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Plumber in $10,000 Debt Refuses to Charge Elderly Woman for His Services - But Then She Receives a Receipt From Him
Uplifting News

Plumber in $10,000 Debt Refuses to Charge Elderly Woman for His Services - But Then She Receives a Receipt From Him

James Anderson is a father, a plumber, and to many in the United Kingdom, a "godsend."In 2017, Anderson closed his private business and devoted himself entirely to helping disabled and elderly people with their plumbing issues -- for free (with that said, here are some kindness quotes).Why a Plumber Didn’t Charge an Elderly WomanAnderson made the decision to entirely commit to not-for-profit work when a receipt that was posted online went viral. It showed that he charged a 91-year-old woman with acute leukemia £0 for the job."No charge for this lady under any circumstances," he wrote, as shared by Metro UK. "We will be available 24 hours to help her and keep her as comfortable as possible."Why One Man Isn’t Worried About Being in $10,000 DebtTo do this saintly work, Anderson has gone into £8,000 of debt -- but he isn't too worried about it."To me, debt is debt… I would rather owe some money to somebody and another person be alive and happy and safe," he told Metro UK (Here's how to get out of debt).It’s an ethos that’s in my heart and it will always stay there.James AndersonWhy One Plumber Is Being Called a ‘Godsend'To pay for his supplies and costs, Anderson launched a fundraising campaign that pulled in £49,309 over the 42 days it was live.During the campaign, he filmed heartwarming videos with some of the people he helped, including this one:Anderson's work might not be as popular as supporting those impacted by war or hunger, but it's necessary nonetheless. "I don’t want any person who is elderly and disabled in this country, in this day and age, to die or suffer because of a cold home or a lack of funding to repair the boiler," he said. "It shouldn’t be happening -- that number should be down to zero. Simple as that."Help Others in Unexpected WaysThere is a serious problem in our society when disabled people and our elders -- our moms and dads, sisters and brothers -- don't have enough money to fix their broken toilets or showers. Sadly, without someone like a child to look after them, these people can be forgotten.Fortunately, the world still has people who use their skills for good, like James Anderson did. The lesson here is to help someone in need -- it can really mean the world to them.More from Goalcast:Frail Elderly Woman Dines All Alone at Cracker Barrel – Then, Strangers Witness Three “Big Burly” Men Walk Up to HerConstruction Worker Waves at Elderly Woman Looking Through a Window – Later, She Writes Him a Note That “Crushed” HimBus Driver Suddenly Stops While on Her Usual Route – Surprised Passengers Witness the Exchange She Has With an Elderly Woman

Lonely 8-Year-Old Has No Friends to Invite to His Birthday Party - Then His Moms Plea Brings 65 Truck Drivers to Their Doorstep
Uplifting News

Lonely 8-Year-Old Has No Friends to Invite to His Birthday Party - Then His Moms Plea Brings 65 Truck Drivers to Their Doorstep

Eight-year-old Oliver Johnson loves trucks. Like, really, REALLY loves them. While some kids his age like playing with trucks, Oliver spends all of his time obsessing over trucks. "Ollie knows every single name of every single truck and every single truck company. He gets the trucking magazine every month," his mother, Katherine, said.It's the one thing that is sure to put a smile on his sweet face. And smiling is something this lonely little boy doesn't do very often. Oliver struggles to make friends and with his birthday coming up and no friends to invite to a party, Katherine knew she needed to do something special.So, she turned to Facebook for help. And Facebook? Delivered.A Mom’s Desperate Plea for Her Lonely SonKatherine posted an ad on her local Hamilton, New Zealand buy and sell Facebook group offering $50 to anyone willing to take Oliver for a ride in their truck for his 8th birthday. She hoped that one truck driver would take her up on her offer.Turns out, one did...and he rallied the troops to turn his 1 into 65.Within an hour of posting, Barry Hart, the owner of Hart Haulage Ltd. in Auckland, New Zealand, answered the ad. And then he placed his own ad on his business Facebook page, looking for fellow truckers to form a birthday convoy."I (sic) hoping to help organise a convoy for a young fella who turns 8 on Sunday 9th July. chatting with his family he loves trucks but feels like he’s alone in the world. So we wanted to join with an already strong number of our friends in the industry to see if we can make Ollie’s birthday, one to remember," Hart wrote. The response from the trucking community was overwhelming. So overwhelming, in fact, that Hart had to cap the number of drivers for the event.65 Truckers Rally to Make 8-Year-Old’s Birthday One He’ll Never ForgetOn the day of the convoy, 65 trucks lined up to surprise Oliver. Some of the drivers traveled more than 75 miles at a personal expense of $500-$600 to be there. Not one asked for a penny in return.“I just saw that there was a kid who didn’t feel like he had friends and didn’t feel like he had a community around him,” said Hart. “I wanted to make sure that, and I would like to hope that every kid knows, that there is a community and people out there that will back them and stand beside them.”“When it comes to kids, this community, these truckers will always come out." Barry HartOllie’s dad Simon Johnson said the family was “literally blown away” by the number of trucks that turned up.But it wasn't just "truckies" who came out for the little boy. A local business, C&R Developments, hosted the birthday bash and Service Foods set up a free food truck and fed the nearly 200 drivers, friends, and families who attended the event. Additionally, a woman named Lisa donated a truck-inspired birthday cake. To top it off, well-wishers from around the world sent birthday greetings and gifts. As for Ollie? He was on "cloud nine" and couldn't stop smiling. The Power of CommunityThe impact of this heartwarming event extends far beyond a single birthday celebration. Ollie found not only a group of friends but also a sense of belonging within the trucking community.A community that he dreams of being an active member of one day.For the truckers, who are no strangers to feelings of isolation and loneliness, it was a generous act of kindness. But for Ollie, a lonely little boy, it meant the world. “To be perfectly honest, today has meant more than we could have ever imagined," his dad said.“How one little post on Facebook can go to what has been achieved today is absolutely phenomenal, and ‘thank you’ just doesn’t cover what’s happened today.”No child should ever have to experience living life without friends and it's heartbreaking to think that this is Ollie's reality. But thanks to an amazing community of truckers who were willing to step up and claim him as their own, hopefully, he'll never truly feel alone again.More from Goalcast:Desperate Mom Puts Out Ad to Hire Friends For Lonely Son With Down Syndrome — The Response is ShockingWoman Finds a Heartbreaking Note at Her Home From Her Lonely 90-Year-Old Neighbor – Jumps Into Action After Reading ItLonely Old Man Spies on Construction Site Every Single Day — So One of the Construction Workers Cuts Him a Deal He Can’t Refuse

Her Father Was Diagnosed With Cancer: A Girl’s Act of Kindness Comes Full Circle
Uplifting News

Her Father Was Diagnosed With Cancer: A Girl’s Act of Kindness Comes Full Circle

Growing up, Emily Bhatnagar didn’t have many friends. She was a shy, nervous child who often found herself on the outside. “If I’m being honest,” Emily said, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt ‘enough’ a single day in my life.” But she did have books and a loving family — her two favorite things. She was an avid reader, and her father Mike Bhatnagar was her best friend.That made it all the more devastating when Mike was diagnosed with Stage 4 thyroid cancer. It was another source of anxiety added onto Emily’s already full plate. The teenager kept her head down and tried to juggle school and her job at her family’s food store; but she felt increasingly overwhelmed and more alone than ever. She was so worried about her father that she spent every spare minute she had at his side, running to and from the hospital.“I would tube feed him during my small breaks,” Emily said. “I wanted to spend more time with him just in case anything were to happen. At that point my anxiety was so bad I had to take a break from high school.” She was depressed and had developed a worrying eating disorder. It was time to take back control of her life.Emily put her senior year on hold to focus on her family. Visiting her father day after day, she realized that she was not alone in her sadness. But there was no solace in that. It occurred to Emily that thousands of families must be struggling with the cancer diagnosis of a loved one. Even worse, that loved one might be a child.The Reason Why One Teen Started a Book DrivePhoto by Huỳnh Đạt“I thought, there’s a child out there who’s fighting the same or a similar battle as my dad,” Emily remembered. “Imagine being that young and having to go through that and not understanding it fully. I thought about how terrifying that would be.”And so Emily selflessly put her own fears aside and thought about how she could help children who were struggling with theirs. What would make them happy? What would help them escape their loneliness and fear? For Emily, the answer was obvious: books. “They kept me company [when I was young] and I became so immersed in them. It felt like I was less lonely.” So she started a book drive, calling it For Love and Buttercup. Emily says that buttercup flowers represent all that is “pure and innocent and happy in the world.” Those were the exact three things that she hoped that kids undergoing cancer treatment would be able to find their way back to.That summer, she started locally and asked neighbors to donate books for children of all ages. The response was overwhelming — in a good way, this time. Emily and her brother drove around town picking up books…and did so again and again and again. Eventually, Emily created an Amazon Wishlist so that people from anywhere could donate books to the cause and have them shipped directly to Emily.Several years later, For Love and Buttercup is still going strong, so strong in fact that Emily is working on creating a proper nonprofit organization. So far, she’s been able to donate over 15,000 books to hospitals in the Washington, DC area where she lives. She still thinks about the kids she’s met on these book drops every day.How One Girl’s Book Drive Helped Children Feel Less AloneIn the winter of 2021, Emily walked back through the halls of MedStar Georgetown University, where her father was treated for cancer. This time, though, it wasn’t to visit her father but rather to bring books. It felt good, Emily remembered. “Full circle,” she called it.Emily’s father Mike isn’t in the hospital anymore. Much to the joy of everyone who knows him, Mike recovered from his thyroid cancer. Although he lost his ability to speak, he doesn’t need his voice in order to be able to communicate with his daughter. The two spend lots of time together delivering books.“He helps me lift up the boxes,” Emily smiled. “It’s just really heartwarming to see everything and see his reaction. It’s probably one of the most special parts of the book drive.”In an email to Today.com, Mike wrote: “I have never seen such warmth and kindness from people as I have during these past few months during Emily’s book drive. I have learned that people have a great capacity to show love to others.” He couldn’t be more proud of his daughter and how far she’s come from the quiet, insecure little girl she used to be.“The first time I gave believing in myself a try,” Emily admitted, “the book drive happened, and it’s one of the most precious things to have ever happened to me.”Indeed, it’s one of the most beautiful things to happen to a lot of people.

What You Need to Know About Skin Hunger
Relationships

What You Need to Know About Skin Hunger

Over the past nearly two years of the pandemic, we have collectively had to adjust our lives in unexpected ways. With social distancing becoming the norm, many people have experienced less physical touch than ever before. This has led to what’s called “skin hunger,” or becoming “touch starved.” Being separated from close friends and family members for long periods of time, and then not being able to have physical contact with them when you do see these people in person, has an impact. In fact, many people, especially those who live alone and naturally lack this physical closeness with others, report craving human contact over the course of this Covid-19 ordeal. Touch is an important source of pleasure for people, whether you’re hugging a parent or child or engaging in an intimate moment with a romantic partner. When you’re touch deprived, you are missing out on a biological need and that can have a major impact on your mental health. Unfortunately, this is something known all too well by the immunocompromised, or those that have outstanding health issues. They’ll often be more susceptible to skin hunger, as they need to remain more isolated than others as a matter of course. While this article won't provide medical advice for what to do when you’re experiencing skin hunger, it will outline what exactly skin hunger is, why it matters and what you can do if you’re experiencing it. What’s certain is that sometimes, your own skin just isn’t enough!What does it mean to be touch starved?Skin hunger essentially means that you experience little to no physical contact from other living beings, but especially from other humans. Human touch is important for our nervous systems and brains because of the pleasure reward we receive from all kinds of touch, from platonic to sexual. Without the pleasure and oxytocin release induced by touch, people can feel more isolated and depressed, among other symptoms that will be further discussed below. The flip side of experiencing skin hunger is being what’s called “touched out.” This is a common phenomenon among new mothers who spend the majority of their days holding their babies (and potentially breast feeding every few hours as well). When you’re touched out you are experiencing too much touch and feel like you need more time in your days when no one is touching your body, or is even near your personal space.Does skin hunger only apply to sensual touch?Skin hunger isn’t analogous to sexual longing. Being starved for touch means that you are craving any kind of physical contact to the point that you’re feeling a negative shift in your mental health. There are so many ways to give and receive touch in non-sensual ways: Getting a massage, shaking hands, hugging a friend, giving high fives—the list goes on. This is why touch starvation has become more of an issue over these past almost two years. People have become not only more isolated during the pandemic but also more wary of spreading germs. The small gestures of touch that we were all once accustomed to can still feel too risky for many. Why touch is essentialTouch is one of our basic human senses. It’s just as important as seeing, hearing, smelling and tasting. And when it comes to mental health, you could argue that touch is essential. The importance of oxytocinWhen people touch each other, even in passing with a high five, the brain stimulates the pathways for oxytocin, the hormone associated with trust and empathy, dopamine, which is associated with pleasure and serotonin, which is the body’s built-in antidepressant. Oxytocin in particular is a hormone you don’t want in short supply since it contributes to your ability to handle stress and to your overall well being. When you take away touch, your brain doesn’t get to produce this feel-good chemical as often. Research on rats has shown that non-noxious sensory stimulation (as in, low intensity touch) that sparks oxytocin production can eradicate stress, increase social behavior and decrease blood pressure and cortisol levels. Touch is important for babiesOther studies have shown that touch can ease feelings of loneliness and helps slow down the nervous system, which can be beneficial for further easing the effects of stress and anxiety. Touch even plays a role in the outcome of babies who are admitted to neonatal intensive care units, or NICU. Babies who experience touch from their caregivers and parents have stronger outcomes and see better chances of improvement than babies who are more isolated. Touch also appears to affect attachment and brain growth in young children. This is why having babies, especially premature ones, are often lain on their parent’s naked chests - to deepen the bond and provide all the related benefits.In short, touch matters—a lot. Humans are not meant to be isolated from other people for long periods of time. When these periods are necessary, like in a time of a pandemic, people can feel the effects of not being touched, resulting in skin hunger, and potentially, self-soothing behaviors like gambling, shopping, over-eating, or the use of drugs and alcohol. Signs of skin hungerIt can be difficult to officially diagnose skin hunger because the signs of touch deprivation are similar to other mental health conditions. Especially in these times where life is stressful and unpredictable, it’s hard to say if skin hunger is the actual reason for the following symptoms. If you’ve been particularly isolated from other people, it’s worth checking in with yourself to see if these signs might help you better understand your need for human touch.The main symptoms of skin hunger are:Feeling anxiousFeeling depressedFeeling deprived of affectionFeeling an overwhelming sense of lonelinessFeeling a high level of stressFeeling like you’re not satisfied in your relationshipsFeeling avoidant toward friends and family membersFeeling tired all the time and having a hard time sleeping soundlyIf you’re having any of these symptoms, it’s worth talking to your mental health provider (or finding one) to understand where these feelings are coming from and how you can best deal with them during these unprecedented times. Overcoming anxiety and depression in particular may require help from a professional. If you’re feeling especially overwhelmed or unwell, don’t try to weather the emotional storm on your own. Remedies to fix skin hungerThe short answer to solving skin hunger is to get touched by others. However, this isn’t always possible right now, especially for those aforementioned immunocompromised people. The following ideas may not work for everyone but they are meant to give a breadth of suggestions for solving skin hunger so that you can find the physical contact that works for your unique needs. Commit to more touchFor those who live with other people, finding opportunities to touch can help ease the issue of skin hunger. The isolating nature of the pandemic combined with feeling perhaps more annoyed with or desentized to the others in your household may have caused you and your loved ones to stop touching each other as much. Make touch part of your daily routine. Greet family members with hugs when they arrive home. Hold hands with your partner. Hug your kids longer and allow them to sit on your lap when they ask. Ask your roommate to high five you. Sit closer to your mom on the couch when you’re watching TV. Whoever you live with, chances are they’re also feeling the effects of skin hunger and could use some physical touch, too. Cuddle animals(LWA / Getty)While animals aren’t the same as people, petting a dog or cat has been shown to increase oxytocin levels in research studies and will provide a feel-good hormone boost when you’re feeling lonely. If you don’t have a pet, visit an animal shelter or adoption center to get some time with furry friends (you may just end up coming out with one of your own!). You can also offer to pet sit for friends and borrow an animal for a weekend to help you out of your skin hunger rut. Get a massage or facialWhen you’re comfortable with the covid situation, you can book a massage or facial at your local spa to get a dose of relaxing human touch. Even a 20 minutes foot or scalp massage can provide the calming effects of touch and help sooth your nervous system. A foot massage is also a fairly low risk activity since your massage therapist won’t be face to face with you (and you’ll ideally both be masked). Use a massage toolIf getting a professional massage isn’t in your budget, or just isn’t possible right now for you health or risk-assessment wise, invest in a simple massage tool to give you the sensation of touch. You can get a device that you put your feet in for a foot massage, a massaging pad you can drape over your office chair or a neck massager—there are a number of possibilities depending on what type of massager will help you relax and destress. While you won’t have the human contact aspect of massage, you will get the relaxing and de-stressing perk from a tool or device, which is better than nothing. Try dry brushing Dry brushing has roots in Ayurveda, the ancient Indian medical system, and has been practiced for literally thousands of years. Basically, you take a dry brush and rub it gently over your skin to activate blood flow and exfoliate the surface. (Dry brushing also activates your lymphatic system, giving you an added bonus of reducing inflammation in the body.) All of this provides you with an opportunity for touch that provides stimulation for your nervous system. It’s not only relaxing but it’s soothing as well. Give yourself a gua sha treatmentGua sha is another ancient skin treatment, though this one originates in China. Using a small, smooth tool that glides over your face and neck you stimulate your skin, promote blood flow and come away with a healthy glow. It’s another way to experience touch at home while also benefiting from relaxation and beauty benefits as well. Get your hair done(supersizer / Getty)Many of us gave up getting professional haircuts during the pandemic, which saved many people money and time. But not getting your hair cut by a barber or a stylist also deprived you of an easy way to get that hormone boost from another person’s touch. If you’re feeling comfortable, schedule a professional haircut, or even just a wash and blow dry or styling so you can reap the benefits of physical contact from it. Bonus: Your hair will probably look way better than what you’ve been doing to it by yourself. Use a weighted blanketA weighted blanket can be helpful with anxiety and trouble sleeping in general. If you’re also experiencing skin hunger, a weighted blanket can feel like a full body hug, giving you a sense of grounding. While it doesn’t replace a snuggle from a live human being, this kind of blanket can make you feel more secure and give you comfort. Connect emotionally to other peopleWhile this tip doesn’t have anything to do with physical touch, it’s important to get your emotional needs met during periods of skin hunger. Push yourself to reach out to others via email or text if you live alone and feel isolated. (Even call people if you feel so inclined.) Make sure your social media habits are healthy and that you’re engaging with people and content that make you feel good about yourself, not less than. Wave hello to neighbors, delivery drivers and any other humans you might see when you’re taking a walk or getting the mail. Even if these are superficial interactions they add up to helping you feel more like part of the community, which can do wonders for your mental state. The power of touch Experiencing skin hunger can be emotionally painful. While the pandemic has highlighted touch starvation as a condition, feeling a longing for touch can happen even in normal times. Know that you’re not alone, especially if you live by yourself and work remotely. Many people, especially now, are experiencing this. Remember that skin hunger won’t last forever. If you’re longing for a romantic partner, you will find the right person one day. If you’re missing friends and family members that you’re not able to see as often right now, know that this situation will change and shift as time goes on. Do the best you can to take care of your mental health and try some of the ideas for remedying feeling touch starved. Sometimes, the hardest part is identifying the problem and taking that first step toward helping yourself. Once you know what you need, you can determine how to best quench your touch cravings and start to feel better. (Westend61 / Getty)Still feeling a bit down? Read these lonely quotes to boost your mood.

How to Deal with Loneliness Inside and Out
Emotional Health

How to Deal with Loneliness Inside and Out

There hasn’t been a test in a long time on our collective mental health and emotional stability quite like the one of the past 18 months. When the pandemic unexpectedly hit us in February of 2020 and was followed by a global travel ban and shutdown, we as a human race panicked. Suddenly, we’d been cut off from the many external resources such as entertainment, friendships, support groups, and other social interactions that would normally help us cope in a situation like this, or at least help distract us from a harsh reality.Cases of loneliness have been steadily on the rise in the last decade, and not surprisingly skyrocketed during the pandemic. According to an article from the Harvard Gazette, young adults and teens seem to be the hardest hit of the age groups, even more so than the elderly. The reason is they’re just on the verge of transitioning from their inherited family, but haven’t yet entered their chosen family. In other words, most of them are still single and without everyday companionship of a spouse or partner.But one can argue combating loneliness isn’t exclusive to those who are single and unattached. Even in marriages and committed relationships, many adults experience feelings of loneliness, sometimes just as intensely as someone who is single, or even more so. Since the expectations of intimacy and emotional fulfillment are attached to having a spouse or partner, it would cause each person to feel disappointed and lonely if they’re not on the same page. The feeling of loneliness in that scenario is likely amplified.It’s evident loneliness isn’t just from a lack of physical companionship. The state of our mental health is also a factor why some of us don’t deal with loneliness as well as others. As society as a whole grows to have a deeper sense of the body-mind-spirit connections, we begin to understand how our physical state can affect our psychological state, which can affect our emotional state and vice versa. The good news is, we now also have an understanding that overcoming loneliness and many other mental and emotional distresses can be taught and learned. It’s a skill like any other that can be acquired through some practice. Ready to transform your loneliness? Start reading!Identifying types of lonelinessBefore we can dive into the what and hows of dealing with loneliness, we need to first understand the reasons why we feel lonely. And this goes beyond the inspiration we can find when reading loneliness quotes. Since the degree and complexity of loneliness can vary with each person, a fair amount of self observation and reflection is required. The more we get to know ourselves and our circumstances, the more we’ll understand our own needs and how to fulfill them. The dictionary definition of Loneliness describes it as simply “feeling sad or unhappy because one has no friends or company.”However, anyone who has experienced more than a few days of loneliness can probably attest it’s never as simple and straightforward as that. There can be many triggers to feeling lonely and each trigger can bring up a different emotion. It varies from person to person. For example, for a person who is single, to see a happy couple walk by can trigger feelings of sadness and sink into a depression; yet a different person who is also single may feel anxiousness instead and become eager to seek companionship. So it’s just as important to pay attention to how we respond to our loneliness triggers as much as the type of loneliness we experience.“Loneliness is not lack of company, loneliness is lack of purpose.” – GUILLERMO MALDONADO 1. Physical lonelinessThis is a common type of loneliness with an urge for physical connection. One side of the spectrum can be the need to have another physical body close by — just someone we can share our moments with. The other side of the spectrum is the need for physical affection such as hugging, kissing, and sex. (Robert Reed / Getty)As shown by years of psychological and neurological studies, a mental health professional will tell you that physical affection from another human releases oxytocin and reduces cortisol (the stress hormone), therefore nurturing relaxation and trust with others. The power of the physical touch is deeply healing.Physical loneliness is usually short-lived, based on the amount of interactions with other people.2. Mental lonelinessMany people crave intellectual connections, whether it’s chatting about what happens throughout the day with a family member, communicating what goes on in our minds to help us feel connected, or discussing matters of the world with others. With the amount of upheavals and uncertainties the world has seen in the last 18 months, there’s no doubt this would be an important aspect of releasing pent-up thoughts and concerns. Not being able to would likely cause confusion, frustration, social anxiety, anger, and could even negatively affect our physical health.Mental loneliness can vary from short-lived to chronic loneliness, based on the quality of interactions and individual needs.3. Emotional lonelinessFor those who operate more on an emotional level, empathetic relationships will play an important role. Most of us feel the need to express our feelings in response to what happens in our lives. In this case, rather than processing external information logically, we feel it more on a primal level — emotionally and intuitively. Regardless of how logical a person may be, there’ll always be a situation where an emotional response is triggered. Not receiving positive emotional feedback can result in feeling sad, lonely, and disconnected. Emotional loneliness can be short-lived, but can certainly become chronic if the experience is prolonged. It can even last a lifetime if we are unaware of it and accept it as a way of life. 4. Spiritual lonelinessThis is a type of loneliness not often talked about, and the reason is that it is far more elusive, and lives in the deeper part of our psyche. Most of us have probably had moments of sensing something, but we just can’t quite put our finger on it. They say a person’s spiritual journey is alone, but I can confidently say from experience that while each of us is on our own path, it is possible to have those by our side who understand our deepest desires and purpose in life. For some, the pursuit of spiritual alignment based on purpose, belief, and practice is of the utmost importance. Not having someone who understands or shares similar spiritual pursuits can leave us feeling empty and unfulfilled.Spiritual loneliness can vary from short-lived or chronic, though that depends highly on someone’s own spiritual pursuits and level of consciousness.Now the big question: How to stop feeling lonely?If you’re new to the loneliness space, this can be a scary and intense feeling. But not to worry, everyone at one point or another has experienced some type of loneliness, and to eventually make efforts to combat loneliness. It is ingrained in us to connect with family members and friends, as well as life forms all around us. If you’re experiencing chronic loneliness and have lived with feeling lonely most of your life, also not to worry, this too shall pass. You can acquire the tools to help you get to where you want to be. Sometimes the very idea of permanence is what keeps us stuck in a loop of self-pity, which perpetuates the feeling of loneliness. Let’s get you out of there! It’s not impossible to overcome loneliness (and other mental health issues) when you have the right tools.“Loneliness is proof that your innate search for connection is intact.”– MARTHA BECK1. Feel lonely? Creating opportunities for more social interactionsIf your loneliness falls somewhere between physical and mental illness, then increasing social interactions and forming new relationships would likely help your overall well being.As most adults graduate from college and are no longer provided with the constant social interaction that is so typical of that part of our lives, connecting with a nearly identical demographic, making friends and maintaining friendships. Now, after college, to do the same thing can take more effort. Our goals and priorities may have also shifted during the course of our transition into a different lifestyle.In order to draw more people into our lives, we need to develop a comfortable set of social skills. While this may seem elementary, having good social common sense and etiquette is a valuable skill to have. After all, relationships are about being able to relate to one another.Here are some helpful tips if you are ready to welcome new friends into your life:Let others know you feel lonely and are looking for more friendsSay “yes” to invitationsKeep an open mind to new interests and activitiesLook for commonalities rather than differences between friendsMake plans to get together and follow through in your existing relationshipsBe respectful of others’ boundaries and be honest about your own boundariesDon’t force it2. Form deeper connections The feeling of not being understood in our own life can cause the bulk of our emotional loneliness, can lead to negative feelings and affect our general mental health over time. The language of our emotions is unique to the individual and doesn’t always make logical sense. And it usually takes more than a few casual get-togethers to share that part of us, especially if you’re shy to begin with. If you constantly feel you’re alone and no one understands you, there could be a number of reasons, such as:You’re surrounded by people who don’t really listen or hear youYou’re surrounded by people who can’t relate to what you’re saying because they lack personal experienceYou haven’t developed the skills to articulate exactly how you feel to othersYou haven’t been open and honest in telling others about your feelings because you fear resentment or judgmentYou’ve given up letting yourself be known because you have accepted and expect that “no one will understand”If you can identify with one or all of the above then you can try doing the following :Change your environmentPlace yourself in a safe space. Surround yourself with people who listen and provide genuine support and encouragementSharpen your communication skillsDo this through the practice of describing your feelings and emotions as often and accurately as possible. The more you fine-tune your ability to communicate, the more people will relate and understand where you’re coming from.Practice vulnerabilityDon’t be afraid to talk about your personal experiences, history, struggles, etc. The only way to form deeper and more meaningful connections is by putting yourself out there. It is also a way to filter out those who are not on the same page as you.3. Protect your mental health: Develop a routine of inward-focused practicesContinuing your journey of self-discovery will always benefit your quest to feel less lonely. If you are a person that experiences loneliness for many years, and have always felt unfulfilled no matter what, then it may be wise to lean into this time and learn to love your own company. A routined inward-focused practice will help you confront the shadow parts of yourself you’ve not been willing to face in the past. Journaling or free writing can be a liberating experience for anyone. Begin by journaling every night and write down anything that comes to mind, without filter or judgment. You can also carry a small pocket journal wherever you go during the day to write whenever you need to. End each session with a quiet minute noticing how you feel afterward.Develop a consistent practice of yoga, breathwork, or meditation. These practices enhance body, mind, spirit connections and allow for us to set aside some time for stillness and pay attention to what’s happening inside. With consistent practice, you will notice more calmness, focus, and presence.(Westend61 / Getty)Practice gratitude every day. Even if there’s only one person who is there for you, willing to talk to you when you need it, or cares about your happiness, then you have more love in your life than many others. Acknowledge who those people are. Cherish those relationships and express your gratitude toward them whenever possible. Doing so will open the space to invite more of them into your life. 4. How to cope with loneliness: overcoming mental conflicts or obstaclesSometimes our feelings of loneliness live only in our minds, when in reality, we may be surrounded by those who are more than willing to listen and spend time with us. Childhood or ancestral traumas could cause our self-esteem to take a beating at an early age and prevent us from receiving love from others as an adult. Societal norms can also place confusion and restraint on the way we connect with others, causing us to feel trapped and alienated. If that sounds familiar, reprogramming your mind and filling it with positive thoughts will likely create a big shift in your social as well as romantic life.Acknowledge your fearsAcknowledge fears and insecurities that may be holding you back. Some of the common obstacles for many are fear of rejection and fear of being judged. The emotional ramifications of being judged and rejected harshly are enough to keep us in our shells and hide our truths. Bravely recognizing and confronting those fears will gradually free us from the cage we’ve unintentionally built around us. It’s not always about you. When you do experience rejection and judgment from others, like we inevitably will, know that it’s not always about what you said, what you did, or who you are. We’re each responsible for maintaining our own balance, peace, and boundaries. How others react are their choices and are out of your control. Not everyone will click with you and that’s okay. The universe will always provide those who will if you leave that door open.Give up control and allow for relationships to naturally unfold. Sometimes we get so hung up on the exact type of relationship we’re looking for, we stifle the potential for them to grow and become something wonderful. Nurture the connection you do share, and don’t focus on what you don’t have. Use mantras and affirmations 3 times a day. Choose a positive phrase that resonates with what you’re currently working on, such as: “I welcome new relationships into my life without resistance” or “I feel lonely right now, but it does not define my life and my future.”Dealing with loneliness: ConclusionRegardless of your current circumstance and the intensity of loneliness you feel, when you understand that feeling lonely is really just feeling disconnected, you’ll better be able to navigate through your current state of mind knowing there is always a way out. Whether you can do that on your own, with the help of a professional, through some sort of employee assistance program or support group at work, there are always options to explore. Ultimately, finding your way to a meaningful and fulfilling life may look unattainable right now, but it’s the life we’re all meant to live — it’s our only destination. The choice of inviting others into our lives or keeping them out has always been ours. (Lucy Lambriex / Getty)We each have the power to create as many meaningful connections in life as we like, if we choose to.