6 Tips to Improve Your Conversations and Make Lasting Impressions
It turns out that making simple conversation is not as simple as some would think. Recently, I was able to witness how sometimes even successful people with a great bundle of knowledge in various topics cannot build an engaging conversation.
That led me to think about what qualities make a person good at conversations. Going through my mind and remembering all the people who had a great impression on me, I highlighted a few points that might be helpful to build a great conversation.
6 Simple Tips to Improve Your Conversations and Make Lasting Impressions
Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.- Margaret Millar
1. Know your audience
Imagine you are selling vacuum cleaners. Would you target teenagers studying at high school? Surely not. The same applies when you build a conversation. You might have experienced it before when a person with different passions from you keeps going on about something without taking note of your lack of interest. If you avoid those people yourself, then do not be one. For example, do not go into discussing only rugby with a person who is not into sports. If you do not know the person, then ask them about their interests first, and then improvise.
I was a guest at a party once where a few people came up to me and introduced themselves. After learning what I do for a living, they started asking questions about it and then commented with their opinions. You can do the same by asking a person about their job or interests and improvising with a later conversation.
2. Be aware of off-limit topics
There are things you can discuss and things you cannot discuss. Of course, if the person you talk to is a very close family member, friend or someone you are sure will tolerate your opinions, you might disregard this advice. But if it is a person who you do not know well, do not even try getting into a conversation about politics or religion.
These topics are extremely personal, and everyone I have ever met has their own unique thoughts on both, even among people who belong to the same political party or belief system. The discussion is never-ending and will often lead to nothing but fights.
3. Become a person of tact
Have you ever had a conversation where the person you're talking to makes a comment that upsets you or puts you in a difficult position? For example, I was sharing my intention to study abroad with a girl one time, when she replied: “Yes, that is a great idea, but only smart people get an education abroad.” Back at university, I knew a guy who repelled everyone he ever had a conversation with because he would make comments that made everyone feel less of themselves.
There are people who cannot control being untactful, even if they might be good peopl. Being tactless comes from a lack of emotional intelligence, and a lack of awareness of the things you say and their impact on others. If this is you, then you should pay more attention to what you say. You need to challenge your limits, be more open-minded and think twice before saying something in a rush.
4. Organize your speech
A few weeks ago, I had a phone chat with a well-educated professional. During the conversation, he asked questions and responded to them himself. He constantly jumped from one topic to another without completing his sentences. I could not understand him.
There are people who are well read and educated but cannot put two words together in a sentence properly. It is due to their way of thinking. They think chaotically. The solution is to slow down while speaking. By making pauses once in a while and breathing slowly, you can have a brief break to organize your speech. I find it quite helpful myself, because while talking fast without stopping, we may not be able to hear and analyze the words coming out of our mouths.
5. Learn to listen
People love attention no matter how much they deny it. Imagine a conversation where you are interrupted by the person you are talking to. You wouldn't like it, would you? Speaking properly is important, but listening properly is equally important. Effective communication is not possible without good listening.
Listening with attention shows your respect towards the other person. Moreover, you might be able to sense what they really want to say and respond accordingly. Thus, you will be able to build the right connection. Who would not want to talk to you after that? You might be an all-knowing snob with amazing speaking skills but if you speak without listening to others, do not be surprised when people start avoiding you.
6. Be positive
Back when I was a teenager, I had a friend who was always negative. After some time it bored and devastated me, so much that I decided to break the ties. Every day we face stressful situations, traffic jams, occupational stress and family issues. If we all fixate on those issues, we will all be devastated by negativity.
Positive people, on the other hand, attract everyone around them and make them feel better about themselves. Communication coach Julian Treasure says in his TED speechthat negativity is hard to tolerate after a while, and that positivity is what makes communication interesting.
Becoming better at conversations might not be the easiest task, but if you work on these tips, it will surely pay off.
Military Dad Defends His 4 Little Daughters When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Military Dad of 4 Daughters Defends His Girls When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Austin von Letkemann is the military officer strangers feel "sorry" for — and the reason is infuriating.
Whenever the devoted father leaves the house with his four children, strangers can't help but notice the officer in uniform is holding hands with 4 adorable little girls. They will tell the traditionally "masculine" and "all American" dad they feel sorry for him, because he has no sons. This dad makes one thing very clear: They are his daughters, they aren't a burden.
In a passionate video, von Letkemann took to Instagram to share with his followers that the only thing that's "difficult" about being a girl dad — is clapping back to these sexist remarks over and over again.
They Mock His Daughters To Their Face
When strangers approach Austin von Letkemann and his four daughters, they don't always realize that their comments are being overheard. They seem oblivious to the fact that his girls understand every word. Von Letkemann describes how people will approach him and, without thinking, make remarks like "I'm sorry" or even joke about his lack of sons. What they don't realize is that these comments, intended to be light-hearted or humorous, can be deeply hurtful to his daughters. These strangers are not just disrespecting von Letkemann's choices as a father; they're also sending a message to his daughters that their presence is something to be pitied. It’s a message that von Letkemann won't stand for, and he's speaking out to defend his girls from these insensitive remarksSaying "Get Your Shotgun" Isn't Funny — It's Sexist
Another common comment that Austin von Letkemann encounters is the old "better get your shotgun ready" trope, often delivered with a smirk or a wink. This line is typically intended to suggest that a father with daughters should be on high alert to protect them from potential "suitors," implying that they are objects to be guarded rather than individuals with agency.
Von Letkemann finds this line of thinking outdated and sexist. In his viral Instagram video, he points out that these jokes are not just stale — they're damaging.
By suggesting that his daughters require armed protection, the joke reinforces the idea that women are inherently vulnerable and need to be shielded from men. Von Letkemann argues that instead of promoting this narrative, society should focus on teaching respect and consent, challenging these sexist tropes at their source.
Watch Austin von Letkemann's Video:
"If I Had A Fifth Child, I'd HOPE It Was A Girl" — One Dad's Message For Other Parents
Despite the constant remarks about his lack of sons, Austin von Letkemann is clear: He wouldn't trade his daughters for anything.
In fact, he told his Instagram followers that if he were to have a fifth child, he would hope for another girl. This declaration isn't just about doubling down on his pride in his family — it's a pointed response to those who see fathering daughters as a misfortune.
Von Letkemann's stance is a powerful one, rejecting the notion that a family is incomplete without sons. He encourages others to question the assumptions behind these comments and to appreciate the joy and fulfillment that his daughters bring. By sharing his story, von Letkemann hopes to create a more inclusive perspective on fatherhood, one that values daughters just as much as sons.