Sometimes, things get heated– really heated.
Why? Here are a few examples:
- Bickering with your partner until it turns into a full-blown fight
- A fundamental disagreement with a colleague over a project
- A comment from your boss that ruffles your feathers
You're trying to avoid saying something you’ll regret. After all, the repercussions are great. Say something you don’t mean in a heated moment and you could damage an important personal or professional relationship.
And such situations don’t offer the ability to just get up and walk away. So, what are you to do?
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.– Harry S. Truman
Fortunately, there are several things you can do to diffuse a heated moment. Here are three:
1. Stop and breathe
The first way you can diffuse the anger in the room is by cooling yourself down.
The problem with arguments like this is both people get worked up to the point where they’re acting irrationally in an effort to protect themselves. It’s a natural reaction that’s to be expected, however, that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.
So, stop running in circles for a moment and turn your attention to your body. Feel your increased heart rate, the subtle shaking of the body, and the clouds in your head.
Turn to your breathing and focus on it even if only for a few seconds. You’ll be surprised at just how much you can cool yourself down in a few short seconds of this and, as a result, help diffuse the situation as a whole.
2. Take the lead by expressing remorse
These next two points are about cooling the other person down, either by taking the initiative to create a resolution or simply interrupting their train of thought.
When you’re butting heads fiercely with another person, you don’t want to give them an inch– and neither do they.
However, by opening up to the other person and expressing regret over how you acted (or reacted), you can cause the other person to cool off and retract themselves just enough for both people to find the common ground necessary to diffuse things.
So, take a moment to express remorse for how you acted. Admit that you might have gotten a little worked up and apologize for what you might have said or done.
3. Compliment the other person
Complimenting the other person has the ability to “interrupt” their train of thought, so it’s a great way to throw them off and can lead to some entertaining reactions.
In all seriousness, though, taking a moment to compliment the other person has a similar effect to the previous point– it causes the other person’s thought process to become broken just long enough for them to “snap” out of the trance of anger we often find ourselves in during heated situations.
For example, if you’re arguing with a colleague about a new marketing plan, when things get heated you can say something like, “I have immense respect for you [Name], you’re easily one of the best people I know at formulating these kind of strategies. I just feel that it would be worth our time to try something else.”
A compliment such as this softens your approach, makes them step back, and lets them know that you’re not attacking them personally, which is the reason we often react so vehemently in heated situations.
Military Dad Defends His 4 Little Daughters When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Military Dad of 4 Daughters Defends His Girls When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Austin von Letkemann is the military officer strangers feel "sorry" for — and the reason is infuriating.
Whenever the devoted father leaves the house with his four children, strangers can't help but notice the officer in uniform is holding hands with 4 adorable little girls. They will tell the traditionally "masculine" and "all American" dad they feel sorry for him, because he has no sons. This dad makes one thing very clear: They are his daughters, they aren't a burden.
In a passionate video, von Letkemann took to Instagram to share with his followers that the only thing that's "difficult" about being a girl dad — is clapping back to these sexist remarks over and over again.
They Mock His Daughters To Their Face
When strangers approach Austin von Letkemann and his four daughters, they don't always realize that their comments are being overheard. They seem oblivious to the fact that his girls understand every word. Von Letkemann describes how people will approach him and, without thinking, make remarks like "I'm sorry" or even joke about his lack of sons. What they don't realize is that these comments, intended to be light-hearted or humorous, can be deeply hurtful to his daughters. These strangers are not just disrespecting von Letkemann's choices as a father; they're also sending a message to his daughters that their presence is something to be pitied. It’s a message that von Letkemann won't stand for, and he's speaking out to defend his girls from these insensitive remarksSaying "Get Your Shotgun" Isn't Funny — It's Sexist
Another common comment that Austin von Letkemann encounters is the old "better get your shotgun ready" trope, often delivered with a smirk or a wink. This line is typically intended to suggest that a father with daughters should be on high alert to protect them from potential "suitors," implying that they are objects to be guarded rather than individuals with agency.
Von Letkemann finds this line of thinking outdated and sexist. In his viral Instagram video, he points out that these jokes are not just stale — they're damaging.
By suggesting that his daughters require armed protection, the joke reinforces the idea that women are inherently vulnerable and need to be shielded from men. Von Letkemann argues that instead of promoting this narrative, society should focus on teaching respect and consent, challenging these sexist tropes at their source.
Watch Austin von Letkemann's Video:
"If I Had A Fifth Child, I'd HOPE It Was A Girl" — One Dad's Message For Other Parents
Despite the constant remarks about his lack of sons, Austin von Letkemann is clear: He wouldn't trade his daughters for anything.
In fact, he told his Instagram followers that if he were to have a fifth child, he would hope for another girl. This declaration isn't just about doubling down on his pride in his family — it's a pointed response to those who see fathering daughters as a misfortune.
Von Letkemann's stance is a powerful one, rejecting the notion that a family is incomplete without sons. He encourages others to question the assumptions behind these comments and to appreciate the joy and fulfillment that his daughters bring. By sharing his story, von Letkemann hopes to create a more inclusive perspective on fatherhood, one that values daughters just as much as sons.