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  • Hung Thai

    Hung is a purveyor of nonsense and fantastical stories with some kind of insight (maybe). And sometimes he writes stuff that almost makes sense. Aerospace engineer and avid traveler.
There's No Overnight Success: The Story of the Maple and the Weeds
Success Stories

There's No Overnight Success: The Story of the Maple and the Weeds

The world is filled with people offering success at little to no effort. Don’t be fooled by it. I’ll explain why in this analogy between the maple tree and an army of weeds. There's No Overnight Success: The Story of the Maple and the Weeds It takes 20 years to become an overnight success. - Eddie Cantor The battle carries on in my front lawn. Every year, the slow and steady Japanese maple I planted years ago must compete against the horde of weeds that spring out of nowhere. Though five years old, the maple stretches a measly two-foot tall. It must watch as aggressive weeds surge to its height, threatening to attack with their insidious weeds army. My wife urges me to smite the invaders with my own army of lawn tools; however, I brush off her commands using allergies as my excuse. It works every time. And so, the weed armies make camp on my lawn, but I don’t give it a mind. Because I know that at the end of the season, the hordes will wither and die, whereas my trusty maple would have grown half a foot taller. Its roots would have dug a foot deeper, and its trunk grown stronger and sturdier. Years from now, the maple will tower above the invading hordes. It will blot out the sun and kill my enemies without me lifting a finger. Die, weeds! Die! Okay, this article just took a strange and violent turn. Simply put: I really do hate weeds, and I do really have debilitating allergies. And so I wait for the day my maple will rise and bring me glory. This is a silly story, but it does have an analogy to life and success. The maple sees far Sustained success takes time. The maple tree in the story represents this success. It doesn’t explode onto the scene out of nowhere. In the first two years, it spends all the energy establishing a healthy root system, digging deep into the ground. Then, year after year, it builds onto that strong foundation with durable rungs around its trunk. It grows a fraction of an inch at a time, but each layer is reinforced with the finest fiber. As such, it’s able to withstand the harsh winter. And with each winter that passes, it builds resiliency. Its growth comes from strength and character, having fought off winter’s icy grips. The maple prepares for the long future ahead, not just two seasons in the sun. Just like the maple, your success should be built on a solid foundation. This strength takes time to harness. You need to learn and master the basics. It will take a lot of time and you might be wondering why you can’t skip to the super cool master course. For most things in life, the super cool master techniques are basic moves in complex combinations. If you haven’t mastered the basics, your advanced moves will be superficial at best. When you take time to master your craft, you build experience and resiliency through failures. You learn from them. You learn to spot traps, tricks, and potential problems. You learn to deal with difficulties because your foundation is rock solid. And because of it, you don’t wither at the first sign of trouble. I can’t simply snap a maple tree in half or yank it straight out of the ground. It would require deliberate and extreme effort. And even then, I wouldn’t be able to do it. Shouldn’t your career and life be rooted by a strong foundation like that of the maple tree’s roots? When someone tries to knock you down, you can stand your ground. Take the time to build the foundation. Everything else depends on it. Don’t be like the weed So what about the weed? It certainly has the flare that captivates us, sprouting from nothing and growing exponentially in record time. But beneath that growth is a shallow and weak foundation, one that can be uprooted simply and easily. It doesn’t require much effort to kill a weed. Why, I could simply snap it in two at its base. And since it didn’t take the time to reinforce its limbs, it withers at the first frost. There seems to be many people selling success for next to nothing. They will offer you the easy way. “All you need to do is invest in this company for a 10,000% return in two years,” or “Watch this series of videos and you too could make tens of thousands of dollars influencing others,” or etc. It sounds tempting. Some people do make it. But the success is most oftentimes short-lived. Weeds come and go every year. They flash brightly for a moment then fade away into the abyss. I’d rather take my time to build an empire than to create a fleeting uprising that’s quelled in a moment’s time… and forgotten quickly thereafter. Confronted with a choice, I urge you: take the time to build a strong foundation like the maple tree, and live long and prosperous.

Help Any Way You Can (and You Always Can)
Purpose

Help Any Way You Can (and You Always Can)

In this article, I'll share a frightening childhood experience of life in Vietnam following the war. But from it, I learned the value of giving, even when you have little to nothing to give. Many people don’t think they can make an impact because they perceive their contributions to be minimal. I’d like to offer that even a small gesture can greatly affect a person’s life. You don’t have to be a superhero to be a superhero. Help Any Way You Can (and You Always Can) If we always helped one another, no one would need luck. - Sophocles Before we had time to react, the disheveled man had barged into the house. His ghostly face begged us for mercy. My parents and the stranger exchanged a few tense words. And just like that, they sprung into action, ushering this uninvited guest of the night into the back of the house and stuffing him into a basket. They covered him with dirty clothes and told him to stay quiet. We sat back down to finish dinner. I was mortified. My mom offered enough calming words to stop me from shaking. We pretended that everything was fine and continued on, anxiously waiting for a knock at the door or stampeding footsteps or yelling… anything at all. It hadn’t been that silent in the house in a very long time. We waited for what seemed an eternity. Finally, my father cautiously crept toward the door, lowered his head and peeked through a crack in the door. The coast seemed clear. Color slowly made its way back to our faces. It would be another half an hour before they dared to bring the stuffed man out from the basket and back into the light. They exchanged a few soft-spoken words. He ate, showered, replaced his dirty clothes with my dad’s, and stole into the dark of the night, bowing graciously as he snuck out the back - and back into the violent storm from which he had miraculously escaped. I was too young then to realize what had happened. My mother later told me that the troubled man was running from either a group of thugs or the communist police for some reason (the specifics escape me - it has been a long time since I’ve thought about this story). Whatever the reason was, my parents acted quickly and without hesitation; they wanted to help in whichever way they could. Being previously persecuted themselves, they knew the dire consequences that would befall the man had they not intervened. Where I grew up, we didn’t have much. Sometimes, all we had to eat was rice and soy sauce. But that didn’t stop us from helping those who had even less than we did. My mom taught us to help others to our capacity and capability: donate money if you can; if you don’t have money, provide a meal; if you haven’t a meal, donate your time; if you haven’t the time, donate a smile. Do what you can with what you have. That was what my parents did that night; they helped the best they could with what they had. Straying from the path But this was a lesson I would soon forget. Years later, as I’ve established my professional career, I grew increasingly attached to money. And as someone who had such an unhealthy addiction to it, I found every excuse I could to hang onto my money. My go-to excuse was that my small contribution wouldn’t make a dent. The excuses extended far beyond the monetary aspect. Me volunteering for two hours won’t make a difference. Someone else could help with this much better than I could. That person over there is more talented and more suitable to help than me. If I shared this post on my wall, it’ll ruin my “thing.” Somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that I couldn’t personally affect major societal issues because I was just one man - how could I, a nobody, change anything? I handed that responsibilities to superheroes, to billionaires, to thought leaders, to politicians, to anyone besides me. Realizing the truth Then one day on a hike up Taquile Island in Peru, I met a little girl selling knick-knacks to tourists. She must have been the same age as me when I left Vietnam. For some reason, seeing her waving the little knitted alpaca keychains brought back all the memories of my childhood, of having nothing, and of that unforgettable night. It took immense willpower for me to not burst into tears right then and there. I wanted to help this little girl so much, but by that segment of that trip, I was depleted of cash. I reached into my pocket and offered whatever I had left - a granola bar I had been dragging around with me for days. She delighted in it. Her absolute joy with the granola bar broke my heart. This small gesture brightened up her day. I couldn’t believe how much of a difference I must have made in her little world that day. Making a change My mom said it best: help others as your capacity and capability allow. You might not be able to donate $50,000 to a charity, but you could give $5 or a hot meal to a family in need. You might think your contribution is minuscule, but a small contribution is infinitely better than nothing at all. But contributing money isn’t the only way nor is it the best way to help. You can donate your time. Donate your talent. Donate a smile. Donate a silver lining in someone’s cloudy sky. Donate a spark to lead someone out of darkness. Donate your love. You might not realize it, but you have the power to be a superhero in someone’s life. After that trip in Peru, I started writing about my experiences to help others and I’ve been using that medium to manage an annual book project for charity. Though the fundraised funds have been modest, I truly believe that they do make a difference, however small that might be. So, I only ask one thing of you: really ask yourself, “How can I help?” You are capable of giving much more than you think.

My Family's Story Is Proof: You're Never Too Old to Start Over Again
Family

My Family's Story Is Proof: You're Never Too Old to Start Over Again

To many, especially those advanced in age, starting over is a scary proposition. To some, this forecasted mountain of challenges proves to be too crippling to attempt. And they wither under the weight of change. In this piece, I offer a story of my mom’s tumultuous journey and the many start-overs she endured to show that it’s not too late to begin anew. My Family's Story Is Proof: You're Never Too Old to Start Over AgainChange is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.- John F. KennedyI waved goodbye to the sleepy neighborhood. It was 4am and not a soul was stirring except for the five of us and the bus driver. It would be our last day in Vietnam. I don’t know if I could describe what I was feeling at that point. Fear, excitement, and a slew of other emotions -- but mostly, I was numb. As we rounded the corner, I shed a tear watching the house I grew up in fade out of view. But whatever emotional rollercoaster I was on during those first few transitional days from Vietnam to America could never compare to what my parents must have been experiencing. I was young enough that the effects of this new beginning didn’t debilitate me. I could make new friends quicker, learn the language easier, and assimilate to life in America faster. Starting over wasn’t as significant a barrier to me as it was to them. My parents were in their late forties; their road to societal integration wasn’t as smooth. They struggled. Yet, somehow they managed to rise above the rubble and became contributing members of society within months. Perhaps, they were forced to do so. Fight or flight, you know? And they fought. But, I think a major factor for this quick turnaround had to do with their positive mindset toward change. “It’s never too late to start over,” they would tell me. And started over they did, for the umpteenth time. To fully illustrate this point, I will give a brief summary of my mom’s many start-overs in her life and how she never shied away from them.From the change you never chooseWhen she was very young, her family moved from the countryside of North Vietnam to the cosmopolitan South. Back in the sixties, North and South Vietnam were as different as night and day. She quickly assimilated to life in South Vietnam and soon became a top student in school. Then, just as becoming a judge came within reach, the ravages of the Vietnam War caught up with her. South Vietnam fell. Leaving everything behind, she and her new husband fled the city to go into hiding -- my father was a ranking officer for the Southern Army at the time, and his life was in imminent danger. He was captured soon after and sent to “re-education” camps for six years. And just like that, my mom was reduced from a position of honor to one of a countryside daughter-in-law, farming the fields as a quasi-peasant. Even then, she thrived in that environment. Being one of a few educated people in the area, she became a teacher and a respected member of the community.Through twists and turnsSome years later, on my second birthday, my grandfather from my mom’s side visited us, and appalled by what he saw, plucked us from the farms and brought us back to the city. By then my mom had fully embraced the rural life. She started over again. The former Soviet Union and Vietnam were relatively close allies back then. There were a lot of Russian military personnel in the South -- and their wives. My mother soon became a somewhat famous seamstress for these Russian women. But just as soon as life stabilized, we got the call from the U.S. embassy: “You’re going to America.”To a(nother) new beginning in AmericaIn the US, she went back to school at the ripe young age of fifty, received an associate’s degree and soon became an admired team member for a Fortune 500 company. Yet just as soon as life stabilized and the joy of homeownership was upon her, the housing bubble popped. She lost the house she so proudly and deservedly earned. She was shipped off to Oregon to start over with a different division in the company. By then I, the youngest of three kids, had graduated college and started to earn a good living. To her, her “job” was done, and she retired. And I suppose retirement could be considered “starting over” as well.Triumphing through changeAll said and done, my mom’s life is comprised of many abrupt changes, but through them all, she triumphed. She triumphed because she didn’t let the emotional weight and strain of starting over erect an impenetrable wall before her. She embraced each change, and in doing so, found ways to overcome these hurdles. Now, when faced with the possibility of starting over, I channel my mom’s fighting spirit to move steadfast toward the future.So what I’m trying to say is… it’s not too late. You’re not too old to embark on a new journey. The obstacles you see are indeed tangible, but they’re not insurmountable. You might not have that pep in your step anymore, but as long as one foot can go in front of the other, strive forward! My mom’s journey is a testament of that.

Embrace Now, and Leave Later to Later
Mindset

Embrace Now, and Leave Later to Later

Do you believe that life can get in the way of happiness? In our quest for success, we sometimes forget to give ourselves a break and just be happy. In this piece, I share a personal struggle with stress, how it derailed my state of mind, and how I regained it by choice. Embrace Now, and Leave Later to Later Past and future are in the mind only -- I am now. - Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj I found myself staring blankly into the distance. Though Zen music filled the air, my mind raced from one stressor to the next: What am I going to say tomorrow at the leadership meeting? Why didn’t we catch this issue earlier in the project? When will I have time to work on the naked bathroom that we ripped out last year? What about the book project for charity? Should I start the garden over? Why aren’t the plants growing on this side of the yard? The Top-50 Hits List went on and on. Finding excuses For each of those questions, my mind always returned a negative sum outcome, and the negativity allowed panic to creep in. Damn it! When is all this going to be over so I can finally relax? Instead of seizing that exact moment to breathe, I started making excusable plans that made it okay for me to be in this embroiled mental state. The one I clung to the most was the self-preserving "if… then later..." formula. It’ll be okay. IF I can hang on a little longer to get this project over with, THEN I can finally relax. If this thing happens, THEN I’ll be stress-free. If this other thing works itself out, THEN I’ll be happy. The formula pushed what potential joy and relief I could have had at that moment to later. The only problem was the uncertainty of when this "later" would come to be. Sometimes, later comes too late or not at all. The only problem was the uncertainty of when this "later" would come to be. Sometimes, later comes too late or not at all. Forgiving oneself and letting go Denying myself the relief was, perhaps, punishment for having put myself into that situation in the first place. The what-ifs made their round. What if I had talked to this person first before pursuing this fix? What if I had said this instead of that? What if? What if? Even though some of the events transpiring before my eyes were out of my control, I felt responsible for them occurring. You are your harshest critic -- as people would say. The moment that broke my concentrated self-sabotage and gloom came as I observed my cat playfully pouncing on a piece of rubbish on the floor. He squatted at the rogue piece of cardboard, and, getting so worked up by its random movement, startled himself as he spryly sprung up into the air and darted out of the room. The moment that broke my concentrated self-sabotage and gloom came as I observed my cat playfully pouncing on a piece of rubbish on the floor. I chuckled at his silliness. That simple moment snapped me out of my stupor, and all the complicated scenarios started to simplify themselves. The first domino to fall was my acceptance of the mistakes I made, and forgiving myself. Then it was the acceptance that no matter what I did, didn’t do, or will do, life will continue to happen, and with it will come stress and undesirable situations. Finally, I chose to defer later and embraced now. Choose now I used to believe that happiness was waiting around the corner. In order to obtain it, I had to satisfy the prerequisite of accomplishing something or meeting some milestone or being there when something changes the current situation. When I have a girlfriend, I’ll be so happy. When I buy that car, I’ll be on cloud nine. When I get that promotion, I’ll be so thrilled. When the rain stops, I’ll be able to enjoy life so much more. When I retire, I can finally go on that trip I’ve longed for. It would certainly feel more deserved if that were the case; there would be a cause for celebration. But those 'big' events don’t occur everyday. They are few and far between. How about the rest of the time? Why is this very moment not good enough for us to embrace? Why is now not a good time? Would five minutes from now be a better time? What’s to say that we’d still be here in five minutes? In the absence of a grand trigger such as getting a promotion, relish in the fact that you’re still here. Find simple things to take pleasure in. Dive into a conversation with your friend and pay full attention. Be thankful and enjoy the things that you do have. And celebrate small victories whenever they occur. Now is as good a time as ever. So defer later; embrace now.

Mind the Comparison Trap: Why Life's Race Is Only Against Yourself
Mindset

Mind the Comparison Trap: Why Life's Race Is Only Against Yourself

Social media can be a wonderful tool for staying connected. It allows you to catch up with old friends and make new ones. However, it can also be a dismal place for your self-esteem. In this article, I share a time in my life when I was consumed with social media, and with the feelings of inadequacy that came from constantly comparing myself with the way others were portraying their lives. From the experience, I’ll share how I broke free of the comparison trap, and how you can, too.Mind the Comparison Trap: Why Life's Race Is Only Against YourselfI looked at my phone in disdain. What I had hoped for was a short recess from the grind to catch up on the news and the happenings from my circle of friends. It turned into a long and depressing chronicle of self-loathing and discouraging self-sabotage. It wasn’t the bad news. On the contrary, it was the good news and, specifically, the abundance of it that had me in a tizzy. On Facebook, it seemed as though everyone I knew was making excellent progress on his/her dream. The dizzying array of feel-good headlines threw me into an abyss of inadequacy: “I’m so thankful for everyone who believed in me because I just became the new blah blah blah”; “I’m happy to announce that we have launched blah blah blah”; and on it went. I had to escape the bombardment. Unfortunately, Linkedin was my ill-advised choice for the escape route. For within that realm, I realized how many of my colleagues and friends who started at the same time as me have become managers. And while I’d already made the decision long ago to forgo the management path, the sight of everyone else making it there unnerved me. I panicked.I threw the phone and myself on the bed, covered my face with my hands and let go a long sigh. Every piece of someone else’s good news was a dagger to my self-esteem. Where have I been? Have I done nothing? Why is everyone else getting ahead and I’m lagging behind? The questions buzzed around me like a locust swarm.I sank into the comforting embrace of the bed and fell asleep.Giving ourselves credit and painting the path forwardAfter that episode, I gave social media a rest. Over the next few days I went back over my personal timeline and realized that while I was ogling over others’ achievements, I had foolishly devalued my own worth and successes, of which I had many. I came to learn, first, how easy it was to fall into this self-deprecating trap -- to feel stuck in place, anxiously watching your peers wave good-bye as they speed ahead. Second, it became clear to me that I ought to give myself more credit for the incredible journey I’d already taken, and for the stones I've laid for the steps ahead. And lastly, I realized that the path each of us takes is unique to our situation, and that our worth shouldn’t be calculated based on skewed comparisons with others.Behind the scenes of the airbrushed facadeImagine two new drivers embarking on a journey. James is gifted a brand new Tesla Model S by his family; Jessica inherits a ten year-old Honda Civic. They take off from the same starting place, full of excitement and hope for the road ahead. Unfortunately, Jessica’s car breaks down 100 miles down the road. As she struggles to fix the flat tire, James passes her by. While they started together, their path diverge from that point on. Feeling frustrated, Jessica trudges on with one bad tire, resenting her place in the world. But unbeknownst to her, James was pulled over for speeding in a residential zone. After the setback, he cautiously hobbles his way back onto the freeway just as Jessica makes the exit. Their paths cross for a moment and they share their successes so far -- neither mentioned the obstacles they had cleared. This analogy provides a few important lessons: We might all start our journey at the same place, but we’re not similarly geared. Therefore, it is often not fair to compare whether we arrive sooner or later than someone else. Each of our journeys is different. Some might be fraught with difficulties, challenges, and setbacks. Sometimes you get lost in a circuitous route. And sometimes you get lucky and all the lights turn green for a smooth ride. Most times, people don’t share how they arrive at the destination, or talk about all the pain suffered in the process. You might only get the message that they arrived. The point is that you’re not the only one running into potholes, and you never know the full story.Just because someone gets a head start doesn’t mean you can’t catch up. The journey is full of surprises. You might get a helping hand or run into an idea that could change your path completely. So don’t panic. There’s plenty of time and opportunities down the road. The end goal for each of us might be similar, but it is uniquely our own. While it might be a marker for where we want to go, comparing our progress to others might not make much sense. If you want to go to Disneyland, why would you keep track of someone going to Universal Studios? When you feel like you’re not moving as fast as your peers, take a step back and look at your own accomplishments. It’s okay to feel proud of the many trials and tribulations you’ve surmounted. And if you don’t feel like you’ve accomplished much, now is a good time to put your plan for success into motion. Competition is ingrained in cultures all over the world, so it’s difficult to get away from comparing yourself to others. And while it can drive us to improve, it can also cripple our motivation and hope. Because we don’t know where our peers have been or where they might be going, the best bet is to focus on our own path -- do the work to understand our emotions and try to take a step forward every day, no matter how small that step might be.

Leave the Past Behind, Because the Best is Yet to Come
Self-Development

Leave the Past Behind, Because the Best is Yet to Come

Throughout our lives, we will invariably run into obstacles that might seem insurmountable. Faced with these grim realities, we might turn our attention to a happier and easier past. In this short story about Kathleen, a 96-year-old retiree, I’ll try to convince you that the good days are ahead of us. And as such, it is better to look to the future than to live in the days of yore. Leave the Past Behind, Because the Best is Yet to Come You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream. - C.S. Lewis Hayley, an energetic elderly wellbeing champion in charge of stimulation, happiness and emotional health at Hartford Court Care Home, lowered Kathleen into the water for her strengthening exercises. The cool water greeted her with open arms. The 96-year-old was giddy with excitement. Of all the seniors living at this seniors' home, Kathleen is a favorite among her peers and the caretakers working there. Her infectious positive attitude permeates through the halls and courtyard of this little community. After a solid session in the pool, Kathleen wrapped herself in a warm towel as she shook off the water in her hair. Her eyes twinkled brightly like a child staring into the starry night for the first time. She leaned over to Hayley and spoke with a soft voice, “I’m looking forward to building strength in my legs so I can walk without my trolley again one day.” Her voice was full of hope. Kathleen continued outlining her plans to Hayley, who, startled by the frankness and exuberance in Kathleen’s voice, listened intently. Then Kathleen shared something that sent chills up and down Hayley’s body: “I want people to treat me as an individual with a bright future ahead of her, and not just an old lady in a group of old people reliving her past, reminiscing about the ‘good ol’ times’ and waiting for her time to come.” Taking a mental step forward When Hayley shared this story with me, I was immediately inspired and ashamed. I began reflecting on my sometime negative outlook on life and especially the incessant ungratefulness of my current stock. Here was a 96-year-old aspiring for the future, while I, a healthy 33-year-old man, was spending a lot of time dwelling on the simplicity of the past: no mortgage, no waking up to go to work everyday, and on and on. How pathetic am I? I thought to myself. Here was a 96-year-old aspiring for the future, while I, a healthy 33-year-old man, was spending a lot of time dwelling on the simplicity of the past. While responsibilities and hardships are sure to confront each of us, having the right attitude to keep striving forth is paramount to our mental health and success in life. It’s easy to shrink back into simpler times when we’re faced with difficulties or setbacks, thinking to ourselves that the good days are long gone. But let me tell you, my friends: the good days aren’t behind us, they’re in front of us. The best is yet to come Doting on the past is comforting, like mom’s simple chicken noodle soup when you’re sick, but mom isn’t going to be around forever to nurture you back to health every time you fall ill. It’s certainly okay to fill yourself with the happiness that nostalgia provides -- just don’t stay there too long. The problem with living in the joys of the past is that you become more skeptical of the future. Once you’re holed up in that perpetual state, the future becomes discouraging -- you might eventually fall into a depression, holding on to the drug of days gone by. So go ahead and reminisce about the good times, but keep in mind that beautiful memories and new experiences await you on the other side of yesterday. Perhaps you’ve given up: I’m just too old to do this or that -- to start that book, to go on that trip across Europe -- it’s too late for me. As Kathleen has courageously shown us, it’s really not too late. If a 96-year-old can still endeavor to make the future hers, why can’t you? If a 96-year-old can still endeavor to make the future hers, why can’t you? Each of us is allotted a certain time on this earth, and as long as your clock hasn't run down to zero, there is still hope for a brighter future ahead, and days full of laughter and joy. I hope that as I mature in age, I have the courage and attitude to keeping moving toward the future like Kathleen. Do you have an inspiring story you’d like to share? Please send it my way. It’ll truly make my day and I’d love to write about it and share the feels with everyone. You can reach me at ht@launchingthedream.com.

Why I'll Never Forget How My Mother Cared for Me When I Badly Burned Myself
Family

Why I'll Never Forget How My Mother Cared for Me When I Badly Burned Myself

When does a mother stop being a mother? Is it when you get married? When you have your own kids? It’s clear to me that the answer is “never.” So to celebrate this Mother’s Day, I share a story of how my mother cared for me when I “accidentally” burned my knees, and urge you to celebrate your mother every day of the year.Mother for a LifetimeWe watched as the blazing trail of firecracker powder sizzled its way to the hole filled with a sizable and concentrated amount of even more firecracker powder. In a brilliant flash, the ignited powder sent a cloud of black smoke into the air, disappearing into the atmosphere as we stared wide-eyed in awe and excitement. Our plan worked to perfection. All it took was a few hours of gathering the firecrackers that hadn't gone off the previous night, during our celebrations for the Vietnamese New Year, Tet. It took another 30 minutes of peeling the firecrackers, disposing of the powder into a hole in the ground, and connecting it with a trail of the same element, to bring forth this glorious moment. It was also a recipe for disaster. To be as close to the action as possible, I sat ringside beside the hole with my knees extending right above it. When the smoke cleared and the excitement subsided, I was left with two knees blackened from the second-degree burn.When the smoke cleared and the excitement subsided, I was left with two knees blackened from the second-degree burn.All the kids, myself and my brother included, had no idea what to do. We finally came up with the solution to walk like ninjas to the back of the house and wash the black bits off my knees. I didn’t feel any pain at that point. I was in total shock. Washing the burnt areas turned out to be a bad idea, as the charred skin started sliding off my knees. I started bleeding. The other kids ran home, of course. They didn’t want to be around for what was to come next. At the realization that we have to go see our mother, the pain kicked in. It was horrendous.At the realization that we have to go see our mother, the pain kicked in. It was horrendous.She laid me down on the ground, rushed into the back of the house, came back seconds later and plopped these two giant “mothers” of vinegar she was growing onto my knees. "Mothers" of vinegar -- how fitting. You might wonder, “Why didn’t she rush you to the emergency room?” You have to understand, this was 1993 Vietnam. The vast majority of people in the country struggled to survive. We had neither the convenience nor the money for hospitals or clinics. You did what you had to do with whatever medicinal herbs or traditional methods you could find. The vinegar technique worked! I stopped bleeding and the two masses started eating away at the charred skin. The relief from the pain was tremendous, and I passed out from exhaustion. I woke up the next day with homemade bandages on my knees. I could barely move.What wouldn't a mother do for her child?One of my favorite dishes as a child was this wide-noodle dish with meatloaf, cucumber, basil, and fish sauce. We were poor. This was a luxury we had a few times a year. That day, my mother came into my room and gave me that dish. It was and still is the best thing I’ve eaten my entire life. It must have tasted extra special with her love and my tears mixed into the dish.She took meticulous care of me the next several weeks. To bring me to class, she carried me to my desk like a child. My mother is a small woman. I was 10 at the time but even at that young age, I was close to being her height. For such a fragile woman, her strength was that of ten men. It was as though a second source of power was imbued in her -- I think her love and devotion for us gave her this immense strength, both physically and mentally.For such a fragile woman, her strength was that of ten men. It was as though a second source of power was imbued in her -- I think [it was] her love and devotion for us...I was embarrassed, of course, but I felt nothing but pure love. And she certainly berated me for being so mischievous and causing her grief -- as I deserved. All the same, she tended to my recovery as if she were the one who was hurt. Mothers tend to that.Cherish your mother every day of the yearNow, I’m not a particular fan of Mother’s Day, mainly because I don’t think we should only celebrate our mothers once a year (or even twice a year, if you count birthdays). But if you think about it, our mothers never stop being our mothers, do they? No matter how old you are, you’re still her baby. For a person whose life is so intertwined with and dedicated to yours, appreciation and love need to be expressed throughout the year. So if your mom is around now, go give her a hug and let her know how much you love her. Now and then, remind her of that love, not just on Mother’s Day, but on any regular day of the year. That’s the best gift a mother can ask for. Our mothers, they, above all else, are the true heroes we must celebrate.Do you have a story of your mother you’d like to share? Just comment below and let’s celebrate our mothers together.

The Circles of Life: Why You Must Travel to Challenge Your Prejudices
Travel

The Circles of Life: Why You Must Travel to Challenge Your Prejudices

Some people think travel is a luxury. That isn’t necessarily true. While there is a definite cost to being on the road, I believe the reward far outweighs it. To me, travel is a necessity. Not because I’m looking for a high. I travel because I need to dispel my prejudice and come to a fuller understanding of humanity.Why You Must Travel to Challenge Your PrejudicesThe world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.– Saint AugustineLet’s say that your home is the center of an imaginary circle, the radius of which is the furthest distance you’ve been from home. Now imagine, for simplicity’s sake, that every time you stayed at a new place for more than seven nights, you formed a new circle, the radius of which is the furthest distance you’ve been from the center of that circle. We’re using seven nights in this instance because it’s the amount of time it takes before you consider something you do a “habit” (though others suggest it can be longer). For example, if you brushed your teeth seven nights in a row, you’ve formed a habit -- at which point not brushing your teeth makes you feel incomplete. The point is that after staying at a new place for a certain number of nights, it would have become a new “home.” Within these circles, stories of people’s lives, their culture, experiences, emotions, food and way of living become a part of your story. The longer you stay in these circles, the more you understand about the intrinsic values of the community and how they perceive the world. The more you understand, the clearer the circle becomes. It is possible that while learning about the people within a particular circle, you will also learn of intriguing places far away, of bizarre traditions and strange customs. Because of this exposure, you start to form fuzzy circles of understanding about the places you’ve heard about secondhand. You might even form opinions and prejudices about those places based on these external accounts.Finding our common bondThe problem is that for some people, these fuzzy circles are all they know. By not going to these places themselves, they can only imagine what life must be like there based on stories they've heard in the media or from their friends.For some, their curiosity will take them to these places. By going there and immersing themselves in that place’s culture, they learn about that locale’s story, and a connection is established. The veil of mystery is lifted and these curious individuals develop a clearer picture.The more you travel, the more of these circles become clearer to you. Then, magic occurs when these circles intersect. Because within these intersections, the common bond of all the individual circles begins to surface. It might even become apparent that the differentiation between “your story,” “my story,” and “their story” loses its hold: “my story,” “your story,” and “their story” become “our story.”We all dream the same dreamsIt is within these intersections that humanity’s story steps into the spotlight. Perhaps one would even realize that we’re not so different after all; that we all wake up hoping, wishing, and striving to find our own happiness; that the tears that fall from your eyes are the same that fall from mine; that pain, sadness, pleasure, happiness, excitement, and the spectrum of human emotions are shared between us; that at the end of the day, we wish for nothing more than to share a few peaceful moments of life with our friends and loved ones. It is within these intersections that myths are dispelled and prejudice gives way to understanding. It’s where love and respect are nurtured. If you are able, take that trip you’ve been thinking about. First-hand experience of different cultures is the remedy to fear. Form your own circles of understanding, and perhaps you might come to the same intersecting conclusion that I’ve laid bare. I travel for the taste, the sight, and the vibrant sound of a peculiar culture -- but for all my might, I haven’t been to a place that I haven’t felt at home. Imaginary borders and walls may separate people, but our shared humanity will bring us together. This is why I travel. Shall we go together?

What's in a Name? Why Adding Value Is More Important Than a Job Title
Career Growth

What's in a Name? Why Adding Value Is More Important Than a Job Title

At a recent mentoring event, I asked potential mentees what they wanted to do. Their response changed my thinking about the value of one’s job title. I concluded that one should focus on adding value to one’s name and not just a title at the end of it. What's in a Name? Why Adding Value Is More Important Than a Job Title Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich. - Sarah Bernhardt One by one they sat down across from me, each allotted 15 minutes to gauge the potential mentoring relationship that could be fostered between us. It was speed dating applied to mentoring. This was my first exposure to anything of the kind. I was nervous, especially being on the mentor side of the table for the first time. We exchanged ideas, personal stories, and goals for close to two hours. I hadn’t talked so much in a long time, and the event left me depleted. It didn’t occur to me until much later how that event mentally affected me. Those bright-eyed early-career youths reoriented my idea about value, and all of it was predicated on a very simple question: “What do you want to do?” What do you want to do? It was the first question I asked all prospective mentees. The first thing that surprised me was how clearly stated the responses were, as though well-rehearsed in front of a mirror. The second was how thematically similar they all were. A typical response went a little something like this: “I want to be in an executive leadership position to make high-level decisions while weighing both engineering and business needs.” Nothing wrong with that response. Surely, if I had been in their position a few years back, that might have been my answer, too. Ambition isn’t a crime after all. It’s actually a great quality as it provides the drive to continuously push forward. But, having been around the professional working environment for a decade, there was something about the finality of those answers that gave me pause. Why didn’t their response give me satisfaction? Why did they all want to be executive leaders right out of the gate? Shifting from gain to growth I thought about this for a few days. Finally, it dawned on me that what I really wanted to hear was someone striving to add value to the team and products we were producing, instead of just a personal end-game outcome. It bothered me that they were so focused on adding an important title to the end of their name -- and that anything short of that would be a disappointment. I would have given my all if someone had responded, “I want to learn as much as I can and be able to contribute meaningfully to the team that’s going to produce the safest, most reliable, and most efficient airplane ever built.” First, this signifies a shift in mindset from focusing on career growth to one of competency growth. I would argue that aspiring to understand the technical aspects of your job, mastering the skills required, and executing the work statement would naturally result in steady or even exponential career growth. However, laying that foundation takes time. But shouldn’t a great leader take the time to truly understand the work before he can make sound decisions that affect such work? This isn’t to say that one should let their career meander about freely. They must guide it, but he or she ought not to let it consume them entirely. Shifting from me to we Second, this refocuses one’s effort from individual career advancement to team success. This is especially important from the employer’s perspective. The business depends on each cog of the machine performing its functions as intended. While your individual career growth is important, it shouldn’t come at the expense of the team or project. There’s a cartoon that speaks to this directly. It depicts a sinking boat. On one end, two guys frantically bail water gushing in from a hole on their side of the boat. On the other end, two guys leisurely watch. One of them offers a delightful observation, “I’m sure glad the hole isn’t in our end.” The point being, if the boat sinks, all four of them will be under water. Helping the team succeed isn’t a detriment to your own growth. There’s no “I” in “team,” as the saying goes. But in fact, it would only bolster your personal success. People tend to gravitate towards individuals on the “winning team.” Add value to your team and you will flourish Finally, the grand idea behind that statement is to add value. If you really think about it, what you do isn’t about you at all. It’s about the people who will consume your products, services, or ideas. You add value when the end user extracts something useful and meaningful out of what you’re offering. Speaking generally, being a director or vice president of a company doesn’t equate necessarily to adding value. A director adds value when he makes sound decisions that lead the company to offer excellent products to its customers. When you continually add value to your company, your career should flourish. I challenge you to think about how you can add value to your team. And if you have a job interview ahead of you, think about how you can help that business satisfy its customers’ needs. That value-adding mindset might be the difference. In the end, this mentoring matching experience redefined my thinking and approach: focus on adding value to your name, not just a title at the end of it.