40-Year-Old Mother of 3 Goes From Inmate to Princeton Intern
A Former Inmate
Woman goes from inmate to Princeton intern.
Photo by Nick Fewings on UnsplashMary McCrary is a 40-year-old mother of three who spent three years in prison. According to Good Morning America, she served time at the Debra K. Johnson Rehabilitation Center in Nashville for a parole violation following a conviction for aggravated burglary.
McCrary dropped out of high school in Grade 10 and has since successfully pursued her GED, but it wasn’t until prison that she began thinking about further education. She hit a breaking point behind bars and decided it was time to turn her life around.
“When you get to a point where you're tired and don’t even want to live and you're hopeless and you feel useless and worthless, you have a decision to make,” she told the publication.
“I made the decision to use this time to do something different, to change my life, because I didn’t want to keep doing the same things and getting in trouble and ... doing whatever I had to to survive because it gets you in the exact same place.”
So, McCrary enrolled in a coding class as part of the center’s Persevere program, an initiative aimed at helping inmates earn certifications as front-end or full-stack web developers.
“The class alone made you feel like you’re a human being, that I was working towards something, that there is a goal in sight, I am going to accomplish something, and I did,” she added. “That does give you confidence and hope.”
A Life-Changing Opportunity
For the next six months, McCrary earned her certificate in front-end coding. She decided to develop her skills even more by enrolling at Nashville State Community College, which offers a program for inmates.
This past May, McCrary was granted parole, completed her supervision, and earned extra credits toward an associate’s degree. But not even she could anticipate what would happen next: an internship at Princeton.
The nine-week program is meant for formerly incarcerated undergrad students to gain experience and new opportunities, and so far, McCrary is excelling.
“Her dedication to building her future is evident in how she does not shy away from challenges and the unknown,” Bridgett vonHoldt, an associate professor at Princeton and the head of the internship program said. “She is a role model, demonstrating for anyone who thinks such change is impossible that nothing is impossible.”
As for McCrary, she knows this is an incredible opportunity and hopes the internship is the next step toward earning her AA degree back in Nashville.
“This has been life-changing in more ways than one. This is an unbelievable, sometimes overwhelming experience,” she said. “If you look at my past, it's a crazy shamble mess, but look now, look what can happen. Nothing is ever impossible.”
Second Chances
McCrary hopes to be a role model for those who are having a hard time accepting the idea of a brighter future and so far, she certainly is. She’s a great example of how things can get better and you can change your future when you’re willing to take advantage of the opportunities you have — even if they don’t seem like opportunities at the time.
This story is also a needed reminder that everyone deserves a second chance in life and that sometimes, by allowing someone who has messed up the chance to try again, they may surprise you.
No one is perfect, and everyone stumbles. It’s not how hard we fall that truly matters in life; it's how we pick ourselves back up. But it’s also up to us whether we want to be the person who lends someone on the ground a helping hand or if we want to be the guy who just keeps on walking.
The Sacred 3 Findings of Life: the 1%, the Tribe and the System
Life is all about discovery. It is sometimes the things we find within ourselves, and sometimes external. There are things we add to ourselves that make us better, and things that we remove to make us more authentic. In all of this findings, there are three crucial ones that we seek our entire life.
These three are the 1%, the Tribe and the System.
So let's get right into it.
The Sacred 3 Findings of Life: The 1%, the Tribe and the System
The 1%
We are mostly unaware that we are searching for our 1%. When asked what we want in life, we respond with, "love, happiness, success." But how we get these things often remains unknown to us.
To get love, happiness, or success, we need to figure out what drives us. And these drivers are always based on our internal well-being, on our internal sources of motivation.
And here is the catch. Nobody can figure out what your internal motivation is except you. It is unique and authentic for every single one of us on Earth. You need to go on an internal adventure to find what it is that you deeply care about. You need to figure what is your own personal 1%. When you discover that, everything else becomes noise in the background -- "things you really, truly, absolutely, don't give a fuck about," as Mark Manson would say. And you become a leader of yourself.
So go on an adventure. Try stuff out, see what you like and dislike. Ask yourself why. Reinvent yourself.
Become true to yourself and you will figure out your 1%. And when you obtain it, your life will never be the same again. You will see the world through different eyes. And you will know why you were put on this Earth.
But knowing this is not enough. There are big obstacles ahead which you will need to deal with to be able to live out your purpose.
The Tribe
Figuring out your 1% is only the first step. When you figure it out, you need to live it. And this is where it gets super hard. Because you need to change your surroundings. You need to change the people whom you hang out with.
Because like it or not, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. And if you are spending time with people who only drag you down and take a dump on your life goals, vision, and purpose, you will eventually start to do the same to your goals, vision, and purpose.
We are created to learn from osmosis. This basically means that you copy what people around you do. That's why Buddhism is not the major religion in Italy, nor Catholicism in India. And it's why you need to find a group of people who support you in this endeavor.
You have to have clear standards and criteria when picking your friends. Now that you understand your purpose, you can align your tribe with your 1%. And you need to sever the ties with people who just hold you down. I know that this is hard, and it sucks in the beginning. But it is the difference between just knowing what your purpose is and never achieving it, and knowing what it is and actually fulfilling it.
If you don't believe me, believe Jay-Z, Michael Beckwith or many others who shared the same process in their books.
Once you find your Tribe, you'll arrive at the last finding.
The System
You know what you need to do. You have people who support you. And now, it's all about making it happen. For this, we need the System.
The System is a collection of habits and rituals you do daily to live a purposeful life and achieve your life's vision. We need a system because our willpower depletes easily, so we can't rely on it in the long haul. The System helps us develop habits that will bring us a successful life, however we define that.
The System is usually based on just a couple of things you do every day which brings you closer and closer to your vision. For Warren Buffet it's reading, for James Altucher it's writing, and for Tony Robbins, it's practicing gratitude in the morning.
These kinds of habits are called keystone habits, because their positive effects ripple through every areas of your life. Here, you just need to define what kind of keystone habit will help you most in your 1%. Maybe it's reading, maybe writing, maybe both. For me, it's both reading and writing every single day.
But that doesn't have to be for you. Remember, it has to align with your 1%.
The 3 findings
When you pursue your journey and figure out your 1%, your life will change. Then, you will find your Tribe which helps and supports you and makes you feel safe. And at the end, you will find your System.
With these, you will conquer your goals and achieve your vision.
So what are you waiting for? Go and find your 1%, your Tribe, and your System.
And tell me about it in the comments.