How to Let Go of Your Ex in an Era of Social Media
Our world is digital, and we depend more and more on technology to connect with each other. Those days of calling a friend to chat are almost over -- now we communicate via social media. We have a distinct presence and identity on social media, using it to see what others are up to, and letting others see us.
Social media can be very beneficial. It can bring us together over long distances; it can help us have a sense of connection with others anywhere and at any time. It also sometimes helps us express things we would probably not express in person.
But what happens when we break up and are trying to move on from a relationship, and yet wherever we look, we see our ex? When, feeling anxious, we start to look for what our ex is up to only to see what a great time he/she is having without us, and then experience increased feelings of rejection that make us feel even worse about ourselves?
Here are some recommendations of how to deal with social media so that you can move on and stop hurting.
How to Let Go of Your Ex in an Era of Social Media
Some of think that holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it’s letting go.- Herman Hesse
1. Set healthy boundaries about the information you share
It is very important that you process what is happening inside of you, and acknowledge the loss you are experiencing. This is a time when your feelings are very raw and you might feel vulnerable. Sometimes we want to vent about our ex. Stop yourself, because you might later regret it. Not everyone reading your post will be kind to you, and you don’t need to put your heart out there.
Take care of yourself. During these times, a healthy support system is important. Talk about your feelings with caring family or friends, and find groups of individuals going through what you are going though, and can understand you. Surround yourself with loving and caring individuals.
2. Find the courage to cut them out of your life
If what you are seeing upsets you and you find yourself obsessing about your ex’s posts or who they might be going out with, you need to stop. Cut them off, delete them from your friends' list, or hide their posts if you think that would be best. Do not put yourself in the position of witnessing how happy your ex is without you. Also, remember that people can create a perfect image through social media that might not necessarily be true. Sometimes even, the more people post how wonderful their life is, the less true it is. They seem to be more focused on posting pictures of what a nice time they are having than on enjoying the moment fully, without distractions or the need for witnesses to their "happiness."
3. Never post anything while you are angry, sad or hurt
The best decisions and the wisest words come from a place of calmness, not of vulnerability. You will probably regret it when you calm down.
4. Control your urge to get connected again
Sometimes we feel the urge to reconnect, either by liking or commenting on their posts, or by sending texts or messages. This can hurt you in the long run, and it is not healthy for you. It tells you that you are not over your ex, and that you need to heal the pain within you before you can start a healthy relationship. If you feel this urge, immediately call a friend, connect with someone else, or go for a walk until you feel calmer and more in control. Do not repress your feelings -- be in touch with them, recognize them, express them -- but do it in a healthy way.
5. Stop being curious, it’s negative!
We are naturally curious about the new person your ex might be seeing. How do they look? What do they like? What are they like? What do they have that I don’t? It is natural to be curious and to compare ourselves with them. Do not open communication with them. They do not know you; they are not in a place where they really want to hear from you. Maintain a distance with them.
Notice your inner world. Notice how you feel when you look at your ex’s pictures or the pictures of their new romantic interests. Notice what you are saying to yourself. If you find yourself comparing yourself to them, feeling anxious, sad and down, or having the compulsion to spend hours on social media, you need to stop and pay attention to what is happening inside of you. All this probably means that you are not over your ex, but that they might be over the relationship or are at least trying to be. Notice what that says to you and what that means to you.
Be kind with yourself. Love yourself. Do things that make you feel good. Fill your day with things that nurture you. This does not mean not to feel hurt or angry. Feel it, put words to it. Talk about it with others that care about you and who you feel safe with. Think of what you would advise your dearest friend to do and not to do, and then follow your inner wisdom and advice. It is probably good advice for you too.
Military Dad Defends His 4 Little Daughters When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Military Dad of 4 Daughters Defends His Girls When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Austin von Letkemann is the military officer strangers feel "sorry" for — and the reason is infuriating.
Whenever the devoted father leaves the house with his four children, strangers can't help but notice the officer in uniform is holding hands with 4 adorable little girls. They will tell the traditionally "masculine" and "all American" dad they feel sorry for him, because he has no sons. This dad makes one thing very clear: They are his daughters, they aren't a burden.
In a passionate video, von Letkemann took to Instagram to share with his followers that the only thing that's "difficult" about being a girl dad — is clapping back to these sexist remarks over and over again.
They Mock His Daughters To Their Face
When strangers approach Austin von Letkemann and his four daughters, they don't always realize that their comments are being overheard. They seem oblivious to the fact that his girls understand every word. Von Letkemann describes how people will approach him and, without thinking, make remarks like "I'm sorry" or even joke about his lack of sons. What they don't realize is that these comments, intended to be light-hearted or humorous, can be deeply hurtful to his daughters. These strangers are not just disrespecting von Letkemann's choices as a father; they're also sending a message to his daughters that their presence is something to be pitied. It’s a message that von Letkemann won't stand for, and he's speaking out to defend his girls from these insensitive remarksSaying "Get Your Shotgun" Isn't Funny — It's Sexist
Another common comment that Austin von Letkemann encounters is the old "better get your shotgun ready" trope, often delivered with a smirk or a wink. This line is typically intended to suggest that a father with daughters should be on high alert to protect them from potential "suitors," implying that they are objects to be guarded rather than individuals with agency.
Von Letkemann finds this line of thinking outdated and sexist. In his viral Instagram video, he points out that these jokes are not just stale — they're damaging.
By suggesting that his daughters require armed protection, the joke reinforces the idea that women are inherently vulnerable and need to be shielded from men. Von Letkemann argues that instead of promoting this narrative, society should focus on teaching respect and consent, challenging these sexist tropes at their source.
Watch Austin von Letkemann's Video:
"If I Had A Fifth Child, I'd HOPE It Was A Girl" — One Dad's Message For Other Parents
Despite the constant remarks about his lack of sons, Austin von Letkemann is clear: He wouldn't trade his daughters for anything.
In fact, he told his Instagram followers that if he were to have a fifth child, he would hope for another girl. This declaration isn't just about doubling down on his pride in his family — it's a pointed response to those who see fathering daughters as a misfortune.
Von Letkemann's stance is a powerful one, rejecting the notion that a family is incomplete without sons. He encourages others to question the assumptions behind these comments and to appreciate the joy and fulfillment that his daughters bring. By sharing his story, von Letkemann hopes to create a more inclusive perspective on fatherhood, one that values daughters just as much as sons.