Brittany Cole (@brittmcole), a mother of two from Shawnee, Kansas, faced a challenging moment when her 4-year-old daughter Norah came home from school excited about her new friend, describing her as "the fat girl with pink glasses."
Cole was taken aback by the description, recognizing that it could be hurtful, but also aware that her young daughter might not understand the negative connotations associated with the word "fat." In a TikTok post, Cole shared her dilemma and asked for advice from other parents, sparking a thoughtful conversation about how to address sensitive topics with young children.
This Mom Was Torn — She Wanted To Inform NOT Fat Shame
Cole found herself in a difficult position: she wanted to guide her daughter toward using more respectful language without shaming her for an innocent observation. She knew that describing someone as "fat" could be seen as offensive, but she also didn't want to ruin her daughter's innocent view of the world by imposing adult perspectives on her. Cole was concerned that if she didn't address the issue, her daughter might unintentionally insult her friend or other children. Yet, she wanted to find a way to do so without turning "fat" into a forbidden word or making her daughter feel guilty for her choice of words.
Watch Brittany Cole's Video:
@brittmcole If its all about intent this is okay right? 🫠
Hundreds of Helpful Suggestions Came Pouring In: Here's What They Had To Say
Cole's TikTok video quickly gained attention, with parents and experts offering a wide range of advice. Some commenters suggested encouraging Norah to describe people based on other characteristics, like hair color or height, instead of focusing on body size. Others recommended explaining to Norah that certain words can have different meanings depending on context and that calling someone "fat" might hurt their feelings. A common theme among the suggestions was to start conversations about body image and self-esteem early, emphasizing that everyone is unique and valuable regardless of their physical appearance.
"It’s normal for kids this age to start to notice differences between themselves and others so I do think it’s important to have a conversation with her about how pointing things out like that can make."
- @nosk2212
Parents Don't Have To Know It All! Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Advice
Two little children sitting on a couchBrittany Cole / ABC News
Cole's experience is a reminder that parenting can be complex, and there's no single right way to handle every situation. By sharing her story and asking for advice, Cole demonstrated that it's okay to seek guidance from others when faced with challenging parenting moments.
Parenting experts like Rachel Simmons recommend that parents start these conversations with their children as early as possible, acknowledging that certain words can carry different weights in society. Cole's openness and willingness to learn from others show that parents don't have to know it all — they just need to be willing to listen, learn, and adapt as they navigate the journey of raising compassionate, empathetic children.
The Sacred 3 Findings of Life: the 1%, the Tribe and the System
Life is all about discovery. It is sometimes the things we find within ourselves, and sometimes external. There are things we add to ourselves that make us better, and things that we remove to make us more authentic. In all of this findings, there are three crucial ones that we seek our entire life.
These three are the 1%, the Tribe and the System.
So let's get right into it.
The Sacred 3 Findings of Life: The 1%, the Tribe and the System
The 1%
We are mostly unaware that we are searching for our 1%. When asked what we want in life, we respond with, "love, happiness, success." But how we get these things often remains unknown to us.
To get love, happiness, or success, we need to figure out what drives us. And these drivers are always based on our internal well-being, on our internal sources of motivation.
And here is the catch. Nobody can figure out what your internal motivation is except you. It is unique and authentic for every single one of us on Earth. You need to go on an internal adventure to find what it is that you deeply care about. You need to figure what is your own personal 1%. When you discover that, everything else becomes noise in the background -- "things you really, truly, absolutely, don't give a fuck about," as Mark Manson would say. And you become a leader of yourself.
So go on an adventure. Try stuff out, see what you like and dislike. Ask yourself why. Reinvent yourself.
Become true to yourself and you will figure out your 1%. And when you obtain it, your life will never be the same again. You will see the world through different eyes. And you will know why you were put on this Earth.
But knowing this is not enough. There are big obstacles ahead which you will need to deal with to be able to live out your purpose.
The Tribe
Figuring out your 1% is only the first step. When you figure it out, you need to live it. And this is where it gets super hard. Because you need to change your surroundings. You need to change the people whom you hang out with.
Because like it or not, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And if you are spending time with people who only drag you down and take a dump on your life goals, vision, and purpose, you will eventually start to do the same to your goals, vision, and purpose.
We are created to learn from osmosis. This basically means that you copy what people around you do. That's why Buddhism is not the major religion in Italy, nor Catholicism in India. And it's why you need to find a group of people who support you in this endeavor.
You have to have clear standards and criteria when picking your friends. Now that you understand your purpose, you can align your tribe with your 1%. And you need to sever the ties with people who just hold you down. I know that this is hard, and it sucks in the beginning. But it is the difference between just knowing what your purpose is and never achieving it, and knowing what it is and actually fulfilling it.
If you don't believe me, believe Jay-Z, Michael Beckwith or many others who shared the same process in their books.
Once you find your Tribe, you'll arrive at the last finding.
The System
You know what you need to do. You have people who support you. And now, it's all about making it happen. For this, we need the System.
The System is a collection of habits and rituals you do daily to live a purposeful life and achieve your life's vision. We need a system because our willpower depletes easily, so we can't rely on it in the long haul. The System helps us develop habits that will bring us a successful life, however we define that.
The System is usually based on just a couple of things you do every day which brings you closer and closer to your vision. For Warren Buffet it's reading, for James Altucher it's writing, and for Tony Robbins, it's practicing gratitude in the morning.
These kinds of habits are called keystone habits, because their positive effects ripple through every areas of your life. Here, you just need to define what kind of keystone habit will help you most in your 1%. Maybe it's reading, maybe writing, maybe both. For me, it's both reading and writing every single day.
But that doesn't have to be for you. Remember, it has to align with your 1%.
The 3 findings
When you pursue your journey and figure out your 1%, your life will change. Then, you will find your Tribe which helps and supports you and makes you feel safe. And at the end, you will find your System.
With these, you will conquer your goals and achieve your vision.
So what are you waiting for? Go and find your 1%, your Tribe, and your System.
And tell me about it in the comments.