5 Reasons Why It’s OK to Keep Turning Down Social Invites from Toxic Friends
If there are friends in your life who sap the happiness out of your mood, it’s time to start the year off on a new foot. Take an inventory of these “happiness spoilers” and realize it is more than alright to turn down their invites to get together. Make plans with those who bring you up, instead of the toxic people who bring you down and your year will be a whole lot more fruitful.
Here are some expert tips on how to do just that.
Put yourself first
Lose the guilt about putting yourself before others. “Putting yourself first is not a crime,” explains Emer Moloney, founder of thisisnotlifecoaching.com. “Depending on how you were raised and the values you live by, you may be conditioned to be a people pleaser and you may feel real guilt saying ‘no.’” Instead, visualize an evening doing the things you want to do, with the people you want to be with.
RELATED: 5 Signs Your New Relationship Might Become Toxic
Realize the value of your time
Your time is a limited and valuable asset. “Each second it passes you can never get it back, and giving time to friends you don't want to spend time with or who drain you and make your day less than what it would have been without them is literally giving away your most valuable asset for free to someone who you don't want to give it away to,” explains life coach Stacy Caprio. What's more, you can never get it back, she says. Instead, think about who is really a good friend and who is not -- and make those who are being a good friend to you a priority to see.
Cut your stress triggers
Living life is hard enough without the added stress and energy-drain of being around people who bring us down. “We must choose our inner circle of people carefully, because we need to have people in our life that make us feel safe, respected, understood,” says Natasha Sandy, a psychotherapist and female empowerment igniter in Toronto, Canada. “There are people in our lives who will be good friends forever, and there are others who will not, for all sorts of reasons.”
Understand you’re evolving as a person
We are ever-growing and evolving beings, says Sandy. “As we mature and own our value, we also step into our power. Along with this empowerment comes a growing self-awareness in general, as well as a growing awareness of what we need from our friends and family,” she says. In owning and exercising this empowerment, Sandy says it becomes easier to ask for what we need, to state what we don’t like, and to nurture the relationships that matter, as well as stop putting effort towards relationships that bring us down.
Respect yourself more
Sandy says when we prioritize love and respect for ourselves we also prioritize giving and getting it from the people around us. “The more we exercise our spirit muscle of assertiveness, the easier it becomes to decline social invites from superficial, unhealthy or meaningless relationships,” asserts Sandy. “Alongside this, we should be shifting our energy and efforts towards nurturing the relationships that do matter. This makes for a better, more meaningful life and fuels our mental, emotional and spiritual health.”
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Military Dad Defends His 4 Little Daughters When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Military Dad of 4 Daughters Defends His Girls When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Austin von Letkemann is the military officer strangers feel "sorry" for — and the reason is infuriating.
Whenever the devoted father leaves the house with his four children, strangers can't help but notice the officer in uniform is holding hands with 4 adorable little girls. They will tell the traditionally "masculine" and "all American" dad they feel sorry for him, because he has no sons. This dad makes one thing very clear: They are his daughters, they aren't a burden.
In a passionate video, von Letkemann took to Instagram to share with his followers that the only thing that's "difficult" about being a girl dad — is clapping back to these sexist remarks over and over again.
They Mock His Daughters To Their Face
When strangers approach Austin von Letkemann and his four daughters, they don't always realize that their comments are being overheard. They seem oblivious to the fact that his girls understand every word. Von Letkemann describes how people will approach him and, without thinking, make remarks like "I'm sorry" or even joke about his lack of sons. What they don't realize is that these comments, intended to be light-hearted or humorous, can be deeply hurtful to his daughters. These strangers are not just disrespecting von Letkemann's choices as a father; they're also sending a message to his daughters that their presence is something to be pitied. It’s a message that von Letkemann won't stand for, and he's speaking out to defend his girls from these insensitive remarksSaying "Get Your Shotgun" Isn't Funny — It's Sexist
Another common comment that Austin von Letkemann encounters is the old "better get your shotgun ready" trope, often delivered with a smirk or a wink. This line is typically intended to suggest that a father with daughters should be on high alert to protect them from potential "suitors," implying that they are objects to be guarded rather than individuals with agency.
Von Letkemann finds this line of thinking outdated and sexist. In his viral Instagram video, he points out that these jokes are not just stale — they're damaging.
By suggesting that his daughters require armed protection, the joke reinforces the idea that women are inherently vulnerable and need to be shielded from men. Von Letkemann argues that instead of promoting this narrative, society should focus on teaching respect and consent, challenging these sexist tropes at their source.
Watch Austin von Letkemann's Video:
"If I Had A Fifth Child, I'd HOPE It Was A Girl" — One Dad's Message For Other Parents
Despite the constant remarks about his lack of sons, Austin von Letkemann is clear: He wouldn't trade his daughters for anything.
In fact, he told his Instagram followers that if he were to have a fifth child, he would hope for another girl. This declaration isn't just about doubling down on his pride in his family — it's a pointed response to those who see fathering daughters as a misfortune.
Von Letkemann's stance is a powerful one, rejecting the notion that a family is incomplete without sons. He encourages others to question the assumptions behind these comments and to appreciate the joy and fulfillment that his daughters bring. By sharing his story, von Letkemann hopes to create a more inclusive perspective on fatherhood, one that values daughters just as much as sons.