When women go out for a night on the town, we often need to be more vigilant than men out on the party scene. Sexism is so rampant in our culture that a clear “no” from a woman is often not good enough to some men until another man steps in and says “no” even louder.
Guardian bartender
A woman posted a tweet that said, “This man was harassing me and my friend and the bartender passed this note to me acting like it was my receipt! Legit the type of bartender everyone needs.”
The note from the bartender reads, “If this guy is bothering you, put your ponytail on your other shoulder, and I will have him removed. He’s giving me the creeps.”
The strategic move of asking the woman to move her ponytail onto her other shoulder is often what it takes to ensure safety in these situations. Since these predatory men can end up being potentially volatile or even violent towards women as well, these measures are necessary.
“It’s something you just pick up from mentor bartenders. Eventually you become pretty good at reading people, body language etc.”
- Max the Bartender
As Max the bartender explained on Reddit, “This guy was giving off very weird vibes for quite a while, kept an eye on him, try to give him a chance, try to let the girls tell him no and leave it at that, but he didn’t take no for an answer and kept pestering them so eventually I kind of yelled at him and made him leave lol.”
Max explains, “I honestly don’t like yelling at customers or embarrassing people, but I find it’s one of the best ways to handle creeps. Calling them out in front of people is usually enough to get them to turn tail and walk away. I just don’t need my guests feeling uncomfortable.”
An example to follow
If all bartenders were this adept at reading body language and filtering out the creeps from the respectful patrons at their establishments women would be a lot safer in their spaces. But the main issue lies in the fact that the harasser’s behaviour stems from our patriarchal society that perpetuates the notion that his behavior is even acceptable. When in reality, it is not.
The burden often falls solely on women to protect ourselves in these types of situations, but the truth is that male allyship is welcome and encouraged. When you are in a position to help another person, do so, irrespective of gender or any other divisive social lines.
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