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Man Explains Why He Prioritizes Giving His Wife Alone Time
In a candid post that has gone viral on both TikTok and Instagram (racking up a staggering 31 million views combined), one husband explains why he prioritizes giving his wife alone time every single week, and honestly, we should all be taking notes.
Why a Husband Prioritizes Alone Time For His Wife
Former NFL player and motivational speaker Cedric Thompson Jr. and his wife, Charlotte, share three young children, ages 6, 4, and 1.
To say their household is chaotic is an understatement. Life with littles is all-consuming and amidst the diapers, constant demands, and neverending loads of laundry, it's not just easy to lose sight of your own needs, it's easy to lose YOURSELF, particularly if you're the primary caregiver.
Cedric understands this first-hand.
He starts the now-viral video with a gentle reminder for all moms, saying, "You should not feel guilty for having alone time."
And while this should be a given, the reality is that moms and guilt go together like peanut butter and jelly. Guilt doesn't come with a handy on-off switch and as any mom knows it's nearly impossible to let that guilt go.
Cedric explains that what his wife does with her alone time is "quite frankly, none of my business." What he does know is that when she's out, he doesn't want her to worry or feel rushed. He's got it handled.
"I don't want her to get lost in being a mother or a wife," he continues.
"I want her to take the time to remind herself who she is and the things that she wants to do."
Whether that's just getting away for a chance to chill and relax or meeting up with friends.
“At the end of the day, we’re a team,” he concludes. “My wife is my teammate. And sometimes your teammates need a break. When she comes back home and puts those hats back on, she can wear those hats in the way that she wants to after being rejuvenated from having that alone time.”
Important Conversation Around Needing Alone Time After Having Kids
Screenshots of a man holding a toddler
@ascedbyme/TikTok
Charlotte isn't the only one who gets uninterrupted alone time one evening a week, Cedric does too. It's taken a while for the couple to figure out how to do it consistently but now they make sure to give each other the space and time they need to recharge, blissfully alone.
"My biggest motto in life is that you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of those around you. That's the only way that you can really show up the best."
Cedric Thompson Jr.
Turns out Cedric's 1-minute and 7-second video hit a nerve and opened up an important conversation about giving your partner "me-time." Nearly 20,000 people took to the comments to share their thoughts and not all of them were good.
Because, of course, there were some people who just didn't get it (*sigh*).
"Does anyone post these drippy videos about "daddy's alone time" no they don't. Says it all really (eye-roll emoji)."
"Beta vibes."
"This shouldn't be celebrated doing your duty as a father shouldn't feel like such a burden to the point where you have to tell everyone you do it."
Others praised Cedric for being a supportive partner.
"This is how grown, mature men successfully manage a marital relationship, especially one with young children. Kudos to you sir."
Some commenters legitimately wanted to know how to make it work for both partners, asking:
"honest question: how do you navigate this need for alone time for yourself as well?"
And others were downright heartbreaking.
"How do I send this to my husband w/o sending to my husband? He knows NOTHING about mom alone time. But he knows about dad alone time."
"And this is one of the reasons I'm leaving my partner of 7 years. He thinks I'm lazy for having alone time from our 3 kids."
"The reaction has been interesting," Cedric told Newsweek. "It's hard to explain all that goes on in my wife having alone time in 60 seconds, and when people don't have the full context, they can make assumptions, which is understandable."
The Importance of Quality Time Alone
Woman in black zip-up jacket leaning on large log at daytime
Photo by Katie Moum on UnsplashNeeding alone time doesn't mean you're a bad parent, it means you're HUMAN.
Sometimes you need to stop, just so you can keep on going. Sometimes you need to leave the presence of your children so you can return and be more present with them.
According to experts, everyone needs some time on their own to rest and reflect. In fact, alone time is crucial for mental health and well-being and is a healthy way to recharge, destress, and recenter yourself.
Parenthood is amazing, yes. But it's also often overwhelming. Providing space and time for EACH partner to get away and take a break is essential, not just for the individual, but for the family as a whole.
How Do I Choose The Right New Year’s Resolution?
As we approach the New Year, many of us have started to think about our New Year’s resolution. During the holidays, we are excited and optimistic that this year will be a good year, so in this context, we choose a New Year’s resolution with the best of intentions. Fast forward one month and 36% of us will have already abandoned our goal. By the middle of the year, only 46% of people will still be working on their resolution.
There are many reasons for this. Some people’s motivation fades with time, some get discouraged as soon as there is a small setback, others fail to plan ahead, and most people keep their resolution to themselves. Therefore, they aren’t accountable to anyone. But, in my opinion, the main reason we fail is because we do not choose the right goal in the first place.
Lose weight, stop smoking, start a new sport, learn something new, find a soul mate... every year it’s the same thing. We either choose a goal to fit in or to impress others. Because of this social weight and tradition, we feel pressured to choose something. Most of us do not put the necessary time and reflection to choose the resolution that is right for us.
This year, to reach your resolution, follow these guidelines to choose New Year’s Resolution that is right for you.
How Do I Choose The Right New Year’s Resolution?
Make it Simple
Choose a resolution that is simple and that you think you can achieve with reasonable confidence. It can be risky to suddenly take on too much since it can often end in disappointment. Opt instead for an easy goal, so that you can get to success faster and use that confidence to achieve other things. Going step by step is more important than going fast.
Choose something you can control
Whenever possible, find a resolution whose achievement depends entirely on you. These goals are often easier to achieve, and they allow to establish a more direct link between your actions and our progress towards that objective. The best is to choose a goal that can be repeated every day, for example running every day. It is faster to incorporate into a daily habit behavior instead of a weekly or monthly habit.
Choose One Resolution At a Time
Each of us have several things we want to improve, but it’s better to choose initially only one thing to improve and make it our unique goal. We have limited energy and to choose more than one goal is to scatter our energy. It’s better to focus on one thing and then to fully dedicate ourselves to it for a time. Do not make a bucket list. There is nothing that prevents you from choosing a new resolution once you reach your first. The mistake that many of us make is to choose a goal that will take the whole year to realize. Instead, you should focus on what is more important, and then choose a second goal once the first one is complete.
Make it Part of a Bigger Goal
You have to start by choosing a resolution that is right for you. It needs to be consistent with your values, your project and your goals in life. Take the time to ask yourself what your goal in life is. The goal you choose has to be important to you. How many of you have a clear idea of where you want to be ten years from now? Start with that.
The most important thing is to take the time to choose the right goal for you. The latest study also shows that you can increase your chance of achieving your goals by sharing it with others. So, once you find the goal that is right for you, we have built a free tool to help you share your goals in three easy steps. So, try it out and let us know what you think!