How to Change Your Life by Asking Better Questions
"My husband doesn't love me." "My wife doesn't respect me." "My children think I'm a tyrant." "My life is miserable." These are millions of similar conclusions that people come to every day. We "know" what's happening to us. We "know" what's coming. Then what is wrong if we already have all the answers? How to Change Your Life by Asking Better Questions I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing. - Socrates (told by Plato) Have you noticed that there are people who have everything others can dream of and still they are unhappy? Or that there are others who seem to have so little, yet enjoy their lives? The difference can't be in having or not having things then -- money, cars, houses. What is it then? What is your vision of life? What do you think of it? Do you enjoy it? What do you like in it? Those questions lead to some answers if you start asking them to yourself. On the other hand, if you ask: Why is it so bad? Why is my life is such a mess? Why do people hate me? What is wrong with the world? We get different answers. The funny thing is that there will always be answers out there to your questions, as you will always find what you're looking for. That's why which answers you get depends on the questions you ask. That brings our focus to some specific points. The more concrete questions we ask, the more concrete answers we get, and the more positive questions we ask, the more positive answers we get. Based on this principle, we can call our life a quiz of questions and answers. And questions are playing the primary role for us. If I tell you that you must behave a certain way, it doesn't give you many options. But if I ask you, "What do you think is the proper behavior in this situation?", it invites you to stop, think and choose. All of these processes are happening in our brain all the time. After a while, we create behavior patterns and get comfortable enough in our habits that we stop asking questions and simply react with the prepared answers. This is the moment that progress stops, and we don't develop anymore. When you stop questioning because you think you "know" the answers, it leaves you with a very short list of choices, and cuts you off from all your opportunities. So now I have a question for you: Do you want to make the best out of your life? If the answer is "YES," then let's get to the second question: Do you remember how to ask questions? Not small talk, but the ones that are meant to challenge you and create new opportunities. For example: "What can you learn from today's experience?" Or "What makes you happy about your family?" These types of quality questions can be a game-changer. You can only develop when you have options for growth. So this is as simple as it gets. Lousy questions bring lousy answers and create lousy lives. Quality questions bring quality answers and create quality lives. Which one do you choose?
Life Is for the Living: Embrace the Journey, Not the Struggle
Early morning. The sun rises up over the horizon, its light shining through the office. It's 7:45am. And there he is, sitting in his chair. He always comes in first and leaves last. He works 60-70 hours a week. Every day is a battle. More sales, more projects, more campaigns. The phone keeps ringing. Different voices, different people, same topics. Day after day. Life Is a Journey, Not a Struggle From time to time, he goes out, and after having his lunch sits on the stairs of the building wearing his $3K suit. For a moment, he looks at the horizon and starts dreaming. But in just a second, all of his visions disappear. He straightens his tie and walks back to the office. Time to work. Is that you? Are you the man or woman in a suit? Do you spend your every day in the office, with no days off or vacation time? How does your family take it? Do you have a family? Are you happy? Our life is survived by most and is lived by a few. In a moment like this when you try to erase your dreams and get back to work, you realize that you can't be the same. When the circle gets wider it doesn't shrink. Every step of the way is helping us understand what life truly is. As Joe Cocker sings: "It's good to work... work hard and prosper As long as you take time to find The simple things That come without a price The simple things Like happiness, joy and love in my life..." We often make our lives complicated. The standards of our society demand it. But what if suffering is the societal standard too? Do you want to follow that as well? Or there could be another way? Our life is a journey. We experience it. Live it. Love it. Every one of us has the greatest gift called life. We experience it separately and at the same time, we can enjoy it together. We have to celebrate every moment. When you slow down and stop following society's patterns, you can finally sense yourself. Your inner strength. What you truly are. If you are that man in a suit and are truly happy doing what you do, then that's great. And if you lie to yourself and only do it because it is what you are "supposed to do," then you exist. The good news is that God and the universe truly love us. We are never forgotten and we always have a chance. There is always one more lesson to be taught, and the exam is simple: You pass it if you are fulfilled. You pass it if you enjoy what you do. You pass it if you truly live to your full potential, realize your dreams, and can smile to the sun.