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Purpose

What Should I Do Today? 10 Fun, Productive, and Effective Ideas For Tackling the Day
Purpose

What Should I Do Today? 10 Fun, Productive, and Effective Ideas For Tackling the Day

Life is busy. We work raise children, care for our parents, cook and clean, and spend innumerable hours in the car getting to and from these places and gathering necessary supplies. Rarely do we have hours spread before us where we’re asking ourselves, “What should I do today?”RELATED: Healthy Life: Improve Your Spiritual Wellness With These 10 Fulfilling TipsSo the question to be answered here is not what you should do with loads of free time at your fingertips. If that were the case, I’m betting that the vast majority of you would stop reading right now. Rather, the question is what exactly should you be doing in the time that you have to get where you want to be. And the answer -- of course -- depends on what you’re hoping the outcome will be. The destination might be right around the corner or years down the road, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming.If a clean and well-organized house reduces your anxiety and is key to your work week unrolling without a hitch, then spending hours on Saturday washing floors and scrubbing the bathtub is not a waste. If you’re hoping for a promotion to a job whose requirements include a skill you don’t have, then taking that continuing education course online is exactly what you should be doing with your time.Buravleva Stock/ShutterstockIf you have a tendency to balk in the face of limitless possibilities, you’re not alone. It can be difficult to narrow down what it is we should be doing with our time. There are so many non-negotiable demands on those 24 hours—not the least of which is sleep. Then there are the countless “gurus” preaching about how we should eat, how we should dress, and how we should move during the day. It’s hard to not jump from one thing to the next, trying to improve our lives, be more productive and have more fun.Tourism WhistlerInstead of drastically overhauling your life, or thinking you need a 20-step master plan to become the best version of yourself, think in terms of the small things you can do to think better, feel better, and do better. And when you wake up in the morning, instead of stressing about the number of things that you need to accomplish in the hours ahead of you, take a moment to just be grateful for those hours and their possibilities. As Edith Wharton, the first woman to win the Pulitzer Prize in Fiction, once wrote, “Set wide the window. Let me drink the day.”So let’s follow that advice as we ask ourselves the question, “What should I do?”Ask Yourself, "What led me to where I am today?"Buravleva Stock/ShutterstockIn order to “set wide the window” on our day, it’s important to acknowledge the curtains—that is, what we’re pulling aside to start this day. We all show up to our day with a certain amount of baggage. It might be as complicated as past unresolved traumas or as simple (yet still aggravating) as having no dinner plan because you didn’t do the grocery shopping.Our capacity to check in—or our tendency to check out—depends a lot on past events. And while we can’t change them, we can acknowledge them and make a plan for moving forward. Ask yourself what led you to this exact moment. How far you reach into your past is up to you and depends on the particularities of your situation; but try to acknowledge the bumps in the road that might be holding you back.“Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.”—Auguste RodinAfter you’ve acknowledged the events that have led you to this point, it will be easier to understand your emotional baseline. It’s important to make decisions from a healthy baseline and not out of fear or anxiety. At the same time, a healthy emotional baseline is not void of emotion. Some people are naturally more sensitive than others, more empathetic, and quicker to action or to anger. Some people are in a more heightened state of emotions more often than others. What’s important is a degree of self-awareness that will allow you to make healthier decisions.There are several things you can do to regulate your emotions, including healthy eating and getting enough sleep (more on that later). One key element to achieve a healthy emotional baseline is play. Playing helps us find our inner child and have fun. Laughing, moving, and being able to take life less seriously are excellent ways to let off steam and return to our emotional baseline. Play is also an excellent way to reconnect with friends and family members. Getting outside for a pickup soccer game, playing a board game, or taking 20 minutes out of our busy schedules to play hide-and-seek with our kids—these or any other of a number of fun things can make all the difference in reorienting ourselves.Speaking of those busy schedules, it’s not often a lack of wanting to play that keeps us from it. Why don’t we play more often? The answer is simple: life. It’s too busy; the days just fly by. This is why it is so important to treat play as something you need to do, not something you just want to do. Schedule it! Just as you wouldn’t miss that big meeting with the boss, block off your schedule for some time to play, to do something that fills your cup. Put it in your calendar and treat it with as much importance as a scheduled meeting or doctor’s appointment. It’s for your health, after all.So the next time you ask yourself, what should I do, maybe the answer isn’t to work harder but to play harder.What Kind of Work-Life Balance Are You Aiming For?Buravleva Stock/ShutterstockWhat would your ideal weekly schedule look like? How many days would you spend in the office as opposed to days at home? How important is advancement along your career path versus advancement in your home or family life? Is your working environment contributing to or taking away from your happiness? Are your life goals more aligned with your work or your leisure?These thought-provoking questions can help you step back from the daily grind and your tried-and-true way of providing for yourself and your family and get a better look at the big picture. There are many ways to live a more fun, more productive way of life, one that fulfills your immediate needs as well as your big-picture needs—but the only way to zero in on them is to clearly define both.Albert Einstein once said, “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” Think about how powerful that is. Indeed, the power of positive thinking has been well documented. It’s closely linked to self-fulfilling prophecy, or the idea that whatever you believe to be true about yourself, or the way things work in the world, will be true for you. A quote from Henry Ford adds commentary to Einstein’s thought: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”We spend much of our life at our jobs, usually at least a third. And when you think that you should (ahem) be spending another third of your 24-hour day sleeping, you realize how important it is to enjoy your work. It’s possible to feel fulfillment in any job and how you perform it, as long as it aligns with your life goals and helps you to attain a work-life balance that makes sense to you.If you’re wondering what one thing you could do today to take a step in the right direction in your career, it’s this: believe that anything is possible. Because it is.“There are always flowers for those who want to see them.”Henri MatisseBuravleva Stock/ShutterstockDon’t let preconceived notions of a difficult job market stop you. Don’t let your current level of education stop you. Don’t spend your entire life wondering what would have happened if…You have to learn a new language when it comes to getting what you want. If you love your career, it shows. If you hate it, it also has a big impact on your life. You have to change the way things are if what you want is something different than what you already have.But you can start with what you have. Find a career path that makes use of your skills and talents but also your passions. It’s a guaranteed formula for success. You’ll be good at a job that use your skills; when the job is also something you believe in, it will be rewarding. In such a working environment, success will be natural. You’ll make your way up in your career, resulting in a circle of results and rewards. Consider where you are now and where you want to go—and then fill in the stair steps that it will take to get there. Every lofty career goal (and life goal, for that matter) can be broken down into manageable steps. Lay them out, and the next time that you ask yourself, what should I do, start tackling the next step.Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that it’s too late, either. Karen L. Pepkin and Wendell C. Taylor wrote a whole book about people who achieved their dreams after the age of 60, people from all walks of life who didn’t let age hold them back. And as far as career goals go, consider this: if you’re in your mid-forties, you have two decades until you hit retirement age! That’s a long time to be “settling” for less than the best.The other half of the work-life balance is, of course, life. Don’t listen to people who tell you that the balance can’t be done. Everyone’s balance is different, so the key here is to prioritize.Identify Your Life GoalsBuravleva Stock/Shutterstock“The level of our success is limited only by our imagination.”AesopIs it possible to have it all? It depends on what that means to you. But more often than not, when we make a list of our priorities, certain patterns emerge. Rare is the person who, in fact, wants to be able to experience every avenue that life has to offer. Rather, our priorities underline the aspects of life that we value the most and the opportunities from which we’ll reap the greatest rewards.“Don’t sit down and wait for the opportunities to come. Get up and make them!”Madam C.J. WalkerWhen we define our life goals, there are some that will emerge as non-negotiable and others that are fuzzier. Working toward the first category is what will allow you to feel more productive, more self-fulfilled, and to have more fun—because the steps to get there are inherently more rewarding to you. The fuzzier ones may make their way in at some point, and if they don’t, you probably won’t even notice. After identifying your priorities, declutter your life. Get rid of the things that take a lot of time and bring little joy, such as participating in a committee that meets all the way across town or playing on a sports team whose practices are late at night when you have to work early the next morning.If it’s difficult to decide what to give up and what to keep, consider this: nothing is set in stone. If you give up that environmental committee that takes up a lot of hours of your week only to find that you really miss it, nothing is stopping you from joining back up next month. On the other hand, if you give up that competitive rock climbing club across town but find a weekend biking group close by that you enjoy just as much, what a win!10 New and Productive Things To Do TodayBuravleva Stock/ShutterstockWhat should I do today? What if the answer was something very small, very simple, that you could check off your list with style and ease? If you worry too much about achieving a greater goal, consider this quote from Helen Keller: “I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.”Self-actualization is looking at yourself and analyzing your own ability to grow. When you take care of yourself (mind, body, and soul), you gain self-awareness and an energy that allows you to grow as a person. This, in turn, will allow you to accomplish tasks big and small to reach your goal. Below is a list of small tasks that you can build upon to reach a greater goal. If you’re asking yourself, what should I do today—pick one or more of the things below. They’re fun—and the positive benefits you’ll reap from them will leave you feeling more productive and more fulfilled. Show Gratitude Buravleva Stock/ShutterstockAfter the alarm clock goes off but before you get out of bed, take a minute or two to name three specific things you’re grateful for. This will set the tone for your day. In the evening, as you drift off to sleep, silently name three more.Make a new friendThink of someone in your life who you admire, someone you want to be like. Talk to them. Have coffee with them. Learn something from them that you can apply to your daily life.Cut your screen time by 20 minutesThat’s over two extra hours you’ll have in your week, without giving up your favorite TV shows!Thank someoneBuravleva Stock/ShutterstockWhether it’s for a gift or a favor, for something big or small, taking the time to thank someone for the positive impact they’ve had on your day will multiply those feelings.ApologizeDon’t allow anxiety to overshadow any part of your day. If you said or did something that you regret, don’t let it take up any more time in your day. Immediately seek out that person to clear the air. Even if you’re unsure it will be beneficial to say it: “I feel like I made that situation more awkward. I’m sorry.”Drink more waterWondering what to do in the ten minutes between dropping your son off for soccer and picking up your daughter from her piano lesson? Drink a glass of water or eat an apple. You’ll feel an instant increase in energy, and it’s good for you!Go outsideEven if it’s to take a lap around a commercial center during your lunch break, getting a breath of fresh air and a bit of sunshine does wonders for the mind. If you can take a quick walk in a forest or near a lake, you’ll be surprised at how much that helps you focus once you’re back inside.PlayBuravleva Stock/ShutterstockPlay a board game with your family. Throw a frisbee in the park with your dog. Play, however, you want to do it, is a fun way to develop your sense of self. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.Do goodSometimes, taking care of others is a wonderful way to get you out of a funk and help renew your energy. And it’s something you can do right away, with very few resources! Take coffee and pastries to your local fire department. Help an elderly person get their groceries into their car. Give your child an extra hug when they come home from school. It was Anne Frank who said it best: “How wonderful it is that nobody needs to wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”SleepBuravleva Stock/ShutterstockThis last thing you can do today will have exponential effects on your productivity and ability to achieve your dreams. The far-reaching benefits of sleep have been well documented. For starters, sleep gives you more energy, allows you to be more productive in your waking hours, and allows your brain to synthesize information it took in during the day. What should you do? Choose to be a better you every day. It’s not about constant success. It’s about knowing what to do in the face of failure and moving forward. Drink the day!“Start where you are, with what you have. Make something of it; never be satisfied!”George Washington Carver

Ikigai: The Powerful Japanese Philosophy That Will Add Purpose To Your Life
Purpose

Ikigai: The Powerful Japanese Philosophy That Will Add Purpose To Your Life

People often say that finding purpose is the foundation of a healthy and more fulfilling life. Yet for millions of people, purpose feels elusive, like some far-off destination, an epiphany waiting for divine intervention.Narratives around living the life of your dreams can package purpose in a very set way, telling stories of a select few who were lucky enough to find their purpose, and never looked back.All of these assumptions about purpose make it both intimidating and seemingly unattainable. Factor in cultural ideas of what purpose looks like — from starting a billion-dollar venture in Silicon Valley to living a life in service of the greater good — and you’ll likely be left feeling frustrated, or confused, about how to add purpose to your life.Fortunately, these assumptions are misleading. Purpose is much easier to attain than it seems on the surface. And, thankfully, the Japanese concept of ikigai makes discovering your purpose practical. There’s no need to wait for a eureka moment, or yearn for the day purpose will arrive on your doorstep. With ikigai as your own personal Japanese secret, you can start taking deliberate steps to add purpose to your days and inhabit a more happy life. This article will show you how you can start your own personal ikigai journey. Let’s get started!What is the Japanese concept of Ikigai?The best translation for ikigai (pronounced “ee key guy”) is “a reason for being.” The term is formed from the Japanese words iki (life) and gai (worth or benefit).Ikigai is central to Japanese culture, with its origin stretching all the way back to the Heian period, a period of classical Japanese history lasting between the years 794 and 1185.American researcher Dan Buettner, who presented the popular Ted Talk How to Live to 100, identified ikigai as one of the main factors for greater longevity in Japan. Buettner popularized the concept in the West in the early 2000s.Long before then, Japanese psychiatrist Mieko Kamiya, the Mother of Ikigai, wrote one of the most popular modern-day books on the philosophy, Ikigai-ni-Tsuite (What Makes Our Life Worth Living), in 1966. This was around the time early positive psychology was born. Psychologists such as Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers, and Viktor Frankl shifted the paradigm of psychology away from pathology, and towards what makes for a fulfilling, meaningful life.(Getty)Moving towards a more meaningful lifeKamiya herself compared ikigai to Frankl’s approach to meaning. Both were well-versed in how suffering could lead to personal growth. Frankl from his time spent in concentration camps during the Holocaust, and Kamiya worked with leprosy patients. Kamiya described ikigai as:“Ikigai means ‘power necessary for one to live in this world, happiness to be alive, benefit, effectiveness.’ When we try to translate it into English, German, French etc, it seems that there is no other way to define it other than ‘worth living’ or ‘value or meaning to live’. Thus, compared to philosophical theoretical concepts, the word ikigai shows us how ambiguous the Japanese language is, but because of this it has an effect of reverberation and amplitude.”She acknowledged that “the fact that this word exists should indicate that the goal to live, its meaning and value within the daily life of the Japanese soul has been problematized.” In other words, the word exists because modern-living, to some degree, has disconnected people from their innate sense of purpose, or their soul’s calling.Kamiya further defines ikigai into two categories — the source of ikigai, and the state of mind someone feels when connected to the source (ikigai-kan). For Kamiya, ikigai-kan is linked to Frankl’s concept of meaning. In life, a person’s mission is to connect to their mission. Failure to do so can result in depression or anxiety.In order to become clear on this mission, Kamiya suggested two questions:What is my existence for?What is the purpose of my existence?Gaining ClarityOnce clarity is gained, ikigai becomes the North Star that you are guided to. The journey itself is what’s important, not the final destination. Those who are moving towards that North Star experience a sense of fulfillment, ikigai-kan.Kamiya was careful to note those pursuing their purpose weren’t always distinguished people — someone can be in service to ikigai when raising children, teaching at schools, or working in medicine. What’s most important is that a person is able to connect to their purpose, and honor it, in whichever way is unique to them.For Kamiya, the process of clarifying and honoring their soul’s calling is the discovery of a new theme of existence. For many people, this process could unfold during a spiritual awakening, where their motivations radically transform. For others, it could be a slight, but noticeable change of direction.Ikigai and Maslow’s hierarchy of needsIn addition to parallels between Frankl’s work on the value of meaning, Kamiya also discovered that to experience ikigai-kan, someone must first have several personal needs met. The result is a similar model of thinking to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which outlines the journey of growth and self-actualization.The needs Kamiya identified are:The need for life satisfactionThe need for change and growthThe need for a bright futureThe need for resonanceThe need for freedomThe need for self-actualizationThe need for meaning and valueThese closely resemble Maslow’s pyramid of physiological needs, safety needs, love and belonging, esteem, self-actualization, and self-transcendence (the often forgotten additional layer). It’s worth keeping in mind, though, that Maslow noted for some, lower levels can be transcended by higher values, such as creativity being more important than safety needs or esteem.The same can be said of ikigai — if your mission or purpose is something greater than you, it’s likely that it can overshadow other personal needs and contribute to well being.Why is Ikigai important for a fulfilling life?As Buettner discovered, meaning is one of the most influential factors in living a long and healthy life, both for younger generations and those that are older. Buettner has researched so-called Blue Zones, the locations where people lived for longer and enjoyed greater wellbeing.Five locations Buettner discovered were Okinawa, Japan; Sardinia, Italy; Nicoya, Costa Rica; Ikaria, Greece, and Loma Linda, California. He noticed that these five locations placed a lot of emphasis on meaning and purpose.This has been backed up by multiple studies. A 2014 UCL-led study of 9,000 people with an average age of 65 found that those with a greater sense of meaning and purpose were 30 percent less likely to die in the following eight-year period. More recently in 2019, a study of 7,000 people over the age of 50 found “life purpose was significantly associated with all-cause mortality.” So much so, the lowest scorers of the study were twice as likely to have died than those with the highest scores five years later.The power of ikigaiNoriyuki Nakashi, from Osaka University, explains the power of ikigai as:“Ikigai is personal: it reflects the inner self of an individual and expresses that faithfully.Ikigai, which is the highest level of desire, may be considered to be essentially the process of cultivating one’s inner potential and that which makes one's life significant, a universal human experience we all wish to achieve.”Purpose gives you a deeper reason for living, it makes your life significant. As noted by thinkers such as Kamiya and Frankl, there is an interesting component to this — it appears, deep down, each of us has a purpose that we intuitively know and understand. Our mission is to listen to that calling and do all we can to honor it, in order to cultivate our inner potential.Longevity is a byproduct of doing something right. Purpose gives you the energy and inspiration to pursue your goals, overcome struggle, and keep going when times are tough. It provides strong foundations of fulfillment and can give your life a new direction, not towards fleeting happiness, but towards things of high value. In the words of Oscar Wilde: “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”Understanding the Ikigai chart and your own ikigai journeyAre you ready for your mind to be blown by ikigai, the Japanese secret that so many swear by? For your understanding of ikigai to take a drastic u-turn into a new theme of existence? The ikigai venn diagram, shared by millions and rising to meme-like popularity on social media, isn’t linked to ikigai. Instead, it was an idea from Marc Winn, an entrepreneur and blogger who merged the idea of ikigai with a venn diagram of purpose.Winn was introduced to the concept of ikigai and the ikigai diagram from Buettner’s Ted Talk. “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry,” he wrote in 2017, “less than an hour of my time has made more of a difference in the world than all my time put together.”Winn acknowledges his own surprise that his idea, and the diagram, spiraled out of control. The diagram is shown below:While the venn diagram is incredibly useful, there’s one major downside — the true meaning of ikigai isn’t about making money. The diagram might be valuable in understanding how you can launch a career of meaning, but in many ways, it’s the result of ikigai running through the money-oriented worldview of the West.In fact, a 2010 study of 2,000 people in Japan found that only a third saw work as their ikigai. In addition, the Japanese translation of life means both your lifespan, and everyday life. This leads to another possible misinterpretation — ikigai can be discovered in the simple, day-to-day joys of living, not a grandiose plan or life mission worthy of Hollywood fame. It’s a spectrum of joy, from the seemingly mundane to the miraculous, and everything between.The five pillars of ikigaiSo if the ikigai isn’t discovered through a venn diagram, how do you apply the concept to your life? In The Little Book of Ikigai, Japanese neuroscientist and author Ken Mogi offers a five-pillar framework. By following this framework, you’re able to cultivate the type of lifestyle that allows for the emergence of ikigai:Pillar One: Start SmallDiscovering a new theme of existence begins with small steps. That could be as simple as making the inner commitment to start creating a life of enhanced purpose.What changes could you make, today, to start that process? Is there a passion, or calling, that you sense on the periphery of your awareness? What could you do in order to start honoring that? Remember, purpose doesn’t have to be elaborate or grand.Applying Kamiya’s work, you could journal and answer the two questions: what is my existence for? What is the purpose of my existence? Don’t think about it too much, just see what surfaces.Additionally, consider what things in life are the source of ikigai, or when are the moments when you feel ikigai-kan. For me, writing is the source of both. Although now established as a writer, in the beginning, it started with a commitment to write a little every day.Pillar Two: Releasing YourselfThis pillar demonstrates how deep the philosophy of ikigai is, and its entanglement with other Eastern philosophies that have stood the test of time, such as Buddhism. (Getty)Releasing yourself means to let go of all the things in life you hold onto, that cause some form of suffering.It’s similar to the Buddhist practices of non-attachment. Are you attached to your self-image, what other people think of you, or always thinking about a time you’ll finally be happy?Releasing yourself requires accepting where you’re at, who you are, and the moment in front of you. It leads to a state of peaceful surrender, going with the flow, rather than grappling with life.Ikigai is, after all, a practice of aligning with nature. “The greatest secret of the ikigai, ultimately, has to be the acceptance of oneself, no matter what kind of unique features one might happen to be born with,” Mogi writes.Pillar Three: Harmony and SustainabilityThis step is connected to your environment. Ikigai incorporates the people in our lives, our immediate community, the quality and sustainability of all living things we interact with.As Mogi says, “A man is like a forest; individual and yet connected and dependent on others for growth.” Harmony and sustainability are both inner and outer experiences, reflected in your emotions, your thoughts, the way you interact with the world, the way you go about your work.(Getty)Consider any area of life where there is disharmony. Perhaps you have a few relationships that cause friction, or you are pushing yourself to extremes, unable to sustain that approach to hustle culture for the long term. In what ways can you invite a more peaceful approach? How can you be the source of harmony, for yourself, and for the wider world around you?That doesn’t have to mean being half-hearted in what you do, quite the opposite, as ikigai encourages commitment and passion in equal measure. But make sure not to fall into traps of seriousness, and keep an explorative, playful attitude to yourself, your relationships, your community, and your work.Pillar Four: The Joy of Little ThingsIkigai is a comprehensive philosophy, as well as being an antidote to a lot of modern approaches to finding happiness through constant striving, or the craving for success or recognition.Deeply embedded in the Japanese concept is finding joy in little things. Your morning coffee. A smile from a stranger. An unexpected spell of sunshine. A message from a friend you’ve not spoken to in a while. A delicious sip of energizing green tea. All of these are opportunities to enjoy small sparks of joy, sparks that pave the way for a life in honor of ikigai.(Getty)As Kamiya notes, those dedicated to ikigai spend all their days in fulfillment. Yes, there might be a challenging process of realizing your calling, and adjusting your life to make sure you have supreme focus on fulfilling your potential. But ikigai isn’t about the end destination, it’s about smelling the flowers on the way.The easiest way to do this is to look for gratitude in your life. What things bring you a sense of comfort? What in your life would you have never predicted or thought you’d be able to achieve? What have you overcome? Who adds laughter or who supports you? All of these reflections of gratitude support the feeling of ikigai-kan.Pillar Five: Being in the Here and NowTo reaffirm the intention of ikigai, and its link to mindfulness, the final pillar reminds us to be present. To pause. To become fully aware of what’s directly in front of us. To take things one step at a time, and notice when our minds get caught in the past, or jump ahead to the future. The more present you become, the richer life is, the more nourishing each moment, and the less fearful you become about uncertain futures.The irony of trying to find happiness is that it keeps us always looking ahead, waiting for a moment to come. But as many Eastern philosophies have taught, that is an illusion. Only the present ever exists. And the more you’re able to truly arrive in the present moment, the more likely you will be to experience deeper fulfillment.Ikigai is a philosophy that reminds us that, with a brief pause, a moment of gratitude for the small things, acceptance for who we are and where we’re at. Then you might end up finding purpose where you never expected it — right in front of you.Right here, right now.

The Shocking Truth Behind Paris Hilton's Dumb Blonde Persona Will Change How You See Her
Mental Health

The Shocking Truth Behind Paris Hilton's Dumb Blonde Persona Will Change How You See Her

When we think of Paris Hilton, we always have a certain image in mind: the ditzy, dumb, conceited, blonde heiress. What we don’t realize is that her public perception has very much been shaped by the media; these platforms have profited off depicting Paris in a certain way to generate more views, more sales, and more clicks.While it’s no secret that Paris has made some problematic decisions over the years, it’s also unfair to examine those choices without looking into her past. Believe it or not: before the sex tape, the reality shows, the perfume lines, and the horror movies, Paris was just an innocent teenager. In the documentary This Is Paris, it emerges that Paris as a teenager wanted nothing more than to fit in and be loved by her family and friends. Her adolescence, however, was rife with personal tragedies and insecurities, which led to further pain and disillusionment in her twenties and thirties. </p><p>At 41, Paris has learned her lessons; she has found it in her heart to move on and focus on building a world that is just a little better than it was yesterday. Her journey from a bad-girl socialite to a confident businesswoman tells us that it’s difficult but not impossible to heal from those tragedies and live our life with purpose and meaning.<br/></p><h2>Paris’s “Abusive” Experience at Boarding School Left her Permanently “Traumatized” </h2><p>As a teenager, Paris had developed a reputation for being a party girl. In the documentary, she <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOg0TY1jG3w&ab_channel=ParisHilton">recalled </a>being “addicted to the nightlife” in New York. Her parents were growing more and more concerned over their young daughter’s behaviour but instead of addressing those issues in a reasonable, empathetic manner, they decided to ship their child off to a boarding school. </p><p>At first, she was sent to an “outdoor wilderness program,” revealed Paris’s mother, Kathy Hilton. Hailed as an “emotional growth school,” in the middle of nowhere, this camp forced Paris and other teenagers to do manual labour all day long. </p><p>Paris tried to break out of the facility with another girl but they were caught and brought back. Paris described the ordeal, saying: <br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>The guys that worked at the camp grabbed us and then we got back and they literally just beat the hell out of us in front of everyone. </p></blockquote><p>Paris was then sent to another camp for troubled teenagers but she managed to run away this time for real. Kathy and Rick Hilton were getting more and more impatient by the minute; finally, they decided to ship Paris off to Provo Canyon School in Utah. </p><p>To avoid Paris’s protests, her parents literally arranged for strangers to grab their daughter off her bed in the middle of the night to take her to the school. Paris thought she was getting “kidnapped,” at the time. </p><p>The school itself was the “worst of the worst.” The school operated under rigid structures that didn’t allow any recreation or fun of any kind. Paris said: <br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>There’s no getting out of there. You're sitting on a chair, staring at the wall all day long, getting yelled at or hit. I felt like a lot of the people who worked there got off on torturing children and seeing them naked. </p></blockquote><p>Paris added that the school would prescribe these unknown pills to the students. Paris had no idea what they were for but they made her feel “tired and numb.” When Paris refused to take the pills this one time, she was basically locked in “solitary confinement,” without any clothes for twenty hours straight. <br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>I was freezing, I was starving, I was alone, I was scared [...] It's terrifying, and I relive that every night. I experienced it, and to this day I'm still traumatized [...] They were constantly being abusive in every way. </p></blockquote><p>Paris said that she still suffers from insomnia and nightmares as a result of her experiences at Provo. Furthermore, she began to “hate” her parents for putting her through the whole mess. </p><h2 id="h-her-boyfriend-had-pressured-her-to-make-the-infamous-sex-tape">Her Boyfriend Had Pressured her to Make the Infamous Sex Tape<br/></h2><p>Paris’s early “claim-to-fame” was widely believed to be the sex tape that leaked in 2003. The tape was recorded in 2001 with her ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon. The public’s assumption that Paris herself released the tape to achieve fame couldn’t be further from the truth —the sex tape was released without her consent. <br/></p><p>Paris said she was just eighteen and not in the right “headspace," when she made the choice with Rick. For a girl who’d been so starved of love and appreciation in her life, she wanted to do something that would please her boyfriend and put her in his good graces. She said about the matter:<br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>I was just so in love with him and I wanted to make him happy. I just remember him pulling out the camera, and he was kind of pressuring me into. Like, 'Oh, you're so boring. Do you want me to just call someone else? No one will ever see it.' It was like being electronically raped, and for people to think that I [leaked] it on purpose? </p></blockquote><p>Paris said that if the same occurred today, the reaction wouldn’t have been harsh for her. She wouldn’t have been made to be the “bad person,” or as someone who is fame-hungry. </p><p>The sex-tape incident, in combination with the betrayal of her parents, turned Paris into a perpetually untrusting woman. Over the years, she said she has endured five abusive relationships, some of which turned physically as well as mentally violent. She had even sworn off men for a while. <br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>I was like, ‘He loves me so much that he is going this crazy.’ I just wanted love so bad that I was willing to accept being hit or yelled at or screamed or strangled. A lot of things. </p></blockquote><p>Even now, she has to take a number of precautions to maintain romantic relationships with her partners. First, she said she sets up cameras in her room so she can keep track of what happens when she’s not there. Then, she also gets a new computer every time she has a new beau so they don’t try to break in or threaten her for passwords. </p><h2 id="h-paris-is-focused-on-her-career-and-on-raising-awareness-about-boarding-school-abuse">Paris is Focused on her Career and on Raising Awareness About Boarding School Abuse</h2><p>The latest documentary also sheds light on Paris’s ambitions as she approaches forty. Though her sister Nicky insists that she should be less focused on being “greedy,” Paris is insistent that she wants to be a billionaire, but she definitely does want to become a mother down the line. She said:<br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>I just don't know when I'm going to have time. I will not stop until I make a billion dollars, and then I think I can relax. I know it sounds crazy. I just don't want to have to worry. I don't want to ever have to worry about anything. </p></blockquote><p>The entrepreneur revealed that she’s frozen her eggs, so she does have the option to undertake motherhood at some point in the future. As for the time being, the influencer is dedicating her energies to building her empire through the various projects she’s got in the works. She also wants to raise awareness about Provo Canyon School, which has been slammed with 56 accusations of either physical and sexual assault. She <a href="https://people.com/tv/paris-hilton-opens-up-about-the-secret-terrifying-abuse-she-suffered-as-teen/">told </a><em>PEOPLE</em>:<br/></p><blockquote class="wp-block-quote"><p>I want these places shut down. I want them to be held accountable. And I want to be a voice for children and now adults everywhere who have had similar experiences. I want it to stop for good and I will do whatever I can to make it happen. </p></blockquote><h2 id="h-thinking-in-stereotypes-doesn-t-help-anyone">Thinking in Stereotypes Doesn’t Help Anyone </h2><p>Paris Hilton has often been portrayed as the epitome of the rich, blonde girl who’s had everything spoon-fed to her since birth. Though she grew up privileged in many ways, she too suffered from having negligent parents who didn’t want to truly know or help their daughter. As a result, Paris dreamt of getting out of their shadows and building her own brand. In her worst days at Provo, that’s all she ever dreamed of. </p><p>“Thinking about what I wanted to do and who I wanted to become when I got out of there,” was the mantra that drove her as a young woman. </p><p>The fact she was able to heal and put her life back together despite the obstacles that jumped in her way is remarkable in and of itself. Along the way, she made mistakes, learnt from them but managed to zero in on the big picture. Her story tells us that we should never judge someone based on the stereotypes slapped on them. Paris was never the dumb blonde; she has been a kind, thoughtful, and driven activist that wants to make the world a better place. </p><p>Paris is hardly going to be the last individual with whom we judge based on stereotypes. Therefore, it’s worth remembering that you can’t judge a person without interacting with them or knowing their background or story. </p><p>Everyone’s fighting their own struggles behind the scenes, even the ones we assume to be privileged and fortunate. Perceiving people as who they are, as opposed to what they seem like, doesn’t just go a long way in building more fulfilling, stronger relationships in our life; it helps us spread more compassion as everyone continues to face challenges. </p>

Why You Should Make Environmental Wellness a Priority
Purpose

Why You Should Make Environmental Wellness a Priority

In the midst of our busy lives we rarely stop to think about the world around us, especially the planet we live on. It’s easy to take for granted the air we breathe, the trees that create that air and the fact that we are grounded to this earth by the grace of gravity. It’s important not only to take a moment every now and then to appreciate the earth, but to also be mindful of the way we treat our planet through our daily habits. Ideally, we should all strive to achieve what’s called environmental wellness, which is really a fancy term for striving to live a more sustainable, eco-friendly life.Working toward environmental wellness is a worthy endeavor: Protecting natural resources and living sustainably in our natural environment gives you a sense of pride, helps preserve the Earth for future generations and helps counteract the many effects of climate change. Prioritizing social wellness is important, sure. The same goes for holistic wellness as well as the simple, general concept of wellness. Here’s why you should make environmental wellness a priority in your life, and how you can get started today. What is environmental wellness?Environmental wellness encompasses a number of earth-centric priorities. Planet conscious terms like eco-friendly, environmentally friendly, go green and sustainable living are all different ways of saying environmental wellness. (Getty)The guiding principle is to keep the earth clean and healthy, minimizing our negative impact as much as possible. We are to focus on our relationship with the plant, not just our relationship with others. To achieve environmental wellness, a person should be aware that the planet’s natural resources have limits, honor nature whenever they can and be accountable for their part in making the world a better place from an environmental perspective. As a community, focusing on environmental wellness connects people to each other and to the planet. When we all work together on this common goal, we can feel a sense of pride about the work we are doing to literally make the world a better place for all. Why is environmental wellness important?Of course, environmental wellness is important to the planet. But it’s also good for us, too. There are a number of reasons why being more environmentally aware is important on the individual level, in our communities and to society at large. These are just a few of the ways that environmental wellness can impact people—and the world—for the better. Connects us with natureBeing in community with nature is inherently good for us. Studies have shown that being outside among trees can calm people’s nervous systems and alleviate anxiety. People who exercise outdoors even burn more calories than people who exercise inside. We are meant to be among nature because we are part of it. It can be hard to remember this amid the demands of daily life with our obligations (and devices) competing for our time. But remembering our natural roots is an important element of honoring the planet and achieving environmental wellness. We can’t breathe poor quality air, and we can’t afford to waste Earth’s natural resources. Impacts our healthA healthy Earth creates healthy plants and animals, us included. It should go without saying that working to make sure the air we breathe and the water we drink is clean and safe should be a major priority for all of us. When the planet is sick, people get sick. Limiting our interaction with potentially harmful substances takes a long-term, large-scale effort. Creates less anxiety about climate changeClimate change is a real concern. It’s easy to feel powerless when yet another headline describes how we’re basically all doomed if we keep heading in the direction we’re going. But in such an environment, recognizing that we can make a difference is half the battle. Making changes in your daily habits, even small ones, can help quell those worries when you know that you’re doing your part. Your influence on your family and community can make a difference. Preserves the earth for future generations(Layland Masuda / Getty)While we may not feel all of the effects of climate change in our lifetimes, those who come after use surely will. If you need motivation for living a life that’s focused on environmental wellness, think of your children and grandchildren and all of the people who will inherit the earth when our time has passed. What we do today will impact these people. ​​Supports small businessesWorking toward environmental wellness can impact your local community . When you put into practice habits like buying in-season produce or not shopping online to avoid the environmental toll that shipping packages takes, you can shop locally at local farmers markets and boutique stores, which can have a positive financial impact on the people around you. Sends a clear message to big business When more people collectively care about our environment and the natural world we can spark real change. Supporting local businesses, as well as big brands that care about the planet, allow you to vote with your wallet, causing businesses that aren’t eco-friendly to reevaluate their policies. Environmental wellness examples to incorporate into your life​​When it comes to working toward living a sustainable lifestyle, focus on the little things you can do that can add up to big change. Your daily habits affect the planet and, collectively as a community, when we put environmentally friendly habits into place we can turn the tides of climate change.The following ideas are a good place to start if you’re unsure on what to do to achieve environmental wellness. Choose one or two to get started and then build more habits into your day to day. Spend more time in nature(Andrii Lysenko / Getty)Shift your mindset toward environmental wellness by appreciating the natural world. When you spend time outdoors in nature, you get really clear on why your environmental well being matters. Being outside also helps you live a more balanced lifestyle and allows you to get in touch with the roots of your human nature. Be respectful to your surroundingsWhen you’re out in nature be respectful and mindful of the area around you. If you see litter, pick it up (and of course don’t ever litter yourself). Call the water company if you see a burst pipe and report the damage. Keep animals’ natural habitats intact, whether you’re at the beach or at the park. Treat the earth like your home. (It is, after all.)Limit car useWhenever you can, try to walk or ride your bike to get where you need to go. If your city just isn’t walkable or bikeable, consider using public transit, ridesharing or carpooling. Even if you only do it one day a week, taking a break from your car can go a long way toward keeping harmful gasses out of our air. Reduce wasteThere are a number of ways you can reduce the waste you produce each day. Purchase products in bulk to reduce packaging waste and choose products contained in glass or aluminum so they can actually be recycled when you’re done with them. Swap out single use items for environmentally friendly reusable items (like coffee cups, lunch containers and water bottles). Every little bit counts. Conserve energy by using energy efficient productsWhen your light bulbs and appliances need to be replaced, make sure you buy energy efficient products that conserve natural resources. This can not only save you money on your utility bills, doing so also ensures that we have enough power to go around without excessively harming the planet. Save water(Getty)Water is another natural resource in need of protection and conservation. Turn off the water whenever you don’t really need to have it on, like when you’re brushing your teeth or doing the dishes. Install a recirculation line for your shower so you don’t need to leave the water running for a few minutes before it gets hot. Put out buckets in your yard to catch rainwater. There are many things you can do to ensure that you’re not wasting water (and methods for using it more wisely). Stop using harmful cleaners and chemicalsTo achieve environmental wellness, try eliminating pollutants in your home (and in your outdoor space). Look for natural cleaning products, bug sprays and plant fertilizers that aren’t made with harmful chemicals. (Sprays and aerosols are the top offenders but even topical products applied with a sponge can release chemicals into the air around you.) This not only impacts your immediate space from toxins, it helps the planet at large by reducing the amount of contaminants and pollutants in the air. Finding environmental wellbeingWorking toward environmental wellness will ultimately give you a greater sense of purpose as a human being. As you live a more environmentally aware, balanced lifestyle this helps the future health of the planet. Taking small steps every day to protect natural resources, be mindful of your community and be aware of your personal surroundings ensures that the planet can be a viable home to people, plants and animals for millennia to come.

“The Bullies Did Me a Favour” - Woman Cruelly Bullied for Her Appearance Gets the Last Laugh
Mental Health

“The Bullies Did Me a Favour” - Woman Cruelly Bullied for Her Appearance Gets the Last Laugh

At age 12, Jade Colcombe, a girl from Tonypandy, Wales, was cruelly bullied by her classmates who teased her - and sometimes threatened her - every single day. As her peers spent their time in class, making friends and hitting the books, Jade's life was a living hell. Little did she know that the tables would turn.Torment 101She was taunted and harassed by her fellow classmates and would be told she looked like a man and was made fun of for her 'tomboy' fashion. She recalled to the Daily Mail that it would start right from the opening bell. ''I'd walk into the room and the 'popular' gang would sit and snigger just because I didn't have expensive clothes or wear make-up,'' she said. I was called 'buck-tooth', because of my teeth, 'Dalmatian', because of my beauty spots and 'man' because the hair on my arm was dark and noticeable.- Jade Colcombe"There have been times where I just felt like breaking down and crying."Desperate, she'd skip school and fake illness to avoid the torment. However, when it was clear it wouldn't stop, the straight-A student quit school for a different one. Sadly, the torment continued at her new school, with kids teasing her clothes and calling her ugly. For Colcombe, that was rock bottom."At my lowest point, I refused to talk to anyone because I feared that they would just laugh at me," she admitted. She found a new stageIronically, her family and friends urged Colcombe to enter the 'Miss Radiant Photogenic UK' pageant to help her build up her confidence and prove her haters wrong. With nothing to lose, she entered and, amazingly, won. Just like that, a switch was flipped and a queen was born. Shortly after, Colcombe won the Miss Supermodel Great Britain title at Dream Street's Miss United Kingdom pageant.With that, the quiet girl had found her voice. "For the first time at Miss UK, I actually spoke in front of an audience without getting upset or really nervous about it."Colcombe says that she has one special thank you for her success."To be honest, the bullies did me a favor."And now that I am entering national pageants all over the UK, I really feel like I've beat those bullies and proved them wrong.- Jade ColcombeLean into your greatnessNext up for Colcombe: climbing 19,341-foot Mount Kilimanjaro to raise funds for Noah's Ark - a children's hospital in Wales. The cause holds a special place in her heart: Her little sister Lexi, who has an incurable form of epilepsy, was saved by doctors at the hospital after suffering several seizures. While climbing the world's highest free-standing mountain is a tall task, Colcombe says that she's already conquered the worst. I beat my bullies, so with the support of my family, beating Kilimanjaro should be no problem.- Jade ColcombeNo one should go through what Colcombe did. Sometimes children can be really cruel. However, past that struggle is the giant inside you. With help from family and friends, one timid girl tapped into a force stronger than any taunts or teases, and now she's unstoppable. Whether it's your skin color, weight, or age, don't let anyone make you feel less than the force of nature you are. More uplifting news: “I Truly Feel It Was Fate!”- Childhood Sweethearts Find Each Other On Dating Site 30 Years Later And Get MarriedUngrateful Daughter Throws Mom’s Gift in the Trash – Gets Taught a Harsh LessonPolice Posts Man Who Allegedly Stole Diapers on Facebook – Their Efforts Backfire With Unexpected Response42 Years Ago, Interracial Couple Was Forced To Break Up – Today, They Found Their Way Back To Each Other Look beyond appearancesPhysical beauty is nothing compared to a good heart.

What is the Meaning of Life? An Exploratory Guide
Meditation

What is the Meaning of Life? An Exploratory Guide

Most of us wonder at the meaning of it all now and again, but fewer of us dare speak the question aloud for fear of sounding ridiculous: “What is the meaning of life?” Without an answer to what seems the most pertinent question imaginable, how do human beings know what’s important, or where our focus should lie as we navigate this rocky road of existence? In some ways lift seems so short, yet in other ways also interminable. How should we live meaningful lives? What defines a meaningful existence?One might find humorous or even crass answers to the question at hand. These answers may rely on lighthearted whimsy or be profound philosophical responses, which themselves lead to further questions about human nature and the ultimate meaning in a person’s life. One thing's for sure: the drive to self-actualize is real.Really, one might find answers anywhere, but an answer that works for one person may not work for another. In Monty Python's classic film The Meaning of Life (1983), there are several allusions to life’s meaning, and at the end, a character is handed an envelope containing "the meaning of life,” which she opens and reads out loud to the audience:“Well, it's nothing very special. Uh, try to be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.” Sounds right to me, but how does it sound to you?Living a Meaningful Life: A brief breakdownThere are so many ways of identifying substantial meaning in one’s own life that it becomes very challenging to narrow down. Not to mention, the idea of “meaning” itself can have very different meanings to very different people. To some, it may signify purpose, while to others the question might be more focused on the nature of reality and objective meaning. Ultimately, though, meaning is something generally not agreed upon across the board. For those who do believe an overarching meaning of life can be discerned, however, views typically fall under one of several types. Meaningful Lives: A Spiritual Approach(Wilaipon Pasawat / EyeEm / Getty)Religion acts as a common source of personal meaning in life. This is likely because a person’s religious belief entails involvement in a community of like-minded believers in addition to a set of beliefs. At its core, the basis of most religion is that we, humankind living in this purely physical world, are the creation of an entity known as God, a power that had an intelligent purpose in creating us. While God is unprovable and altogether undebatable, many find the point moot when it comes to discussions of life’s meaning. Why? Because even if God exists and had a specific purpose in creating us, no one knows for certain what God's purpose is, or how it might converse with our own ideas of meaning. That said, many believe simply that ‘doing good’ in life is God’s plan for us, and that those who do are leading lives of meaning that will ultimately be rewarded. Which brings us to the ‘afterlife.’ While some who hold religious beliefs might contend that all this talk about the meaning of life is sort of missing the point, as life is actually just a prelude to a form of eternal afterlife, others might respond differently. Their contention may be that the concept of an afterlife simply serves to displace the problem, creating a new, if not identical question: what is the meaning of the afterlife? Reliance on an afterlife can discourage some from determining meaning or purpose for what may very well be the only life they have. Meaningful Lives: A Science-Based Approach(ferrantraite / Getty)The contributions of modern science to the discussion of life's meaning focus mostly on describing empirical facts about the material world, the observable, physical universe, and exploring the parameters of how physical existence as we know it came to be. While it’s a common belief that science-based worldviews imply life as we know it is a meaningless accident in a universe ultimately indifferent to human existence, recent advances in the study of evolution reveal a bigger picture, which, may, by itself, give meaning to life. Within this bigger picture, humanity is part of a vast evolutionary process within which we have a meaningful role to play. However, because some of us struggle to find meaning within this impersonal understanding of reality, our quest for meaning persists.The science world is broad, however, and includes many disciplines and therefore many lenses through which one might understand meaning. Take psychology: although most psychology researchers consider meaning in life a subjective feeling or judgment, clinical psychologist and professor Paul T. P. Wong proposes that there are also objective, concrete criteria for what constitutes a meaningful life. To this end, he created a 4-component solution (PURE) intended as a tool to help parse out the meaning of life:1.Purpose: We must choose a worthy purpose or a significant goal in our own lives.2. Understanding: We must develop a real understanding of who we are, what life demands of us, and how we can play a significant role in our time here.3. Responsibility: We alone are responsible for deciding what type of life we want to lead, and what constitutes an impactful and/or worthwhile goal to work toward.4. Enjoyment: We can enjoy a profound sense of meaning and personal fulfillment once we have actively harnessed the above components in service of a worthy life goal.Although the above breakdown may work for some, others still may find it too restrictive, too ambiguous, or difficult to apply to all of humanity given the gamut of human experience. Human Beings and Mystery as Meaning(Jonathan Knowles / Getty)The sixth-century Chinese sage Lao Tzu is said to have dictated the Tao Te Ching before escaping civilization for a life of reclusiveness in the mountains. He believed that the universe actually supplies what value humanity possesses. Tzu would argue that goals are insignificant, and that accomplishments do not imbue our lives with meaning. He suggests that simply being a product of the world means living a meaningful life; no effort is required. Tzu proposes a deeper understanding of existence itself, which is mysterious by nature. Much like oceans or trees, humans are part of “the way,” which is made up of all things, and makes up all things, and cannot ever truly be known or spoken about. This is a perspective founded on the belief that life is not comprehensible, but that this doesn't make it any less meaningful: whatever station one occupies in life, it matters, because we exist within and among the living, a small yet important piece in an enduring and incomprehensible chain of existence. While Tzu acknowledges that life can be brutal at times, he proposes that meaning comes from our will to persevere. As the Tao says, “One who persists is a person of purpose.”We Create Our Own Meaning in Life(Westend61 / Getty)Famed American Lit Professor Joseph Campbell put it this way: “Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.” Ultimately, one thing seems clear: the meaning of life as a human being is that which you choose to give it. But the question still remains: how do we choose?Regardless of the answer that anchors you to this earthly plain and allows you to go about the business of being human in the day-to-day, only one thing’s for certain: when attempting to unravel a notion as lofty the meaning of life, there are bound to be as many right answers as there are truth seekers out there.For those who feel at a loss, professor and philosopher Iddo Landau Landau suggests a ‘reframing.' He writes, “A meaningful life is one in which there is a sufficient number of aspects of sufficient value, and a meaningless life is one in which there is not a sufficient number of aspects of sufficient value.” Basically, he’s saying meaning can be boiled down to an equation of sorts, and that when we add or subtract aspects of value, we experience more or less meaning. By this logic, if you feel a lack of meaning in your work, you might still find meaning in relationships, travel, or creative endeavors—to name just a few. It may also be the case, of course, that the life you live is already meaningful, but that you’re not valuing that which is worth valuing because you’re fixated on predetermined ideas of meaning (i.e. having children, or getting promoted).Ultimately, it is the temporary nature of human life that gives it shape and purpose. Within a limited timeframe, one might say the meaning of life is to live life meaningfully. Sick of the riddles yet? Maybe it’s time for some loose instruction.How to Find the Meaning of Your Life(Mike Powell / Getty)Rather than asking yourself why you’re here on earth and what exactly it is you’re supposed to be doing, consider drawing inspiration from the following action tips to make your experiences the answer to your queries and put some meaning back in your life.1. Practice HappinessWe’ve all heard the theory that happiness is a choice, even if it sounds trite. Ultimately, however, it is a choice, and the good news is that happiness, believe it or not, can be practiced by anyone regardless of their circumstances. The reality is we are all capable of unlearning certain basic tenets, becoming less reactive to the events of life, and having more control over how we choose to feel, regardless of what comes our way. No one’s saying you should be happy all the time, or force anything that you don’t feel, but cultivating a sense of calm and stability can go a long way toward a feeling of happiness with one’s life.2. See Your Natural Gifts as OpportunitiesWhile not everyone has an undeniable talent that surfaces at a young age and serves to illuminate a clear path forward, discovering where your gifts or talents may lie, even later in life, can give meaning and purpose to your existence. If you feel in the dark about your talents, it may take a little digging. Ask yourself: What comes naturally to you? What are you doing or experiencing when you feel at your best? How do you like to help or engage with others? If you keep asking, answers will come.3. Cultivate Meaningful Relationships With OthersAs we slowly make our way out of the restricting hold of a global pandemic, this one has special meaning. Whether in person or not, carve out time to spend with people that make your life fuller and who lift you up rather than drag you down. (Getty)This might be partners, friends, colleagues, or family. Sometimes it's necessary to ‘cut out’ people who consistently drain your energy or are always bringing negative vibes. The reality is, we are affected by those whose company we keep, whether we see it or not. Your outlook, and your general experience of life can either be enhanced by the people in your life, or obscured. Start tuning in to how you feel around others and make adjustments as needed.4. Set Goals and Stick to ThemAs a general rule, having a plan brings meaning to life. While being overly focused on goals or setting goals you can't attain doesn’t do anyone any good, it does help to have goals, along with a plan for achieving them—even if it’s a long term plan. Regardless of what it is, make sure it’s something that excites you, or that you actually want to do, rather than something you feel you should accomplish: when setting goals, it’s always important to check your narrative! Start by writing down your goals, and then, most importantly, goal setting.5. Do What You Can to Help OthersHelping others comes in many forms. If you've ever done the kind of work that serves the underserved, or simply stopped in the street to help someone who looked a little down on their luck, you probably know that helping others feels good and right, and can even instill a sense of self-worth or purpose. If we make space in our lives to think about others and cultivate generosity of spirit—either by giving of our time, money, or energy—this is a worthy meaning of a human life.6. Abandon Your Routine Now and ThenThe universe is brimming with possibilities, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes in the day-to-day. While there is certainly value in rhythm and routine, there is also huge value in shaking things up now and then. Every so often, depending on your circumstances, it might behoove you to do something different which will help you gain a refreshed perspective, like taking a spontaneous day-long road trip, going to the movies alone, staying at a hotel in your own hometown, or planning a day of zero obligations. (Anupong Sakoolchai / Getty)Although it may seem that ‘you don’t have the time’ for that sort of thing, occasionally abandoning your routine gives you a break from the expected and helps to highlight those experiences in life which matter most.7. Target Habits and AddictionsWe all have addictions--some more serious than others. Whether its TV, social media, cigarettes, alcohol, sugar, or anger, challenge yourself to going without it for a week—this might be quite painful and involve some real soul-searching, but where there’s a will, you'll succeed in making more space for deeper meaning in your life by letting go of that which no longer serves you. How will you fill your newly freed up time? What meaning will it hold?8. Do That Thing You've Always Wanted to Do but Haven'tAlmost everybody has a thing they really want to do that they haven’t done, even if they haven't told a soul about it. What’s that thing you always think about doing but which you’ve talked yourself out of or put off to some unforeseeable time in ‘the future’? What would you say if I told you that the future is now? Start by identifying what it is you're going to do, and then—go do it, simply. If this is really not possible within the current parameters of your life, begin working toward this big event, whether that means saving money, learning a skill, or doing whatever else needs doing to make it a reality. The first step is often the most difficult.9. Find a Purpose You Can Live WithOne of the most enriching and freeing and meaningful things you can do in this life is find your purpose. Your purpose is what makes you feel most alive, what drives you to be better, what gets you out of bed in the morning, what gives you energy to keep on living. This is what life is about, after all: finding out what you can contribute and following through.In Conclusion(Henglein and Steets / Getty)Anyone who feels their life is meaningless is asking the wrong questions and getting the wrong answers to boot. The feeling of meaninglessness is based on a failure to recognize what actually matters, instead becoming fixated on what might be missing. What is really most important to you? How will you harness its magic to fill your life with meaning? Everything you need is inside of you right now.

The Sunk Cost Fallacy: Understanding Sunk Costs
Purpose

The Sunk Cost Fallacy: Understanding Sunk Costs

Picture the scene: it’s a Wednesday night, it’s raining outside and you feel like you’re coming down with a cold. However, you’ve spent money on tickets to see a band you’ve wanted to see for a while – what do you do? You could swerve the gig. It’s probably best if you stay in anyway, so you can feel better over the next few days. Plus, the weather is looking bleak as it is. So why can’t you ignore that annoying voice in your head telling you to go? You find yourself lugging your way out of bed, away from the TV and on your way to an event that you don’t really want to go to, afraid to throw good money away. Even though you paid for the tickets ages ago, and the money is no longer going to be a factor, you put on a brave face and try to “enjoy” the band regardless. This is what’s known as the sunk cost fallacy.Sunk cost fallacy definitionThe sunk cost fallacy is a curious aspect of behavioral decision making, the act of continuing to pursue an outcome based solely on a previous investment rather than using more rational decisions. This investment could be time, money or effort, although the most common tend to be monetary, as this is more directly accountable. Natural human decision processes make it hard to ignore sunk costsWhen we concede to sunk costs we focus on the input rather than the output. Despite making the initial investment to achieve a bigger gain, when variables change we set aside this clarity and hold our nerve based solely on the initial investment made as a form of perceived loss aversion. Whether we are aware of it or not, the cost has already “sunk” meaning that the outcome of your investment is no longer dependent on it. By focusing on what we have put in when it’s already gone, rather than what we get out, we can become blind-sided and risk not achieving a positive outcome at all. And the desire to avoid negative emotions related to sunk costs doesn’t just affect the decision making process of individuals. We see this kind of thinking on a larger scale as well; it is evident in national economic behavior, in decisions by companies to remain committed to outdated products or strategies, and even entire societies fall victim to irrational decisions. Examples of the sunk cost effectThe new invention of cryptocurrency has made it easier than ever for the general public to make investments without even knowing what they are buying. Say you invest $500 in the hope that it will double, you may find that it is tempting to hold out even if your investment begins to tumble. You may then be further in than you can afford, but you still believe that you cannot withdraw your money. A similar example is when companies continue to buy new pieces of equipment, machinery or put money into advertising campaigns. Those that study organizational behavior see that, typically, there are bigger investments at stake, investors to please and potential profits to be made. But this can still make it difficult for corporations to back out of these when the predicted outcomes change and a focus may shift to “make it work”. It’s not always about moneySunk costs do not always have to be monetary either, they can also relate to other factors such as time and effort. For instance, some people may stay in a relationship for years purely because of the significant amount of time they have spent with each other. If two people are not right for each other, then it is easy to succumb to the sunk cost as a reason to stay together. (Dmitry Belyaev / Getty)The same applies to the likes of education or careers. Continuing on a course or in a job that you no longer enjoy or see a future in can be an easy trap to fall into the further you pursue it. The amount of physical, mental and emotional effort invested in a venture like a university degree or starting a new career is huge and this is magnified at a younger age where experience and money are typically harder to come by. Why do we fall for the sunk cost fallacy?In a word: emotion. You may have heard hard-nosed business folk say “leave your emotions at the door” when speaking about investments and this applies to the sunk cost fallacy. As humans we are conditioned to assess risk in order to survive, however as part of this we can end up attaching ourselves to these same risk factors even once they have passed.When we spend significant time, money and effort on something we are emotionally invested as we know that this has an impact on our future. Despite the fact we may end up with a positive outcome, it is difficult to get past the potential negative effect. It is this weight on our mind that prevents us from remembering why we made that investment in the first place.How do you avoid sunk costs?To gain the best outcome for our investments, the most important thing is to recognise the signs of potential sunk costs. It’s likely that the majority of us have at least one example of a sunk cost in our lives, so here are a few tips to help you minimise your exposure: Getting feedbackWithout realising, you may attach yourself emotionally to investments that you make or are responsible for. As a result you could find yourself blindsided to try and prove a point to ourselves or others. This can ultimately distract us from the original purpose of the investment. To avoid this it’s crucial to gather feedback from others to help you. Not one person can know everything, so seek advice from a third party to help validate or correct a decision before you make an investment. Make sure to remain objective when requesting and receiving feedback as any further emotion could cloud your judgement. In a professional setting it may help to do this anonymously, whereas in a more personal investment it may be better to do this in private to avoid any external bias.Better still, data is your best friend. Even your most trusted circle may not be able to give you the best advice possible, so dig into the details and use this to spot the signs of when to get in or out. This could be analysing market trends or even just calculating your monthly outgoings – either way the numbers can’t lie. Cultivating new habitsIf you find yourself regularly regretting going to events or throwing good money away you could be falling into the sunk-cost fallacy. To make changes, first recognise what these habits are and identify the patterns. Most importantly at this moment make sure to not fall for the fallacy once again! Through this process of introspection it can be daunting to acknowledge and appreciate our problem. You may find yourself saying “that’s just who I am” or “I won’t ever be able to change”, but this is by virtue the root of the problem. Everyone is capable of bettering themselves, so don’t let old habits die hard.Once you have identified these patterns the causes and solutions will become much clearer. These may not always be the easiest to action, you may have to cut down your spending or perhaps be a bit more assertive in a relationship, but by tackling this head on you can achieve a better outcome. Make sure to reflect on past situations where things have panned out differently and use these as reference points. Each time that you make these new actions you are taking a step closer to becoming the best version of yourself, so remind yourself of the hard work that you have done to stop yourself becoming overwhelmed. Fail fastIt’s not always possible to avoid the sunk cost fallacy, so it’s important to at least fail fast. Failing may seem like a negative term, but really it should be a synonym for trying. Without taking risks in life we are unable to learn and grow as humans, however it’s better to fail, learn and move on quickly if you are going to take a risk.This is especially important for businesses and entrepreneurs when accounting for costs or proving new concepts. It can feel tempting to “make it work” when you have made an investment but make sure to recognise when a cost is sunk. Balance the output vs the input and make a rational decision on your next steps. Better still, cover your down-side before making the initial investment so that you have something to fall back on if the original plan doesn’t go through. This could be a case of having a contingency budget or taking out insurance in order to help alleviate some of the impact. Learn, adapt, improve and do it quickly. The most successful people in the world are able to look inwardly at themselves and have the integrity to know when they have made a mistake. This helps them stay ahead of themselves and even their competition. Dealing with sunk costs and future costsHindsight may be a wonderful thing, but it isn’t always possible to avoid sunk costs. Through the sunk cost fallacy, you may find yourself emotionally absorbed with past decisions and that can take a real toll on your mental and physical health. It happens to everyoneFirstly, remember that even the best businesspeople, governments, celebrities and likely a lot of your own friends and family have fallen into the sunk cost fallacy at least once in their lives, so you are not alone. Remind yourself that however seemingly impossible it may seem to get out of a sunk cost, acceptance is the first step towards growth.From here it is key to think practically. Ask yourself what are the immediate factors that I can control or influence? Who can I ask for help in this situation? What are the steps that I need to take to get to a positive outcome? Ensure that you keep momentum by taking a breath before you act. Even a minor pause and internal countdown can help process your actions and make them more effective. Meditation can help with this by focusing the mind and enabling self-awareness. At each step in your journey acknowledge how far you have come and remind yourself of why you are doing something rather than how you are going to do it. Dust yourself off and give yourself gratitude for taking positive action, and when it gets too much practice some stress relief techniques such as exercising, journaling and even just putting down your phone for a while.Selflessness vs selfishnessFor anyone who describes themselves as an empath, saying no can be a terrifying prospect. Unfortunately, this can also be a big cause for sunk costs. You may have spent years agreeing to plans, opinions and investments to pacify others, but this can become overbearing and distract you from achieving what you set out to. In this scenario it’s important to separate selfishness from selfless behaviour. Despite good intentions, not saying no may actually be more selfish than it is selfless. Let’s say that a friend invites you to a dinner party that you know you aren’t able to attend. You accept the invitation and go to the dinner, having to sacrifice your other plans. You may feel resentment towards your friend for ruining your plans and tell yourself you were “just trying to make them happy”, when in reality it would have been better for all parties involved to say no to the invitation.(cnicbc / Getty)Be clear with your intentions from the output and this will make it easier to say no. There is always the potential for it to feel awkward and to upset others in the process, however continuing old habits to appease others will only cause more damage in the long run. Make sure to acknowledge and reference previous experiences of when this has worked as this will enable you to deliver the news in the correct manner.In conclusionOpportunity is a wonderful and exciting thing. It’s why we buy lottery tickets, go on new adventures and commit ourselves to others. However, no one teaches you to stop giving when you don’t need to anymore. Unless you were born an accountant, economist or risk-analyst you’re probably less likely to know how to listen to the rational voice in your head.It’s perfectly fine to make mistakes, if anything it’s a fantastic quality about us as humans. But to truly unlock the best qualities in ourselves we need to acknowledge these mistakes and make the tough decisions to go down the new track.

Achieving Resilience: The Importance of Bouncing Back
Emotional Health

Achieving Resilience: The Importance of Bouncing Back

Never forget that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Think of everything you have accomplished in life thus far, from graduating high school or college, to meeting a new friend when you were feeling shy, to passing your driver’s test, to getting a compliment from a co-worker for a job well done. The going gets tough, but you are tougher. You are resilient as Rocky Balboa—and if you have moments when you don’t believe that, give yourself that positive message anyway. There’s power in manifestation and self-assurance.Breaking down the definitionThe American Psychological Association defines resilience as “the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.”In other words, the word resilience refers to one’s ability to emotionally and even physically “bounce back” after a trauma or upsetting era in their lives. In this article, we’re focusing on one’s psychological resilience and emotional resilience, and less on physical resilience. “Resilience is a personality trait that can be improved and it’s related to a plethora of positive outcomes,” explains Tyreese R. McAllister, LPC, CSOTP, a licensed mental health practitioner. “Resilience in general is a skillset that can be learned; it’s often built by exposure to very challenging, but manageable experiences.”The point is, it is not innate - you have to develop resilience over time. You’re not just born a superhero who never gets upset. That sounds like an amazing trait to have, but, like everyone else, you are human and need to work on your own individual resiliency; step-by-step. You must hone your mental toughness and develop coping skills to help overcome adversity and improve self-esteem. (Edwin Tan / Getty)Bouncing backHow come some people seem to focus on the “positive” – or “bounce back” -- better than others do? Why do some people wallow, mope, and feel distracted all day using unhealthy coping mechanisms for what seems months on end, when, in contrast, others can (seemingly) move on from a stressful or sad situation with ease? How can we encourage resilience within ourselves?Questions like these are why resilience is a popular topic of discussion among therapists and non-therapists alike. That’s because resilience is an essential life skill that demonstrates your psychological strength and ability to roll with the punches.Building resilience is indeed something you can achieve—and maintain. Just believe in one thing first—yourself—and be open to learning every lesson life teaches you. After all, a common quote so many people love and even hang on their walls at home is: “One thing I’ve learned about life? It moves on.”Learning from othersResilience is contagious—no, not like catching a cold from someone! It’s contagious because if you’re going through a traumatic situation, such as an unexpected job loss after 10 years, you may ponder: what would my emotionally strongest friend do in this situation? How would they handle the blow to self-esteem and emotional pain and emerge from the shock and sadness with a smile, great attitude, and eagerness to seek new employment opportunities? Oftentimes, we are encouraged to not compare ourselves to others; that you never know what internal battles some are facing. But overall, it’s accepted in society and by mental health experts to allow others to motivate and inspire you. In that way resilience truly is contagious!Keeping itResiliency is impressive—to yourself, and to others, who (if not jealous) are inspired by your ability to handle emotional pain, and even break down, personal trauma. Thus, many hope to embolden their psychological strength and emotional resistance. It plays a role in how we deal with tragedies and difficult situations.“The more resilient we are, the more we can handle,” says Dr. Renee Solomon, CEO Forward Recovery. “We build resilience by seeing how we get ourselves through difficult situations and by having a strong support system. If we feel that we have people surrounding us and supporting us, we feel more resilient. Perception is reality so if we think we can handle something and perceive it that way, then we can.”There are many inspirational true-life stories that combine resilience with forgiveness. When going through a tough time, we view these people and their resilience through our own eyes and help to find inner peace. The art of finding inner peaceWhen the mother of a teenage school shooter in Colorado was grieving for her own son, the tragedy overall, and battling PTSD due to being the mother of a school shooter, she found the courage to do something very rare—and brave. She found the psychological strength to reach out to the victim’s families rather than hide away and pretend the tragedy never occurred. She wrote letters to the parents of every teen victim her own son gunned down, deeply apologizing for her son’s actions, and offering emotional support. She was well-aware these families will never have their child back—but she wanted to let them know she was there for them.(Eerik / Getty)In turn, many parents who received these letters dove into their souls, and decided, to heal, they needed to forgive. They needed to bounce back emotionally as best as they could. They befriended the mother who reached out to them and sparked up a genuine friendship to work through their emotional pain together. This type of resilience—in this case, the ability to forgive the mother of the teenager who murdered their own child—inspired so many families nationwide. It was an amazing demonstration of the healing resilient people can achieve through the human capacity of forgiveness. It showed once you’re emotionally strong enough, and emotionally ready, you can tap into your inner strength to guide you through the rest of your life, despite the tragedy and emotional pain your family endured. The psychology of mental strengthAs stated by the APA Help Center’s (n.d.): “Research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. People commonly demonstrate resilience.”You’re resilient daily and don’t even know it. Let’s imagine you’re driving to work, in traffic, and can’t find a parking spot close to the office. It’s pouring and you forgot your umbrella. Bummers all around. But you take a deep breath, park two blocks away, and race in the rain to the office. Fine, you’re a bit late, and drenched, but you made it in. Is it an ideal situation? No. But hey—you did it! You showed resilience through your coping skills; you didn’t let the circumstances out of your control (lack of parking; rain…) ruin your whole day and your mood. Kudos!It took some mental strength and emotional resistance to get to work that day. It may seem like a minor thing in the grand scheme of things, but for some people, the simple act of getting from point A (home) to Point B (work) through these nuisances, en route to their destination is just too daunting to even attempt. (And they may handle a different series of circumstances easier than you may.)Let’s clear up a big misconception: resilience isn’t about coasting through life’s many challenges unscathed. Nobody, not one person on earth, has a perfect life with no stressful or upsetting situations. While we face daily annoyances, we also face tragedies such as death and injury.Resilience centers on experiencing all the distressing curveballs that life tosses at you and thrive without resorting to unhealthy coping strategies or succumbing to mental health conditions. Easier said than done, for sure. But not impossible, as long as you have the sort of self regulation skills you need to move forward.Tackling emotional distressDeveloping resilience comes from handling pain and psychological distress. They’ll teach you a lot about how to be mentally tough over time, and how to handle everyday challenges and tamp down negative emotions.According to Medical News Today, emotional pain is a state of mental anguish that can take a wide variety of forms. It may result from a mental health issue or life event such as relationship difficulties or financial strain.And psychological distress, according to BMC Public Health/Springer is: non-specific symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression. High levels of psychological distress are indicative of impaired mental health and may reflect common mental disorders, like depressive and anxiety disorders.An individual trying to improve their resilience may acknowledge they’ve struggled in the past with anxiety disorders, so this time around, when there is a setback, they’ll do whatever they need to—spend time with close friends; go for a jog around a pond—to prevent triggering a panic attack or a bout of depression.How do we tap into and build resilience?(FG Trade / Getty)“Optimism is a strategy found in resilient people,” says Tyree. “Spiritual beliefs, emotional intelligence, cognitive and emotional flexibility and social connectedness are also found in individuals said to be resilient.” “Resilient people are those who do not dwell on the negative, and instinctively look for opportunities to grow despite their bad experience,” adds Tyree. “The best way to strengthen one's resilience is to find a sense of purpose. When my daughter was killed, I began a foundation in her honor to address gun violence.”How self-learned resilience worksSelf-learned resilience is the resilience you build within yourself. It involves being self-aware, and not being afraid to learn from distressing situations. It involves developing coping and problem solving skills through mindfulness and building psychological strength.Every day of our lives is different—even if on boring days it doesn’t seem that way! Truthfully, we have no clue how our lives will turn out, we just have to live life day by day. Everyone experiences ups—such as finding a $20 bill in an old purse or losing 30 lbs after an obesity diagnosis—these little (and big!) events should be celebrated. On the flip side, life also has downs, such as having a misunderstanding with a close friend, to more traumatic events like the death of a loved one, a severe car accident, or even an unexpected health diagnosis that shakes you to the core. Never forget some situations that are stressful are out of your control—such as a thunderstorm on your wedding day or learning a beloved family member is sick. In a way, it’s reassuring when you zero in on the fact that most ‘down’ moments are not something you can change—at all—or control. So—you learn how to cope with these ‘down’ moments.What you can and cannot controlWhen faced with a crisis or problem, it can be easy to get overwhelmed by situations that feel far beyond your control. Instead of wishing you had a glittery magic wand to change things (and how cool would that be?!) focus only on the things that can change, or some up with a few scenarios in your head. It’s great to encourage kids to develop this form of coping skill by coming up with a solution to a potential problem in advance. Let’s say, for example, your child doesn’t hit a home run in Little League that day. Instead of brushing off their upset feelings with a brusque comment such as, “Better luck next time,” perhaps say: “You did wonderful! You caught the ball in the outfield twice during the first inning! How about you hit some balls in the yard tonight with uncle Jay? Maybe he can give you some pointers!” Children develop resilience by coming up with a solution to a problem and discussing that solution, which helps them with building resilience and confidence at the same time, a true act of early self discovery.Whether you’re a child or an adult, to help build your own resilience, never hesitate to consult with a therapist. They’re trained in helping you find solutions to stressful situations to move on with life with a bit more ease.Just remember—you are never alone. We’re all fighting some type of emotional battle that’s upsetting, whether it’s internal (you’re mourning the loss of a beloved friend) or external (The offer you put in on a dream condo wasn’t accepted.) “We will always experience hardship in life. The question is what we do with it and how we learn how to cope with it,” says Dr. Solomon. “Your journey to the path of resilience is shaped by the emotional pain you’ve dealt with and processed over the years. Of course, certain factors might make some people emotionally more resilient than others.”A positive outlook can take you far in life. There’s an expression, “Fake it till you make it.” And before you roll your eyes at yet another “Look at the glass as half-full…” anecdote, realize that experts who have studied human emotions for decades conclude that those with a more positive life outlook can ‘roll’ through tough experiences with more resilience—especially if they’ve built it up over the years; and really zeroed in on what life lessons taught them. For example, Hurricane Irma wiped out thousands of homes and caused tons of property damage in Florida, Puerto Rico, and the US Virgin Isles. This was a devastating natural disaster that also resulted in many deaths. To this day, it’s noted as one of the worst hurricanes—along with Hurricane Katrina—on U.S. land.But people came together from all over the world to help those who lost their homes; bringing food, shelter, supplies, and even offering up their medical expertise. There can be prosperity and “good” out of sadness and trauma. That’s because the human spirit is resilient.Thanks to financial support from government and businesses, lots of emotional support for families suffering, and just the resiliency of the human spirit, Florida, Puerto Rico, and the US Virgin Isles “bounced back” from that frightening hurricane. It took a few years, but they rebuilt, reconstructed, and came back even stronger.And you can too.“In the face of crisis or tragedy, finding a sense of purpose can play an important role in your recovery. This might mean becoming involved in your community, cultivating your spirituality, or participating in activities that are meaningful to you,” says Tyreese R. McAllister, a mental health counselor. Embrace change(SementsovaLesia / Getty)Resilient people often utilize these events as an opportunity to branch out in new directions. While some people may be crushed by abrupt changes, highly resilient individuals are able to adapt and thrive.When you're stressed, it can be all too easy to neglect your own needs. Losing your appetite, ignoring exercise, and not getting enough sleep are all common reactions to a crisis situation. Instead, focus on building your self-nurturance skills, even when you are troubled. Make time for activities that you enjoy.By taking care of your own needs, you can boost your overall health and resilience and be fully ready to face life's challenges.Research suggests that people who are best able to come up with solutions to a problem are better able to cope with those problems than those who cannot. Whenever you encounter a new challenge, make a quick list of some of the potential ways you could solve the problem.Bouncing back from psychological distress(Povozniuk / Getty)Here’s a truth bomb: It’s NOT easy to just bounce back. You can think life is going wonderfully, then suddenly you’re in a serious car accident (not that we are wishing any tragedies on you…) or you lose your job unexpectedly. Most people won’t wake up the next day with a huge smile and think, “Oh, no big deal.” It IS a big deal…and sometimes when you’re going through psychological distress, you need extra help to get through the crushing emotions.“It is always difficult to bounce back from a tragedy. It usually requires time, understanding, distraction and a solid support system,” explains Dr. Ruth Solomon. “Time refers to having distance from the tragic event. People tend to feel better as there is more space from the event. It helps people heal and move forward as they don’t think about it every day as they did in the beginning.”After we process the event, says Dr. Solomon, “we need to be distracted so we don’t stew in our pain. Distraction can be any activity or activities that we find pleasurable such as exercise, artistic expression, or watching comedy.”Conclusion(urbazon / Getty)Life has its ups and downs—recognizing and acknowledging that is the first step is increasing your resilience. Find solutions to the problems, work your darn hardest on staying positive, turn to supportive family and friends, and don’t hesitate to seek professional help. “Engaging in self-care practices prior to traumatic events help individuals have established practices that they can engage in easily when traumatic events occur,” says mental health professional Tyreese R. McAllister. “Engaging in self-care, boosts overall health and resilience.”Don’t be so hard on yourself when bad things happen. Being upset and trying to process your emotions makes you, YOU. surround yourself with people who make you feel loved and special.Oh—and be kind to yourself. And after all—you’re only human.

A Comprehensive Guide to Time Management
Mindset

A Comprehensive Guide to Time Management

Learning to manage time effectively is important, and can help you in your personal life, at work, and many other areas of your life. But what is it exactly, and how can you incorporate effective time management practices into your life? Let’s start with the basics.Time Management 101Time management is the process of organizing and planning the way you go about accomplishing multiple tasks during your day. (PeopleImages / Getty)Good time management enables you to gain a clearer understanding of what you set out to achieve and why it’s important, so you can stay focused and motivated, working smarter, not harder. Most people either have good, mediocre, or poor time management skills. Managing Time Effectively: The Good, the Bad, and the UglyGood time management leads to a happier and more productive day, allowing you to focus on the specific tasks that are more important, and avoid time wasters, missed deadlines, ultimately resulting in less stress. Because time management is an important aspect of project management, it is especially useful at work, and can help burnish your professional reputation over time. When used at home, it can help you streamline your day, and carve out the ever-important “me time,” allowing you to relax and enjoy time with your family. Having mediocre time management skills means that you may feel like you’re always racing from between tasks, without a moment of pause. You may feel stressed about how much you have to do and how little time you have to do it, and may indicate that you are misjudging a task’s importance, perhaps trying to complete tasks on your task list that are relatively unimportant, instead of checking off the items on your list that bring the most value to your daily life. (Peter Cade / Getty)Having poor time management skills means you may be known as the friend or family member that is always running late, or someone that can’t plan ahead. You may not use to do lists, and likely have trouble taking control of complex situations. Those around you may feel you should never be trusted to deliver work on time, or be in charge of a big project at work or important tasks at home. You may show up late to work because the morning got away from you or you may not be able to work efficiently enough to hold some fast-paced jobs. If this is you, there is room for change! Time management skills can help turn the tables for you.Benefits of Time Management SkillsIf you’re not so good at managing your time, don’t worry, it’s not time to panic. These skills can be learned and practiced, and even perfected! There are many time management tips that can help you save time and complete even the smaller tasks on your list.However, before getting into the “how” of managing time, you should know what you’re working for, and how putting on the project manager hat can help you eliminate much of the wasted time currently in your schedule. Putting a little effort into developing better time management skills can help you in the following ways:Increased Productivity You get more accomplished when you’re not switching randomly between tasks. When you know clearly what you’re doing in the near future and what’s expected of you, you can really get into a workflow and knock off some tasks from your list. You might even find what is called the “flow state”, that beautiful feeling when creativity and output reach their maximum potential, and you just work without second guessing. You type without back-spacing, you read without stuttering, you get through a book chapter in one-setting and remember its entire contents. Flow is the best state for working and it can only happen when time is managed effectively. Stress Reduction & PreventionTime management helps you work smarter, lowers stress levels, and creates the opportunity to use your most valuable nonrenewable resource (time) more wisely. This is stress-relieving on so many levels! Not only are you not wasting time but you’re also making the most of what you have! Plus, time management means prioritizing the most important tasks first, and avoid the feeling of things getting out of control or being chaotic. Being able to visualize your tasks and accomplishments and manage your time helps you avoid feeling stressed about missing something, forgetting something, or not working hard enough. Meet Deadlines and Make Dreams a RealityPeople who struggle with managing their time effectively are quite obviously more prone to missing deadlines, which can set them back on their personal and professional goals. When you want to meet a goal and manage your time effectively, you often need to break larger tasks into smaller components. It helps keep yourself focused and motivated. If you can’t meet small goals, you can’t move forward to building a reality from your dreams. It’s just that simple. How to Manage Time Like a ProIsn’t time just something that ticks away, and we have no control over it? Yes and no. It’s true that time is something that ticks away whether we want it to or not, and that part of life we have no control over. But it’s wrong to assume we’re passive bystanders in this process. Remember that this is your life and your time. Ultimately you do get to decide how you spend your 24 hours. (izusek / Getty)And this is where we begin. Learning how to manage time requires some self-inventory of where you’re currently spending it. In this way, it is helpful for some to think about time like money with one small exception because you can always make more money. Once time is gone, though, it’s gone forever. Tracking your own time managementSeeing where your time is currently being spent is necessary in the process of figuring out how to manage time more effectively.If you have a sleep tracker, exercise tracker, or other behavioral tracking device, now’s the time to pull up its data. Even without it, you can make estimates based on where you spend most of your time and what your top priorities are. Jot down time spent doing the following in hours or minutes. There are 24 hours in a day which equals 1440 minutes.Sleeping (including getting ready for bed)Eating Grooming AKA getting ready (brushing teeth, bathing, hairdoing)Cleaning Caregiving AKA care work (children and family or friends)Working for the labor marketIf you are someone with regular habits and hobbies, you will want to jot down any time spent on these as well. For example, if you smoke or vape, take notice of how long you’re actually spending (this can especially help when you’re working on quitting). All you do is time yourself each session from start to finish. It can be difficult to take that level of accountability because most of the time when we have unhealthy habits, we don’t want to know how much time is being spent since we intuitively know it's a lot. There’s no shame in a starting point, though. That’s why it’s called that!There is power in knowing the real numbers, though. And in all honesty, you can’t make a successful budget with false information. Imagine budgeting your monthly income each month and not taking into account the financial cost of your habits. You’re not going to get very far ahead that way.Succeeding requires being honest with yourself.Jotting down how much time you’re spending on certain habits (this can include other things like online gaming, gambling, watching adult videos, drinking alcohol, etc.) is an act of holding yourself accountable so you can actually develop good time management skills in the very near future. How Does Your Time Management Compare to Others?The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention analyzed data from over 32,000 respondents (15 years and older) from 2014-2016. Participants categorized and recorded every activity during a 24-period. Here’s what they found about how much people worked and how much free time people had each day (ie., their time management).“Work” in the study is considered the essential activities like:Paid work in the labor marketHome-based work: Taking care of children and family, cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc. Essential self-care: Eating, sleeping, grooming“Free time” in the study is considered everything outside of the “have to do” tasks we all have to accomplish whether we like it or not. Free time examples include:Socializing (including social media)EntertainmentSports and recreation (including exercise)VolunteeringReligious activitiesEducation for personal interestTraveling for leisureHere’s what they found out about the average person’s daily tasks and time management. Non-Leisure or “Work” TimeWomen: 18 hours and 42 minutesMen: 18 hours and 4 minutesLeisure TimeWomen: 5 hours and 18 minutesMen: 5 hours and 56 minutesYou May Have More Time Than You Realize Five hours? Who has five hours? You probably do! The results of the analysis include that no subgroup in the study reported having less than 4.5 hours of free time. That’s 270 minutes a day on average of “free time” per person. Those with highschool education and those living far below the federal poverty line (185%) demonstrated more free time (spent on television, movies, screen time).Even if you don’t have five hours (which you’ll only know after doing the time budgeting exercise above), everyone can take back 30 minutes in their day. Look for minutes you can take back every time you touch your phone (especially when in restrooms) and whenever you find yourself watching television, overthinking, and doing household tasks. (courtneyk / Getty)Still think you can’t afford it? Consider the famous quote by philosopher Seneca:“No person hands out their money to passersby, but to how many do each of us hand out our lives! We’re tightfisted with property and money, yet think too little of wasting time, the one thing about which we should all be the toughest misers.”If philosophy isn’t your thing, consider that the average expected American lifespan in 2016 was about 79 years (which is actually several years higher than a baby born in 1980, with the exact difference depending on state location). That’s 28,835 (unguaranteed) extra days.You want to make sure you’re doing everything in your power to use that time effectively so you have more time to do the things you love. What Does Good Time Management Look Like?When you practice good time management skills, life is much less of a juggling act and much more of a smooth ride. Starting to think about time management in terms of days, weeks, months, and years will help you break things down into more manageable pieces. Daily time management looks like:Setting daily goalsHaving an up-to-date daily to do list Sectioning off activities (single-tasking)Scheduling short breaksReviewing your day’s progressMaking time management strategy adjustments as neededWeekly time management looks like:Setting realistic weekly goals (goals that may take longer than single day to achieve but no longer than a week to reach)Doing a mid-week check-in and making goal adjustments as needed (staying flexible but focused)Planning for the week ahead so you’re prepared well in advanceSaying no to upcoming tasks that don’t fit the scheduleLooking at your time scheduled versus time spent Monthly time management looks like:Setting larger goals that require bit more time (e.g. seeing a change in measures of health like blood pressure, cholesterol, or stress)Doing frequent check-ins but not counting progress until the end of the month Setting “weekend” recharging sessions where you touch base with your weekly progress and how you’re doing, if you need any more support or resources to help you succeed, etc.Doing a monthly reflection which includes asking yourself where the majority of your time was spent during the past month and how much was spent on your monthly goals?Yearly time management looks like:Comparing month-to-month preset goals and actual accomplishmentsRemoving any time saving tools that aren’t actually improving your time management Cutting down on or cutting out any major time “sucks” you noticed from month-to-month (ie., how much time did you spend watching TV or scrolling on social media)?Time Management Tips To Complete Your To Do ListReady to transform your relationship to time and get rid of unimportant tasks clogging up your day? You can get started literally right now with nothing more than a pen and a paper. If you want to take notes on your phone instead, that’s cool, too. Know your prioritiesWhat are your top 3-5 priorities in life? If you’re not sure, that’s okay. Take a look at some examples of other people’s top priorities to get a sense of what you may say.Being a good personLeaving the world a better place Being respected at work Raising kind and caring humansAdopting or fostering animals from rescues These priorities are your guiding light, your raison d’etre, or your purpose on this planet, if you will. Write them down.Make SMARTer GoalsSMART goals are goals that are designed to help you succeed, and are an important aspect of self-discipline. They are:SpecificMeasurableAchievableRealisticTimelyTo follow the formula and make your own goal, here’s the basic idea:Write the goal you have in mindWhat do you want to accomplish? Who needs to be included? When do you want to do this? Why is this a goal?How can you measure progress and know if you’ve successfully met your goal?Do you have the skills required to achieve the goal? If not, can you obtain them?What is the motivation for this goal? Is the amount of effort required on par with what the goal will achieve?Why am I setting this goal now? Is it aligned with overall objectives?What’s the deadline and is it realistic?Review what you have written, and craft a new goal statement based on what the answers to the questions above have revealedRemove or reduce non-essential tasks and distractions Clear your focused work space and clear your mind of unnecessary clutter. Don’t worry about what you’re doing with your time outside of whatever task you have in front of you. (CasarsaGuru / Getty)Some people find it helpful to free their environment of visual and auditory distractions to help them stay focused and on task.Examples include:Removing distracting or eye-catching and attention-demanding art from wallsTurning your phone on silent and flipping it over or leaving it in another roomWearing earplugs or noise cancelling headphonesWhile doing these things may seem like minor changes, consider the fact that every time you take your mind’s focus away from what you’re doing, you lose your flow and spend time switching attention between tasks. In other words, our attention is singular, and we really can’t respond to email and drive while drinking coffee. And if we can, we may as well be on autopilot because our attention is null and void at this point. You can see why this isn’t an effective strategy for time management.Use Time Management Tools It can be revealing even to the most self-aware people to see the data on what they’re really doing all day long when they’re so busy! You can get some insight by using a free time tracking tool or your phone’s timer to keep track of where your time is really being spent. Most people spend WAY more time on social media sites than they realize. Time trackers can also help improve time management by providing a structured and simple way of keeping you on task. For example, you can try the Pomodoro Method of increasing concentration and productivity. Here’s how to do it: Set a work timer for 25 minutes and a break timer for 5 minutes and continue to cycle between to optimize time efficiency. You can even use the Pomodoro Online Timer to simplify the process further. Make Planning a Priority - Just don’t Take Too Much Time Doing ItIt’s exciting getting to plan out your life based on your top priorities! You’ll quickly notice that after you ask and answer the questions about where you want to be spending your time, you will start shifting your mindset there. To keep the momentum going, take a little time each night for the next day or first thing in the day to make a plan of action. Not only does this give you a formula for success (you can see what you need to do that day to reach your overall goals), but it also saves stress in trying to figure out when to fit things that need to get done.A Word of Advice: Eat the Frog First(David A. Northcott / Getty)The origin story on who really came up with the idea and from whose quote is still up for debate, but here’s what eating the frog is in a nutshell. Eating the frog is all about tackling your hardest, most important task for the day (yes, just one!) It’s a popular productivity method that was born from one or both of these quotes (the internet isn’t decided): “If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.”​​Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”If picking a frog for the day seems impossible, you’re not alone! We all have a family of “frogs” to attend to each day and they all seem very important and very timely. The main thing here is that there can only be one biggest, mightiest frog. Benefits of eating the frog firstLess likely to procrastinate againMore likely to check it off the to do listYou don’t waste time worrying or stressing about the frog throughout the day when you should be focusing on other related tasksYou can feel a major sense of accomplishment first thing in the morning (imagine the boost!) If you literally do nothing else that day, at least you ate the frogYour proverbial frog can be something someone else may not blink an eye at - doesn’t matter! Common examples include:Retaking a testMaking a phone callGoing to the doctor, dentist, or therapist (book early appointments)Giving a testimony or presentationTime Management Is in Your PowerUltimately, the answer lies in recognizing your main priorities, setting realistic goals, and following-through with using time-tracking tools and your newfound time management skills to your advantage. As time goes on, you won’t even need the timers! (Prostock-Studio / Getty)You’ll also be much more efficient and speedy at setting daily, weekly, monthly, and longer term goals. Most significant, you’ll get to finally have that time you never thought you did - and that’s the best part of it all.

How to be Successful: 16 Habits to Help You Succeed in Life
Purpose

How to be Successful: 16 Habits to Help You Succeed in Life

What does it really mean to be successful? The answer depends a lot on who you are and on your particular life circumstances. Of course, there are stereotypical markers of success: The big house, the fancy car, the important job, the best looking romantic partner. These ideas are often perpetuated in the media, through films like The Pursuit of Happyness. But these are largely superficial ideas of what makes a successful life. Ideally, the definition of success should be less material and more philosophical. Success is not about flashy accolades but about making a positive impact on others, living life to its fullest and finding happiness. That said, finding your bliss doesn’t always pay the bills. So, most of us likely want to find a sweet spot between creating a life we truly enjoy and bringing in enough cash to continue to fund it. That’s really the definition of living the dream, right?Being successful is the goal for many of us. But finding that success can feel elusive, especially when you’re young, inexperienced, or strapped for cash. Here are some ways to think about what success means to you and how to develop the right habits to create it for yourself. How so you define success?Success means different things to different people. For some people, success is defined by their career trajectory, a corner office and a cushy salary. For others, success means loving their jobs and feeling passionate about what they do day in and day out. (Alistair Berg / Getty)But some people don’t even think about work when they define success—success could be personal fulfillment, the strength of their relationships, the ability to give money to a charity they care about, being able to travel the world or simply afford to put groceries on the table without worrying about next month’s bills. To be successful, you have to define what success is for you. How can you become successful without a goal in mind? You can’t complete a journey without knowing where you’re heading. Define success for yourself, whatever it may look like, in order to understand where you want to be. To achieve success, you need intrinsic motivationWhile those material images of success might be what you think about when you picture a successful person, accolades and money aren’t enough for most people to actually become successful. To become successful, you need motivation, right? But there are many different types of motivation—and they’re not all created equal. One of the key motivational dichotomies to think about when it comes to success is the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivationIntrinsic motivation focuses on the enjoyment of the work or task at hand. Extrinsic motivation is focusing on a desired outcome, which may or may not come to fruition. This outcome might be money, recognition or even success. It’s the difference between writing a novel in your spare time because you have a story you want to tell, versus writing because you’re determined to make it on the New York Times bestsellers list. While the latter would be nice, it shouldn’t be the reason you write a book. If you focus on extrinsic motivation, seeking validation from external sources, you won’t have the stamina to keep going when you hit the inevitable roadblocks to your success. When you’re motivated by internal factors—like passion, drive, fun, adventure and so on—you’re motivated by the journey, not the potential outcome. This allows you to continue on that journey and will inevitably make you more successful in your endeavor as a result. Life success: How successful people think Being a successful or unsuccessful person doesn’t only have to do with your motivation, it also depends on the way you think. Your brain fires off countless thoughts and interpretations every second. Your thoughts influence your feelings, then your feelings influence your actions and interactions with people around you. If you’re not in the right frame of mind for success, you’ll never get there.(Oscar Wong / Getty)Having a growth mindset is a major predictor of success, according to Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck who consolidated twenty years of research into her widely popular book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. In it, she explains that your mindset—essentially your philosophies about life and yourself—is a major predictor of your success. Your mindset tells you who you are and what you believe. It’s your general attitude. Having a growth mindset means that you can embrace challenges and setbacks as learning experiences. You take criticism in stride, allowing yourself to be human but also digesting the feedback in a healthy way in order to become a better version of yourself. The opposite of this is being ridge, unimaginative, giving up in the face of adversity and staying close minded to any ideas that don’t match your own. This mindset will likely make you wildly unsuccessful. Successful people not only have growth mindsets, they are usually positive people who are largely optimistic about themselves and their goals. They’re of course realistic about the hard work they’ll need to put in in order to be successful, but they really do believe that they will do great things. They don’t put themselves down, they lift themselves up. In this same vein, successful people are able to visualize their success. They can dream it before they do it. Being flexible with your imagination and being able to picture your success allows you to harness the power of manifestation. While it’s naive to think that simply believing something is enough to make it come true, there is meaning behind being able to imagine your own success. Having this picture in your mind allows you to picture what success looks like and can keep you going when the going gets tough. Habits that make people more successfulOnce you’ve defined success for yourself and you have your mind in the right place to accomplish our goals, then comes the nitty gritty of how to be successful. Most successful people work on developing habits to help them along the way. These habits allow them to stay committed to their goals, practice time management, keep on the right path and remain mentally and physically healthy enough to keep going. Here are some of the key habits that can make your more successful at whatever it is you’re wanting to accomplish in life: Cultivate your gritWhile there is certainly a privilege element to certain types of success, you don’t have to have unique genius in order to be successful. Psychologist Angela Duckworth, in her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, explains that the most successful people have a unique combination of passion and perseverance, or grit. You don’t need to be born with some special talent to be a success, you just need to cultivate your grit: Discover what you’re passionate about and don’t let anything get in your way. Kick imposter syndrome to the curbOne of the biggest roadblocks to success is feeling like a failure before you’ve even started. Many of us have felt imposter syndrome at one time or another—it’s a sense of not being good enough for a job, not belonging in a room of professionals or questioning your own skills. (EujarimPhotography / Getty)This is where you come back to the power of visualization. When you feel less than, visualize your personal goals and remember what you’re working toward. Reminding yourself of your skills and expertise will also go a long way toward getting your mojo back, and that while some things happen overnight, in most cases the only way to get to where you want to be is to be in it for the long haul.Be prepared to step out of your comfort zoneBeing successful doesn’t come easy. You’re going to have to face challenges along the way. Exactly what these hurdles look like will be different for different people. For some, asking for help (or money) from a family member may be a challenge. For others, you’ll need to learn a new skill and may find yourself back in a classroom environment as the oldest student in the class. Getting comfortable with discomfort and pushing negative thoughts out of the way is just one more thing you have to do to be successful. But the more you challenge yourself to get uncomfortable, the more you’ll get used to that feeling.Create a routine that works for youRoutines can be boring but they can also make you more productive and save you time. Understanding where your daily minutes are allocated, and then streamlining that process, will allow you to focus on what really matters. Try to wake up and go to bed at the same time each day. Block out time for emails and other time-sucking activities. Make sure you schedule yourself meal times and exercise so you can stay balanced. When you know how your days are structured, you can get more out of them. Get enough sleep(Oscar Wong/Getty)Sure, you’re bound to pull a few all-nighters if you’re building a company from the ground up or working on a similarly challenging project. But making your health a priority is simply not optional. You need to stay on top of your game to be successful and sleep is a mandatory part of that. Without sleep you’ll be well on your way toward burnout, which could mean that you’ll lose motivation or won’t have the stamina to keep going. Make sure self care is a priorityThe most successful people know that they can’t pour from an empty cup. To begin solving these issues, you’ll do your best work and be your best self if you make taking care of yourself a priority. Now, this doesn’t mean you need to spring for weekly massages. Sure, a healthy body can be just as important as a healthy mind, but self care is unique to each person. What you do to recharge is personal to you. However, making sure that those meals you’ve scheduled are filling and full of nutrients is an aspect of self care. Getting outside each day, even for just a short walk, is another way to take care of yourself. Recognizing when you need a break—and actually taking one—is a great way to put your well-being first. True success is a long-term journey, and so you need to pay attention to what works best for you. It’s not the same thing for everybody. Don’t waste time on nonessentialsMany successful people streamline things that don’t matter to them so that they can spend more time crushing their goals. For example, you might consider making yourself the same breakfast each day so you can spend less time creating a grocery list and cooking. You might downsize your closet into a capsule wardrobe or wear a self-imposed work uniform so you don’t waste time picking out an outfit each day. You could even consider blocking certain apps and websites from your devices so you don’t end up, say, scrolling social media for hours on end after a long day. Determine what activities you can cut from your daily routine so you can focus on things that really matter to you and be more successful in life.Work on your productivitySpeaking of wasting time on social media, you might want to evaluate your productivity and take stock of how you can improve. If you tend to procrastinate on tasks and save everything to that last minute, that system may work for you—and that’s great. But if procrastinating is causing you anxiety or activating your imposter syndrome, then it’s worth looking into ways to change these habits. (Tom Merton / Getty)Just starting a task is usually enough to get you going. Try setting a timer for five minutes and tell yourself that you can stop completely when it’s over. Chances are that once you sit down to work, you’ll probably want to keep going. You can also offer yourself a reward after completing a task, if that also helps your productivity. Once you create new habits you won’t need to trick yourself into getting things done. Commit to saving money and commit to yourself financiallyDepending on your goals, you might need to save money in order to accomplish them. In that case, dedicating a savings account to your endeavor is a good way to help you stay on track. Having a set amount directly deposited into this account each month will grow your success fund and inspire you to keep pushing with your goals. Even if you can only afford $10 a month, that’s still something. And if you need to cut back on other fun expenses for a while in order to fund your dreams, so be it. Committing to yourself financially shows that you’re all in. Realize that failure is not only an option, but okayEvery successful person has experienced a setback along the way. These people just didn’t let a failure keep them from continuing to follow their passions. If you know that you will fail in some way, you’ll be less surprised when that failure inevitably happens. Picking yourself back up and working around the roadblock will continue to build your grit and make your future success even sweeter. Enlist accountability partners Few people find success completely by themselves. Find people in your life that you can lean on to help you celebrate your wins, keep you on track with your goals and help you when you’re struggling or feeling like giving up. Whether it’s friends, colleagues or family members, these are people you can trust to tell you like it is and inspire you to keep going. Seek out mentors(Thomas Barwick / Getty)Find people in your field you can speak to or who have certain expertise that would be useful. Even if you can’t meet these people in person, you can send emails or follow them on social media and participate in live chats. Seeking out people who have done what you want to do can help give you perspective on your success journey and help you map out how you want to get there. Never stop learning Don’t ever assume that you’re an expert. Even the greatest minds of all time continue to learn and expand their thinking. Read books, listen to podcasts, attend lectures, take classes—do what you can to always elevate yourself intellectually. Even if your particular field doesn’t require research, having a curious mind allows you to be more adept at problem solving and creative thinking. Trust your gutYou know yourself better than anyone else. While you do want to take other people’s opinions and perspectives into account, at the end of the day, you have to be able to listen to your own intuition when you make important decisions. To be successful, you have to be confident in your ability to make critical choices and live with them. Get in tune with yourself by meditating or journaling to help you strengthen this practice. (ljubaphoto / Getty)Keep goingOne of the most quoted axioms about success comes from leadership expert Rory Vaden. He says: “Success is never owned. It is rented and the rent is due every day.” Whew.Success is never a destination. It’s about continuing to up your game and become the best version of yourself that you can be. To be truly successful, you’ve never really done. You’re always working toward your own self-improvement or your next move. How can I be successful in 2022?Achieving success doesn’t just come overnight. And being successful is a process that can take a lifetime. (If Rory Vaden has anything to say about it, it never stops.)Cultivate and pursue success by choosing one or two habits in the previous section that you want to work on. Perhaps you want to become more productive. Maybe you need to get in touch with your intuition and learn how to trust your gut. Maybe it’s time to clear your closet and create a capsule wardrobe. Only you know what habits feel attainable to you. Once you master a few of these habits, continue to level up on your goals of success. Carve out time for what you’re passionate about—and leave those excuses about not having enough time at the door. Even if you only have five, ten or thirty minutes a day to devote to your own project, it’s enough to get started. (Buena Vista Images / Getty)Remember that success isn’t about the outcome, it’s about the journey. So think of these moments of creating your own success as the ultimate self care throughout your entire life. Making time for what lights you up is always worth the sacrifice. Your success is within you right now!