Everything You Need to Know About Social Anxiety - And How to Deal With It
Affecting an estimated seven percent of the U.S. population, social anxiety is a much bigger problem than most realize.
In fact, many people don’t even realize they have social anxiety.
For years, I just thought I was shy. Throughout my early school days, I had an intense fear of being judged by others and generally hated being around groups of people. Mind you, my case is mild and I’ve learned how to manage my anxiety, but it has still held me back in tangible ways.
If you consistently become anxious and uncomfortable in social settings, social anxiety could be the cause.
I have social anxiety.– Dr. Dre
What does social anxiety look like?
Social anxiety is the fear of being judged by others along with the consequent embarrassment, depression, and feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, and self-consciousness that can come with it.
Social anxiety can appear in one of two forms:
- Specific
- General
An example of specific social anxiety is public speaking. You might do fine conversing in groups, but when faced with a big crowd when you’re on stage? Paralyzing.
However, with general social anxiety you become anxious in virtually all social settings from parties to networking, public speaking, and everything in between.
How can you tell if you have social anxiety?
There are several clear signs that you may have social anxiety. Think for a moment if you regularly experience great amounts of anxiousness and discomfort in any of the below situations:
- Being watched while you’re performing a task
- Meeting new people
- Having to speak in public
- Standing in a room full of strangers
Social anxiety has a variety of symptoms, however, these are the most common by far. If you experience intense anxiety, discomfort, nervousness, or similar feelings during any of the above situations, social anxiety may be holding you back from living your best life.
It’s also important to understand that real clinical anxiety can’t just be whisked away through overexposure. It doesn’t matter how many times you experience the above or similar social settings, you can't build any sort of magical resistance to it through sheer force.
However, don’t fret, there’s a lot you can do to manage the symptoms of social anxiety and take control of the situation.
How to manage social anxiety
There are many paths to treating social anxiety, however, cognitive-behavioral therapy (or CBT) has been shown to be highly effective in several research studies.
CBT includes a wide-range of techniques:
- Self-monitoring
- Evaluation
- And cognitive tools such as ABCD model and dysfunctional thought record
To treat social anxiety, you need to adopt a comprehensive cognitive-behavioral therapy program. However, adopting a regular mindfulness meditation practice can get you started in the right direction while you search for a local CBT program that works for you.
That’s because mindfulness plays a key part in several areas of CBT training, from developing the skills of self-monitoring and evaluation like we mentioned above as well as other valuable cognitive skills.
However, again, a single technique isn’t enough to get a handle any form of anxiety (unless, of course, it’s minor). Here are a few other important elements that could help you work through it:
- Better understanding of social anxiety and how it works
- Awareness of your anxiety and when it affects you the most
- A support group: This isn’t required, however, if your social anxiety is severe, it could be a great boon.
- A long-term mindset towards treatment: CBT and other methods can take time, so you need to be patient and persistent
Ultimately, different strategies work better for certain people, so experiment to find what works best for you.
Military Dad Defends His 4 Little Daughters When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Military Dad of 4 Daughters Defends His Girls When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Austin von Letkemann is the military officer strangers feel "sorry" for — and the reason is infuriating.
Whenever the devoted father leaves the house with his four children, strangers can't help but notice the officer in uniform is holding hands with 4 adorable little girls. They will tell the traditionally "masculine" and "all American" dad they feel sorry for him, because he has no sons. This dad makes one thing very clear: They are his daughters, they aren't a burden.
In a passionate video, von Letkemann took to Instagram to share with his followers that the only thing that's "difficult" about being a girl dad — is clapping back to these sexist remarks over and over again.
They Mock His Daughters To Their Face
When strangers approach Austin von Letkemann and his four daughters, they don't always realize that their comments are being overheard. They seem oblivious to the fact that his girls understand every word. Von Letkemann describes how people will approach him and, without thinking, make remarks like "I'm sorry" or even joke about his lack of sons. What they don't realize is that these comments, intended to be light-hearted or humorous, can be deeply hurtful to his daughters. These strangers are not just disrespecting von Letkemann's choices as a father; they're also sending a message to his daughters that their presence is something to be pitied. It’s a message that von Letkemann won't stand for, and he's speaking out to defend his girls from these insensitive remarksSaying "Get Your Shotgun" Isn't Funny — It's Sexist
Another common comment that Austin von Letkemann encounters is the old "better get your shotgun ready" trope, often delivered with a smirk or a wink. This line is typically intended to suggest that a father with daughters should be on high alert to protect them from potential "suitors," implying that they are objects to be guarded rather than individuals with agency.
Von Letkemann finds this line of thinking outdated and sexist. In his viral Instagram video, he points out that these jokes are not just stale — they're damaging.
By suggesting that his daughters require armed protection, the joke reinforces the idea that women are inherently vulnerable and need to be shielded from men. Von Letkemann argues that instead of promoting this narrative, society should focus on teaching respect and consent, challenging these sexist tropes at their source.
Watch Austin von Letkemann's Video:
"If I Had A Fifth Child, I'd HOPE It Was A Girl" — One Dad's Message For Other Parents
Despite the constant remarks about his lack of sons, Austin von Letkemann is clear: He wouldn't trade his daughters for anything.
In fact, he told his Instagram followers that if he were to have a fifth child, he would hope for another girl. This declaration isn't just about doubling down on his pride in his family — it's a pointed response to those who see fathering daughters as a misfortune.
Von Letkemann's stance is a powerful one, rejecting the notion that a family is incomplete without sons. He encourages others to question the assumptions behind these comments and to appreciate the joy and fulfillment that his daughters bring. By sharing his story, von Letkemann hopes to create a more inclusive perspective on fatherhood, one that values daughters just as much as sons.