Man Explains Why He Prioritizes Giving His Wife Alone Time
Being a parent is a wonderful crazy ride. But it's also physically, emotionally, and mentally draining. It's a continuous cycle of putting someone else's needs ahead of your own, and sometimes?
You just really need a break.
In a candid post that has gone viral on both TikTok and Instagram (racking up a staggering 31 million views combined), one husband explains why he prioritizes giving his wife alone time every single week, and honestly, we should all be taking notes.
Why a Husband Prioritizes Alone Time For His Wife
Former NFL player and motivational speaker Cedric Thompson Jr. and his wife, Charlotte, share three young children, ages 6, 4, and 1.
To say their household is chaotic is an understatement. Life with littles is all-consuming and amidst the diapers, constant demands, and neverending loads of laundry, it's not just easy to lose sight of your own needs, it's easy to lose YOURSELF, particularly if you're the primary caregiver.
Cedric understands this first-hand.
He starts the now-viral video with a gentle reminder for all moms, saying, "You should not feel guilty for having alone time."
And while this should be a given, the reality is that moms and guilt go together like peanut butter and jelly. Guilt doesn't come with a handy on-off switch and as any mom knows it's nearly impossible to let that guilt go.
Cedric explains that what his wife does with her alone time is "quite frankly, none of my business." What he does know is that when she's out, he doesn't want her to worry or feel rushed. He's got it handled.
"I don't want her to get lost in being a mother or a wife," he continues.
"I want her to take the time to remind herself who she is and the things that she wants to do."
Whether that's just getting away for a chance to chill and relax or meeting up with friends.
“At the end of the day, we’re a team,” he concludes. “My wife is my teammate. And sometimes your teammates need a break. When she comes back home and puts those hats back on, she can wear those hats in the way that she wants to after being rejuvenated from having that alone time.”
Important Conversation Around Needing Alone Time After Having Kids
Screenshots of a man holding a toddler
@ascedbyme/TikTok
Charlotte isn't the only one who gets uninterrupted alone time one evening a week, Cedric does too. It's taken a while for the couple to figure out how to do it consistently but now they make sure to give each other the space and time they need to recharge, blissfully alone.
"My biggest motto in life is that you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of those around you. That's the only way that you can really show up the best."
Cedric Thompson Jr.
Turns out Cedric's 1-minute and 7-second video hit a nerve and opened up an important conversation about giving your partner "me-time." Nearly 20,000 people took to the comments to share their thoughts and not all of them were good.
Because, of course, there were some people who just didn't get it (*sigh*).
"Does anyone post these drippy videos about "daddy's alone time" no they don't. Says it all really (eye-roll emoji)."
"Beta vibes."
"This shouldn't be celebrated doing your duty as a father shouldn't feel like such a burden to the point where you have to tell everyone you do it."
Others praised Cedric for being a supportive partner.
"This is how grown, mature men successfully manage a marital relationship, especially one with young children. Kudos to you sir."
Some commenters legitimately wanted to know how to make it work for both partners, asking:
"honest question: how do you navigate this need for alone time for yourself as well?"
And others were downright heartbreaking.
"How do I send this to my husband w/o sending to my husband? He knows NOTHING about mom alone time. But he knows about dad alone time."
"And this is one of the reasons I'm leaving my partner of 7 years. He thinks I'm lazy for having alone time from our 3 kids."
"The reaction has been interesting," Cedric told Newsweek. "It's hard to explain all that goes on in my wife having alone time in 60 seconds, and when people don't have the full context, they can make assumptions, which is understandable."
The Importance of Quality Time Alone
Woman in black zip-up jacket leaning on large log at daytime
Photo by Katie Moum on UnsplashNeeding alone time doesn't mean you're a bad parent, it means you're HUMAN.
Sometimes you need to stop, just so you can keep on going. Sometimes you need to leave the presence of your children so you can return and be more present with them.
According to experts, everyone needs some time on their own to rest and reflect. In fact, alone time is crucial for mental health and well-being and is a healthy way to recharge, destress, and recenter yourself.
Parenthood is amazing, yes. But it's also often overwhelming. Providing space and time for EACH partner to get away and take a break is essential, not just for the individual, but for the family as a whole.
