Do you experience feelings that flow?
Or do you find yourself riding the rollercoaster of your own emotions?
One moment you’re laughing your lungs out, and the next you’re mad at your friend who did something wrong one year ago.
If you want to have a smooth journey to your goals, it’s time to take a lesson in emotional intelligence. So what does emotional intelligence really mean?
4 Ways Emotional Intelligence is Essential to Your Success
In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.
– Daniel Goleman
(author of Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ)
What is emotional intelligence?
In simple words, emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage emotions so that you can maintain harmony, both within yourself and in your social life.
There are four skills integral to emotional intelligence:
- Self-awareness: the ability to understand your emotions.
- Self-management: the ability to direct your behavior accordingly.
- Social awareness: the ability to perceive others’ emotions.
- Relationship management: the ability to bring harmony in relationships.
On a personal level, you build self-awareness to know your strengths and struggles. Then, you use this self-knowledge to build healthy behaviors and achieve your goals.
On a social level, you empathize with other people, and understand their feelings and deeper needs. Then, you use this knowledge to build healthy relationships and effectively solve any relationship problems.
So what are the benefits?
If you want to reach the top, you have to know where you stand.
Self-awareness is the key to making progress in your life and career. Gary Vaynerchuk, a successful businessman and media personality, often stresses the fact that self-awareness is the most crucial skill you will ever develop. Because without self-awareness, your vision will be clouded by false assumptions about what you can achieve.
The truth is that most people don’t know their own strengths and weaknesses. This becomes a huge roadblock for them. For example, many people cannot work 10-12 hours a day, yet they want to build million-dollar businesses from scratch. Sometimes it even seems almost everyone is trying to become an entrepreneur these days, instead of becoming who they really are. But the truth is that you don’t have to be an entrepreneur to be successful. You have to know your one thing, the thing you can do better than others, and master it.
As Tony Robbins said,
“One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.”
Take action on your goals
Research proves that the most successful people are not those with high IQs, but those with high EQs — with high emotional intelligence. In fact, people with average IQs beat those with high IQs 70 percent of the time.
Many people just talk big — “I am going to earn $100,000 by next year.” But emotionally intelligent people actually take action. Their inner harmony and self-knowledge mean they know what they want, what they don’t, and what they need to do to motivate themselves. This helps them follow through on their intentions, and this little thing makes all the difference.
Say goodbye to stress
Aggressive deadlines, demanding boss, unstable personal life — there are many reasons people get stressed at work and in life. But if you practice emotional intelligence (it’s something that everyone can learn), you’ll know when and how to take the weight off — for example, by engaging in a couple minutes of deep breathing to take away your stress.
Emotionally intelligent people are in touch with their emotions, and know how to channel them in a healthy way. They know when and how to recharge their batteries when they’re stressed or exhausted, and they choose healthy ways such as exercise, yoga or body movement, listening to music, meditating, taking a walk, talking to a friend, and so on.
On the other hand, people with low emotional intelligence suppress their feelings, which then quickly build up into uncomfortable sensations of tension, stress, and anxiety. Instead of acknowledging and managing their emotions, they distract themselves on the Internet, smoke, drink, or take drugs.
Grow your network
New opportunities often come through people you already know. Everyone likes more smiles and less frowns. If you learn emotional intelligence, you’ll build healthy relationships both in the workplace and in your personal life.
Emotionally intelligent people know that humor, laughter and play are the secrets to their energy and drive. They know how to laugh, love and live.
Emotional intelligence equips you to understand others. It’s the happy-go-lucky philosophy. Once you attain a certain rhythm in your life and career, you’ll develop better relationships and achieve goals faster. This will make you run into unexpected and amazing opportunities.