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Woman Wakes Up to Husbands Dirty Dishes in the Sink - Instead of Cleaning Up, He Left Her a Note With 3 Words
Marriage

Woman Wakes Up to Husbands Dirty Dishes in the Sink - Instead of Cleaning Up, He Left Her a Note With 3 Words

Relationships can be tricky, especially when it comes to domestic labor. Trying to find a balance that is equitable and fair isn't always easy and typically, one partner ends up doing the lion's share of the work. Because after all, someone has to do it. And that someone usually ends up exhausted, overwhelmed, and with a heaping side of resentment. Susan Lehman, a hairstylist, wife, and mother of two teenage sons, shared a now-viral video on TikTok about her husband leaving a sink full of dirty dishes after having a few friends over to watch the Sugar Bowl. Understandably, she was less than thrilled. But what happened next? Is pure relationship goals. Woman Wakes Up to a Sink Full of Husband’s Dirty Dishes“My husband had people over for a big game last night,” Susan, 43, begins in the TikTok video.She then zooms in on the mess that was waiting for her when she came downstairs at the crack of dawn. "Look at all these freaking dishes in the sink."Susan Lehman via TikTokAnd as millions of viewers sit nodding their heads in solidarity and feeling their blood pressure rising — because who doesn't know how rage-inducing this can be? — Susan reveals a surprising plot twist. She pans over to a sticky note on the counter with 3 simple words, "I got it!" and an arrow pointing to the sink.It seems her husband, Matt, knew she would be annoyed by the dishes and would feel like she had to clean them herself so he decided to ward her off with a pre-emptive strike. It worked. (And gained him some serious brownie points).Upon seeing the note, Susan exclaims, "What a good guy!... I just love that he acknowledges that he left a mess in the sink and don’t worry, he’ll take responsibility for it.”She ends the clip smiling and saying, "Ah, we've come so far."Reaction to the Viral Video Susan isn't the only one loving how her husband tackled what could have turned into Dishgate. The short 24-second clip has amassed over 3.5 million views, 521,000 likes, and nearly 3500 comments.And while the majority of commenters love the outcome, praising the communication and writing things like, "The note changes everything! Amazing communication" and "I love this communication. He was too tired to do it after a fun 'party' but knew that if he didn't do it, you would've been annoyed :)" Others? Not so much. Reactions to the clip were mixed, with some people calling the note “the bare minimum” and noting that “the bar is on the floor” for men. Susan decided to address the controversy in an interview with Today and set the record straight.“After we got married, we definitely fell into these very cliche roles, where I did the cleaning and he did the man things, and for a long time, that arrangement worked," she says.“And then one day I was like, ‘You know what? Other people can help me in this house.'"Apparently, it's worked wonders.“Matt and I are high school sweethearts but it feels like a new relationship,” she says. “That bare minimum note was the max for me. Our communication is better than it’s ever been and I’m proud of how far we’ve come. Everybody — our sons included — pitches in now. I can't tell you how much our lives have changed."Marriage Is a PartnershipPitching in and taking responsibility for your own messes not only goes a long way in helping the household run more smoothly but it also has a significantly positive impact on your relationship too. As do effective communication and gratitude.And despite what the critics say, there’s nothing wrong with celebrating your partner for the small stuff. Because it's all that small stuff that adds up to the big stuff. At the end of the day, we all want to feel loved, valued, appreciated, and seen by our significant other. And sometimes? As this story proves, that can be as simple as three small words on a sticky note. More from Goalcast:Man Explains Why He Refuses to Help His Wife and 4 Kids Around the House – And Strangers Are Praising Him for ItMan Accuses Wife With Full Time Job of ‘Doing Nothing Around the House’ – So After Getting Revenge, She Leaves for VacationWoman Has a Dream About the Same Baby for Months – Fights to Adopt Her Husband’s Dead Ex-wife’s Son

How to Motivate Employees - Tips to Keep Your Team Motivated
Motivation

How to Motivate Employees - Tips to Keep Your Team Motivated

Whether you own a company or manage a team, keeping employees motivated is essential. Having motivated employees improves company culture and employee morale – not to mention, motivated employees are more likely to achieve company objectives.Motivated employees also tend to stay at a job for longer since they feel satisfied with their work lives and professional development. This is increasingly important now, as many companies see workers leave historically high rates as job opportunities grow thanks to remote working. In September 2021 alone, an estimated 4.4 million people quit their jobs, as reported by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. This article will explore why employees lose their motivation, as well as the science behind effective methods that keep motivation high.Motivated employees: Why does motivation start decreasing? In order to know the best way to motivate employees, it's essential to understand common reasons why employee engagement starts to take a dip. Here are a few signs that your employees are losing motivation.1. They don't feel their work provides value. Say your boss asks you to complete a daily task. Maybe it's reporting on specific metrics or updating a particular spreadsheet. This task starts to take a large chunk out of your workday – but each time you send the report to your boss, you don't receive any type of response. You start to feel as if this task doesn't actually matter to the overall success of your team or the company. It also doesn't align with the job you were hired to do – and is taking you away from the work you enjoy doing for the company. Employees will inevitably have to take on at least some portion of tasks that they don't enjoy doing in any role – but ensuring that the workload of your staff members primarily consists of functions that they feel value in doing helps keep them motivated for longer.2. They express uncontrolled emotions. Suppose an employee who typically has a calm demeanor starts to lash out in response to being asked to complete a task, in response to feedback, or during any other work situation. This can be a sign that they're experiencing frustration and stagnancy in their role. If this behavior persists, it may be time to have a discussion with your employee about the work they're doing and what can be changed to keep them motivated. 3. They don't feel capable. In any role, there comes a time where your manager will ask you to take on something new. While this can be exciting for certain employees, employees that are losing motivation may feel that they're not capable of taking on something new and may be concerned that they won't do a good job. 4. They don't have an effective leader. If an employee doesn't have a manager that they feel motivated to work hard for or one that they feel they can come to when issues inevitably arise, it can take a toll on an employee's motivation. While having a manager who can encourage employee participation and increase employee engagement is not the only factor for maintaining high motivation, it is crucial. 5. They don't see a future with the company. If there's no clear path for upward mobility in their department or within the company, employee motivation will deplete fairly quickly. In an ideal scenario, managers would be able to offer monetary incentives through raises and promotions often and with ease – but the reality is that many companies don't provide these types of incentives as quickly as they should. If this is the case, keeping your team motivated by carving out a career trajectory within the company before they start to show signs that their losing motivation will help keep them engaged – even when a promotion may be a year or two down the line,6. They start to make careless errors. Mistakes happen, and even the best employees can slip up on occasion. But when this behavior becomes consistent, it may be a sign that your employee is losing motivation to complete their tasks correctly. If you continue to see this pattern, set some time aside with your employee to see what the issue is and how you can help keep them motivated to continue to do the type of work you know they are capable of. How to motivate employeesFinding capable talent is only half the battle. If companies want to retain employees, they need to consider what employees value most in the workplace and continue to make these motivating factors a key priority. Here are a few ways to improve the overall happiness of employees, increase employee engagement and motivate the team to do their best work continually. 1. Make the workplace a great place to beWhether your employees are working remotely, in the office full time or a mix of both in-office and remote work, making work a place that feels exciting and pleasant to be will keep spirits high. If your workers are in the office, consider what optimizations could be made to the working space to make it a more engaging one. According to one study, adding plants and greenery to an office can improve workplace productivity by up to 15%. (Getty)If your team is working remotely, consider asking for an at home office stipend for your workers. This allows them to upgrade their work from home space, which will help keep them motivated and make them feel valued. 2. Offer employee incentivesWhen your company wins, your employees should reap those benefits, too. Consider offering an incentive program that kicks back monetary benefits into their paycheck quarterly when the company meets or exceeds its goals. Or provide additional stock options or profit-sharing within the company to express gratitude and reward employees. Putting aside some money for a company retreat is another option, and could be one of the ways to motivate employees while reinforcing the company’s mission. 3. Provide positive feedbackA great motivational factor is making the team feel that their work is valued. Pay attention to the small wins of the week that the employees on your team make and give praise when it's due. Depending on the type of company, this can be a successful interaction with a customer, a problem that was solved by an employee or even a team member who took the initiative to help others; making employees feel valued will go a long way.4. Strive to be a supportive managerAt most companies, upward mobility means that suddenly you're thrust into managing a team. Often, new managers aren't given the training or tools necessary to know how to lead a team and help employees grow and succeed – they're just promoted because they're good at the work they do. So whether you're promoting someone into a management role, are new to being a manager yourself or have managed a team for a while and want to ensure you're keeping your direct reports motivated, it's worth getting up to speed on what makes a great manager. Take the time to explore manager books and resources that outline best practices and tactics to employ to conduct yourself as someone that employees are motivated to work for. 5. Provide opportunities for growthDoing the same job with the same task list and workload day in and day out can quickly start to make employees develop feelings of stagnation. While money is a significant motivating factor for employees, managers sometimes overlook the small ways they can provide opportunities for growth within the employee's current role. This can act as a way to prepare employees for the next step, give them something to work towards and keep employees motivated. Speak to your employee about what they're interested in doing more of within the role, and work to identify ways they can start tackling tasks that will prepare them for growth within the organization. Be sure to take the time to recognize the ways they've shown growth within their role to ensure your team feels valued. 6. Offer flexibilityThe more that remote work and technology have innovated the traditional desk job, the more employees crave flexibility within their work schedules. Gone are the days of having to be in an office to check your email or communicate with team members – this can be done out of pocket when necessary. Be sensitive to your employee's individual needs where scheduling is concerned and do your best to provide them with the room they need to support their ideal work life balance. For example, if you have an employee who would like to attend their child's event one afternoon, granting this flexibility will motivate the employee to complete the work needed before and after the event to ensure this same courtesy is available in the future. 7. Give employees recognitionProviding employees with positive, one on one reinforcement is an effective way to keep motivation high. But recognizing their achievements in a more visible way throughout the company can also go a long way in keeping employees motivated to work harder. Identify opportunities to showcase your employees across your organization. Is there a weekly newsletter where you can highlight their work? Or share a story of a situation they handled incredibly well? Giving credit where credit is due is an easy and effective way to motivate the people on your team. 8. Communicate with your employeesThis may seem obvious but getting clear on what your employee values most -- both in their current role as well as future goals – can provide insight into the most effective method to motivate your employee. Don't try to guess what will make your team members feel motivated or use a one size fits all approach for motivation. Tailoring your efforts to your employee’s individual needs will help keep them motivated and make employees feel valued. 9. Provide transparencyBeing as transparent as possible with employees when it comes to company goals, how the team is currently pacing and what objectives need to be prioritized makes employees feel like part of the team and can boost team morale and camaraderie. Don't just share the company's wins but get comfortable discussing the challenges the business is currently facing. You may find that your employees are motivated to explore different ways to solve these challenges.10. Introduce friendly competitionWhether it's motivating employees toward a specific sales goal, increasing positive customer service feedback or an incentive to complete certain training modules in an efficient manner of time, gamifying your team's work experience can be a big motivator. This can be done through recognition via certain certificates, an employee of the month reward or even gift cards that apply to your employee's interests. Valuing your employee's performance in a tangible way like this can be an impactful motivator – and a great way to express gratitude. 11. Allow your employees to have the autonomy they needThough you may be doing so with the best of intentions, constantly checking up on your employee's work and performance throughout the day can actually backfire when it comes to motivating employees. In fact, research has found that employees who have more autonomy in the workplace are also more satisfied with their jobs. If you want to retain visibility into your employee's work and workload but want to give them the freedom to thrive on their own, implementing a program management tool that allows teams to see the work being done without having to constantly check in can be a great place to start.12. Show respect to your employeesThis may also sound like an obvious way to keep spirits high, but in a management role, it can be easy to lose sight of how your direct reports can also teach and inform you on insights and workflow issues you have not been privy to since you're further removed from the process. If an employee comes to you with a problem or vice versa, approach the conversation with respect and curiosity. Learning from your employees doesn't make you a bad manager or business owner. In fact, quite the opposite – it improves your business and your company's bottom line. Showing respect in this manner will motivate employees to come to you proactively with issues and solutions and keep the line of communication open between you both. 13. Evaluate your performance review processIs your performance review process actually motivating your employees to do their best? Or is annual review time something that they dread? Furthermore, is your review process an effective tool to really show the work your employee has done over the past year? Or has this become a formality? In order to ensure that your performance review model is motivating employees, speak with them about how they feel the current process can be improved. Consider adopting a performance review process that occurs more frequently, keeping employees motivated toward quarterly conversations rather than waiting until the end of the year to pack everything in.14. Set small, weekly goalsCompanies and teams are constantly working toward significant goals, whether quarterly sales goals or year-over-year growth. Which can make the weeks and months leading up to the overall fruits of your labor start to feel far away. To motivate your team to continue putting their best in each week, consider implementing weekly goals that are more easily achievable and frequent. For example, give employees an afternoon off if you've received a high amount of positive customer service feedback that week, or buy the team lunch if they've managed to close a certain amount of weekly business to help keep employees motivated. 15. Be approachableIf your employees are under the impression that they can't come to you with an issue or suggestion, they likely won't. To make team members feel like they're able to be heard, consider an "open door" policy, whether that be in your physical office or virtually, where having your door open signifies that employees may approach you with questions, suggestions or feedback. When employees know that they are being heard, they feel motivated. 16. Show your employees how their work contributes to the bigger pictureEven if your team is constantly hitting their goals, sometimes connecting the dots for employees to show how their individual efforts contribute to the company's overall goals and bottom line can help employees understand the significance of their effort. (Getty)Next time you get wind of news about the company's success, don't be afraid to take the time to show your employees how their work ladders up to this tremendous recent achievement. This can be a powerful way to motivate and encourage employees to continue to work harder.17. Stay motivated as a manager for your team membersIf you're not staying motivated as a manager, your employees will sense it. Take the time to understand what it is that motivates you – both intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. Share things that keep you motivated throughout your workday and workweek -- whether it was feedback from your own boss or higher-ups who provided you with words of encouragement or seeing the team hit a goal they'd worked hard to achieve. SummaryKeeping employees motivated is essential to the success of any company or business. When employees know they are valued, employee performance, employee morale and team spirit are boosted. As a manager or business owner, it's in your best interest to motivate your team to retain and grow the talent you have. Provide positive feedback, express gratitude, discuss growth opportunities and employ clear communication with members of your team. You're sure to see a difference in how your employees work harder and continue to stay motivated.

Nonverbal Communication: Meaning and Examples
Success

Nonverbal Communication: Meaning and Examples

Language is believed to have evolved around the same time as Homo sapiens, between 50,000 and 150,000 years ago. There are many theories about the origin of language, and why the quantum leap to speech occurred. Noam Chomsky, the “father of linguistics,” believes that language evolved suddenly, in “perfect” form, rather than developing over a period of time.The evolution of language remains a mystery, and has been referred to as the “hardest problem of science.” In Sapiens, Yuval Noah Harari argues that humans underwent a cognitive revolution which uplevelled the way we could communicate. Unlike other species, humans have developed the ability to communicate ideas, and talk about things that don’t exist. Language allows for storytelling, myth, and co-operation. It’s the foundation of co-operation and civilisation.Language is the exchange of information, to create understanding. It’s an intricate form of communication, only used by humans. Considering its impact, and how heavily modern living relies on the written and spoken word for communication, it’s surprising that the majority of communication isn’t based in language at all, but is what is known as nonverbal communication.It goes without saying (pun intended) that learning about nonverbal signals, nonverbal messages and nonverbal behavior and communication is essential to improve your overall communication skills. This article will provide an overview of nonverbal communication along with examples of nonverbal and verbal messages. So whether you’re looking to impress in a professional setting, or exude confidence on a first date, this article is for you, and will certainly help boost your nonverbal communication skills.What is nonverbal communication?Nonverbal communication is any form of communication that doesn’t use the spoken word. It’s commonly associated with body language, although nonverbal communication also includes the way in which verbal communication is used, such as tone of voice, rhythm of speaking, or pitch. In any interaction, there are a wide range of cues that send information to whoever we’re communicating with, beyond what words we choose.(Klaus Vedfelt / Getty)Unlike most of the spoken word, which is usually consciously thought of, aside from an occasional Freudian slip or outburst, nonverbal communication is instinctual. That makes it more difficult to hide; consequently, body language tends to be more truthful about a person’s authentic state than words alone. Joe Navarro is a former FBI agent and one of the world’s leading body language experts. He refined his understanding of nonverbal communication while working in counter-terrorism and counterintelligence, and now teachers others the intricacies of body language. In his blog, he writes about the honesty of body language: “Quick, authentic, and reliable: body language, as I said in What Every Body is Saying, is the ‘shortcut to communicating what is most important’ because it has been evolutionarily beneficial. And it is not just about survival or threats, although that is the primary reason we react to certain things so visibly (loud sounds make us freeze or cower in place). Our brain also telegraphs our intentions… Which is why we say when it comes to communication, body language is more truthful than the spoken word.”Nonverbal communication works both ways; not only do we give away our true intentions (think facial expression) with our body language, but we pick up on these signals in others, and tend to notice when someone’s speech doesn’t match their nonverbal cues. This can be unsettling, and we might just sense something is off. Understanding non verbal communication can clue you into hidden information, even if you don’t quite know what that is.Types of nonverbal cues and communicationTo give some perspective to just how complex nonverbal communications are, our faces contain 43 different muscles that are able to make over 10,000 combinations and dozens of facial expressions. Factor in nonverbal elements like eye contact, posture, gestures, and movements throughout the body, and it becomes clear how much is communicated before a single word is spoken.Although we tend to understand a lot of nonverbal cues instinctively, it helps to have examples of different forms of nonverbal communication to refine our understanding. The complex network of nonverbal communication is generally categorized into the below areas.Facial expressionsAs noted above, our faces are able to convey huge amounts of information that don’t require a verbal message to be understood. Obvious facial expressions include frowning to indicate sadness or smiling to show happiness. Interestingly, while there are a great deal of cultural differences between societies from around the globe, facial expressions tend to be universal. (Robert Recker / Getty)The idiom written all over someone’s face captures how the face can clearly depict how someone is feeling, and how certain types of nonverbal communication is hard-wired into our brains.GesturesFrom shaking of the head to rolling of the eyes, we rely on gestures daily, often without thinking. Roman Emperors sealed the fate of gladiators with a nonverbal cue (a simple thumbs up or a thumbs down). Gestures and body movements can warn others, call for help, or reassure others everything is okay — all at a distance. Unlike facial expressions, not all gestures are universal, with different meanings in different cultures. Eye contact As the saying goes, the eyes are the gateway to the soul. Eye contact plays a big part in nonverbal communication. Avoiding eye contact sends messages of shame, guilt, or low confidence. Healthy, maintained eye contact, on the other hand, implies confidence or attraction. As Navarro writes, “The eyes serve as conduits of information we have relied on for thousands of years. We rely on them because of their accuracy.”Body language and postureYou don’t need to be an expert at active listening to know that when people are confident, they tend to be more expressive with the body. Arms crossed might be translated as disinterest, guardedness, or anger. Open body language, which is relaxed and accommodating, tends to make a good impression, and common metaphors reflect this — think of the difference between giving someone the cold shoulder, or welcoming them with open arms.Personal spaceAlso called proxemics, the distance in which someone stands next to someone is a significant part of nonverbal communication. Have you ever felt threatened or uncomfortable when a stranger stands too close? Conversely, if you’re in love with someone, you will likely want to get as close to them as you can. Anthropologist Edward T. Hall noted four different “zones” where humans feel comfortable sharing space with others:Public Zone: 12 to 25 feet. In public spaces, such as events or large gatherings.Social Zone: 4 to 12 feet. For acquaintances.Personal Zone: 1.5 to 4 feet. For close friends or family.Intimate Zone: Skin to 18 inches. The distance for physical touch, embracing, whispering, etc.“We evolved to react to spatial violations for the purposes of survival,” Navarro writes. “And we have to be sensitive to spatial needs — our own and those of others.” Notice how, when going through relationship difficulties, people tend to say that they “need space?”TouchPhysical touch is a significant part of bonding with others, as well as a way to show affection and care. The social lockdowns of the corona pandemic highlighted the importance of this form of nonverbal communication for mental and physical health. Loneliness, in particular, can be sparked by a lack of touch.VoiceParalinguistics is the scientific term given to forms of vocal communication that are separate from language. This includes the speed, volume, and intensity of speech. Essentially, the “tone of voice” that someone uses conveys as much as, if not more, than specific words. Paralinguistics include sighs, gasps, and moans, or noises such as “mhm” or “hmm”.Why is nonverbal communication and nonverbal behaviors important?One of the most well-cited studies into nonverbal communication was conducted at UCLA by research psychologist Albert Mehrabian and his colleagues in 1967. The results were remarkable — according to the study, communication is based upon 7 percent verbal, 38 percent vocal, and 55 percent facial. That means that 93 percent of communication is nonverbal! Although Meharabian’s findings have been disputed, experts tend to agree that nonverbal communication accounts for between 70 percent and 90 percent of communication.Another key finding of Mehrabian’s research was that people tend to trust what aspect of communication they believe to be true. For example, if they feel that someone’s body language is conveying true meaning, and not their words, they’re more likely to dismiss the spoken message.This aligns with humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers’ theory of congruence. Rogers identified congruence as a form of authenticity, where someone remains true to themselves and doesn’t hide behind a facade or mask. For Rogers, being congruent is an essential part of effective therapy, because incongruence from the therapist would be detected in the client.Without congruence, people have to resort to mind-reading to understand the person’s true intentions, which is far from an ideal way of communicating, as it leads to assumptions and speculation. Although congruence is an ideal way of communicating, without self-awareness, true emotions may remain unconscious, leading to incongruent behavior. One example would be someone who is visibly angry, but says they’re okay when questioned.Smooth communication requires a mixture of verbal and nonverbal communication. A lack of consistency between feelings, body language, facial expressions, and what is verbally communicated can cause mistrust and a breakdown of communication — even if the person receiving the communication isn’t consciously aware of the reasons why. Because of this, Rogers noted that congruence is on a continuum, it isn’t all-or-nothing.The benefit of nonverbal communication in relationshipsBringing this all together, it becomes apparent the value of nonverbal communication applies to all types of relationships — from professional to friendships, to romantic connections. Although nonverbal communication is largely instinctive, that doesn’t mean you can’t improve your body language, or be more purposeful with your tone of voice. It starts with self-awareness. Learn the different patterns or nonverbal cues you tend to use. Do you make healthy eye contact? Are you conscious of people’s personal space when you talk to them? Do you pay attention to your tone of voice, and how you deliver what it is you wish to say?You don’t want to become robotic by learning about positive body language and rigidly applying rules. Human interactions are vibrant and varied, and most of the time, being authentic and engaged with whoever you're interacting with will have an impact on the nonverbal cues you send. However, the below pointers are a good starting point:Be aware of your posture: Try to avoid slouching, keep your chest raised and shoulders back. Keep your arms relaxed and by your side.Understanding mirroring: When two people build rapport, they tend to mirror each other’s body language. It’s a way of telling if someone is interested in you, and a way to show you’re engaged with others.Smile: Studies have demonstrated that trustworthiness is strongly linked to people who smile. You don’t have to have a giant grin every waking hour, but a gentle, warm smile goes a long way.Practice your speech: This doesn’t just apply to presentations, but all interactions. When nervous it’s tempting to rush through what you have to say, but people tend to favor calm and clear speech. Don’t forget to take breaths and pause when relevant.Every relationship is unique. Your body language and nonverbal communication will differ in a professional setting than around close friends and family. In romantic relationships, physical touch and nonverbal communication is a big part of cultivating intimacy and closeness. (Witthaya Prasongsin / Getty)You might have to develop your own unique language with your partner, by understanding their needs and what works for both of you.In conclusionWe live at an age where more and more communication is done through technology and the spoken or written word. You can’t high-five on Zoom or hug on Facebook, yet we’re social beings that have evolved to understand nonverbal cues. It’s an instinctive and deeply ingrained part of human interaction.Whether we realize it or not, in every interaction we’re responding to nonverbal cues, from how comfortable we feel in someone’s presence, to how much we trust someone or believe what they say. So why not step back, and take time to refine your nonverbal communication? The results will pay off, one interaction at a time.

Communication Skills: Why They’re Important
Mindset

Communication Skills: Why They’re Important

How much of your daily time is spent communicating with someone, in some form or another? While the landscapes of our lives have changed since the 1960s, psychological studies conducted during that period indicate that most people spend between 50-80% of their waking hours communicating with others. No wonder good communication skills are important! With the advent of increasingly complex technology, we now have constant access to a multitude of communication methods, ranging from a typical phone call with some other person to illustrative memes passed from colleague to colleague through Slack. And, since there are smartphones in the hands of 3.5 billion people around the world - nearly half the world’s population - we are rarely ever “out of pocket” or unreachable. Given the immense role that social connection plays in our daily lives, developing the ability to communicate effectively is an extremely worthwhile endeavor, and one that can help you realize goals in your personal and professional life. Why are good communication skills so important?Communication is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as “the transmission or exchange of information, knowledge, or ideas by means of speech, writing, mechanical or electrical media.” Put simply, communication is how we interact with, and relate to, other people, and this include nonverbal communication.To uncover communication’s importance, we need to look at its evolution - how and why it developed in humans, rather than in other animal species. Michael Tomasello, a prolific and widely lauded developmental and comparative psychologist, attributes the evolution of advanced communication in humans to the unique nature of our species: “…the most fundamental aspects of human communication are seen as biological adaptations for cooperation and social interaction in general…The ability to create common conceptual ground - joint attention, shared experience, common cultural knowledge — is an absolutely critical dimension of all human communication.” (Thomasello 2008)In short, our tendency to create social groups within which individuals rely upon one another generated a need for strong communication skills - a way of passing around information. Tomasello specifically posits that human communication began with simple gestures like pointing, developed further by incorporating sounds and visual representations (think cave paintings), and finally blossomed into speech and complex language. Although an entire field of study called Evolutionary Anthropology is devoted to these and similar topics, the takeaway here is that communication skills, initially developed because they increased the human species’ odds of survival, are still critically important in our day-to-day lives. While we may not be signaling the presence of a predator to others in our social circle, we rely on communication to deepen relationships with family and friends, and to find success in our professional lives. What exactly are communication skills?It’s likely you’ve sat through a meeting where the presenter’s monotonous voice or their convoluted explanations nearly sent you to sleep. That speaker’s poor communication skills affected you, their audience; speaking clearly, concisely, and with an engaging manner are all skills that can be learned. As the above example demonstrates, communication skills are not simply about speaking a language fluently or writing well - they’re abilities that enable you to be an effective communicator by ensuring that your audience understands the information you’re trying to convey.While there’s an immense diversity of communication forms around the world - nearly 7,000 languages were documented globally in 2009 (Ethnologue) - methods of communication are typically sorted into three main types: verbal, non-verbal, and written. We’ll use these categories to discuss specific communication skills and how to improve them below.Verbal communication (Luis Alvarez / Getty)Typically when you hear “communication,” your first thought is speech. Verbal communication is just that - spoken language used to convey information and meaning during interactions. As noted above, there are thousands of distinct languages distributed across the globe, with many people learning and using more than one during their lifetimes, or even daily. For much of our species’ history, verbal communication was limited to face-to-face interactions within a tightly-knit social group. As electricity and subsequent technologies dependent upon it were invented, verbal communication expanded widely beyond direct physical interaction. Today, verbal communication can refer to the following:Face-to-face communication: when you’re able to see your conversational partner. Face-to-face communication can occur either in close physical proximity to others or, as is increasingly common, via video conferencing software like Zoom or FaceTime.Vocal communication: information transferred verbally through a medium. While video conferencing has become more ubiquitous, we still frequently rely on solely vocal methods of communication like phone calls or recorded voice messages. Non-verbal communicationWhen we speak with someone, we’re not simply listening to words in a vacuum - we’re also picking up on non-verbal cues from one another that provide context, giving the words themselves intention and depth. Types of non-verbal communication include:Body language: Any movement or gesture exhibited by an individual’s body in the midst of communication. Your posture, demeanor, and hand gestures send signals about your level of confidence, your interest in the discussion, or your feelings about your conversational partners. Confident body language is important!For instance, as an audience member at a conference, movements like slouching, crossing your arms, or resting your head in your hand can indicate that you’re not invested in the presentation. In contrast, sitting up straight, nodding at appropriate moments, and taking notes demonstrates a willingness to engage with the subject matter. Facial expressions: How an individual’s face moves and what social or cultural cues the resulting expressions signal to others. As a species, our faces are uniquely expressive, and are an essential component of face-to-face communication. We demonstrate internal emotions very clearly through facial gestures like eyebrow raises or frowns, allowing others to sense how we’re feeling without requiring vocalization.Eye-contact: Looking your conversational partner in the eyes while you communicate. Meeting the gaze of someone during conversation does not mean a visual stand-off; rather, when you gently maintain eye contact, it demonstrates an interest in the discussion and shows respect* for your conversational partner. (*Eye-contact can be complex if you’re neuro-divergent and experience ADHD or autism; in these cases, a lack of eye-contact does not indicate a lack of respect. If you have one of these conditions and are interested in increasing your ability to make eye contact, try working with a behavioral therapist.)Written communicationWritten communication is self-explanatory: it’s any exchange of information written by hand, typed or transcribed. While today we’re used to instantaneous digital communication, this form of conversing has only existed for a comparatively short period of human history: our species evolved 200,000 years ago, whereas electronic communication was only introduced in the mid-1800s with the telegram. This highlights how rapidly human communication can evolve, and today some linguistic studies center around specific conventions that set things like tweets apart from other types of writing.This is to say that regardless of how a written message is delivered, writing itself is complex, and it can require a significant amount of knowledge and skill to be used effectively. As such, in our improvement section, we’ll cover broad approaches to improving your writing skills in your professional life. How to become an effective communicatorDo you want to develop truly excellent communication skills? We’ll address actionable steps for improvement shortly, but first, let’s revisit the subject we addressed in the introduction - if your communication skills have seemed just fine, thanks up until now, what’s the point of examining yourself under a microscope? Here are some benefits of putting in the hard work to become a good communicator: Improve confidence: Communication is the thread that ties society together. Being able to convey your ideas and opinions effectively allows you to express and be recognized for other innate skills, like compassion, tenacity or humor. (Getty)Effective communication skills also enhance your ability to advocate for your wants and needs, which can help you move towards self-actualization. Deepen and strengthen relationships: Communicating isn’t just about talking to or at people - it involves developing listening skills and emotional intelligence. Improving your ability to listen and fully comprehend gives you the opportunity to relate to others more closely, and to better understand differing perspectives. While small talk can be tiresome, deeper, honest discussions strengthen bonds, and require some of the soft skills you’ll see in truly great communicators. You can often learn much about yourself when speaking to someone else - just clarify boundaries ahead of time!Enhance leadership skills: A good leader must be an effective communicator, otherwise their team’s morale and productivity will suffer. Someone who can explain the how and why of a project, then break down and communicate tasks directly will be much more successful than someone who cannot. A good leader should also be able to relate to their colleagues - don’t underestimate the value of team relationships based on mutual respect and trust. Achieve goals: This may be the most obvious reason to improve your communication skills: if you have big dreams or even small milestones you’d like to reach, being an articulate, effective communicator will keep you on track from start to finish. Becoming a good self-advocate and a confident speaker will help you network, and by strengthening relationships you’ll gain a better support system to rely on when the going gets tough. Improving verbal communication skillsPractice “active listening”: The first and most important step for better verbal communication is becoming a more effective listener. Yes, really! This means making an effort to ensure you truly comprehend the material by being an active listener. Try strategies like taking notes, paraphrasing information immediately afterwards, and ensuring that you’re not listening simply to reply - let others talk at their own pace and become comfortable with natural silences (every second doesn’t need to be filled with chatter!). The more you listen to others, the better you’ll become at analyzing communication styles, and at identifying techniques you want to adopt.Practice speaking: Yes, actually practice in person, or via phone or video chat with someone you trust, like family, friends, or a mentor. Use recording apps to practice by yourself. Pay attention to your flow of ideas, your typical speaking tone, and evaluate whether your audience (if practicing with others) understands the material. Ask for feedback: Again, feedback is crucial, particularly in the workplace. Being open to constructive criticism develops skills in previously weak areas. Colleagues, mentors, and even supervisors may be open to sharing nuances they’ve noticed when you speak (e.g. the dreaded “…uhm”), and can give you pointers. Improving non-verbal communication skillsImprove posture and breathing: Although analyzing your own body language can be awkward,many communication skills depend on these nonverbal cues. Pay attention to how you stand, sit, breathe and gesture during the communication process. Avoiding slouching and learning to regulate the speed of your speech and breathing can go a long way to improving confidence. The importance of communication skills can go a long way, whether in the form of business communication, presentation skills, or within personal relationships. Practice speaking: (Edwin Tan / Getty)The importance of practice can’t be understated. Practice with friends or family, or by yourself in a mirror. Take note of how you move when you speak, where you hold tension in your body, and any facial expressions or eye-contact you make. Because emotions can slip through our mind-body filter, it’s important to understand how communicative your face can be, and whether or not your expressions are conveying what you intend.Ask for feedback: If you’re comfortable doing so, asking for body language feedback can be invaluable. We don’t always notice when our expression or posture slips or when we fidget, and having a colleague or a mentor gently remind you can be invaluable, especially when practicing for a presentation. Improving written communication skillsEnsure clarity: Although writing varies depending upon subject and audience, always be as clear as possible. When writing poetry or crafting a novel there’s room for interpretation, but typical writing shouldn’t require a search for hidden meaning. This is especially true when relaying instructions, communicating at work, or teaching.Check tone: While verbal communication provides context clues like tone of voice, writing can easily be misinterpreted. For example, texting follows a different set of punctuation rules depending on your generation - a period which is commonplace in a novel may seem harsh in a casual text. Things like humor, particularly sarcasm, don’t always translate well. Be very clear about what tone and message your writing may be conveying, depending upon your subject and audience. Find your “voice”: The more you write, the more likely you are to develop a style and pattern known as your “writing voice.” While this is particularly true in creative writing and journalism, it also applies to typical writing between friends or colleagues. Not everyone is going to communicate with the skill of Bob Dylan or Tupac Shakur, but everyone's got room to grow to be great in their own way!Do you crack jokes often, or sign off with emojis rather than punctuation? When appropriate, use those traits to ensure your writing sounds like you. Ask for help and feedback: Assistance and feedback go hand-in-hand with writing. If grammar or specific writing structures aren’t your strong suits, ask someone to proofread drafts. And if you weren’t able to ask for copyediting help, ask for feedback on finished writing, and take notes for next time. Read more, more often: (Oscar Wong / Getty)Yes, read to improve your writing. The more often you read, the more likely you are to recognize styles, language conventions, and vocabulary. If you’re entering a specific field of work, immerse yourself in the literature (from blogs to professional journals) that goes along with it. Communication skills for career successSo, how do you demonstrate effective communication in your professional life? Even if you already feel confident in your skills, there’s almost always room for improvement. Essential communication skills for your resumeIn the current job market, the application process is quite competitive. Stand out by making a positive first impression with your resume; it’s an opportunity to highlight your top communication skills, and provides a foundation that can be expanded upon in cover letters or interviews. Here are a few key skills you can include, and remember to express them in engaging ways that relate to your past work. Try to avoid a static list, as action words are more evocative.Active listenerClear and concise communicatorResponsive and timely team memberExemplifies respect and empathyConsistently diplomatic Well-versed in mediation and negotiationSkilled at [your business field] communications *Always tailor skills to your field, e.g. “skilled at delivering financial reports to stakeholders.” Here’s how to be an excellent communicator as an employee: Ask for clarification: This ensures that expectations for your performance are clear, and paves the way for you to meet or exceed them. Paraphrase to demonstrate understanding: If a supervisor has explained something, particularly a complex topic or multiple tasks, taking a moment to think it through and then repeating a (simplified) version shows that you’ve internalized the information and can act on it. Convey information concisely: Some people love to talk! This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and in certain professions (like teaching) this is a desirable quality. However, tangents and convoluted descriptions make it hard for others to understand and absorb information. So, keep it short, sweet, and salient - ensure everything you share is relevant and actionable. Request feedback: The ability to receive constructive criticism without becoming defensive is truly useful, as it allows you to recognize and remedy areas of improvement, which helps you grow not only as an employee, but as a person. If you ask for feedback from colleagues and supervisors, they know you’re open to improvement from the get-go, and can tailor suggestions to areas you specify. (However, coworkers and managers should not be tearing you down - constructive criticism must be actionable, and shouldn’t be mean-spirited or directed at who you are as a person.)Provide feedback: While not all employers will give you this opportunity, healthier environments are fostered when feedback is encouraged both ways. Keep the above points in mind - feedback should be actionable, and unless there have been serious issues with a mean-spirited or woefully ineffective manager, you should not be trying to needlessly criticize them. Here’s how to be an excellent communicator as a supervisor or employer:Demonstrate respect and empathy: Ensuring your team members feel seen and respected is key to a positive work environment. When subordinates feel like exactly that, “subordinate,” they’re less inclined to go above and beyond, and rightfully so. When contributions are respected, and when you demonstrate empathy for your colleagues and their personal situations, it shows you value them as humans and not simply as workers.Provide constructive feedback: As mentioned above, viewing your employees as the complex individuals they are is essential to positive workplace morale. Providing constructive, actionable suggestions can improve their productivity and the quality of their work, but also increases their confidence and helps them grow as individuals. Invite feedback: While employees are typically the ones receiving performance notes, inviting feedback on the supervisory level can boost your organization’s morale and productivity. Respecting employee input demonstrates that you’re all “in this together” and that you’re continually looking to improve the working environment. Provide clear instructions: Although this seems like a no-brainer, it’s sometimes difficult to know how your instructions are interpreted. Check with employees to ensure that tasks are clear and concise, and that there’s little room for misunderstanding. This small checkpoint can work wonders on employee confidence and productivity.In conclusionAlthough the process of communication skill-improvement can be daunting, this work will reward you ten-fold. Numerous studies indicate that better communication can brighten your outlook on your career and help you find fulfillment in your life out of the workplace. If you struggle with specific skills, remember that communication is all about connecting to others, and that asking for help is just part of the growth process. While growth may be uncomfortable, it’s often necessary to reach our goals and to truly realize our potential.

Man Shows Woman Difference Between Healthy And Toxic Relationship In One Message
Motivation

Man Shows Woman Difference Between Healthy And Toxic Relationship In One Message

One of the biggest keys to any relationship is trust. Another is communication. With communication and trust we allow our partner to feel supported and, ideally, loved.Twitter user May Larsen knows this well. She shared two screenshots of two different men she dated in a post that has since gone viral. In one, the man demonstrates a lack of trust and is clearly toxic. The other is trusting, which showed Larsen what a healthy relationship can really look like.A clear example of a toxic relationshipLarsen was out one day with some friends when the guy she was dating asked where she was. When she responded, he absolutely lost it and told her not to cheat."Wow, well have fun," he wrote. "Thanks so much for just now letting me know. Try not to cheat on me. Night."After she questioned this, he aggressively wrote: "I said night."'Difference between a boy and a man'Fast forward and Larsen was seeing a different guy.Yet again, Larsen was out and about -- at a party this time -- and didn't tell the guy. Instead of being upset that she didn't tell him where she was, the new guy had a very mature response that made the previous boyfriend seem truly toxic."[T]hen you can just call me and talk later okay," he wrote."Are you sure?" she responded."Of course, have fun and let me know when you're home safe, I love you," he said with a heart emoji to polish it off.Larsen shared both text message conversations in a Twitter thread that has been liked more than 65,000 times. Healthy relationships are built on mutual trust and respectIt's a no-brainer to see who here demonstrates alarming red flags and who shows signs of healthy attachment. The new guy showed that if you aren't overly controlling, and if you show trust, your partner will appreciate it. And if they don't and cheat anyways, well, perhaps they were the problem to begin with.More uplifting stories:4 Years Ago, He Was Homeless–Today, He Bought His First HousePoor Man Who Missed Job Interview To Save A Life Had Employers Lining Up To Hire HimDomestic Abuse Survivor Marries The First Responder Who Saved Her LifeBrooklyn Landlord Cancels Rent For Hundreds Of Tenants, Setting An Unprecedented Example For Others