judgment and use this as an opportunity to practice your highest principles of communication. Present the best version of yourself – the confidant, sexy, resilient, self-assured you! 

Remember, if they aren’t into you now, it doesn’t mean they won’t be later on. When you react in a way that you are proud of, the person you are interested in is much more likely to get back in touch when they are ready to date. Because self-confidence is very attractive. But who knows, when they are ready, maybe you could have moved on.

Rejection is redirection

Communicating your best self even when it feels uncomfortable is mastery level, guys! Of course, it’s hard not to react when someone you like doesn’t like you back, so be easy on yourself if you have let anger and hurt get the better of you. But know that you can always make amends if you do feel you have acted out of line.

It also helps to understand that this person may actually be a blessing in disguise. Call it divine intervention if you will! This person who is seemingly rejecting you, is, in fact, guiding you to someone else way more perfect for you! So keep up those positive vibes, love yourself first, and the next person who comes along, will love you back too.

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