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  • Maya Khamala

    Maya Khamala is a freelance writer and editor interested in gender, race, sexuality, anxiety, and the great power of humour. She likes to write poems in her free time.
Jane Fonda Gives a 'Direct' and 'Unselfconscious' Lesson in Making Friends After 60  But Its Brilliant Anytime
Celebrities

Jane Fonda Gives a 'Direct' and 'Unselfconscious' Lesson in Making Friends After 60 But Its Brilliant Anytime

At 85, Jane Fonda—who celebrated her 85th birthday by announcing her cancer remission—understands firsthand just how crucial friendships are to a sense of health and well-being. After being told by her “favorite” ex-husband, Ted Turner, that making new friends after 60 is just not something you do, she set out to prove everyone wrong—and as with most things in life, the long-renowned actor and activist was successful in her efforts. There are many reasons people say it’s harder to make friends the older you get. From busy lifestyles, to established social circles, divergent life stages, social anxiety, and straight-up fear of rejection, it’s hardly uncommon to feel there are more and more barriers to forging fresh connections as we age.In an interview with CBS, during which Rita Moreno, Sally Field, Jane Fonda, and Lily Tomlin promoted their film, 80 For Brady, Fonda dished on how to meet new people, and how to actively pursue them as friends. Bonus: she even offers a short script one might use to introduce new people into one’s life. Let's dig in, shall we?Jane Fonda On Sustaining And Pursuing Friendships So what’s Jane Fonda's big secret to instigating meaningful friendships, even into an older, golden age? Intention, of course. Direct, unselfconscious intention.Her advice to anyone who’s struggling to truly connect with would-be friends? “You have to be intentional,” she said. “I never used to be intentional. I would meet Sally Field, for example, but not pursue her—well, I did pursue you,” she added, looking at Field. “Oh, goodness sakes, I couldn’t make you stop,” Field joked. Fonda in her defense, responded, "See because she tends to be reclusive."And Fonda’s Grace and Frankie bestie, Tomlin, agreed that she is certainly difficult to ignore. “I don’t really like people that much,” shared Tomlin. “I try to avoid them. But those who are intentional,” she said, pointing at Fonda, “you just can’t get rid of them.” Putting Intentional Friendships Into Practice With Fonda-Style HonestySo, how do you actually put this intentionality into practice and start making new friends? Fonda makes it sound simple, and maybe it is. She says you should seek out the people you most enjoy being around. “You have to pursue people that you want to be friends with,” she said.And for those who still can't imagine just how they’d turn an acquaintance into a friend, she shares a handy script.“…you have to say, ‘I’m intentionally wanting to be your friend,’” she said. “And it works. People hear that and then they stick around, and you develop new friendships.”As far as pre-planned scripts go, this one's a winner because it’s straightforward, honest, and vulnerable—all the qualities of a worthwhile friend, some would say.Jane Fonda On Female FriendshipsLOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 17: (L-R) Actors Lily Tomlin, Dolly Parton and Jane Fonda speak onstage during the 69th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on September 17, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)In her recent interview, Fonda shared that her friendships with women in particular are at the crux of her identity.“I don’t even know what I would do without my women friends,” she said. “I mean it’s, ‘I have my friends, therefore I am.’”“Women sit facing each other, eye-to-eye, and they say, ‘I’m in trouble, I need you, can you help me?’ We’re not afraid of being vulnerable,” she added. Unsurprisingly, there are some men who take feel left out of Fonda’s statement. For instance, @McHoward21 tweeted, "This is bogus and untrue for the men in my circle. I think society projects that as how men ‘are’ but I think in many circles this is not accurate." While it’s true that concepts of masculinity and femininity are most definitely undergoing an era of change, when it comes to friendships, Fonda is nonetheless still hailed as an expert of sorts, and with good reason.Field recently told Entertainment Tonight that she and Fonda have been close since the 1980s, adding that their friendship started when Fonda “literally knocked on my door and said, ‘Come on, we’re going to lunch.’” And Fonda and Tomlin have famously been friends for 40+ years, since they co-starred in the 1980 hit 9 to 5. They pair even gave a TED talk on female friendship in 2015. Jane Fonda Is Right: You Can Make New Friends At Any Age When it comes to making new friends, Fonda hits the nail on the head: quality friends raise your sense of belonging, happiness, and self-worth. They also help you cope with stress, among countless other benefits. In spite of the many ways that our preferences and hangups become more defined as we age, the reality is that friendships are indeed central to our physical and mental health—no matter how old we get. As Jane Fonda so eloquently puts it, putting yourself out there, making real connections, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable are all part and parcel of instigating new and lasting friendships. Perhaps they’re also the secret to feeling youthful for longer, something Fonda seems to know a thing or two about. While it is true that overall, making new friends as an adult requires more effort and intentionality than it does in childhood, adolescence, or even young adulthood, it is still 100% possible with determination, open-mindedness, and the will to leave one's comfort zone now and again. You heard it here first: not only are late-blooming friendships possible, but the chances of making deeper, more authentic friendships later in life is arguably more likely as we grow older, wiser, and become more discerning human beings with a stronger sense of self.MORE FROM GOALCAST

Amber Heard Finds Real Happiness! Why She Said No to Hollywood and Moved to Spain
Celebrities

Amber Heard Finds Real Happiness! Why She Said No to Hollywood and Moved to Spain

Amber Heard chose her own sanity, her daughter's well-being, and made the decision to move to another country. In other words, she gave the metaphorical finger to Hollywood and is doing what's right for her. Last year, Heard was raked through the mud by both Hollywood and fans alike during the uber public court case against her ex-husband, Johnny Depp. Nobody was able to escape news of this extraordinarily high profile celebrity debacle.But Heard has figured out what's right for her. Why Amber Heard Quit Hollywood@amberheard/IMDBThe 37-year-old actress has been absent from the spotlight since the end of the defamation trial in Virginia in 2022, in which she was found to have libeled Depp, 59.Following this ultra turbulent period in the spotlight, reports show that the actress sold her home in Yucca Valley, California, and began spending a significant amount of time in Madrid, Spain. In October 2022 she was spotted on a beach in Mallorca, Spain with her close friend Eve Barlow. One year after the defamation trial from the depths of hell, Amber Heard hasn’t just said goodbye to showbiz—she’s literally departed the country, choosing to carve out a new life in Madrid. When her trial was finally over, Amber Heard’s thoughts were entirely focused on the quality time she would be able to spend with her daughter, Oonagh Paige Heard.“I get to be a mom full-time, where I’m not having to juggle calls with lawyers.” The actress welcomed her daughter via surrogacy two years ago because she wanted to have a baby on her own and not worry about finding a partner first. The decision to raise her child away from all the noise and scrutiny was also a significant factor in her decision to relocate. The news apparently left her former boyfriend Elon Musk happy, as it meant she was accepting and acting on his advice to “move on,” following the trial.Ultimately, it seems that Heard—who’s last appearance onscreen will be a cameo in Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom—has truly decided to leave Hollywood behind and start a new chapter in Spain. Heard hasn’t worked since filming Aquaman in 2021, followed soon after by filming for the upcoming period drama thriller In The Fire.Amber Heard Is Focused on Motherhood…in a Faraway Land@amberheard/InstagramA year after her ex-husband, Johnny Depp sued her for defamation, and just as journalist Nick Wallis prepared to publish his second book, “Depp v Heard: The Unreal Story,” (published May 17, 2023), Heard is finally focusing on motherhood—in a faraway land.Since her departure from Hollywood, Heard has chosen to dedicate her time to raising her two-year-old daughter, which is exactly where her focus was following the trial. These days, the paparazzi frequently spot the actress in Spain, happily spending time with her daughter. She seems content as she poses for photos with fans, if her Instagram account is any indication, she is loving raising her daughter and not thinking about what other people might think of her. In one photo, she holds her baby while working out and jokes about not needing dumbbells. “I love Spain so much. I hope I can get to stay here, I love living here,” she shares.While Heard’s decision to move to Spain may come as a surprise to her fans, it appears that she has found real joy by living a more private and peaceful life away from the limelight. Whether she will eventually return to Hollywood remains uncertain, but for now, Heard is embracing her life in a new country and finding joy in being a mother.Is Amber Heard Truly Done With the Spotlight? A friend of Amber Heard’s recently shed light on her decision to leave Hollywood and relocate to Spain with her young daughter. The source shared that Heard feels comfortable there as she knows the language. “She’s bilingual in Spanish and is happy there, raising her daughter away from all the noise.” “I don’t think she is in any hurry to return to work or to Hollywood,” they said, “but she will probably come back when the time is right, for the right project.”Meanwhile, Depp remains just fine in the Hollywood trenches: he’s walked in the Savage X Fenty show, has hawked portraits of dead celebrities, and is now directing a film about the famous Italian artist Amedeo Modigliani before hitting the road with his band, The Hollywood Vampires. That being said, it’s nice to see Heard flourishing in her own very different way.Sometimes Moving on Is the Best Thing You Can Do@amberheard/InstagramThe fact that Amber Heard has found peace and happiness in her new surroundings with her daughter is a testament to the power, of well, new surroundings. Sometimes all you can do is move on—even, and especially—under the most horrific of circumstances. Not to mention, it takes considerable effort and love to raise a child independently. So Amber Heard’s choice to raise her daughter in a more peaceful climate, away from the chaos of Hollywood drama does seem like a very reasonable decision, at least for the time being.While some people (particularly Amber’s steadfast fans) may take issue with Heard calling it quits on a career she worked hard to build, the door is always open to her should she choose to return in the coming months or even years. Chances are high that if she does, she will be discerning with the roles she chooses. As her friend put it: she will probably come back for the right project.Herein lies the silver lining for those among us who have lived through truly trying times: if and when we choose to move on and direct our attentions toward something more worthy of our limited energies (be it a child, a project, or a new goal), there is a reward lying in wait. Because when we learn to move on, and forward, the adversity we have experienced nurtures authentic growth. While growth may look a little different for everybody, a feeling of being at peace with less attention and less action is a sure sign that it’s taking place. Life is short but it is also long, and we would all be wise to act according to our emotional needs and our truest desires, just as Amber Heard has seemingly chosen to do.

Lionel Richie and Lisa Parigis 40-Year Age Gap Stunned Fans How 10 Years Later She Still Makes Me Feel Safe
Celebrities

Lionel Richie and Lisa Parigis 40-Year Age Gap Stunned Fans How 10 Years Later She Still Makes Me Feel Safe

Soul icon Lionel Richie, 73, and his girlfriend of nine years, Lisa Parigi, 33, have generated a whole lot of side-eye gossip in their time together thus far. Although their whopping 41-year age gap is hardly a rarity in the celebrity world, partners a mere 20 years younger are perhaps more normalized, and therefore less shocking.Parigi may be younger than Richie's daughter Nicole, but that hasn't stopped the family from bonding. Judgement and criticism aside, the reality is that Richie is happily in love with the mixed Swiss, Chinese, and Caribbean model and designer since 2014 – and they appear just as smitten today as they did when they first crossed each other’s paths. How Lionel Richie Met Lisa Parigi @lisaparigi/InstagramLionel and Lisa’s love story began when Lisa Parigi was invited to a dinner party while on a trip to Los Angeles from Switzerland. While she was attending this party, Parigi and the American Idol judge were introduced to one another by mutual friends. Suffice it to say, the sparks between them were immediate, and the rest, as they say, is history.Although they lived on opposite ends of the world when they met, Richie and Parigi’s connection was 100% undeniable, and could simply not be ignored. Over the course of countless long conversations, they both found themselves magnetically drawn to one other’s unique perspectives, as well as shared passions. In short, they both knew they’d stumbled upon something rare and precious. “We had great conversations, we spoke all night long about everything,” Parigi said. “It’s been beautiful so far.”Richie's Past Relationships @lionelrichie/InstagramTwice-divorced, Richie’s love life has seen a lot of ups and downs over the years. Although it hasn’t been the smoothest ride, however, it looks like it might just have been worth the journey.In 1975, Richie married Brenda Harvey, his college sweetheart. They were together for close to 18 years, during which time they adopted then 9-year-old Nicole Richie in 1990. His relationship with Harvey, however, eventually came to a rocky end, and the pair went their separate ways.In 1996, Richie married his second wife, Diane Alexander. They had a son, Miles, and a daughter, Sofia, before filing for a divorce in 2004. After going through the pain of two divorces, the singer opened up about his feelings on marriage, saying, “I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’m a little spooked on that.”Why Lionel Richie and Lisa Parigi Just Work Despite criticism and speculation galore about their relationship, Richie and Parigi have managed to keep their romance mostly private - perhaps even more importantly, they refrain from addressing haters and naysayers. This speak volumes about the strength of their commitment and their desire to focus on their love rather than on what others think of them.As Richie has shared, “At this time in my life, when you can be so jaded about things, Lisa kind of makes everything feel a bit safe.”RELATED: Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward’s 50-Year Marriage Was Based on Four Words – Two You Wouldn’t Suspect“I’m a man who’s been through the ups and the downs, the ins and the outs of love,” he continued, before gushing about Lisa: “she’s extremely beautiful, but most importantly she’s smart and helps me deal with my crazy world.”The fact that their relationship extends to loving bonds between Lisa and his children as well, is a sure sign that those closest to the couple understand and accept their union. The family can often be seen spending quality time together, and Parigi has even posted pictures on social media showcasing her close relationship with Richie’s daughter, Sofia.When Richie was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2022, he extended his gratitude to those closest to him:”I’m on the stage tonight. But the most important thing is I want to thank all of my friends, my family, Miles, Sofie, Nicole. The grandkids. Lisa, my heart.”Lionel Richie’s love for Lisa Parigi is palpable and difficult to deny, no matter how skeptical one may feel about their age gap.Sometimes, Age Really Is Just A Number@lisaparigi/InstagramUltimately, Lionel and Lisa’s love story is a testament to the fact that sometimes, in cases of authentic, heartfelt connection, age truly is just a number. In other words, while age can be measured and quantified, and proven, love is a whole lot harder to pin down, define, or explain. The heart wants what it wants, after all. Although it’s undeniably true that significant age gaps cannot be dismissed or simply ignored - since they do create a discrepancy in lived experience and perspective - where there's a will (or, two wills, to be precise), there's a way to move past it. Sometimes, divergences of experience can even be a strength, as both partners can teach one another, sharing different types of knowledge.While it can be difficult to tune out the judgement, criticism, and speculation of others, a happy and satisfying romantic relationship is rewarding in and of itself, and can go a long way toward fortifying you against what others happen to think. Remember: they’re basing their views on stereotypes. If you have the confidence to do you, and to do your love justice,there’s not a whole lot that can go wrong.

Spiritual Health

Aura Colors & Their Meanings: A Comprehensive Guide

The human body radiates a very low level of electricity that’s otherwise known as an electromagnetic field — or an aura. Though there are no scientific studies to prove the existence of auras, many practices and philosophies throughout the world have long believed in their existence. However, the interpretation of what an aura actually is, or what it might mean, can vary. Shall we explore? What Is an Aura?Photo by Sigmund on UnsplashAuras refer to the largely unseen field of energy surrounding a human’s physical body, although other living things, such as trees, flowers, or animals, can also have an energy field. The appearance of your own aura is impacted by your mood and emotional state. Much like a mood ring, different colors are associated with different traits and emotions. An aura reader (or aura readings) might tell you that these colors and their meanings are actually a combination of different colors, with one being more dominant than the rest. It’s believed that these layers of colorful light emanating from our bodies can demonstrate our state of being—be it associated with physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional health. Ancient systems of medicine, such as Hindu scriptures like the Vedas, believe that a person’s aura is expressed in layers of color. RELATED: Chakras | A Complete Guide to the 7 Chakras and their MeaningsThe aura color wheel consists of seven main colors: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. Each of these colors corresponds to one of the seven main energy points in your body, AKA chakras, though auras are by no means limited to these colors. These chakras include the throat chakra, the root chakra, the sacral chakra, the third eye chakra, the crown chakra, the heart chakra and the solar plexus chakra. We can study and learn more about our auras by getting an aura reading. During a reading, a person trained to see auras may do a reading without the need for any special equipment. Alternatively, a reading may involve photographing your aura with a camera specialized in capturing electromagnetic fields. The Layers of Your Aura(Getty)The seven layers of your aura (also known as bodies or planes) each represent something different.Physical aura planeThe physical aura plane is the layer representing your physical health -- in the physical realm. Fittingly, it’s the layer closest to your skin.Emotional aura planeThe emotional aura plane is associated with your emotions. If you’re currently ruled by your emotions, it’s going to show up here. Your emotional plane changes color depending on your mood. If you’re stressed or overwhelmed, it may look dull or smudged. Mental aura planeThe third layer out from your body, your mental aura plane corresponds to your sense of logic, reasoning, and your thinking mind. RELATED: Awaken the Fire Within: 5 Ways to Connect to Your Spiritual FlameAstral body aura planeYour astral plane is connected to your spiritual health. It also happens to be where you store your capacity to feel and express love. Etheric aura planeThe etheric aura plane is where your psychic abilities live. When unimpeded, your etheric plane helps you tap into the energy of others, so you can connect with those “on a similar wavelength," emoting universal energy.Celestial aura planeThe celestial plane is the dwelling place of your dreams and intuition. It’s also known as the plane of enlightenment. Highly creative people tend to have a strong celestial plane.Causal aura planeThe causal plane is the final layer. It serves to create harmony between all the other layers, and ultimately acts as a guide to keep you on your life path. Aura Meanings Based On Color(Getty)Red aura Red corresponds to the root chakra, and it relates to our physical body, as well as the physical world that surrounds us. Those with red in their auras are powerful people who rarely deny themselves the pleasures of the physical plane. Red tends to show up in the auras of people who are fearless, passionate, and unapologetic, and possess an inbuilt understanding of their physicality. Typically unafraid of death, over-indulgence, sensuality, or risk, they enjoy manifesting their desires on a material level and are no strangers to adventure. In part, it's their restlessness that keeps them so driven. As the brightness of a color in your aura can indicate different things too, it’s worth noting that dark or murky red might indicate anger, frustration, trauma, or exhaustion.Pink auraPink vibrates at a similar frequency as green, which corresponds to the heart chakra, and is typically associated with feminine energy. Pink is rarely seen in an aura, but it does happen. Light pink can be seen in the auras of those who are gentle and give off pleasant, loving energy to everyone they meet, inspiring feelings of comfort in those around them. RELATED: How to Calm the Chaos of Everyday Life with Mindfulness MeditationDeeply sensitive, they fully embrace the ideals of romantic love, and are often adept at keeping romance alive and kicking. People with pink in their auras tend to be natural creatives and healers with strong intuition. Even at the worst of times, a person with a pink aura can help heal others by sheer virtue of their presence. They remind us to be gentle with each other and with the world.Magenta auraPeople with magenta in their aura are rare and true. A combination of red and blue, magenta mixes a potent understanding of the physical world with an elevated ability to think intuitively. This powerful combination makes people with magenta auras extremely well-suited to creative endeavors. They have boundless energy, and are fueled by innovative ideas. While they can sometimes seem eccentric, their bonafide originality generally drums up positive attention from others. These individuals are not the kind to follow the crowd. They relish shaking people from their ordinary routines. Unique and optimistic, they tend to look at life overall with a well-developed sense of humor. Although strong-willed and intelligent, they are rarely understood. Fortunately, they aren’t usually worried about the judgments of others, and are happy simply doing justice to themselves.Orange aura Orange is the color of the sacral chakra, which is linked to creativity, sensuality, and the emotional plane. People with orange auras have a hard time being idle—they love a thrill and want to experience all they can in the span of their life. Orange is also the energetic center for relationships and interactions, with a high value placed on friendship. RELATED: Sacral Chakra: How to (Playfully) Heal a Blocked Sacral ChakraOrange in an aura indicates a person who tends to flow with joyful exchanges, whether relating to work, love, or family. These highly perceptive and dynamic people have a natural ability to be relatable and sociable, which makes them great at teamwork. Friendships develop rapidly for those with orange auras. Because they yearn for newness and all things sensual, those with a dulled orange in their auras may be dealing with addiction or trouble sticking to commitments.Yellow auraYellow corresponds to the solar plexus chakra, which rules the intellect, self-confidence, and personal power. Those with yellow in their aura have strong self-esteem and tend to be happy individuals capable of inspiring greatness in others. People with yellow auras glow like the sun and have a natural ability to encourage and support others simply by being who they are. There is a fount of inner joy at the core of their being, so it’s no wonder that they draw other people to them the way that they do. These radiant souls are also skilled at complex analysis. When the yellow is darker or denser in our aura, it may indicate a propensity for self-criticism, perfectionism, overconfidence, or self-ruled by the ego (or an ego-driven self).RELATED: Solar Plexus Chakra: The Meaning of the 3rd ChakraTan auraA tan colored aura shows up for those who are extra logical or analytical, with a strategic, linear way of thinking. These are methodical, practical people who never cut corners—they aim to build relationships step by baby step, slowly but surely. Unsurprisingly, these detail-oriented folks are highly tactical, and often have the ability to accomplish tedious or mind-numbing tasks that overwhelm others. Although they are very down-to-earth and place a high value on long-term commitments, they are quite risk-averse and have a hard time sharing their feelings with others.Green aura Green auras bridge the divide between spiritual and physical worlds, and are associated with the heart chakra, AKA the center of healing and personal growth. Those with green in their auras radiate unconditional love and peaceful life force energy sensed by all who enter their presence. They are often drawn to nature and animals and are skilled self healers. RELATED: Heart Chakra: Everything You Need to Know About the Fourth ChakraThese are the most balanced people in the whole color spectrum, as they can just as easily give focus to their own goals as they can to the people they care about. They have a strong sense of responsibility to others, while also being powerful self advocators. They are focused, deeply creative, and do not shy away from high ideals. If the green is dark or muddy, it may, however, indicate envy, or feeling like a victim.Blue aura(Getty)A light turquoise blue is the color corresponding to the throat chakra, which rules one’s power of communication and self-expression. Someone with a true, bright blue in their aura has natural gifts of self-expression, and a powerful ability to speak their truth under a variety of circumstances. Individuals with light blue in their aura possess great inner wisdom and tend to rely on their feelings to make decisions without the need for external or factual data. These true blue dreamers place a great deal of importance on their personal relationships and connections. Honest, clear, and direct communication is crucial to them. Their ability to share knowledge makes them great philosophers. The lighter the blue in an aura, the more peaceful and positive a person’s energy happens to be.Indigo aura Indigo blue corresponds to the third eye chakra, and is associated with inner knowledge and intuition. Those with indigo in their aura trust said intuition and can easily tell the difference between truth and illusion. They are very sensitive to the energy of others and are extremely ‘tapped in.’ In other words, they often know things before they happen, and are known to have premonitory and/or lucid dreams. RELATED: Third Eye Chakra: How to Open Your 3rd EyeHighly sensitive and empathetic, they operate from the depths of feeling rather than logic. They truly understand that being present in the here and now is integral. Natural explorers, they view the world as something much bigger than themselves. As great communicators, they help others to gain a better understanding of the mysterious beauty that surrounds them. A dark or cloudy indigo can indicate self doubt, uncertainty, or a break with intuition.Purple auraPurple or violet corresponds to the crown chakra, which is linked to a connection with the dreamworld and higher consciousness. Purple vibrates at a very high speed, signaling a close connection with the universe. Those with purple in their auras are highly dynamic, charming, and have strong personalities. They have highly active minds and are able to manifest their projections in the material world with ease. Their goal in life is to show humankind the way to a new era of happiness and prosperity. These unique souls are no strangers to insightful ideas that take the wellbeing of the entire world as we know it into account. They have an unshakeable drive to do something significant while alive. True visionaries, they are gifted with both knowledge and intuition, and are generally adept at seeing ‘the big picture’ related to any given situation. Natural empaths, they sense others' vibrations easily.White aura (Getty)An all-white aura is indicative of someone who has transcended the physical world. Unsurprisingly, these people are exceedingly rare—it’s possible there are only a few inhabiting this earth. People with white auras exist free from personal problems, disturbances, addictions, or health issues. Slightly more common are those with white in their auras, along with other colors. These are people who live in a spiritually centered state while projecting a certain receptiveness to the universe at large. RELATED: The Value Of Introspection For Personal And Spiritual GrowthTypically unconcerned with worldly matters like ambition, they tend to focus their energies instead on pursuits like truth or purity. These seekers of cosmic wisdom have energy that is uplifting and non judgemental. When there is white in an aura but it looks cloudy or murky, this can signify a state of flux or confusion.Multi-colored auraThose with multiple colors in their aura are said to be “rainbowing.” They tend to experience life a little chaotically. While this usually points to multiple positive things happening simultaneously, it can still get overwhelming at times. Rainbow people are often being pulled in many different directions at once, compared to those who have fewer colors in their auras and are focused on just a few main facets of their lives. If you stop to think about each color in your aura as a different state of consciousness you're swimming in, or a different aspect of yourself, it can quickly become a lot to deal with. While those with multicolored auras can accomplish a lot, rainbows are the double-edged sword of auras.Aura Anomalies(Getty)Aside from color itself, you may notice any of the following details in your aura rendering as well. Here’s what they mean!Bars of lightIf bars or rays of light show up in your portrait (usually white), this can indicate that you are directly connected to the universe, the spirit, or the divine. Those with rays in their auras are in a state where their crown chakra is open, and they are open to receiving messages or energies from other frequencies or dimensions. Orbs of lightWhen orbs of light appear in aura portraits, they often represent protective or spiritual energy that lives with the person, as a sort of guiding light. The color meanings of orbs are somewhat mysterious, however. Most singular orbs show up in the same spot in photographs—the upper left corner, or over the right shoulder. In general, orbs don’t appear over or near our bodies. Rather, they surround us in the consciousness area of our aura. Black or transparent When you are feeling burnt out, exhausted or ill, it's highly likely that the color(s) of your aura will be less bright, and your aura photo will appear dark. It’s important to understand that there is no such thing as a black aura—rather, anything resembling black is simply a lack of energy. Colors may appear subdued or transparent, which depicts a depletion of energy and a real need to rest, recharge, and revitalize.There are many more aura color meaning possibilities to be named, but this rough guide gives you a basic understanding upon which you can launch a more thorough reading of your auric energies! Our different aura colors showcase thought, intention, and desire at any given point in time. The more colorful, clear, and bright the palate, the stronger and more balanced the person tends to be. Auras can reveal a lot about us, be it our character traits, our personality, or our feelings. They speak louder than we do, after all—all we have to do is see them.

7 Ways to Summon Hope — Even When All Hopefulness Is Lost
Motivation

7 Ways to Summon Hope — Even When All Hopefulness Is Lost

To have hope is to have a reasonable expectation that good things will happen — or that bad things will not. That is, according to the American Psychological Association (APA), who claim that we can all harness hope in a number of ways: as an emotion, a motivating call to action, a coping mechanism that helps you navigate grief and loss—or, all of the above. A far cry from the trappings of false or toxic positivity, genuine hopefulness grounds us in an authentically positive outlook, helping to build resilience in the face of events that can be challenging or traumatic. In other words, having hope helps us get through hard times relatively unscathed.No One Is Exempt From Losing HopeAs integral as hope is to our lives, everybody has moments when they feel totally hopeless. Often triggered by stress, trauma, or repeated failures, hopelessness can become so severe that your will to carry on is compromised. Simply getting out of bed can be a challenge at times like these. Activities that once brought you joy may fail to elicit any reaction whatsoever. You may gravitate toward self-isolation rather than engage with people who seem to inhabit a different planet: one where hope still exists. RELATED: Man Decides to Spread Hope on His Morning Jog – What He Does Ends Up Saving LivesYou may feel like a shell of your former self, lacking energy, and merely going through the motions while hardly being present. Under such circumstances, an inability to plan or work towards goals is commonplace. It’s worth mentioning that for those who tend to suffer from depression or anxiety (even on a good day), cultivating hope can be crucial to symptom management. Persistent feelings of hopelessness so often characterize depression, and in the case of anxiety, fear is often a core factor. In both instances, a perceived lack of control so often accompanies the feeling that things just aren’t going to work out. Figuring out how to summon hope— particularly when circumstances are extremely difficult—is an integral step toward getting your life back.Consider These 7 Strategies for Rekindling Hope Against All OddsFaris Mohammed/Unsplash 1. See the Silver Lining in Losing All HopeWhile there is no shortage of advice out there about holding onto hope, it can be helpful to acknowledge that, ironically, hope can hinder us at times. While hope can act as a powerful motivator, it can sometimes morph into something like intense yearning. Whether you’re hoping to conquer anxiety, land your dream job, find love, make more money, or achieve that perfect beach bod, disappointment is hope's dark side. The good news? Lost hope offers a silver lining, should you choose to accept it. When you lose hope, you may also lose your grip on damaging expectations you’ve placed on yourself (or on others). This, in turn, can offer a sense of freedom from the pressures of meeting these expectations. Indeed, sometimes, losing all hope can be the first step toward accepting that certain things may simply not be possible right now. In turn, this can help you to move on and refocus your energies. 2. Acknowledge How Difficult it is to Feel HopefulLooking for a silver lining at the worst of times may feel downright ridiculous. And if your hope isn’t genuine, it won’t be much of a help to you. But acknowledging how hard it is to feel hopeful is an important step in the process of working through your emotions. It can help you validate your feelings, accept them, and finally begin to move forward. Friendly reminder: having hope doesn’t have to be about always keeping on the proverbial sunny side. Hope is a reasonable (realistic) expectation that something positive may happen—and that you have some measure of control over how things turn out. If you’re really at a loss, it might be helpful to “borrow” sources of hope from others: sometimes, reflecting on what brings your friends or family hope can start to transform your own outlook— a positive contagion.3. Don't Forget About Self-CareMiguel Bruna/UnsplashCultivating hope in your life begins with developing a stronger awareness of your emotions, as well as the triggers that launch you into different states of mind. Once you have a better baseline understanding of your emotional landscape, acts of self-care become much more intuitive because you know what authentic comfort consists of for you personally. This might include a range of different activities, be it working out, working on a creative project, watching favorite movies or TV shows, or taking the time to cook delicious meals for yourself. Though they may seem minor, small acts that bring you some measure of comfort, joy, or mental wellbeing are your foundation for hope: they provide moments to look forward to, even when things feel beyond your control.4. Reframe From Negative Self-TalkTrying to reframe negative thought patterns is everything — of course, it’s no easy feat. Even if we understand that the things we instinctively tell ourselves are not entirely true, the habit of saying them is the problem. Whether it’s assigning persecutory meaning to the actions of others; immediately catastrophizing when things go wrong in small or temporary ways; or filtering out the positive and only absorbing the negative aspects of a given situation, negative self-talk is not easy to unravel, but rerouting your narrative is entirely possible when you commit to working at it. For instance, if you’re mired in negative narratives around never finding love, you may need to consciously interject each time your mind tells you “it’s bound to go wrong,” offering yourself an amended version instead: “there’s really no reason this won’t go right.” While it may feel fake at first, you may be surprised how quickly the switch-up begins to ring true.5. Remember That You do Have Some Agency.Nick Fewings/UnsplashBeing hopeful relies in part on having a sense of control or influence on events in your life. Since there are surely situations beyond your control (such as the death of a loved one), there are times when you’ll need to exercise your agency by finding ways to relieve unpleasant emotions, rather than grasping for control over the uncontrollable. Harnessing your agency might include elements of your self-care routine, and/or it may be extended outwards, to finding ways to help others (i.e., volunteering at a local community organization close to your heart). Sometimes, being reminded that you do still have the ability to make some impact, however small, is just what you need to reignite a hopeful heart.6. Cultivate Close ConnectionBeing able to acknowledge the awfulness of a given situation with others—good listeners, at that—can make all the difference in the world. Sometimes, reflecting with engaged and empathetic others can improve your own capacity to cope. Being able to have open, vulnerable conversations, thereby working through your feelings without totally isolating yourself, is key. If you already have people you can open up to, make it a point to have regular check-ins. And never underestimate the power of reciprocity: listening to your friends and helping them through their own issues will likely benefit you as well.And if you don’t have close relationships, there are ways to build them. For instance, if you know people you’d like to be closer to, you might try initiating a support group with them (be it via Zoom or in person). You might just be surprised how many people are going through parallel struggles and are 100% interested in mutual support. 7. Work With a TherapistJoshua Earle/UnsplashIf none of the above ideas have any traction for you, and help continues to elude you at every turn, you might consider working with a qualified therapist. Sometimes, what we need most of all is someone who offers us the space to voice our worries and weaknesses alike and help us uncover meaningful ways of working through them. Can’t afford therapy? Consider the following tips for finding an affordable and accessible therapist.While many of us are finding it challenging to stay positive given the current state of the world, genuine hope begins small—with you and your feelings. When cultivated with commitment, hope slowly extends outward—to the events in your life, and how you react to them. While at the worst of times, hope may seem laughable, it’s also the key to surviving (nay, thriving) in the face of it all.

How Does Stephen King Write So Fast? Learn the Secret to the Master of Horror's Success
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How Does Stephen King Write So Fast? Learn the Secret to the Master of Horror's Success

Renowned American horror novelist and short fiction writer Stephen King, born Stephen Edwin King, was born in 1947 in Portland, Maine—the state in which so many of his famous stories would someday unfold. He grew up poor and struggled financially in his young adulthood. King graduated from the University of Maine in 1970 with a bachelor’s degree in English. He supported himself while writing short stories by teaching and working as a janitor, among several other jobs. His first novel, Carrie, was published in 1974—and was an immediate popular success. It was the first of many novels in which King blended horror, fantasy, the macabre, and science fiction elements.RELATED: Writer’s Block: 7 Tips to Help You Overcome Writing BlocksTo date, Stephen King’s books have sold 400 million+ copies worldwide, with many of them also adapted to feature films, TV movies, and comic books. He’s not known as the “master of horror” for nothing, after all. King, 75, has published 64 novels and counting, including seven under the pen name Richard Bachman, and five non-fiction books. He has written over 200 short stories, most of which have been compiled in collections.The question here is, how on earth does Stephen King write so fast? How Does Steven King Write So Fast?In 2016, fellow bestselling author George R.R. Martin sat down for a deep-dive discussion with Stephen King, during which he asked the famously prolific novelist: “How the f— do you write so many books so fast?”“I think, ‘Oh, I’ve had a really good six months — I’ve written three chapters!” Martin continued, “and you’ve finished three books in that time.”RELATED: Writer Interviews 300 People About Their Morning Routines – and the Key Takeaways Will Surprise You“Here’s the thing,” replied King. “There are books and there are books.” He went on to explain that he writes for three or four hours every day and tries to produce half a dozen “fairly clean” pages in that daily period. “So if the manuscript is, say, 360 pages long, that’s basically two months’ work — but that’s assuming it goes well.”How Many Words Does Stephen King Write per Day?In 2002, Stephen King published On Writing: A Memoir of the Craftin order to share his writing philosophy and techniques with other would-be wordsmiths. In his book, King addresses his writing pace. He sets a daily goal of about 2000 words, which aligns with what he later told Martin. This would add up to roughy 180,000 words produced in three months’ time. RELATED: 20 Stephen King Quotes that Will Scare Your Fear AwayHaving a solid morning routine can make a world of difference, both with regard to staying in the right mindset, as well as trying to produce a specific number of pages or words per day.King also wrote that three months was the maximum amount of time it should take (ideally) to finish the first draft of a novel, because if it takes longer, it becomes more challenging to dive back in with the right mindset. Unsurprisingly, King has also participated in marathon writing sessions. Notably, he wrote The Running Man in just one week.Applying King’s Techniques to Your WritingPennywise the Dancing Clown from Stephen King's ItFirst things first: understand that Stephen King is an anomaly, an exception to the usual rules. While budding writers can learn a ton from his process, you should never feel inadequate because you don’t write or publish at a comparable rate—no one does.That said, there are still ways to apply Stephen King’s techniques and overall ethos to your writing endeavors. The following two foundational principles can help you form a healthy and fruitful writing practice:RELATED: Top 13 Stephen Hawking Quotes to Inspire You to Think BiggerWrite for yourself, because you love itKing is an undeniable talent—his books have the ability to captivate a wide audience due to their realistic detail, and his incredible ability to engage (and therefore scare) the reader. Nonetheless, he has at times been criticized and dismissed as undisciplined and inelegant. Perhaps this is why he insists that writers must “write for themselves” instead of aiming to please others. How? By writing what they love and care about—according to King, if you love something, you should be able to do it forever…and enjoy the process.Read and write…constantlyOne of Stephen King’s most famous quotes is, “If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all else: read a lot and write a lot.” If you’re a King fan, you’ll have heard this piece of advice many times. As prolific a writer as he is, King somehow still manages to read about 80 books a year.According to King, ”If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write.” 15 More Lessons From Stephen King to Help Turn You Into a Better WriterIf you’re working on a writing project of any kind (or any creative project), you can probably kick your process up a notch or two by borrowing a few strategies from Stephen King's wheelhouse.1. Ixnay on the Netflix Particularly if you're just starting out, TV should be the first thing to go, according to King, since it's "poisonous to creativity.” Writers need to look inward, toward the life of the imagination. It should go without saying that the same goes for social media, YouTube, the internet in general, etc.2. Tell the truthWhen it comes to figuring out what to write about, King has an empowering answer: “Anything you damn well want...as long as you tell the truth...Write what you like, then imbue it with life and make it unique by blending in your own personal knowledge of life, friendship, relationships, sex, and work...What you know makes you unique in some other way. Be brave.” 3. Write with the door closedWhen in writing mode, do what you can to disconnect from the world outside and eliminate distractions. Writing should an intimate activity. King suggests, "Write with the door closed; rewrite with the door open.” Maintain total privacy between you and your first draft. King calls the first draft "completely raw…it’s the story undressed, standing up in nothing but its socks and undershorts.”4. To plan or not to planWhile writing schools and universities around the world teach that one should plan their story around a standard structure, King says he doesn’t plan his books. Instead, he simply begins with a situation, eg: two children lost in the woods find something shiny sticking out from under the leaves. From that scenario, he writes, allowing the story to develop. The absence of advance preparation allows him to write more quickly, too.5. Don’t be pretentiousAccording to King, one of the worst things you can do to your writing is to “dress up the vocabulary, looking for long words because you're maybe a little bit ashamed of your short ones.” He compares this to dressing up a family pet in fancy clothes—it's excessive. Similarly, symbolism "exists to adorn and enrich, not to create an artificial sense of profundity," he writes.6. Avoid adverbs…unflinchinglyKing believes that, "the road to hell is paved with adverbs.” As he emphasizes numerous times in his memoir, "the adverb is not your friend,” and they’re a special kind of overkill after "he said" and "she said"—phrases best left unenhanced by tell-all words like angrily, mercilessly, sorrowfully, joyfully, or suspiciously.7. Hone your descriptiveness"Description begins in the writer's imagination, but should finish in the reader's," writes King. Mastering the art of description entails limiting what you say rather than writing “enough." Envision what you want your reader to experience, and transcribe what's in your head to the page. Describe things “in a way that will cause your reader to prickle with recognition," he says. Don’t become overly enchanted with your powers of description and lose sight of the story—be clear, and use fresh images and simple vocabulary.RELATED: 17 Margaret Atwood Quotes to Inspire the Writer in You8. Don’t get lost in the backgroundLimit the background information that you provide. "There's a difference between lecturing about what you know and using it to enrich the story," writes King. Only include details that move your story forward and that compel your reader to keep reading. If research is necessary, don’t let it steal the story’s thunder. Even if what you're learning is fascinating, says King, your readers will care a lot more about your characters and your story.9. Create multi-dimensional charactersBad writing is often born from an obstinate refusal to tell stories about the things people actually do, as they do them—to face the fact, for instance, that psycho killers “still help old ladies cross the street," writes King. The people in your stories are what readers become most invested in, so be sure to address the many dimensions your characters might possess.10. Dig deepKing writes that tackling difficult topics can make you “ashamed,” because “words diminish your feelings.” He likens writing to “refined thinking,” beseeching writers to dig deeply when tackling challenging issues. "Stories are relics, part of an undiscovered pre-existing world,” he says, and writers should act as archaeologists, unearthing as much of the story as they can.11. Take risksFirst and foremost, begs King, stop using the passive voice—it’s the biggest sign of fear in a writer. "I'm convinced that fear is at the root of most bad writing," he says. Writers should throw caution to the wind and let their writing take charge. "Try any goddamn thing you like, no matter how boringly normal or outrageous. If it works, fine. If it doesn't, toss it," he says.12. Don’t copy someone elseResist trying to steal or emulate someone else's voice unless it’s just for practice. When you try to mimic another writer's style for any other reason, King insists it you'll only produce "pale imitations" because you can never try to replicate the way someone experiences truth, which is what good (nay, great) writing is based on.13. When you're done, let it breatheThe text, that is. King suggests six weeks of "recuperation time" after you're finished a draft, so you can return to it with a clear mind and be able to spot any glaring holes in plot or issues with character. When you do find your mistakes, he says (and you will), "You are forbidden to feel depressed about them or to beat up on yourself. Screw-ups happen to the best of us.” 14. Cut like a knifeIn the process of revision, writers often have a hard time detaching from words and phrases they spent a long time writing. But, as King counsels, "Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler's heart, kill your darlings.” You’ll want to cut the boring parts of course, as well as anything that simply isn’t part of the story you’re telling.15. Expect failure and criticismNot only will you doubt yourself, says King, but other people will doubt you, too. Often, you’ll need to keep writing even when you’d rather be doing anything else. "Stopping a piece of work just because it's hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea," he writes. When you fail (we all do), King suggests staying positive. "Optimism is a perfectly legitimate response to failure,” he insists. When all is said and done, King attributes his ongoing success to two things: his physical health and his longterm marriage to fellow novelist, Tabitha King. "The combination of a healthy body and a stable relationship with a self-reliant woman who takes zero shit from me or anyone else has made the continuity of my working life possible," he writes. In other words, even for a writer as astoundingly prolific as Stephen King, a strong sense of balance is key, because if writing consumes you, then, well, there’s nothing left—not even writing. Although no one but Stephen King can be Stephen King, know this: nothing you write is ever a waste of time. Your efforts can’t not positively impact your talents as a writer and get you closer to where you want to be, even if it takes you longer than, well, Stephen King.After all, while learning tips from other writers on how to write a book or be a better writer can be invaluable, every writer has their own unique path and process.KEEP READING: Why J.K. Rowling’s Controversies Crushed Harry Potter Fans and Changed Celebrity Culture

Unstoppable Mom: How Allyson Felix Is Helping Moms Everywhere Get Child Care
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Unstoppable Mom: How Allyson Felix Is Helping Moms Everywhere Get Child Care

Some people heard Allyson Felix’s name for the first time back in 2019 when she wrote a New York Times op-ed blasting Nike for maternity policies that didn't support its sponsored athletes.RELATED: 90 Motivational & Inspirational Quotes for WomenThis is a woman, an accomplished athlete, and a mother who takes nothing for granted, and demands rights for all working mothers in the US. Who Is Allyson Felix?But besides being a badass advocate both for herself and other athlete moms, Allyson Felix, 36—now retired—also happens to be the most decorated woman in Olympic track and field history, according to the International Olympic Committee. She’s also the most decorated American track and field athlete in Olympic history, having earned 11 total medals from 12 finals at five consecutive Olympic Games. If that wasn’t impressive enough, she has also won 19 career medals from World Championships finals to go along with her Olympic collection.RELATED: Turn Your Favorite Sports Movie Quotes into a Game Plan for LifeWhen Felix was still a teen, her high school teammates called her "Chicken Legs,” because the five-foot-six, 125-pound sprinter had skinny legs despite her incredible strength.While not quite the fastest person in the world—that particular accolade remains with Jamaican athlete Ursain Bolt—her bronze medal in the 400 meters at the Tokyo 2021 Olympics set the record for women 35+ with a time of 49.46.How Allyson Felix Took a Stand for Moms EverywhereIn her famous op-ed, Felix shared a slice of her struggle to secure maternity protections from her longtime sponsor, Nike:“At 32, I was one of the most decorated athletes in history…but last year, my focus expanded: I wanted to be a professional athlete and a mother. In some ways, that dream was crazy. I decided to start a family in 2018 knowing that pregnancy can be “the kiss of death” in my industry…Despite all my victories, Nike wanted to pay me 70 percent less than before…If I, one of Nike’s most widely marketed athletes, couldn’t secure these protections, who could?”RELATED: Serena Williams Revealed a Terrifying Issue with Her Baby – And Every Mom Needs to Hear ItFor context, the parental leave problem extends far beyond the universe of world athletic championships. Of the world’s richest countries, the US has repeatedly ranked worst, offering a grand total of zero weeks of national paid leave to new mothers.For those who don't think one woman’s voice can make a difference, it’s worth noting that following the publication of her piece, a broad public outcry and a congressional inquiry ensued, and Nike finally announced a new maternity policy for all sponsored athletes. The new contract guarantees an athlete’s pay and bonuses for 18 months around pregnancy. Three other athletic apparel companies then followed suit, also adding maternity protections for sponsored athletes. Challenges With PregnancyAllyson Felix managed to advocate for herself as well as moms everywhere—and athletic moms in particular—while coming down off a pregnancy that was anything but easy. In fact, her public advocacy was in part a response to Nike’s refusal to budge on maternity in spite of the difficulty of her pregnancy. After having undergone an emergency C-section at 32 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia that threatened the lives of both her and her baby, she nonetheless felt pressured to return to peak performance as quickly as possible after giving birth.RELATED: Serena Williams Proves You Don’t Have To Change Anything About Yourself To Find LoveNot only was Nike unwilling to reconsider drastically cutting her pay, but they were also unwilling to contractually guarantee that she wouldn’t be financially punished if her on-track performances dipped in the months before and after childbirth."In track and field, the culture around pregnancy was silence. Athletes would either hide pregnancies to secure new contracts, or their contracts were put on hold almost like they had an injury," she said. "I felt like I was being used in multiple marketing campaigns to tell women and girls that they could do anything when internally I was having such a hardship.”Allyson Felix and Sneaker Brand SayshNow that running is behind her, Felix is working on growing her sportswear startup. After becoming frustrated with Nike’s attitude towards pregnant athletes, she cut ties with the footwear brand. Rather than approaching another brand for sponsorship, Felix then opted to set up her own sportswear company with her brother Wes Felix. Together they founded Saysh, a footwear brand designed by and for women. RELATED: 105 Strong Women Quotes to Celebrate Feminine PowerAfter starting the company, she quickly found out that the challenges facing women in sports extend far beyond sponsorship troubles. For instance, she discovered that women’s running shoes are often made using a shoe mould based on a man’s foot, without taking into account the differences in foot shape.“I was appalled by that…I saw it as an incredible opportunity to not only make something for myself, but make something for all women,” said Felix, who ran in a bespoke pair of her own company’s shoes at the Tokyo Olympics. Saysh has since expanded beyond running shoes into the world of fashion. Not to mention, they recently raised $8m in series A funding. In 2021, Felix lived out a longtime fantasy while also repping women's empowerment at New York Fashion Week.Allyson Felix Works With Athleta and &MotherIn June 2022, Felix kicked off an initiative with her sponsor Athleta and the nonprofit group &Mother to provide free childcare to athletes, coaches and staff at the US Track and Field championships.Having founded the company in response to the inequality she faced as a female athlete, Felix wants her company to embody all those values she sought in a sponsor. In addition to offering free childcare at certain athletics events, Saysh also offers a free maternity returns policy for people whose feet change size during pregnancy. RELATED: Serena Williams: Never Lose HopeFelix, Athleta, and the Women's Sports Foundation have also opened a third round of child care grants, providing female athletes $10,000 for childcare expenses so they can train and compete.According to Felix, the burden of childcare costs is "the biggest barrier" to women continuing to compete at world championships and other high level events.Felix on Fighting the Good Fight“I think society tells us a lot of times you have a child, and your best moments are behind you,” says Felix. “But that's absolutely not the case. I'm a representation of that…There’s so many women across industries who are out here, who are doing it and getting it done. And I hope that when they watch and they see me, that they see that it's possible. And without a doubt, we're going to keep fighting.”RELATED: Developing Self-Discipline: A Comprehensive GuideInitially “terrified to speak out,” and unsure how it would be received, Felix sets a great motivational precedent for strong women everywhere. Self-discipline, when coupled with self-respect, is an ultra-potent combination capable of having positive ripple effects far beyond the self—and far beyond athletic world championships. KEEP READING:The Real Reason Serena Williams Quit Tennis Is a Bittersweet Lesson in Sacrifice

Mariah Carey's Parents: How the Pop Star's Neglected Childhood Shaped Her Life
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Mariah Carey's Parents: How the Pop Star's Neglected Childhood Shaped Her Life

Mariah Carey has been a phenomenal songstress since the early 1990s, when she took the world by storm with her unshakeable voice and astounding range. But while she has attracted extensive media attention over the years for her romantic relationships and, of course, her music, it's only recently that Mariah Carey opened up more about her parents.RELATED: At Her Lowest Point, Mariah Carey Turned Vulnerability Into StrengthLike many of us, no matter how much time has passed since childhood, Mariah, now 52 years old, continues to navigate her deeply challenging relationship with her parents. Who Are Mariah Carey’s Parents?Mariah was born in 1970 in Huntington, New York, the third and youngest child of parents Alfred Roy Carey and Patricia Hickey. Alfred was an aeronautical engineer of African-American and Afro-Venezuelan descent, and Patricia a former opera singer and vocal coach of Irish descent. Mariah's paternal grandfather actually changed his name from Nuñez to Carey, like many immigrants did to cope with the racism of the day.RELATED: Mariah Carey Reveals How She Found Herself After Escaping an Abusive RelationshipMariah Carey's parents met in 1960, a full decade before she was born, and fell in love, despite Patricia’s mother disowning her for the relationship. The couple faced the overt racism of the era -- they were even shot at through their kitchen window — but they nevertheless eloped. After they were married, they decided to live in an all-White neighborhood. However, Patricia had to purchase the house, because the White owners wouldn’t sell to a Black man. Concerned there were no other Black people around, they soon moved again, this time to a mixed neighborhood. However, there were new problems. “They didn’t like us because we were living as a Black and White couple, and that just wasn’t done,” Patricia recalled. Wherever the couple went, it seemed, people opposed their marriage.Mariah Carey's Sister and Brother Resented HerBut while the 1970s may have been more tolerant, even after Mariah was born, racial tensions remained high. Neighbors actually poisoned the family dog and set fire to their car. Although Mariah is comfortable today with her biracial background, the world hasn’t always shown her the same acceptance.Mariah Carey's parents divorced when she was only 3 years old. Her older sister, Alison, moved in with their father, while Mariah and her older brother, Morgan, stayed with their mother. She has recalled her siblings’ resentment toward her for having lighter skin and hair, and described her brother as “extremely violent” and her sister as “troubled” and “traumatized." Mariah has opened up about her difficult childhood, discussing how her siblings were abusive toward her. Mariah had little contact with her father after the split, and her mother worked several jobs to support the family.Behind Mariah's Toxic Relationship with Her MotherPatricia Carey in the music video for "O Come All Ye Faithful/Hallelujah Chorus"To describe Mariah Carey's relationship with her mother as strained is an understatement. She has credited her mother as the primary reason for her exposure to music at a young age. However, she also maintains there were things her mother said that have haunted throughout the years. RELATED: What Drew Barrymore's Post-Divorce Celibacy Teaches Us About Love“Jealousy comes with the territory when you are famous. But when it comes from your own mother, it is very painful," Mariah wrote in 2020 memoir, The Meaning of Mariah Carey. She goes on to recall how her mother once said, “You should only hope that you could be half the singer that I am.” Although Mariah wondered if her mother even remembers saying that, it impacted her just the same. (Patricia actually performs on Mariah's 2010 song "O Come All Ye Faithful/Hallelujah Chorus," and is featured prominently in the music video.)In addition to the jealous and competitive comments, Mariah has also opened up about how she felt neglected by her mother.“I’ll always take care of her,” she said. “There’s been a huge role reversal in our relationship since the beginning, since I first started [singing] I’ve been the go-to, that matriarch person, even as the youngest child in the family. Not everybody gets it. That’s a lot of pressure because also with that, with the expectations come resentment as well, or envy. It’s really a tough place to be.”Mariah's Complicated Relationship With Her Mom ContinuesMariah and Patricia, with Luciano Pavarotti (Photo: Instagram)Mariah admits she still craves a mom like those she used to see on television, one who will have “genuine, sustained interest” in her before asking for money or favors.To add insult to injury, Mariah's mom even cautioned her against marrying Nick Cannon (now father of her 9-year-old fraternal twins) because of his skin color. Clearly, trauma is inter-generational, and forgiving a parent for ongoing hurt can take a long time.RELATED: How Tom Hanks' Tragic Childhood Change Him - ForeverThe singer also revealed that, in 2001, amid pressures related to her impending movie, Glitter, she was physically and emotionally exhausted. She decided to spend some time recuperating at her mother’s Long Island home, which she had purchased. While there, she had an emotional breakdown while washing dishes. But rather than offering support, her mother called the police, who took her to a facility. “Bottom line is, there was a code-switching that happened and a power shift that was immediate,” Mariah explained. "It was immediate and she was in charge."Mariah's Father, Alfred, Passed Away in 2020This type of story will resonate with many of us who have parents stuck in traumatizing power-struggle patterns. It's not an easy thing to overcome.When it comes to Mariah’s relationship with her father, there’s not as much to say. She didn't see much of him as a child, and sadly, he passed away in 2002. Mariah does, however, feel positive enough about him to wish him happy Father’s Day on Instagram. “Rest in Power,” she wrote in June 2020. “Love and Sunflowers for Alfred Roy.”The Lessons Mariah Carey's Parents Taught HerMariah's late father, Alfred Carey (Photo: Instagram)The fact is, even those of us with the most traumatic parental relationships tend to find lessons buried in our trauma if we’re willing to dig a little.RELATED: Who Are Justin Bieber's Parents and What Did He Really Learn from Them?Of her relationship with her mother today, Mariah shares in her memoir: "I have reserved some room in my heart and life to hold her — but with boundaries. Creating boundaries with the woman who gave birth to me is not easy — it is a work in progress."In fact, the dedication of her books sums up the rocky past and still-challenging, but somehow worthwhile, present-day relationship very well: “And to Pat, my mother, who, through it all, I do believe actually did the best she could. I will love you the best I can, always.”Mariah's Lifelong Struggle with Her Biracial IdentityBut when it came to struggling with her biracial identity and belonging, neither of Mariah’s parents were ever equipped to help her navigate the complexity she faced. She was largely on her own.Mariah has discussed the lack of belonging she felt as a child that so many biracial people know all too well. When she first became famous, articles described her as a “White girl who can sing,” which really played into deep-seated insecurities. “My father identified as a Black man,” she said. “No one asked him because he was clearly Black. But people always ask me. If we were together, people would look at us in a really strange way. As a little girl, I had blonde hair and they’d look at me, look at him, and be disgusted. I understand people want to hold on to their roots. But for me, I was a complete nonentity because of it. Maybe that was part of my drive to succeed. I’ll become accepted.”How Mariah's Childhood Shapes Her MotherhoodPhoto: InstagramIn her memoir, Mariah writes, “Time and motherhood have finally given me the courage to honestly face who my mother has been to me.”RELATED: This Is The Real Reason Why You Never Hear About Justin Bieber’s DadGiven some of the unforgettable things her mother said to her when she was young, Mariah believes it’s important to be careful what one says, especially when talking to kids. The singer explained that, because she wants her own son and daughter, Monroe and Moroccan, to feel safe, secure and happy, she makes every effort to acknowledge their talents and encourage them, effectively breaking the cycle of damage and abuse her family has known all too well.Mariah hopes her own struggles with identity and racism will help her educate her kids on how to deal with similar issues. While times have changed since she was a kid, she points to social media, and all the modern ways someone can get attacked today.Mariah's Loving Relationship with Her ChildrenIn stark contrast to her own upbringing, Mariah’s relationship with her kids is the most loving relationship she’s ever known. “They help to heal me every day,” she said. “Every time we have a moment that feels real and authentic and genuine and it’s them loving me unconditionally.”While stereotypes of abused children turning into abusive parents run rampant, the children who grow up and break those vicious cycles tend to get a lot less press, but there’s plenty of us out there. The trick: even if your parents don’t teach you directly, you can learn eternal lessons from their behavior alone. KEEP READING: The Truth Behind Zoe Kravitz’ Relationship With Her Parents

Louis McKay: Who was Billie Holiday's Husband?
Celebrities

Louis McKay: Who was Billie Holiday's Husband?

In her brief but highly impactful time on this earth, renowned American jazz singer Billie Holiday (1915-1959) was an undeniable musical legend in spite of the trauma, racism, substance abuse, legal troubles, and violence that characterized her life. Her third and final husband, Louis McKay, was, unfortunately no different from the previous men in Billie’s life. But few people know much about who he was.As a child, Holiday was abused, and spent time in a Catholic children’s home before cleaning and running errands for a brothel. In 1928, she moved to Harlem with her mother, where they both ended up working in a brothel themselves. The years that followed were a nightmare of chronic rape, abuse, and subsequent imprisonment by the very police who should have protected her. When she was 14, she was charged with vagrancy and sent to a workhouse—when she got out, she, miraculously, began her career as an artist, singing in nightclubs around Harlem in uptown Manhattan. RELATED: Who Is Ariana Grande’s Husband, Dalton Gomez?She went on to produce 12 studio records, three live albums, and dozens of top singles, including haunting hits like “Strange Fruit,” and “God Bless the Child,” which was named one of the Songs of the Century by the National Endowment for the Arts.Sadly, Holiday’s struggles with her abusive husband Louis McKay would ultimately lead to her downfall. But who exactly was the man behind the scenes?How Billie Met Louis McKayLouis McKay and Billie Holiday met while she was touring Europe and working on her autobiography sometime in 1956. Some reports say he acted as her pimp, eventually graduating to being her “manager” and brutally violent husband. He would also steal most of her money.RELATED: Serena Williams’ Husband Alexis Ohanian Is Proof of Why You Should Never Settle For Less In LoveLouis McKay was not a musician, but he won Billie’s heart nonetheless—in spite of his bad reputation. According to NPR, McKay was a “wannabe gangster” and was, “by most accounts…a louse."Louis McKay And Billie Holiday Were Arrested Before They Got MarriedWhen Billie Holiday started her new romance with McKay, she “seemed happier than she had been in years.” But not long after meeting, the pair were arrested for possession of narcotics. This wasn’t Holiday’s first run-in with the law—in her autobiography, she describes her first arrest, in 1947, for drug possession, saying it felt like the world was against her. RELATED: Who is Tara Lynn Wilson? 5 Interesting Things to Know About Chris Noth’s WifeShe was charged with heroin possession at the time and received a one-year sentence. After leaving prison in 1948, she quit drugs, but it wasn’t long before the cycle of trauma and abuse caught up to her and she got back into the bad habit.Billie Holiday’s Marriage to Louis McKayIn 1957, after their arrests, Holiday and Louis McKay got married in Mexico. She had married several times before, always to abusive men with drug problems, but McKay was the last. He worked as a mob enforcer and was naturally abusive. Soon, McKay was also Holiday’s acting road manager. According to biography.com, “like many other men in her life, McKay used Holiday’s name and money to advance himself.” RELATED: Who Is Paul Rudd’s Wife: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Julie YaegerMcKay was so physically abusive that Holiday often had to "tape up her ribs" before going onstage after a brutal beating. Although she didn't report the abuse to the authorities out of fear of both Mckay and the police, once she found out he had lost her money in a risky property speculation, she finally left him.Once separated, Billie moved into an apartment in New York where she resided alone with her dog. When Holiday passed away in 1959, the two were estranged but still married, which would ultimately facilitate further theft of her funds even after her death.Louis McKay’s BetrayalIt’s hard to pick just one way in which Louis McKay betrayed Holiday. For starters, McKay admitted he was a part of the operation that had Holiday arrested in West Virginia in 1947, close to a decade before they met. RELATED: Ashley Underwood: Who Is Larry David’s Wife?Holiday was on the Federal Bureau of Narcotics (FBN) radar since at least 1939. To make matters worse, FBN commissioner Harry Anslinger was a widely known racist and made it his mission to take Holiday down for her drug and alcohol addiction. He relentlessly pursued her all the way up until her death in 1959. "She's been getting away with too much s***," McKay said about setting her up, adding, "I got enough to finish her off." Continuing, he said, "I'm going to do her up so godd*** bad she going to remember as long as she live.”Louis McKay Profited Off Of Billie Holiday Even After DeathWhile living alone with her dog, Billie Holiday’s drug and alcohol abuse increased, and in 1959, she was hospitalized. She died at the age of 44 of complications from cirrhosis of the liver.At the time of her death, Billie Holiday had $0.70 in her bank account and $750 strapped to her leg.RELATED: 5 Interesting Facts About Dave Chappelle’s Wife, ElaineHolliday died without a will, which meant, unfortunately, that because she was still legally married to McKay, under New York law, he would inherit her estate, including her royalties. It was estimated that at that time these royalty interests amounted to $15,000 to $20,000 annually. In 2014, Billy Holiday’s estate was valued at $14 million. In Tragedy, There Is Enduring Legacy It’s hard not to read Billie Holiday’s story and be overwhelmed by the tragedy of it all. But there is beauty in tragedy as well, and Billie’s life, mired in struggle and sorrow as it was, is an astounding example of the human capacity to overcome all odds. Born and raised as she was in great trauma which she would never fully escape, Billie Holiday still somehow managed to rock the world with her voice and create soulful, otherworldly music. RELATED: Why Joshua Jackson Had To Defend His Wife After She Proposed To Him FirstHoliday won four Grammy Awards, all of them posthumously, and was also inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame in 1976 as well as the National Rhythm & Blues Hall of Fame and the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. The latter have said that, “Billie Holiday changed jazz forever.”It’s difficult not to wonder what Louis McKay would think if he could see how highly regarded Billie's legacy is even today. One could summon countless inspired music quotes based on the way her art ultimately conquered all.Several films about Holiday’s life have been released, most recently The United States vs. Billie Holiday (2021).KEEP READING: Liam Neeson Reveals How He Has Been Coping With His Wife’s Death