7 Steps To Taking Constructive Criticism Like a Champ
Sometimes, it seems like people who take constructive criticism affably aren't phased by it. It's as if they were born this way, and know nothing about struggling when receiving feedback. You wish to be like them but instead, you keep pitying yourself. “Well, yes, I'm the one who will catch my heart jumping out of my chest every time I have a work-related conversation with my boss or colleague. So what?” you think, “Just another weakness. Everyone has them. I'll survive.”
Do you really want to be that person? No? Then forget all the excuses, and don't be. Yes, it's as simple as that.
The truth is, there's no such thing as a congenital trait to accept criticism graciously. The ability to give a polite response to critique is just one more useful habit you can and need to develop. Here is how.
Here Are 7 Steps To Taking Constructive Criticism Maturely
We need very strong ears to hear ourselves judged frankly, and because there are few who can endure frank criticism without being stung by it, those who venture to criticize us perform a remarkable act of friendship, for to undertake to wound or offend a man for his own good is to have a healthy love for him.- Michel de Montaigne
1. Realize the value
When criticism arrives, many people struggle to control themselves in the moment, and react with confusion or even anger. Some people even get defensive and attack the person who provided the feedback.
This behavior won't lead you to success. You have to get over it. If the critique is constructive, then the person who offered it cares about you and is trying to help you, not hurt you. In fact, you need constructive criticism to spot your weaknesses and areas of improvement. Accepting the critique calmly will help you to maintain your professional relationships and achieve your goals faster.
2. Take your time
The moment the first signs of criticism appear, take your courage in both hands, and don't panic. Give yourself time to process the situation and calm down. If you can't make yourself look directly at the person who is giving you feedback, it's okay. Do not force yourself to smile or say anything. It's better not to react at all.
This way, you'll kill two birds with one stone: being silent will allow you to show you care because you don't interrupt the speaker, and you'll make a good impression by handling the critique maturely.
3. Appreciate the feedback
After you take control over your emotions, be sure to bear in mind the many benefits of constructive criticism. Criticism helps you improve your skills, develop good relationships with colleagues, and get closer to achieving your goals.
Now, having grasped the positive impact of the feedback, it's time to engage in the conversation and start listening carefully.
4. Interact
You've stopped the panic, taken control of your negative emotions, and reminded yourself of all the benefits of receiving constructive criticism. Well done! Now, you're ready to carry on a productive dialogue.
First of all, be open-minded. If a person decided to share her or his thoughts about your work and progress, he or she probably has a strong reason for it and can offer you insights that will help you improve your results. So, let them express their opinion without interruption.
Once the person has finished, he or she would like to hear what you're thinking. Take this chance to show that you respect others' opinions. First, repeat the request you've received as you understood it. For instance, “I hear you want me to change my priorities and spend more time on the new project we got last month?” Do not let yourself analyze or critique the request. Shush you inner doubter. Remember, the person who gives you feedback can feel uncomfortable too, and express their ideas in an unclear way. Thus, your main task here is to focus on clarifying the exact nature of the criticism.
5. Ask questions
You don't have to start arguing or debating, but you need to ask questions to deconstruct the feedback and prevent misunderstandings in the future. For example, if your boss told you he or she liked your vision but found your arguments at the last meeting unpersuasive, you could:
- Ask if it was just one point of your vision that you couldn't express clearly, or the whole idea. For example: “I know, sometimes, when I'm excited, my presentation can be rambling. Can you tell me how I might make my statements easier to understand? Would flip charts maybe help?”
- Admit your weakness: “Yes, it's true, I can be confusing when expressing my thoughts. I'm working on it. Perhaps I should consider attending speaking classes. What do you think?”
- Be open to advice: “Maybe you've experienced this problem before and can give me some advice?”
6. Say thank you
It's not easy, it's true. But it's necessary. After clearing things up, look your colleague in the eye, and thank them for giving you feedback. Do not throw "thanks" over your shoulder on the way out. Do it deliberately and thoughtfully. Say “I appreciate your comments. Thank you for sharing them.”
The words of appreciation don't mean you agree with the comments, but they show you respect your colleagues and value their opinion.
7. Show your engagement
If the critique is clear and you know how to handle the situation, you can end the conversation by saying thank you, and then move on. But if it's a larger issue, or the feedback was provided by your boss, you can ask for a follow-up meeting to track your progress and gather your ideas. This way, you show your colleagues that you're a team player; you don't hide from problems, but try to solve them promptly.
Constructive criticism is your ally, not your enemy
Constructive criticism is key to self-improvement. It's only when we know our flaws that we can work on them. Giving a hostile reception to constructive critique instead of taking it graciously won't do you any good. Sure, feedback is not easy to take, but it's very helpful now and extremely useful in the long run.
Military Dad Defends His 4 Little Daughters When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Military Dad of 4 Daughters Defends His Girls When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Austin von Letkemann is the military officer strangers feel "sorry" for — and the reason is infuriating.
Whenever the devoted father leaves the house with his four children, strangers can't help but notice the officer in uniform is holding hands with 4 adorable little girls. They will tell the traditionally "masculine" and "all American" dad they feel sorry for him, because he has no sons. This dad makes one thing very clear: They are his daughters, they aren't a burden.
In a passionate video, von Letkemann took to Instagram to share with his followers that the only thing that's "difficult" about being a girl dad — is clapping back to these sexist remarks over and over again.
They Mock His Daughters To Their Face
When strangers approach Austin von Letkemann and his four daughters, they don't always realize that their comments are being overheard. They seem oblivious to the fact that his girls understand every word. Von Letkemann describes how people will approach him and, without thinking, make remarks like "I'm sorry" or even joke about his lack of sons. What they don't realize is that these comments, intended to be light-hearted or humorous, can be deeply hurtful to his daughters. These strangers are not just disrespecting von Letkemann's choices as a father; they're also sending a message to his daughters that their presence is something to be pitied. It’s a message that von Letkemann won't stand for, and he's speaking out to defend his girls from these insensitive remarksSaying "Get Your Shotgun" Isn't Funny — It's Sexist
Another common comment that Austin von Letkemann encounters is the old "better get your shotgun ready" trope, often delivered with a smirk or a wink. This line is typically intended to suggest that a father with daughters should be on high alert to protect them from potential "suitors," implying that they are objects to be guarded rather than individuals with agency.
Von Letkemann finds this line of thinking outdated and sexist. In his viral Instagram video, he points out that these jokes are not just stale — they're damaging.
By suggesting that his daughters require armed protection, the joke reinforces the idea that women are inherently vulnerable and need to be shielded from men. Von Letkemann argues that instead of promoting this narrative, society should focus on teaching respect and consent, challenging these sexist tropes at their source.
Watch Austin von Letkemann's Video:
"If I Had A Fifth Child, I'd HOPE It Was A Girl" — One Dad's Message For Other Parents
Despite the constant remarks about his lack of sons, Austin von Letkemann is clear: He wouldn't trade his daughters for anything.
In fact, he told his Instagram followers that if he were to have a fifth child, he would hope for another girl. This declaration isn't just about doubling down on his pride in his family — it's a pointed response to those who see fathering daughters as a misfortune.
Von Letkemann's stance is a powerful one, rejecting the notion that a family is incomplete without sons. He encourages others to question the assumptions behind these comments and to appreciate the joy and fulfillment that his daughters bring. By sharing his story, von Letkemann hopes to create a more inclusive perspective on fatherhood, one that values daughters just as much as sons.