Close Ad

  • Matt Valentine

    Matt Valentine is a father, husband, and a self-published author. He writes weekly on his blog, Buddhaimonia.com, about everything from spirituality to self-mastery.
101 Deep Questions to Ask Your Partner, Boyfriend, or Girlfriend
Dating

101 Deep Questions to Ask Your Partner, Boyfriend, or Girlfriend

How well do you know your partner? We don't just mean their favorite color or movie, but really know them. Have you ever asked the deep questions? Their likes, dislikes, trauma, regrets, passions, dreams and greatest desires.RELATED: Do the 36 Questions That Lead to Love Really Work?These are not meant to undermine your relationship, simply to point out an area for improvement, something that needs to be strengthened if you hope to get through not only the good times, but also the bad ones.Fortunately, there’s a pretty easy way to strengthen your bond. And luckily, it’s a lot of fun (even if it can get heavy sometimes). Think back. When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with your partner? An open and honest discussion can help bring couples closer together by building trust, mutual understanding and compassion.How well do you know your partner? Discover Deeper Connection with Your Partner! Uncover the Secrets of Love and Intimacy with this Couples Card GameCommunication will bring understanding and understanding will cause harmonious mutual relationships which can establish peace and stability.– Lobsang TenzinAllowing yourselves to be vulnerable, by practicing active and empathetic listening, also tends to reveal a lot about your partner’s character, their values, their past and their visions for the future. It’s an opportunity to learn more about your partner and ultimately, more about yourself.The Power of Deep Questions in Every RelationshipAsking the right question at the right time can help us realize breakthroughs in many important areas of life, from finding out what we want to do with our life to improving personal relationships.RELATED: How Soon Is Too Soon to Move In? The 5 Most Important Questions to AnswerUnderstanding is the gateway to compassion and love, and questions allow us to obtain that necessary level of understanding, helping us learn why our partner behaves or thinks a certain way.Have you ever wondered what are the right, deep questions to ask your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse or partner? Well, wonder no longer. Here below are 101 deep questions to help you connect with your partner on a more intimate level. May they help you realize a deeper understanding, boundless compassion, and open love.Couples Should Have Deeper Conversation about Life1. What’s something you’re glad you’ll never have to do again?When it comes to getting to know your partner on a more meaningful level, it really helps to build an understanding of any experiences they’d like to avoid — and why. Knowing the answers to these questions can be stress-relieving, or help to circumvent awkward situations, as well as cultivate empathy and a deeper understanding of their character. 2. What’s one thing you always procrastinate on?3. What would you do with your life if you were suddenly awarded a billion dollars?While winning a billion dollars is highly unlikely, anything is possible. What this question really reveals is more than their dream vacation, or how they would spend almost unlimited wealth. It reveals where your partner’s priorities lie when the usual obstacles and impediments are removed, and what their biggest dreams will be — the ones they’d like to pursue in their heart of hearts.4. What should a healthy relationship provide for the people in it?Relationship questions like this one are rather crucial to your expectations and theirs, and can be very helpful in determining whether your relationship needs and goals are aligned or not. If they’re not, you may find there is common ground enough to come together anyway — but knowing comes first.5. Do you believe everything happens for a reason, or do we just find reasons after things happen?6. Is there anything you consider absolutely unforgivable?If your partner has a deal-breaker associated with unforgivable acts, it doesn’t hurt to know what it is so you can be sure that it doesn’t conflict with any of your own unforgivable end zones. Plus, if you disagree on what’s forgivable, that’s worth discussing.7. If you woke up tomorrow with no fear, what would you do first?8. In your life, what has been the biggest blessing in disguise?This is a great way to understand how your partner’s mind works — how they put things in perspective for themselves, and how they process ‘positive’ vs ‘negative’ forces in their lives. 9. If you could pick one year of your life to do-over, which would it be and why? 10. What is one behavior that you never tolerate?Your partner may not tolerate clutter or messiness in their home, or they may not like the idea of having friends over late into the night. It's worth comparing and contrasting which behaviors you find acceptable and which you can’t stand. How else will you know if you’re well-aligned?11. If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in only three words?12. What is the one thing that makes you feel alive?Whether it’s mountain climbing, skydiving, performing in front of an audience, traveling to new places, or simply being creative on a regular basis, it’s worth knowing what gets your partner’s juices flowing. Because arguably, feeling alive is everything!13. What would your perfect day look like?Not only can this question help you plan the perfect surprise birthday itinerary, but it can teach you a ton about how your partner likes to unwind and have fun — always useful information!14. Do you usually follow your head or your heart when making decisions?Contrary to surface-level understandings, "heart people" can be highly compatible with "head people," even helping to balance one another out, so don’t worry about their answer being different than yours, or being overly emotional compared to them. Also, don’t get stuck on black-or-white answers, as these things never are.15. What is something that never ends well?16. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?Romantic Questions: Thinking about Your RelationshipThese are not just random questions to ask your boyfriend or partner. In real life, knowing how they want to spend date night, what the most attractive quality they find in others is, or what their favorite romantic movie is can seem like a silly thing to want to know at first. RELATED: 3 Ways to Beat Relationship BoredomHowever, they are also interesting questions that reveal much about compatibility, and the sort of romantic things and experiences they want in their lives. 1. What did you think when you first met me?If you haven’t discussed your first impressions of one another, there’s really no time like the present. The answer to this question might be amusing; it might also be romantic. One thing's for sure, it’ll give you an insider's view on the path your partner traveled to choosing you.2. What about our relationship makes you really happy?Best case scenario: you gain a deeper understanding of what your partner appreciates about you, which can serve as a wonderful anchor in your relationship. Not to mention, regularly communicating what you appreciate about one another is the stuff of strong relationships.3. If you had one word to describe our relationship what would it be?4. What’s your biggest fear for this relationship?Relationship anxiety is extraordinarily common, but there’s no antidote to this particular brand of fear like talking it through with an empathetic partner. Relationship fear is often based on past experiences, and once they’re out in the open, they have a greater chance of dissipating.5. What’s one difference between us that you absolutely love?They say opposites attract, and while this is certainly not always the case, having palpable differences is often a source of interest, intrigue and attraction between partners. Why not get some positive feedback on being yourself?6. What’s one similarity between us that you absolutely love?7. What about me (outside of a physical feature) made you fall in love?If you’re in love, and the feeling is mutual, this is a question that can only feed your mutual affection and appreciation for one another — so don’t be afraid to ask.8. What’s your favorite memory of us?9. What’s one thing you want to do together that we’ve never done before?This question is perfectly suited to laying sprawled out in a field of flowers, visioning for the long-term with your significant other. It’s really healthy to want to share certain experiences (be it singing a duet at an open mic, entering a marathon, or buying real estate). And it’s even healthier to express it!10. Where is your favorite place to be with me?11. What’s one thing you’re scared to ask me, but really want to know the answer to?These types of boyfriend questions are important: If your partner actually has an answer to this one, chances are you’ll want to ask the question. Better to get everything out in the open sooner than later. It may end up being an opportunity to hear the hardest truth, but one that strengthens the relationship over the long term. 12. What’s one thing you feel our relationship is lacking?13. What’s your favorite non-physical quality about me?Attraction is often based at least in part on physical traits, particularly at the beginning of a relationship. But if your relationship is a strong one, there is surely more to your bond than looks. Hearing all the other things that fuel your partner’s attraction can be really refreshing, enlightening, even.14. If our relationship ended, what’s the one thing about it you’d miss the most?15. What do you think was your most vulnerable moment in our relationship?Staying honest (and therefore vulnerable) is integral to any successful relationship. What better way to achieve this than to talk about moments of authentic vulnerability without judgment? 16. What’s one secret you’ve wanted to tell me, but haven’t?17. What’s your favorite way to receive affection?Different people have different love languages, from physical touch, to words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, and acts of service. There’s no better way to give and receive affection than by speaking each other’s language.18. What’s one thing you think makes our relationship unique from everyone else’s?19. If you could change one thing about our relationship what would it be?It might seem counterintuitive to invite conversation based on the assumption that your partner would, in fact, change something about your relationship, but sometimes, it’s questions like these that make someone feel comfortable enough to raise an issue that's been on their mind.20. What do you think is your biggest strength in this relationship?21. What’s one thing about your life you would never change for someone else, including me?While the tone of this question may seem a tad negative at first glance, identifying your partner’s non-negotiable traits, habits or attachments can go a long way toward helping you understand what’s most important to them in life.22. What about us do you think works well together? How do we balance each other out?23. What does love mean to you?24. What do I mean to you?This question is makes both parties vulnerable, so it's natural to want to shy away from it. But at a certain point in your relationship (you’ll know what point — it’s different for everyone), hot and heavy questions like this one are fair — and, hell, they can be extremely romantic too.25. What was your first impression of me?26. What’s the most romantic movie you’ve ever seen?27. Do you believe in love at first sight?Fun Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend, Boyfriend or PartnerNot everything has to be so serious! Sometimes the best relationship advice is to be silly, and enjoy cute questions about crazy things. RELATED: The 60 Best Secret Crush Quotes to Help You Thirst in StyleFunny questions can sometimes lead to a really good conversation that you guys will be really glad you had.1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?3. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?Although questions like these have a bit of a party-trick vibe, they can also be very revealing of your partner’s core values. What does your partner value more: looks or lucidity? While answers should be taken with a grain of salt, you can learn lots from the inevitable explanations that accompany such answers.4. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? (If their sense of humor is dark like yours)5. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?Many of us fantasize about possessing certain "superpowers" or abilities. This is a fun question to ask, but it can also teach you lots about your partner’s deepest wishes (be it to fly above it all, turn invisible on whim, or set fire to things spontaneously) — so ask, ask away! 6. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?7. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?In the spirit of bringing the best out of one another, this question can help you plan a future in which you do just that. Why not encourage your partner to follow their dreams and talk through it with them if they get stuck?8. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?9. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.Think of your most embarrassing moments as a treasure trove of a) good stories, b) hard lessons learned, and c) personal growth signposts. Sharing these with your partner will very likely bring you closer. After all, any partner worth their salt wants to know the real you — not the airbrushed version.10. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?11. What’s your favorite karaoke song?12. What is your go-to Halloween costume?13. Who is your big celebrity crush?Questions to Ask Your Partner about the Future1. Where do you see yourself in five years?If your partner hasn’t given any thought to this question, and you have (or vice versa), a discussion wouldn’t hurt. Sometimes all it takes is a little communication for two people to start creating five-year plans together.2. How do you see our future together? Where do you see it headed?It may seem daunting, but it’s important to have ‘the talk’ with your best friend and potential lifelong mate. If your hearts and paths are aligned, there shouldn’t be much in the way of surprises. If they're not, it’s still definitely worth knowing so you can reassess.3. What are your goals in the relationship?4. What are your thoughts on having a family?This is not a peripheral question: if you want a big family but your partner would rather limit your dependents to cats and dogs, you need to have a discussion to determine whether there’s enough flexibility to move forward.5. Where do you see yourself living when you retire?6. What are your financial priorities and goals?Money and love may seem antithetical, but the strongest relationships are transparent on all fronts. In other words, if you couldn’t care less about money or saving for the future, but your partner is steeped in mutual funds and RRSPs (or vice versa), it may be worth talking about to avoid future conflicts or imbalances in the relationship.7. What is on your bucket list that we can do together this year?8. What’s the one thing you want to achieve the most before you die?If your partner has a goal to end all goals — something they don’t want to leave this earth without achieving (i.e. writing a novel, or opening a café) — you may want to consider getting behind it and supporting them. Because happier people make better partners!9. Do you have any habits you want to change?Be it quitting smoking and drinking, or curbing a bad temper, knowing your partner’s personal betterment aspirations can help you be a stronger support when they need it the most.10. What do you most look forward to about getting old?‘Getting old’ might not be a topic either of you naturally turn to, but talking about it can really help clarify your respective life trajectories (or at least the ones you see yourself following), as well as how your partner imagines life with you in the (distant) future.11. What are you hoping to learn in the coming year?12. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received in your whole life?13. If you could see into the future, what’s one thing you want to see?Many of us would rather not look into the future and find out things that might rob us of quality of life in the present moment. Then again, your partner may have good reasons to prefer knowing how certain life aspects will unfold. You should probably hear this.14. How do you want to be remembered?Questions to Ask Your Husband, Wife or Partner about Their Past1. When’s the last time you felt vulnerable? How did you cope?2. What have you accomplished in the past year that you are most proud of?Close as you feel to your partner, you may not actually be aware of how they judge their own achievements and what it is they take real pride in. True intimacy requires learning more about your partner’s inner world when the opportunity presents itself.3. What were the major turning points in your life?From past trauma dating back to one's childhood, to struggles with anxiety, depression, or addiction your partner may have dealt with before knowing you, ‘turning points’ come in many forms. Learning your partner means knowing their history.4. When’s the last time you pushed out of your comfort zone? How did it make you feel?5. What is your happiest memory?Sharing the happiest memories of our lives is a beautiful way of getting closer to our partners while opening the door to creating new happy memories together as a couple. 6. How have you changed in the past five years?7. When was the last time you cried and why?Some people cry often, and others rarely. We all have different relationships to shedding tears, and understanding your partner’s will only shed light on their emotional reality. Bonus: asking the question entails sharing a vulnerable moment, and vulnerability breeds intimacy.8. What is an important life lesson you’ve learned?9. What’s the most daring thing you’ve ever done?We don’t all have the same notions of courage, or of boldness. You can learn volumes about your partner by hearing them tell of the most daring thing they ever did, and the kind of results it manifested in their life.10. What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned from past partners?Not everyone likes to discuss their previous relationships with their current partner, and indeed, there should be a limit to such discussions. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t valuable lessons to be shared. Chances are that learning about your partner’s experiences in previous serious relationships will help you to better understand their behaviors today.11. What’s the most challenging setback you’ve ever experienced? How did you overcome it?12. If you could change one thing in history, what would it be?13. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?14. If you had to listen to just one of the songs you loved as a kid for the rest of your life, which song would it be?15. Did you have any pets growing up?Particularly if animals are important to you, and/or you plan on having pets in the future, it’s integral you get to know your partner’s attitude toward animals.16. What is your favorite childhood memory?Heavy Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend, Boyfriend or Partner1. Do you want to have kids? If so, how many?2. When you’re having a bad day, what makes you feel better?This is the kind of question that helps you better understand how to comfort your girlfriend when she's down and just needs a reprieve from life for a minute (or a day). Whether it’s cooking a meal, cleaning the apartment, or giving her a temple massage, these are important life skills, so never underestimate them!3. Do you consider yourself a jealous person?4. Have you ever cheated on a partner?If your girlfriend has cheated in the past, it’s worth knowing, just as it's worth knowing what led her to it, and how she feels about it in retrospect. People grow and change — they do it all the time. 5. Why did your last relationship end?6. How important is religion or spirituality in your life?Religion and/or spirituality may or may not play a significant role in your life — either way, unless the topic was at the forefront of your first meeting, your partner might have an altogether different relationship to faith. If you want to build a future together, don’t hesitate to ask her. If she’s worth being in a relationship with, she’s worth really knowing.7. Who was your role model growing up?8. Have you ever been in an emotional or physically abusive relationship?If your partner has coped with an abuser in the past (be it an ex-partner, a parent, or anyone else) getting closer to your girlfriend likely means learning what she’s been through — to whatever extent she’s willing to share.9. How important are looks to you?10. Do you think a relationship can come back from cheating?In a committed, monogamous relationship, no one wants a partner who strays. That said, your boyfriend might take cheating less seriously than you do — or vice versa. Put your mind at ease by addressing concerns as they arise, and with total transparency.11. How long was your longest relationship?12. How do you see our future together: do you envision a two-income household, or a different arrangement?Whether you envision yourself as a blissfully content stay-at-home-mom, a high octane corporate executive — or both — finding out what kind of household arrangement your boyfriend imagines for his future (i.e., blissfully content stay-at-home dad) can help circumvent a lot of potential conflict in the future. 13. Have you ever struggled with addiction?While it’s true that our struggles do not define us, your boyfriend’s history with any sort of addiction is something you’re within your rights to ask about, as it may affect you too. Even if this does not represent his current reality, understanding his past struggles can help you become a lot better acquainted with the man you’re sharing your life with.14. Have you ever been engaged or married?Becoming acquainted with the broad strokes of your boyfriend’s past romantic life can help you better understand his behaviors, interests, and hesitations in your current relationship.15. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?You might have a very different style of communicating or relating to others than your boyfriend does. This doesn’t make you incompatible—in fact, it might even make you extra complementary. Still, it helps to address these differences so you can better understand and empathize with one another, while also being supportive of your partner even if you can’t directly relate to their difficulties. Why Are Questions in Relationships So Important?Ultimately, when it comes to building and maintaining strong relationships, communication is both king and queen! The more deeply you open up to truly getting to know one another, the sturdier your foundation will be. Nothing can shake you if your version of intimacy includes sharing your best and worst moments with compassion, acceptance, and love. Asking questions (and answering them) without reservation is a surefire way to open up the floodgates of vulnerability—by extension cultivating deeper shared emotional experiences. With additions by MJ Kelly and Maya KhamalaKEEP READING: Are You in Love? These 5 Proven Signs Will Help You Know for Sure

What to Do When You're in a Toxic Relationship (Even if You Can’t Get Out)
Relationships

What to Do When You're in a Toxic Relationship (Even if You Can’t Get Out)

A toxic relationship can seem impossible to escape.Like a leech that has latched onto you, it refuses to let go. That is, until it has reminded you how worthless you are, and drained you of all energy.Throughout my life, there has been more than one occasion where I found myself trapped under the same roof, or in the same workplace, of toxic associations. So, I can attest to their power and influence.RELATED: Toxic People and How to Deal With ThemNegative associations can embed themselves so deeply into our lives that they may seem impossible to escape. But there is a way, even if you can’t distance yourself from the person now, by re-balancing the mind and shifting the dynamic.Every bad association offers a different dynamic, but this is how I’ve done it. I hope it can be of use to you.Toxic relationships come in all shapes and sizes, from the family member who seems to have taken issue with our basic existence, to the colleague who targets us for belittlement, to the spouse who's revealed to be someone other than we thought. How to Rise Up in a Toxic RelationshipPhoto by RODNAE Productions from PexelsThe issue with bad associations is that sometimes we’re placed (or end up) in a situation where we can’t get out. Whether it’s at work, at home, or in a social circle filled with friends we could never imagine abandoning, sometimes the most common advice for toxic relationships won't work. Leave them, get out -- you get the idea.We teach people how to treat us.DR. PHILThere are different ways to approach the situation. However, I’m a firm believer that whether or not it's someone else’s fault, we rarely get anywhere by harping on what we think has been done to us. If you reflect on what they’re doing to you, and how much you despise them for it, you’re only going to bring yourself down further.What you need to do is... rise up. It’s about doing everything you can to better yourself, rather than fantasizing about changing someone else. That's because, in most cases, you're only wasting your time. There are three main steps to doing that in a toxic relationship:1. Re-balancePhoto by JÉSHOOTS from PexelsIf you strip down the issue to its essence, negative associations are what “information” you’re absorbing through your senses, how long it remains, how deeply it's embedded, and whether it’s challenged by another belief.However, this information doesn’t just come from our interactions with other physical people, it also comes from media such as books, movies, TV, podcasts, and so on. Negative associations have a way of “tipping the scales” of our state of being. They take the life out of us because they get into our head and change our self-talk to something demoralizing. (For most of us, our self-talk isn’t very healthy to begin with.) So, if you tip the scales right back with positive media and associations, you can begin to negate the very effect they’ve been having on you.You’ll need to be relentless. Around negative associations a lot at work or home? Wear your headphones, and listen to podcasts, audio books and music that make you feel empowered. Mix it up. Keep yourself busy learning, doing, and moving yourself forward.RELATED: The Life Cleanse: 6 Steps of Letting Go of a Toxic RelationshipThis is a great opportunity to start learning something new, or for taking action on something you’ve wanted to do but have previously lacked the confidence. Buy some audio books and listen to them constantly. Get excited about learning something new. However this works best for you, the idea is that you want to inject yourself with empowering and motivational information.Try to keep the information beneficial for personal growth in general, and not merely for base motivation, though. You want to make sure you’re using the time to move your life forward and not to simply jack yourself up with no intention in mind.2. Shift the Dynamic to Change the RelationshipPhoto by Anna Shvets from PexelsThe reality is, how we're treated is not entirely the responsibility of other people. In any relationship, there’s a dynamic that’s established from the very moment you meet. We teach others how to treat us by dictating this dynamic, or allowing them to do so, to varying degrees.So, while you may not be able to get away from every bad association, you can change the dynamic to change the relationship. Rise above, and let your new, more confident self take control of that dynamic, and change it in your favor.RELATED: These 6 Types of Relationships Will Drain Your EnergyDogs often enjoy messing with cats, particularly the first time they meet. That is, unless the cat has the confidence to retaliate. When I was younger, a cat once sneaked into our backyard one summer afternoon while I was shooting baskets. My old Golden Retriever, Charlie, noticed him jump the gate from across the yard. The thing is, dogs will try to play with a cat, purely for their own enjoyment, until the cat pulls out its claws. That’s exactly what happened. All it took was one swipe, and Charlie ran, yelping, into the house. He kept his distance from cats after that. Often, all it takes is a stinging clap back at the other person to change the dynamic, permanently.To be clear, I’m not advising anyone to insult or abuse someone. It's simply a matter of practicing standing up to the other person, verbally, with the new confidence you’ve developed. Don’t give them an inch. Obviously, this is easier said than done. However, if you consistently place yourself into a more confident state of mind, this becomes easier and more natural. That's why that was step one.3. Be Consistent About GrowthPhoto by Dominika Roseclay from PexelsAll that’s left to do now is to commit to consistent growth.When someone sees that you’re trying to move forward and do something with your life, and that you're not seeking their permission to so, they often take note.In this way, they’ve developed a kind of respect for you -- as terrible of a person as they might be -- because you're standing up to them and not letting them hold you back. It’s about becoming this immovable beacon of light. Because of this respect, they no longer act the same around you.It’s impossible to force anyone to change. However, with this process, you can not only give yourself the best chance at bringing out a better side of someone (or, at least, demanding respect), you’ve bettered yourself and not allowed their negative influence hold you back.KEEP READING: 4 Warning Signs That Your Work Culture Is Toxic

Feeling the Winter Darkness? These Dawn Simulators Will Help Boost Your Energy
Mental Health

Feeling the Winter Darkness? These Dawn Simulators Will Help Boost Your Energy

Feeling in a slump? A dawn simulator, which uses lights to imitate the sun's rising at dawn, can help boost your energy. Dawn simulators let you program lights that progressively increase in intensity to wake you up in the morning. They are easy to use, as you just set them up like an alarm clock and allow the light to reach your retina while you’re still sleeping.Using a dawn simulator offers a few key benefits. It can support a healthy circadian rhythm and even help balance hormones and positively influence cortisol levels (the stress hormone). Dawn simulators can be used to treat seasonal affective disorder, depending on the light intensity. There are also sleep benefits. It may seem backward to use a wake-up lamp to help you sleep better, but light can control our melatonin levels and consequently, affect our quality of sleep. Changing your light exposure can help regulate your melatonin levels and improve energy levels throughout the day. Before purchasing a dawn simulator, there are a few things to consider. According to findings, 10,000 lux is the ideal amount of light intensity for SAD treatments, but lower lux levels are still effective for everyday use. Other than budget considerations, you also need to keep in mind the distance that your light is going to have to be to work efficiently. Most good-quality dawn simulators will allow the treatment to be effective from at least 12 inches from your face.How we chose the best dawn simulators To choose the best dawn simulators, we took into consideration a few basic criteria:Lux (lx): Most importantly, you’ll want to take note of the lux, or light intensity, of the lamp. The higher the lux, the stronger the concentration of light. Look for a lamp with a lux of 10,000 if possible if you’re looking to treat Seasonal Affective Disorder. If not, just 250-300 lux is fine for basic dawn simulation.What additional features does it offer?Is there manufacturer support / a warranty offered?Does it filter UV rays?Price (Also what is its energy cost?)Ready to find the perfect dawn simulator for your needs? To make your life easier, here are the best options on the market. Philips SmartSleep Wake-up LightThe Philips SmartSleep Wake-up Light, Colored Sunrise and Sunset Simulation works at 300 lux. It also offers 20 different light intensities to help personalize your experience. It doubles as an alarm clock and radio, giving you additional features to look forward to. It does include a warranty of 24 months beginning on the date of purchase for products bought in Canada or the U.S. In terms of price, this dawn simulator would be considered mid-range at $79.95. Pros: Affordable, ability to customize your experienceCons: No nighttime features availableSEE IT: $139.98 at Amazon.com Lumie Bodyclock RiseThe Lumie Bodyclock Rise is around 350 lumens and features wake-up as well as sleep functions. Wake-up includes 30 minutes of sunrise duration, adjustable light intensity, mixed LEDs to simulate the sun accurately, as well as the option for a traditional alarm with tap-snooze. Sleep features include a 30-minute sunset option to help you wind down, as well as a light-sensitive display to adjust to the light in your room. Plus, this dawn simulator also doubles as a nightlight! It has a three-year warranty to cover any issues with the LED lights. The 99$ price tag may seem steep, but it does provide lots of value for its price. Pros: Longer warranty, nighttime functions, good light intensity and high quality LEDsCons: Slightly more expensive, batteries are not includedSEE IT: $99.00 at Amazon.com Philips SmartSleep Connected Sleep and Wake-Up LightThe Philips SmartSleep Connected Sleep and Wake-Up Light has 25 brightness settings and a light intensity of 315 lux. This product’s unique features and functions reflect its $169 price. the price. Smart features include a midnight light, FM radio, phone charging dock, speaker, auxiliary connection, auto-dimming display, smart snooze, and an AmbiTrack sensor that measures your bedroom sleep environment. You can also download the SleepMapper app to track your sleep and get insights and metrics. There’s a full two-year warranty should there be anything wrong with the way your product is manufactured. Pros: Allows you to track your sleep, many additional functions that make it multi-use, great light intensity.Cons: ExpensiveSEE IT: $199.99 at Amazon.com Hatch RestoreThe Hatch Restore is a good dawn simulator with sound and light options to help you customize your sleep and wakeups. The purchase of this light lamp comes with a 30-day free trial of the Hatch Sleep Membership that includes meditations, sleep stories, and more through the content library. This sunrise alarm clock also features a sleep routine function and reading light. All of this can be accessed through the app or by touch. The digital time display doubles as a clock. This product retails for $129.99 and includes a 60-night money back guarantee. Pros: Includes a sleep routine function on top of the wakeup. You can control the settings through your app.Cons: You have to pay for the Hatch Sleep Membership after 30 days to access their content, expensive, does not specify the light intensity (lux), batteries not included.SEE IT: $129.99 at Amazon.com Sunrise Alarm Clock This sunrise alarm clock is very affordable and offers a lot of value for $39.95. First, you get great light intensity at 500 lux. You also get both sunrise simulation and a soft night light. The daytime and nighttime functions include seven respective wakeup or sleep sounds at 10 adjustable volumes. The 20 brightness settings help you customize your sunlight. This dawn simulator also includes eight color lights to mimic a sunrise and three white lights (2500k, 3000k, and 3500k). The correlated color temperature sits at 5200K/1700K. Pros: Great light intensity, nighttime routine functions and adjustable settings, and very affordableCons: No warranty information listedSEE IT: $39.95 at Amazon.com Onlycare Sunrise Alarm Clock Onlycare’s sunrise alarm clock gives you the ultimate bang for your buck. It features a 320 lux brightness and sunrise time of 10-60 minutes. Other features include a sunset simulation, snooze button, dual alarms, FM radio and eight natural sounds mimicking animals, forests and even the ocean to help you sleep. It’s also only $45.99. Pros: Affordable, sunset simulation, batteries included, additional sleep helpCons: No warranty information listedSEE IT: $45.99 at Amazon.com Dawn Simulator FAQsWhat is the difference between a dawn simulator and a SAD lamp? A dawn simulator works similarly to bright light therapy in terms of treating Seasonal Affective Disorder. Although, bright light therapy has a high level of lux needed, which can be more difficult to find in a dawn simulator. A SAD lamp also requires you to be awake during the treatment, whereas a dawn simulator works while you’re asleep. Is buying a higher-end dawn simulator worth it? It depends on the functions of that dawn simulator. If the light intensity fits your needs and includes additional features that are important to you, don’t let the price steer you away from the product. A higher priced dawn simulator doesn’t necessarily mean it’s better though. How long does it take to see benefits from using a dawn simulator? Consistency is key: It could take about a week or sometimes a little more to see results, especially if you’re using it to benefit your mental health or your hormone/cortisol levels. You may notice improved sleep more rapidly.

Twin Flame Meaning: The Signs You've Found Your Spiritual Mirror
Dating

Twin Flame Meaning: The Signs You've Found Your Spiritual Mirror

with additions by MJ Kelly, Flavia Medrut and Ricky DeriszHave you ever met someone for the first time and felt instantly drawn to them, as if you've known this person before? Did you click right off the bat and immediately establish a deep soul connection? Have you been seeing the number 11:11 sequence at every turn?If the answer to these questions is yes, then you may be experiencing a twin flame connection. The mysterious, cosmic, and much-desired authentic twin flame relationship is said to be life-changing, soul-elevating, and… extremely challenging. Because of this, it's not hard to see why twin flames meet and fall for one another quickly. RELATED: 4 Ways to Tell Someone Might Be Your Soulmate in the First 5 Minutes of Meeting ThemIn this article, we’ll explore the concept of a twin flame, the signs you’ve found your twin flame, and offer some practical guidance to make this esoteric concept a gateway to developing a thriving relationship, based on mutual growth.What Is a Twin Flame?For a concept as artistic as the true twin flame, what better place to begin than Greek philosophy? In Plato’s Symposium, whilst explaining the origin of love, Aristophanes says:“According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.”What’s most telling about Plato’s reflection is that this definition applies to twin flames, more than the traditional definition of soul mate relationships. Although one person can have many soul mates, there is said to be only one twin flame — the other half of the same soul. Plato adds:“...and when one of them meets the other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other's sight, as I may say, even for a moment...”Twin flame connections are on a soul level; they're a relationship of amazement, friendship, intimacy, and intense emotions. But deeper than that, a twin flame is the other half of a soul split in two. One soul, incarnate in two separate beings. As you can imagine, it’s a pretty intense and pretty rare form of romantic relationship; it's more likely to come across a false twin flame than a true twin flame.The Purpose of Twin Flame RelationshipsSimply put, if you find your twin flame, you find your mirror. It is said that once you reach a certain level of consciousness in life and you meet your twin flame, it will catalyze your growth for a divine purpose. This means that there are two of you wandering planet Earth. The other “you” is your twin flame and when you cross paths, you immediately feel as if you’re whole again.But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but harsh reflections and shadow work. As your mirror, your twin flame reflects your weaknesses, and areas of growth, as well as your greatest strengths. Essentially, their presence as a romantic partner ignites a spell of intense and rapid personal growth and transformation.RELATED: 20 Soulmate Quotes That Prove the Power of True LoveThe twin flame meaning is fully understood after entering the doors of spiritual awakening and starting the practice of self-inquiry. This is where relationships and personal (and spiritual) growth collide. It is a place where all of you exists, unmasked and exposed, and it craves connection like a caterpillar seeking out the perfect branch to build a cocoon.But this caterpillar doesn’t hope to hide from the exposure. It’s designed to shed its skin — and everything inessential with it — to become something new. Something without the trappings of distortion, lies, misconception, ego, and ignorance that can fly more freely and peacefully.Spotting Twin Flame Signs in Your RelationshipThe biggest twin flame signs in a relationship are unspeakable magnetism, familiarity, and mirroring. Other common twin flame signs include:Meeting this person at a stage of profound personal development.A number of shared synchronicities between the pair of you.A shared desire for spiritual growth and personal development.A sense of timelessness or altered states when you’re together.A strong psychic connection — the ability to read each other.Seeing your twin flame appear in dreams or during meditation.The relationship is intense, with cycles of highs and lows.You can’t escape your own shadow or areas that require self-awareness.RELATED: The Value Of Introspection For Personal And Spiritual GrowthIn addition, it is said there are distinct stages in any twin flame relationship, which are:Yearning for the One: This is a period of perceived lack, with an intuitive knowing someone is out there who will help you feel whole.Meeting the One: Finally, you meet, sparks fly, and your world turns upside down.Falling in love: The inevitable rapid and unavoidable intoxication leads to a romantic wonderland, where all is bliss, and your twin flame can do no wrong.The honeymoon period: This spell might be followed by relative ease. The gift of mutual connection and ways you complement each other take center stage.The testing period: Then issues surface, related to core wounds or trauma. Suddenly, you’re on testing ground, and your twin flame is reflecting the deepest parts of you that have to be seen to be transformed.The runner and chaser: Due to the level of work involved, it’s common for one of the pair to walk away from the relationship, sparking a period of running and chasing, push and pull.The surrender: This is the point where both twin flames accept the divine destiny of the relationship. Both have grown and surrendered to the path laid out before them.Homecoming: Through this process and the integration of shadow elements and healing from trauma, an even deeper level of connection is created, without the turbulence. However, due to the intensity, not all relationships make it to this stage.With this in mind, you may ask yourself, "Are twin flames meant for everyone?" The answer is certainly not. Conventional romance, harmony, or life-long companionship, can all be nurtured with a life partner, or soul mate. If this is the relationship for you, it doesn’t make it any less valuable than the twin flame journey.Relationships can offer incredible, radical personal growth as powerful as any spiritual practice. And there’s no better example of this than in a twin flame relationship. A twin flame relationship is when two people are perfect matches as a result of shared pain or another difficulty. The important part is in the dynamic between the two people, though, and it’s where the difference between a twin flame and a life partner (or soul mate) really exists.3 Subtle Differences Between a Twin Flame and a Life Partner“What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life? They are there to strengthen each other and to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.” – George Eliot1. A twin flame relationship isn’t about love – life partners are based on itA life partner is someone you have true love for. You know you’ve found your life partner when you’ve identified a real, unconditional love for another and they have expressed (and showed) it towards you. It’s all about love.But a twin flame isn’t about love — it’s about truth. Twin flames can often cause radical personal awakenings for one another because they can see straight through to one another.They’re a perfect match, most specifically with regards to the internal challenges they face, so meeting one another head-on is like being able to face yourself and work through your internal issues.RELATED: 5 Signs That Fear of Being Alone Is The Only Thing Keeping You In A RelationshipAccording to Dr. Lisa Vallejos:“The real purpose of Twin Flame is not about great sex, emotional highs, and an epic love story — it’s to wake you up, shake you up, and call you higher. It is a gift presented by the Divine — one you can only grasp fully when you’ve released all the smaller things you’ve been clinging to for so long that no longer serve you.”In this way, while a life partner is about cultivating a deep connection through love, a twin flame is about cultivating a deep connection through shared pain, understanding, and the growth that comes from that. It’s really about cutting away the layers of noise to get to the truth of your life and all things as a whole.For that reason…2. Your twin flame is supposed to cause you pain – a life partner isn’t (but probably will)Relationships are tough. That’s just the way it is. Even two people who are made for one another, life partners through-and-through, often cause each other quite a bit of pain along the journey of their relationship. It’s inevitable when two people seek to come together in such an intimate fashion that conflict would arise.However, a twin flame is, to some degree, supposed to cause us pain. Without any pain inflicted, we’re probably not going through any real transformation.RELATED: If Your Partner Can’t Say These 7 Things, They Are Probably Not Your SoulmateIt’s in the very definition of intense personal growth that one must experience great pain to realize a great transformation. The pain experienced in a typical relationship with a life partner can and often does help us grow, but it’s more about learning to work together and live with one another.Whereas with the twin flame, it’s about unearthing dirt from one another so that it can be cleansed — but it hurts like hell to raise that dirt before the cleansing.3. A life partner is someone you want to spend your life with, a twin flame is someone you want to get away fromBut that’s not to say you have to follow the desire to flee, which is often the ego’s way of avoiding its own surrender into personal growth. Returning to the twin flame stages, it is possible to reach a level of mutual harmony and calm after the work has been done. But being unable to reach this stage is common — the destiny for some twin flame relationships is for a special moment in time, not necessarily a lifetime.In conclusionTwin flame relationships are rare. It pays to be open-minded, to be self-aware, and to always strive to create meaningful bonds. Relationships can be healthy or unhealthy, regardless of how they’re written in the stars. Although some twin flame signs mirror codependent behavior, its intention is for both people to be free, independent, and self-sustaining — whilst choosing, not needing, each other.The source of a twin flame relationship is a mystery, like one of life’s great existential unknowns. Rather than becoming attached to the story behind the mirror soul, identifying the twin flame signs, and exploring how this relationship can be utilized for mutual growth, is what matters.RELATED: 5 Questions to Ask If You Want to Know If Your Partner Is Your SoulmateWhether approached from the cosmic perspective or the humbling and imperfect attempts to make things work with another human, there’s inspiration to be found in a meaningful narrative. Research The Gottman Institute, a clinical center for relationship health, discovered that relationships most likely to last a long period of time are those that focus on creating something of shared meaning.Ultimately, if the twin flame definition allows for a shared vision, one leading to longevity and growth, that alone is worth its status as something worth exploring.KEEP READING:Your Soulmate Will Destroy ‘You’ – Here’s Why

100 Powerful Motivational Quotes to Help You Rise Above
Motivation

100 Powerful Motivational Quotes to Help You Rise Above

Every member of the human race knows that life can present difficult challenges, often taking all the fun out of our day to day lives. To overcome these obstacles there are a lot of good strategies you can employ, and very often the answer lies within. One great way to dig deep and overcome your difficulties is to get motivated! You may need motivation for work, home life, or simply to gain the extra positive energy necessary to develop success and get through the week. Enjoy the inspirational quotes below, and remember that the only limit to achieving our desires is one of imagination! Create your own happy life by filling it with purpose, and you can achieve excellence and fulfill your own dreams and your own life plan on your terms.Motivational Quotes: Information to Inspire Your LifeThere Is No Greater Thing You Can Do With Your Life And Your Work Than Follow Your Passions – In A Way That Serves The World And You.RICHARD BRANSON (more Richard Branson quotes)Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.ROALD DAHLIf you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one.DOLLY PARTONThe best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.HELEN KELLERLife is a series of baby steps along the way and if you add up these tiny little steps you take toward your goal, whatever it is, whether it's giving up something, a terrible addiction or trying to work your way through an illness.HODA KOTBBe thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.OPRAH WINFREY (more Oprah Winfrey quotes)To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.REBA MCENTIRESuccessful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking: “What’s in it for me?”BRIAN TRACYThe biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.OPRAH WINFREYAs soon as something stops being fun, I think it’s time to move on. Life is too short to be unhappy. Waking up stressed and miserable is not a good way to live.RICHARD BRANSON"Life's most persistent and urgent question is, '"What are you doing for others?""MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. (more Martin Luther King, Jr. quotes)"I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed."MICHAEL JORDAN"Nothing can dim the light that shines from within."MAYA ANGELOU"It's not what we have in life but who we have in our life that matters."MARGARET LAURENCE"Embrace the glorious mess that you are."ELIZABETH GILBERT"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory."DR. SEUSS"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."HELEN KELLER"Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it."CHARLES SWINDOLL"Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant."ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON"Without passion, you don’t have energy. Without energy, you have nothing."WARREN BUFFETT (more Warren Buffett quotes)"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently."WARREN BUFFETT"Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."DALE CARNEGIEWork for that feeling that you have accomplished something…Don’t waste your time on this earth without making a mark.JOE ROGAN"Life is not fair, get used to it!"BILL GATES"The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."RALPH WALDO EMERSON"Live for each second without hesitation."ELTON JOHNWe define ourselves far too often by our past failures. That’s not you. You are this person right now. You’re the person who has learned from those failures.JOE ROGAN"You don’t need to be better than anyone else, you just need to be better than you used to be."WAYNE DYERSuccess Quotes To Inspire and Help You Overcome RoadblocksFor some, there is only one motivation that they need, and that’s providing for their family. For others (like Elon Musk, for example) motivation can be harder to come by - especially if your goal is to move the human race forward and onto Mars!. Everyone feels like quitting at some point, and no one has all the answers. And even though it can be tempting to get under the blanket and shut out the world sometimes, quitting won’t make the challenges go away. If you give zero effort, you’ll have exactly the same number of chances at getting what you want.Use these motivational quotes for work, for your personal life, and for anything that requires that extra boost of motivation.When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favour.ELON MUSK (more Elon Musk quotes)Talent is god-given. Be humble. Fame is Man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.JOHN WOODENEverything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.WAYNE DYERThe Pessimist Sees Difficulty In Every Opportunity. The Optimist Sees Opportunity In Every Difficulty.WINSTON CHURCHILL (more Winston Churchill quotes)If you can tune into your purpose and really align with it, setting goals so that your vision is an expression of that purpose, then life flows much more easily.JACK CANFIELDWhatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.NAPOLEON HILL (more Napoleon Hill quotes)A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.TONY ROBBINS (more Tony Robbins quotes)Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.HENRY DAVID THOREAUBy recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands – your own.MARK VICTOR HANSENLife is what happens when you're busy making other plans.JOHN LENNONYou will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.CHARLES BUXTONYou cannot afford to live in potential for the rest of your life; at some point, you have to unleash the potential and make your move.ERIC THOMASNothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.CALVIN COOLIDGEThere is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.PAULO COELHOBelieve in yourself. You are braver than you think, more talented than you know, and capable of more than you imagine.ROY T. BENNETTThe best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.SWATI SHARMAYou can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.DALE CARNEGIEI can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.JIMMY DEANNothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I’m possible'!AUDREY HEPBURN(Derek Hudson / Contributor / Getty)Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.HENRY FORDEverything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.GEORGE ADDAIRBelieve in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.NORMAN VINCENT PEALEIf you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you.LES BROWNSomeone else’s success does not equal a failure for you.JOE ROGANSuccess is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.WINSTON S. CHURCHILLTry not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.ALBERT EINSTEINYour time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.STEVE JOBSDon't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.JOHN D. ROCKEFELLERThe most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.ALICE WALKERYou have to see failure as the beginning and the middle, but never entertain it as an end.JESSICA HERRIN, FOUNDER AND CEO OF STELLA & DOTInspirational Quotes About Persevering Through Difficulty: From Albert Einstein to Babe RuthIt may be just an opinion, but a so-called “minimum wage work ethic” will not get you want you want (or deserve!). Use the following handpicked motivational quotes to inspire you to not give up, but rather, to come through the other side and emerge as a winner!I like criticism. It makes you strong.LEBRON JAMESA person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.ALBERT EINSTEINNever give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.WINSTON CHURCHILLOur greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.THOMAS EDISONIt is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.ARISTOTLE ONASSISIt’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.VINCE LOMBARDIWhen everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.HENRY FORDIf you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.VINCENT VAN GOGHOur greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.CONFUCIUSHardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.C.S. LEWISWhen you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELTIt always seems impossible until it’s done.NELSON MANDELAThe greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.NELSON MANDELAHard times don’t create heroes. It is during the hard times when the ‘hero’ within us is revealed.BOB RILEYStrength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.MAHATMA GANDHIYou’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events.JOEL OSTEENEvery problem is a gift –- without problems we would not grow.TONY ROBBINSTwenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did.MARK TWAIN (more Mark Twain quotes)Believe you can and you’re halfway there.THEODORE ROOSEVELTIt’s not about perfect. It’s about effort. And when you bring that effort every single day, that’s where transformation happens. That’s how change occurs.JILLIAN MICHAELSThe man who says he can, and the man who says he can’t are both correct.CONFUCIUSNever give up. You only get one life. Go for it!RICHARD E. GRANTYou just can’t beat the person who never gives up.BABE RUTHIf you can’t, you must. If you must, you can.TONY ROBBINSIt is never too late to be what you might have been.GEORGE ELIOTYou don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.RICHARD BRANSONOnly those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.ROBERT F. KENNEDYMotivational Quotes for Women - From Eleanor Roosevelt to Lady GagaWe all look forward to strong, successful and independent women. But have you ever wondered how they managed to become strong and successful? Here are some motivational quotes about success for you to achieve your ambitious goals from some of the most impressive women throughout history.If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.MAYA ANGELOU (more Maya Angelou quotes)Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.MARGARET MEAD (more Margaret Mead quotes)Life imposes things on you that you can’t control, but you still have the choice of how you’re going to live through this.CELINE DIONDo all the good you can, for all the people you can, in all the ways you can, as long as you can.HILLARY CLINTONNever give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.HARRIET BEECHER STOWEI've always been famous, it's just no one knew it yet.LADY GAGA (more Lady Gaga quotes)Any actress who appears in public without being well-groomed is digging her own grave.JOAN CRAWFORDFame is not the glory! Virtue is the goal, and fame only a messenger, to bring more to the fold.VANNA BONTAOptimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.HELEN KELLERMy mother told me to be a lady. And for her, that meant be your own person, be independent.RUTH BADER GINSBERGHappiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and enjoying it for everything that it is.MANDY HALEWith the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.ELEANOR ROOSEVELTWithout an open-minded mind, you can never be a great success.MARTHA STEWARTIf you do things well, do them better. Be daring, be first, be different, be just.ANITA RODDICKThe most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.AMELIA EARHARTWe may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.MAYA ANGELOUFearlessness is like a muscle. I know from my own life that the more I exercise it the more natural it becomes to not let my fears run me. ARIANNA HUFFINGTONLife is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain.VIVIAN GREENEBelieve in yourself, take on your challenges, dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. Never let anyone bring you down. You got to keep going.CHANTAL SUTHERLANDWe don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.BARBARA DE ANGELISI may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.CATHERINE THE GREATNo one can make you feel inferior without your consent.ELEANOR ROOSEVELTA woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.DIANE MARIECHILDWhatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.CHARLOTTE WHITTONI want to do is because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others.AMELIA EARHARTSome women choose to follow men, and some choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.LADY GAGAAny woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country.MARGARET THATCHER (more Margaret Thatcher quotes)Motivational Quotes for Business Starting a business is tough, but if you want to change the world and make money while you’re at it, you might need some inspirational quotes and motivational quotes to get you going. You can not only plan to be a success, you can plan to succeed beyond your wildest dreams! Who knows – you could be the next Steve Jobs! Let these quotes for business inspire you, remind you of why you started in the first place, and get you out of your comfort zone.Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.GEORGE HERBERTYou don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.ZIG ZIGLARLife is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.HELLEN KELLERPlay by the rules, but be ferocious.PHIL KNIGHTEvery problem is a gift—without problems we would not grow.ANTHONY ROBBINSYou only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don’t do too many things wrong.WARREN BUFFETTSuccess usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.HENRY DAVID THOREAUAnd the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.ANAÏS NINYou cannot afford to live in potential for the rest of your life; at some point, you have to unleash the potential and make your move.ERIC THOMASDon’t settle for what life gives you; make life better and build something.ASHTON KUTCHERTwenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.MARK TWAINPress forward. Do not stop, do not linger in your journey, but strive for the mark set before you.GEORGE WHITEFIELDWhen you know what you want, and want it bad enough, you’ll find a way to get it.JIM ROHNFortune always favours the brave, and never helps a man who does not help himself.P. T. BARNUMMany of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.THOMAS A. EDISONMost of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.DALE CARNEGIEWhen obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal; you do not change your decision to get there.ZIG ZIGLARSuccess is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.PELECharacter cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.HELEN KELLERSuccess is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.WINSTON CHURCHILLI am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.STEPHEN COVEYThe road to success and the road to failure are almost exactly the same.COLIN R. DAVISOpportunities don't happen. You create them.CHRIS GROSSERIt is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.HERMAN MELVILLEI’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.MICHAEL JORDANBusiness opportunities are like buses, there’s always another one coming.RICHARD BRANSONThere are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work and learning from failure.COLIN POWELLThe only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.VIDAL SASSOONThere’s no shortage of remarkable ideas, what’s missing is the will to execute them.SETH GODINMotivational Quotes for College Students - Quotes About Life in School and BeyondBeing a college student is stressful. After all, preparing for the real world is not an easy job! We can all use a little bit of help getting through, so check out these motivational quotes about life to keep you resilient.A winner is a dreamer who never gives up.NELSON MANDELA(Gideon Mendel / Getty)Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.OG MANDINOIt never gets easier. You just get better.JORDAN HOECHLINThe true success is the person who invented himself.AL GOLDSTEINAll progress takes place outside the comfort zone.MICHAEL JOHN BOBAKMake the most of yourself….for that is all there is of you.RALPH WALDO EMERSONDefiniteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement.W. CLEMENT STONEThe future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELTLittle minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune, but great minds rise above them.WASHINGTON IRVINGReal difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.THEODORE N. VAILWith realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.Dalai LamaBelieve in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.CHRISTIAN D. LARSONAll our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.WALT DISNEYIt does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.CONFUCIUSEvery problem is a gift –- without problems we would not grow.TONY ROBBINSDon’t wish it were easier. Wish you were better.JIM ROHNTwenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did.MARK TWAINChallenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.JOSHUA MARINELearn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now.DENIS WAITLEYBelieve you can and you’re halfway there.THEODORE ROOSEVELTIt’s not about perfect. It’s about effort. And when you bring that effort every single day, that’s where transformation happens. That’s how change occurs.JILLIAN MICHAELSIt is never too late to be what you might have been.GEORGE ELIOTYou don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.RICHARD BRANSONCollege is the reward for surviving high school.JUDD APATOWEducation is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.MALCOLM XEvery year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you.JOHN GREENStriving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest when you haven't planted.DAVID BLYCollege inspired me to think differently. It's like no other time in your life.LARA OLEYNIKMotivational Quotes from CelebritiesEveryone looks for a little wisdom and inspiration now and then, even celebrities. Here are some of the top motivational quotes from celebrities to push you forward on your journey to success. Allow these inspirational quotes to fill your mind with clarity and purpose, straight from Hollywood.You never really learn much from hearing yourself speak.GEORGE CLOONEYDon’t settle for what life gives you; make life better and build something.ASHTON KUTCHERLove yourself first and everything else falls into line.LUCILLE BALLDon't give it five minutes if you're not going to give it five years.MEGHAN MARKLE​Every day is not a success. Every year is not a success. You have to celebrate the good.REESE WITHERSPOONSuccess is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.COCO CHANELI refuse to accept other people’s ideas of happiness for me. As if there’s a ‘one size fits all’ standard for happiness.KANYE WESTLife is being on the wire, everything else is just waiting.KARL WALLENDALife is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.DENIS WAITLEYIt is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.J.K. ROWLINGWhen you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.ELLEN DEGENERES Life imposes things on you that you can’t control, but you still have the choice of how you’re going to live through this.CELINE DIONStick around. Don’t lose your heart, just keep going, keep at it.MARK RUFFALOI'd rather be called a boy and play with paper airplanes than be called a man and play with a girl's heart.NIALL HORANI don’t like to share my personal life… it wouldn’t be personal if I shared it.GEORGE CLOONEYThe image is one thing and the human being is another. It's very hard to live up to an image, put it that way.ELVIS PRESLEYI've always been famous, it's just no one knew it yet.LADY GAGAAny actress who appears in public without being well-groomed is digging her own grave.JOAN CRAWFORDFame is not the glory! Virtue is the goal, and fame only a messenger, to bring more to the fold.VANNA BONTAYour imperfections make you beautiful, they make you who you are. So just be yourself, love yourself for who you are and just keep going.DEMI LOVATONo matter how talented you are, not everybody is going to like you. But that’s life, just stay strong.JUSTIN BIEBERDon’t feel stupid if you don’t like what everyone else pretends to love.EMMA WATSONIf you can do what you do best and be happy, you are further along in life than most people.LEONARDO DICAPRIOIgnore the naysayers. Really the only option is, head down and focus on the job.CHRIS PINEI’ve learned it’s important not to limit yourself. You can do whatever you really love to do, no matter what it is.RYAN GOSLINGI can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be herself.EMMA STONEI’m a big believer in accepting yourself and not really worrying about it.JENNIFER LAWRENCEI don’t do things for the response or the controversy. I just live my life.RIHANNAMotivational Quotes for EntrepreneursPlanting a sapling and starting your own business are similar in terms of growth. First, you need to invest money and time. Then, gently taking care of your new project, you must build with no expectations in return. During the entrepreneurial journey, you may require constant motivation. Here is a collection of motivational quotes for entrepreneurs to help you keep the fires burning bright. Hopefully, these inspirational quotes will help you so that you never lose the passion you need to succeed.I never dreamed about success. I worked for it.ESTÉE LAUDERDon’t let others convince you that the idea is good when your gut tells you it’s bad.KEVIN ROSE, CO-FOUNDED DIGGThink big and don’t listen to people who tell you it can’t be done. Life is too short to think small.TIM FERRISSI owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.G.K. CHESTERTONI don’t know the word ‘quit.’ Either I never did, or I have abolished it.SUSAN BUTCHERFar and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.THEODORE ROOSEVELTIf you really look closely, most overnight successes took a long time.STEVE JOBSAlmost everything worthwhile carries with it some sort of risk, whether it’s starting a new business, whether it’s leaving home, whether it’s getting married, or whether it’s flying into space.CHRIS HADFIELDEven if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.WILL RODGERSThe real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.BARACK OBAMAWinners never quit and quitters never win.VINCE LOMBARDIThe first man gets the oyster, the second man gets the shell.ANDREW CARNEGIEThe way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.WALT DISNEYSuccess depends on employees. For me knowing and connecting with my employees is very important.DIVINE NDHLUKULA, FOUNDER AND MANAGING DIRECTOR OF DDNS SECURITY OPERATIONS LTDLimitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.JAMIE PAOLINETTIDo not focus on numbers. Focus on doing what you do best. It’s about building a community who want to visit your site every day because you create value and offer expertise.CASSEY HO, FOUNDER OF BLOGILATES.COMYou have to see failure as the beginning and the middle, but never entertain it as an end.JESSICA HERRIN, FOUNDER AND CEO OF STELLA & DOTIn the age of transparency, honesty, and generosity, even in the form of an apology, generate goodwill.ALEXANDER ASSEILY, FOUNDER OF JAWBONEIf you know too much before the start, then you will get overwhelmed. Come up with an original idea, and don’t copy because there will be no passion. You need that otherworldly passion. Just start.JENI BRITTON BAUERDon’t try to do everything by yourself, but try to connect with people and resources. Having that discipline and perseverance is really important.CHIEU CAOIt’s necessary to find a mentor who can invest time to know your personal capabilities and business model.NIGEL DAVIES, FOUNDER OF CLAROMENTISDon’t get distracted. Never tell yourself that you need to be the biggest brand in the whole world. Start by working on what you need at the present moment and then what you need to do tomorrow. So, set yourself manageable targets.JAS BAGNIEWSKI, CO-FOUNDER OF EVE SLEEPYou have to get good at ceding control and not taking things personally. Even seasoned entrepreneurs have struggled with that. I think it’s about not taking failures personally and also not taking successes personally.LEILA JANAH, FOUNDER OF SAMASOURCE AND LXMIYour ability to attract, evaluate, and forge strong working relationships with co-founders, early employees, and investors often mean the difference between failure and success.CLARA SHIH, CO-FOUNDER OF HEARSAY SYSTEMSMy advice is to focus on the importance of forging a long-term relationship, whether with colleagues, partners, or customers. It is often easy to get caught up in short-term decisions.SHEILA LIRIO MARCELO, FOUNDER OF CARE.COMIf you’re starting something on your own, you better have a passion for it, because this is hard work.SALLIE KRAWCHECK, CO-FOUNDER OF ELLEVESTBe nicer to your customers than your competitors.RICHARD REED, CO-FOUNDER OF INNOCENT DRINKS

Everything You Need to Know About the Enneagram Personality Test
Self-Development

Everything You Need to Know About the Enneagram Personality Test

To learn more about yourself generally leads to self-improvement.However, most such opportunities for self-improvement can’t be controlled because they are usually tied to a life experience.It’s like a sound wave bouncing around a room. We can’t see the room– ourselves– but every time the wave bounces off a surface– an experience– we gain information about that area of the room. The more things we experience, the more we learn about ourselves.But there are other good ways to learn more about ourselves. One of the most effective is to take personality tests based on the latest scientific research, which range from IQ tests to emotional intelligence ones.One of the best personality tests ever created is The Enneagram personality test.Personality is to a man what perfume is to a flower.– Charles M. SchwabWhat is the Enneagram personality test?The Riso-Hudson Enneagram Type Indicator, RHETI, or simply Enneagram personality test, was created by the Enneagram Institute as a way to categorize the major personality types which are formed in children around the age of five years old (and then further developed, but never fully changed, after that).“From one point of view, the Enneagram can be seen as a set of nine distinct personality types, with each number on the Enneagram denoting one type.It is common to find a little of yourself in all nine of the types, although one of them should stand out as being closest to yourself. This is your basic personality type,” according to Enneagraminstitute.com.However, your own personality isn’t so simple. Every person, the institute explains, has “wings” or associated personality types:"No one is a pure personality type: everyone is a unique mixture of his or her basic type and usually one of the two types adjacent to it on the circumference of the Enneagram. One of the two types adjacent to your basic type is called your wing."Personality types with similarities were designed specifically to cluster together (or cross, in some cases), so your own personality will likely be more of an "area" or shape on the Enneagram spectrum. However, we all have one dominant Enneagram personality type.The 9 Enneagram personality typesThe nine official Enneagram personality types are:1. The ReformerReformers are rational idealists. They’re principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionists. They have a strong sense of right and wrong and tend to be crusaders for a cause.Positive qualities: Wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic.Basic Fear: Of being corrupt/evil, defectiveBasic Desire: To be good, to have integrity, to be balancedKey motivations: Want to be right, to strive higher and improve everything, to be consistent with their ideals, to justify themselves, to be beyond criticism so as not to be condemned by anyone.Other Reformers: Confucius, Plato, Joan of Arc, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martha Stewart, Meryl Streep2. The HelperHelpers are the caring, empathetic, and interpersonal type. They’re generous, people-pleasing, and can also be possessive.Positive qualities: Unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.Basic fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being lovedBasic desire: To feel lovedKey motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves.Other Helpers: Bishop Desmond Tutu, Eleanor Roosevelt, Stevie Wonder, Barry Manilow, Dolly Parton3. The AchieverAchievers are very driven, success-oriented, pragmatic types. They’re adaptable, image-conscious, and tend to be energetic.Positive qualities: Self-accepting, authentic, everything they seem to be—role models who inspire others.Basic fear: Of being worthlessBasic desire: To feel valuable and worthwhileKey motivations: Want to be affirmed, to distinguish themselves from others, to have attention, to be admired, and to impress others.Other Achievers: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Muhammad Ali, Oprah Winfrey, Tony Robbins, Michael Jordan, Elvis Presley, Madonna4. The IndividualistIndividualists are sensitive, introspective types. They’re expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental. They’re very self-aware and emotionally honest people.Positive qualities: Inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.Basic fear: That they have no identity or personal significanceBasic desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)Key motivations: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else.Other Individualists: Edgar Allan Poe, Virginia Woolf, Frida Kahlo, Judy Garland, Bob Dylan, Stevie Nicks, Prince, Johnny Depp5. The InvestigatorInvestigators are intense, focused types. They’re very perceptive, innovative, secretive, and can be isolated. They have the ability to concentrate effectively on a task and come up with creative solutions.Positive qualities: Visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time, and able to see the world in an entirely new way.Basic fear: Being useless, helpless, or incapableBasic desire: To be capable and competentKey motivations: Want to possess knowledge, to understand the environment, to have everything figured out as a way of defending the self from threats from the environment.Other Investigators: Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Emily Dickinson, Stephen King, Bill Gates, Jane Goodall, Jodie Foster6. The LoyalistLoyalists are committed and security-oriented types. They’re engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious. They’re also very hardworking and responsible.Positive qualities: Internally stable and self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others.Basic fear: Of being without support and guidanceBasic desire: To have security and supportKey motivations: Want to have security, to feel supported by others, to have certitude and reassurance, to test the attitudes of others toward them, to fight against anxiety and insecurity.Other Loyalists: Mark Twain, Sigmund Freud, Malcolm X, Diana, Princess of Wales, J.R.R. Tolkien, Bruce Springsteen, Spike Lee7. EnthusiastEnthusiasts are busy, spontaneous-types. They’re versatile, acquisitive, and can be scattered. They tend to be extroverts and are very optimistic and playful.Positive qualities: They focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.Basic fear: Of being deprived and in painBasic desire: To be satisfied and content—to have their needs fulfilledKey motivations: Want to maintain their freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences, to keep themselves excited and occupied, to avoid and discharge pain.Other Enthusiasts: The 14th Dalai Lama, Galileo Galilei, W.A. Mozart, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Robin Williams8. The ChallengerChallengers are powerful, dominating types. They tend to have great self-confidence and are decisive, willful, and often confrontational. They can be very resourceful, protective, and sometimes egotistical.Positive qualities: Self-mastering, they use their strength to improve others' lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring.Basic fear: Of being harmed or controlled by othersBasic desire: To protect themselves (to be in control of their own life and destiny)Key motivations: Want to be self-reliant, to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be important in their world, to dominate the environment, and to stay in control of their situation.Other Challengers: Franklin D. Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King Jr., Ernest Hemingway, Serena Williams9. The PeacemakerPeacemakers are easygoing, stable, and optimistic types. They’re receptive, reassuring, agreeable, and complacent. They’re usually creative, supportive, and tend to prefer to keep the peace more than express a disagreement.Positive qualities: Indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.Basic fear: Of loss and separationBasic desire: To have inner stability "peace of mind"Key motivations: Want to create harmony in their environment, to avoid conflicts and tension, to preserve things as they are, to resist whatever would upset or disturb them.Other Peacemakers: Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Joseph Campbell, Walt DisneyWhich personality type are you?Ready to find out your personality type and discover your own unique qualities? Go to the Enneagram Institute’s course page to take the test yourself and start your own journey of self-discovery.

Relationship Goals: Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka's Romance Was Built on Open Communication
Love Stories

Relationship Goals: Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka's Romance Was Built on Open Communication

Welcome to #RelationshipGoals, where we’re giving the stage to the power couples we admire. From admirable long-term relationships to inspirational newlyweds, these are the couples we love and hope to take cues from in our own relationships.It seems customary during Halloween time each year to look forward to the next over-the-top costume ensemble from Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka’s family of four, with twins Gideon and Harper.But how did one of the most high-profile couples in Hollywood get their start?“I ran into my friend Kate one day and she was with this brooding, James Dean–type guy in a leather jacket who gave me the head nod and then turned away,” Harris told Out magazine. “I assumed he was Kate’s boyfriend and said, ‘Nicely done.’ And she said, ‘David? He’s not playing on my team, but he has a boyfriend.’”“I was performing in the Sam Mendes version of Gypsy on Broadway when I ran into Neil on the street. He was doing the Mendes version of Cabaret at the time,” said Burtka. “I wasn’t a big Doogie Howser fan -- I had probably seen it once or twice when I was growing up -- so I gave him a, ‘Hey, what’s up, nice to meet you,’ and that was really it. I thought it would be nice to know him, but I didn’t think in a million years I’d start dating him.”Why Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka are a true power couple:A week after the two had lunch together as friends, Burtka broke with his boyfriend at the time and the two went out officially for the first time. “I think it was Taking Lives with Angelina Jolie,” says Burtka. “We started hanging out every single night, and after three months, it was just non-stop.”Two years later, after Harris had snagged the role of Barney in “How I Met Your Mother”, the pair packed up their things and made the long trip from NYC to LA, where they stayed for the next decade."I assumed the show would be a short chapter," Harris told Architectural Digest. "But the plan was always to come back to New York when the show ended and raise our family."Along the way, Harris officially came out in an interview with People and both Harris and Burtka each proposed to one another.“We were on our way to an event at an Indian casino 45 minutes out of town in a limousine, and David wanted to stop for some reason that I didn’t quite get,” said Harris to Out. “And then he got on one knee and proposed, and I was so freaked out by it that I said, ‘Yes,’ but I didn’t know what it meant...and a year later, on Valentine’s Day, I proposed to him in Santa Monica.”Four years later, on October 12th, 2010, the couple welcomed fraternal twins, son Gideon Scott and daughter Harper Grace. "We named Gideon after an artist we collect, Gideon Rubin, and Harper after Harper Lee. ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ is one of our favorite books,” said Harris.And on September 2014, the couple finally tied the knot with a ceremony in Perugia, Italy, serenaded by the one and only Elton John.“There’s something kinetic about him and his being. He’s classically sexy, yet he’s very much a boy in his energy. It’s a great dynamic,” says Harris of Burtka. “When I see people who are equally attractive, they tend to seem more quiet and kind of Marlboro Man-y, and David’s the antithesis of that. He’s more like Tigger. I’m, in turn, very introspective -- the thinker, rather than the doer...We’re hyper similar and also incredibly opposite.”“We are, in a way, very codependent. He’s my lifeline, in an amazing way. Without him, I can’t breathe,” says Burtka of Harris. “Don’t get me wrong– we fight. Our fights last five minutes, then we’re over it. And we’re both Gemini -- we have a good twin and a bad twin, and the four of us get along really well!”All the times they inspired us with their love“I initially fell for David harder than he fell for me,” says Harris. “I remember saying, ‘I think I love you,’ and he was like, ‘That’s really nice,’ which is not necessarily what you want to hear. But I appreciated his honesty in not jumping the gun and saying something because he felt obliged to.”Harris says that he values authenticity and, if their relationship has a fault, it’s over-communication.“When I’m cranky, I’m admittedly cranky. When I’m in a hurry and distracted, I can’t act like it’s any other way. And he’s good with that, too,” says Harris. “So we talk things out. I don’t want to paint our relationship like we met and it’s been happy family fantastic-ness ever since. What defines a relationship is the work that’s involved to maintain it, and it’s constantly changing.”Burtka, who has struggled with alcoholism in the past, says that when he and Harris had the twins, it was time to give it up drinking good. "It just didn't mix well with me anymore," he told NY Daily News. "I didn't like the way I was acting and I think it was affecting me and I thought, 'You know what? I owe it to myself. I owe it to my kids, to be there, 100%.'"It’s hard to catch Harris or Burtka on Instagram apart from their kids, who both say children were always part of the plan for them.“Even on that first date, we talked about kids,” says Burtka. “I always thought that family was the most important thing in life, and no matter what I do, whether being a chef or an actor or a dancer, being a dad is what I do best.”And Harris said they both knew they wanted to become dads early on so they could, “Enjoy the process and to be young and vibrant enough to throw a ball with them, or to chase them around without using a walker.”The couple, who this year will soon celebrate their 15-year anniversary and who just celebrated their 4-year wedding anniversary this past September, say they’re looking forward to what the future will bring."Four years ago today. How time flies -- especially when you have someone special to share it with. After 14 years, two children, and thousands of adventures together, I've never been happier. Happy anniversary, David. Thank you for saying 'I do'. #grateful#love@dbelicious," Harris captioned on Instagram.That day, Burtka echoed the sentiment: "@nph I am so very proud of us. Being in a relationship is hard work. There are many stresses to juggle within these 14 years. We have dealt with kids growing up, new jobs, the media, moving and even dogs pooping on the rugs. These last four years our marriage has had its ups and downs. I can't wait to see what the next chapter holds. I love you."Their biggest relationship takeawayBeing one of the highest profile relationships in Hollywood, Harris and Burtka have had more than just the average relationship challenges to surmount.However, despite them, the couple’s maturity and love for one another has helped guide them to create a bond between themselves, and a family, that prioritizes their goals instead of the drama.“I don’t want people to think we’re a perfect couple. Nothing’s perfect,” says Burtka on overcoming the challenges of being in a long-term relationship. “A relationship is work and it changes. And you go with the changes. It’s more good times than bad times, but it’s not always good. You have to overcome those issues and move on.”“We have a really great recipe for a wonderful relationship, but we don’t want to be the poster boys for gay relationships,” he continues. “We’re not trying to pretend that we are perfect. We’re just trying -- in a good, positive, loving way– to live our lives.”

Diet & Exercise

What is Intuitive Eating and Can It Help You Become Fitter and Healthier?

Does it seem like every diet you’ve ever tried just...doesn’t work?Maybe you’ve had some results in the past. But quickly they wear off because the diet is completely unsustainable (I’m looking at you, lemonade diet) or it just doesn’t work for you like it, apparently, worked for others.The truth is, dieting often doesn’t work. In fact, it’s been shown more often in studies to lead to weight gain. “Study after study, shows that dieting and food restriction for the purpose of weight loss leads to more weight gain,” say intuitive eating founders Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch.So then, what’s the alternative? If jumping on every next diet fad has got you tired and frustrated, intuitive eating might just be a breath of fresh air. What is intuitive eating?According to Tribole and Resch, intuitive eating is “an evidenced-based, mind-body health approach.” “Intuitive eating is a dynamic integration between mind and body. The principles work by either cultivating or removing obstacles to body awareness, a process known as interoceptive awareness.,” continue Tribole and Resch. “Intuitive Eating is a personal process of honoring health by listening and responding to the direct messages of the body in order to meet your physical and psychological needs.”Tribole and Resch are quick to mention that intuitive eating is not a diet or food plan but an approach to health, both physical and psychological. It’s a journey of discovering your body as well as your mind, learning about your relationship with food and your behavior in connection with it.“Ultimately, you are the expert of your body. Only you know what hunger, fullness, and satisfaction feels like. Only you know your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Intuitive Eating is an empowerment tool–it’s time to unleash it and liberate yourself from the prison of diet culture and weight obsession.”The 10 principles of intuitive eatingAs we talked about earlier, intuitive eating isn’t a diet plan or nutritional framework. That’s great, but how do you follow an intuitive eating approach with only vague guidelines?That’s where Tribole and Resch’s ‘10 principles of intuitive eating’ come in. The duo created ten principles which offer clear guidelines for applying the principles of intuitive eating.The ten principles are: 1. Reject the diet mentality“Throw out the diet books and magazine articles that offer you false hope of losing weight quickly, easily, and permanently,” say Tribole and Resch. By buying into the hope of a new diet fad, you lose touch with intuitive eating. You need to trust yourself -- your body and your mind. 2. Honor your hunger“Keep your body biologically fed with adequate energy and carbohydrates. Otherwise, you can trigger a primal drive to overeat,” say Tribole and Resch. In other words, eat when you’re hungry and never starve yourself. If you let yourself get to the point of starving, your brain and body go into a state that loses all sense of moderation and overheating happens. 3. Make peace with foodSimilar to the previous point, but more centered around fatty or unhealthy cravings, if you attempt to withhold a craving for the sake of sticking to a diet, you’re much more likely to binge on that food and end up overdoing it. Instead, if you allow yourself to have that craving periodically, you’ll stay in better control of your body. 4. Challenge the food policeChallenge your preconceived notions about how you should and should not be eating, especially those born from society or the “Food Police” as Tribole and Resch refer to it. “The police station is housed deep in your psyche, and its loud speaker shouts negative barbs, hopeless phrases, and guilt-provoking indictments.”5. Respect your fullnessLearn to observe closely to the feeling of fullness and respect that feeling. When your body is telling you that it doesn’t want any more, stop. Many of us keep eating after we feel a bit of fullness because the food in front of us either isn’t all eaten or it still looks tasty. Instead, listen to your body to become better aware of your fullness level throughout each meal and listen to what your body is telling you. 6. Discover the satisfaction factorLearn to connect with the feeling of being satisfied to reduce overeating and improve your relationship with food. To do this, allow yourself to eat more of the foods you enjoy in an environment that is most enjoyable.“By providing this experience for yourself, you will find that it takes much less food to decide you’ve had ‘enough’.”7. Honor your feelings without using foodMany of us turn to food to cope with difficult emotions such as sadness, loneliness, anger, or anxiety. Instead, find practices and habits you can adopt that allow you to work through emotional challenges without needing to resort to food. Practices include:Mindfulness meditationJournallingTalking to a supportive friend who is a good listenerReflecting your strengths and individual worth8. Respect your bodyDespite what magazines and Instagram might seem to be telling you, there is no ideal body size, shape, or weight. It’s unrealistic and damaging for someone with a larger body size to think that they’re “supposed” to be smaller and that there’s something wrong with them if they aren’t.Instead of focusing on getting small, focus on getting healthy and learning to respect your body. 9. Exercise“Forget militant exercise,” say Tribole and Resch. “Just get active and feel the difference. Shift your focus to how it feels to move your body, rather than the calorie burning effect of exercise.”By shifting your focus to simply getting active and enjoying it– not only being active but how it makes you feel afterwards– you’ll find yourself making exercise a way of life with much less effort. 10. Honor your healthIt’s not about a single snack, meal, or even a day of eating. None of those things will change your health or body in the long run. Instead, it’s about your habits and consistent choices over a long period of time, so focus on honoring your health by making food choices that are both more nutrient-dense and taste great.

7 Things That Happen When You Try to Rush a Relationship
Dating

7 Things That Happen When You Try to Rush a Relationship

Some things in life need a good push to get going.Like your career, your motivation, or my grandpa after Thanksgiving dinner. But other things require time and their own uncorrupted environment to grow and form and work their magic.Of all of those things in life which require such an ideal, untainted environment -- organic life and success to name just two -- love is perhaps the most misunderstood.Many of us think that we can work a relationship the same way we work our job or build a house. All you need to do is put the pieces into place as fast as possible and you’ll be done sooner than later. Right?Wrong. A relationship needs that time and ideal environment of respect, healthy boundaries, and patience to blossom into real love. Without it, it simply never happens.When people say 'marriage' to me... It's always a means to an end. Everyone's so in a rush to define the relationship.Lady GagaBut what exactly happens when you rush a relationship? In case you weren’t yet convinced, there are a few things (and hint: none of them are good).Here are 7 things that happen when you try to rush a relationship. 1. You can push the person awayForget making the relationship unhealthy. If you try to rush the relationship, there’s a good chance they’ll just pick up and scram. Being rushed into love feels unnatural because it is unnatural. Intuitively we know that a relationship needs to move at its own pace. So, when someone is actively trying to push us into situations we just don’t feel comfortable with, we begin to be turned off by the person themselves and feel they only have their own desires in mind and aren’t thinking about us at all. 2. You become less attractive Trying too hard is rarely attractive and that remains so even once you get together.By trying to push the relationship along some of that solid gold paint you’re covered in, during a time when you both should simply be enjoying falling for one another, starts to chip away and the person begins to see you as a different person: desperate, needy, and selfish. 3. You cloud your own emotionsWhen you try to rush a relationship, you also confuse yourself a bit. It’s hard to act naturally and intuitively when you place yourself into situations that feel forced and fabricated. And the more this goes on, the harder it is to tell if you’re with the person because you really like them or what you feel at all. 4. You create an environment where love can’t blossomLove is elusive and it works on its own clock. When you try to force interactions or feelings or certain steps in a relationship before it’s time or when they’re not appropriate, you tamper with that relationship and make it to where it’s very difficult for real love to blossom.Ironically, killing what you really wanted. 5. You could miss out on The OneTheoretically, you’re with the person because you like them a lot, right? Well, that might have been why you got together, but it’s not why you’re trying to rush the relationship.The truth is, people tend to rush relationships because of a deeply-seated preconceived notion about what they need to make them happy. They believe that, without a relationship, happiness will remain a far-off dream. So, they rush toward love and a long-term relationship thinking that, once they arrive, magic will spring from the Earth and Heaven will rain down. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Heaven comes to those who are patient enough to allow the steps to build themselves as they will and rushing toward it with just anyone you kind of like isn’t enough to get you there. You can’t settle in love, but you can settle in a relationship and miss out on the real love of your life. That’s the real tragedy. 6. You create an unhealthy relationship patternIf you’re trying to rush into a relationship with one person, as we just talked about, it’s not because of the relationship -- it’s because of what’s going on inside of you. For that reason, if you don’t attack the behavior from the root, you’re likely to fall victim to it yet again when your next crush comes around. Each time you do this, you ruin the chance at something special with the person, whether there was something special there to begin with or not.7. You miss out, or mess up, other important momentsThere are important moments in a relationship that most people don’t even notice. Some are small and perhaps seem insignificant, but they mean something more important as a part of the whole and help build a greater relationship narrative between the two of you that strengthens your bond and therefore helps build the relationship.Even if the person is perfect for you, by rushing the relationship, you can totally screw up the order in which things need to happen, causing trust issues, awkward moments that lead your partner to question your motives, or just make them feel uncomfortable with the relationship as a whole.If you’re serious about the relationship, you have to take that leap of faith and let it develop at its own speed. You can’t keep someone at your side by grasping onto them. Only by letting them fly and showing them you respect their space and their feelings can you build a real, healthy long-term relationship.