Brittany Cole (@brittmcole), a mother of two from Shawnee, Kansas, faced a challenging moment when her 4-year-old daughter Norah came home from school excited about her new friend, describing her as "the fat girl with pink glasses."
Cole was taken aback by the description, recognizing that it could be hurtful, but also aware that her young daughter might not understand the negative connotations associated with the word "fat." In a TikTok post, Cole shared her dilemma and asked for advice from other parents, sparking a thoughtful conversation about how to address sensitive topics with young children.
This Mom Was Torn — She Wanted To Inform NOT Fat Shame
Cole found herself in a difficult position: she wanted to guide her daughter toward using more respectful language without shaming her for an innocent observation. She knew that describing someone as "fat" could be seen as offensive, but she also didn't want to ruin her daughter's innocent view of the world by imposing adult perspectives on her. Cole was concerned that if she didn't address the issue, her daughter might unintentionally insult her friend or other children. Yet, she wanted to find a way to do so without turning "fat" into a forbidden word or making her daughter feel guilty for her choice of words.
Watch Brittany Cole's Video:
@brittmcole If its all about intent this is okay right? 🫠
Hundreds of Helpful Suggestions Came Pouring In: Here's What They Had To Say
Cole's TikTok video quickly gained attention, with parents and experts offering a wide range of advice. Some commenters suggested encouraging Norah to describe people based on other characteristics, like hair color or height, instead of focusing on body size. Others recommended explaining to Norah that certain words can have different meanings depending on context and that calling someone "fat" might hurt their feelings. A common theme among the suggestions was to start conversations about body image and self-esteem early, emphasizing that everyone is unique and valuable regardless of their physical appearance.
"It’s normal for kids this age to start to notice differences between themselves and others so I do think it’s important to have a conversation with her about how pointing things out like that can make."
- @nosk2212
Parents Don't Have To Know It All! Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Advice
Two little children sitting on a couchBrittany Cole / ABC News
Cole's experience is a reminder that parenting can be complex, and there's no single right way to handle every situation. By sharing her story and asking for advice, Cole demonstrated that it's okay to seek guidance from others when faced with challenging parenting moments.
Parenting experts like Rachel Simmons recommend that parents start these conversations with their children as early as possible, acknowledging that certain words can carry different weights in society. Cole's openness and willingness to learn from others show that parents don't have to know it all — they just need to be willing to listen, learn, and adapt as they navigate the journey of raising compassionate, empathetic children.
We Must Cherish the Treasure Within Us All
You know what's really tough? Loving people for who they are. Not for who we want them to be. Not for who we think they can be. But loving them exactly as they are today.
It's tough, because we have our own expectations by which we measure others. We focus so much on whether the other person is meeting our standards that we forget to love them for being uniquely flawed and evolving, just like ourselves –- perhaps at a different pace, in a different place. But when we actually succeed, when we love someone for who they are, we see how quickly they begin to transform into the greatest, most inspired version of themselves.
You see, the truth is that we don't know a thing about the silent battles fought by those we admire; battles that are perhaps compensated for by their very bravado we respect. We do not see the pain hidden behind their smile. We do not see the suffering and loss they have endured. But more importantly, we do not know what wisdom is hidden in the hearts of those who go unnoticed. Recognizing this humanizes our role models, flattens our egos, and gives us reason to treat every person with compassion and kindness. The most broken people have taught me more about life than some teachers ever could. They’ve taught me hope.
Now, one of my favorite things to do is give that hope to others. To understand their fears, and assure them that their dreams are much more powerful than their demons. To dissolve their insecurities and remind them that they don't have to have it all figured out in order to move forward.
These are my favorite things, not because I have more to share than anyone else, but because it is so often that I, myself, need to hear the words I speak. By offering hope to others, I develop hope for myself. See, the reality is that no matter how insightful someone may seem, they are equally clueless. Enlightenment begins here, with the sobering reminder that there are no masters in life... only helpers.
Be a helper. Inspire someone. Empower their soul. Awakening to this journeyis the treasure. It is the only treasure. Because cemeteries are not just where we bury those who have passed, but also where we entomb the treasures of our future. Think, for a moment, of all the untapped wisdom and love. Think of all the books that will never be written, hugs that will never be given, and dreams that will never come to light. In this light, the cemetery is the most valuable place on Earth — for it is here where our regrets come to rest.
Think of this when that voice in your head says you're not good enough, or convinces you to start tomorrow instead of today. Think of this when you're holding a grudge. Think of how fortunate you are to have another day to share your gifts with the world. If for no other reason, think of this — be humbled by this — before you do the things you wish. I assure you, if you think as often as you should, you'll never postpone another day.
So think. And spend every ounce of your life in the passionate pursuit of that which moves your soul. Let your treasure be known.
Watch the video: