There's No Overnight Success: The Story of the Maple and the Weeds
The world is filled with people offering success at little to no effort. Don’t be fooled by it. I’ll explain why in this analogy between the maple tree and an army of weeds. There's No Overnight Success: The Story of the Maple and the Weeds It takes 20 years to become an overnight success. - Eddie Cantor The battle carries on in my front lawn. Every year, the slow and steady Japanese maple I planted years ago must compete against the horde of weeds that spring out of nowhere. Though five years old, the maple stretches a measly two-foot tall. It must watch as aggressive weeds surge to its height, threatening to attack with their insidious weeds army. My wife urges me to smite the invaders with my own army of lawn tools; however, I brush off her commands using allergies as my excuse. It works every time. And so, the weed armies make camp on my lawn, but I don’t give it a mind. Because I know that at the end of the season, the hordes will wither and die, whereas my trusty maple would have grown half a foot taller. Its roots would have dug a foot deeper, and its trunk grown stronger and sturdier. Years from now, the maple will tower above the invading hordes. It will blot out the sun and kill my enemies without me lifting a finger. Die, weeds! Die! Okay, this article just took a strange and violent turn. Simply put: I really do hate weeds, and I do really have debilitating allergies. And so I wait for the day my maple will rise and bring me glory. This is a silly story, but it does have an analogy to life and success. The maple sees far Sustained success takes time. The maple tree in the story represents this success. It doesn’t explode onto the scene out of nowhere. In the first two years, it spends all the energy establishing a healthy root system, digging deep into the ground. Then, year after year, it builds onto that strong foundation with durable rungs around its trunk. It grows a fraction of an inch at a time, but each layer is reinforced with the finest fiber. As such, it’s able to withstand the harsh winter. And with each winter that passes, it builds resiliency. Its growth comes from strength and character, having fought off winter’s icy grips. The maple prepares for the long future ahead, not just two seasons in the sun. Just like the maple, your success should be built on a solid foundation. This strength takes time to harness. You need to learn and master the basics. It will take a lot of time and you might be wondering why you can’t skip to the super cool master course. For most things in life, the super cool master techniques are basic moves in complex combinations. If you haven’t mastered the basics, your advanced moves will be superficial at best. When you take time to master your craft, you build experience and resiliency through failures. You learn from them. You learn to spot traps, tricks, and potential problems. You learn to deal with difficulties because your foundation is rock solid. And because of it, you don’t wither at the first sign of trouble. I can’t simply snap a maple tree in half or yank it straight out of the ground. It would require deliberate and extreme effort. And even then, I wouldn’t be able to do it. Shouldn’t your career and life be rooted by a strong foundation like that of the maple tree’s roots? When someone tries to knock you down, you can stand your ground. Take the time to build the foundation. Everything else depends on it. Don’t be like the weed So what about the weed? It certainly has the flare that captivates us, sprouting from nothing and growing exponentially in record time. But beneath that growth is a shallow and weak foundation, one that can be uprooted simply and easily. It doesn’t require much effort to kill a weed. Why, I could simply snap it in two at its base. And since it didn’t take the time to reinforce its limbs, it withers at the first frost. There seems to be many people selling success for next to nothing. They will offer you the easy way. “All you need to do is invest in this company for a 10,000% return in two years,” or “Watch this series of videos and you too could make tens of thousands of dollars influencing others,” or etc. It sounds tempting. Some people do make it. But the success is most oftentimes short-lived. Weeds come and go every year. They flash brightly for a moment then fade away into the abyss. I’d rather take my time to build an empire than to create a fleeting uprising that’s quelled in a moment’s time… and forgotten quickly thereafter. Confronted with a choice, I urge you: take the time to build a strong foundation like the maple tree, and live long and prosperous.
Mind the Comparison Trap: Why Life's Race Is Only Against Yourself
Social media can be a wonderful tool for staying connected. It allows you to catch up with old friends and make new ones. However, it can also be a dismal place for your self-esteem. In this article, I share a time in my life when I was consumed with social media, and with the feelings of inadequacy that came from constantly comparing myself with the way others were portraying their lives. From the experience, I’ll share how I broke free of the comparison trap, and how you can, too.Mind the Comparison Trap: Why Life's Race Is Only Against YourselfI looked at my phone in disdain. What I had hoped for was a short recess from the grind to catch up on the news and the happenings from my circle of friends. It turned into a long and depressing chronicle of self-loathing and discouraging self-sabotage. It wasn’t the bad news. On the contrary, it was the good news and, specifically, the abundance of it that had me in a tizzy. On Facebook, it seemed as though everyone I knew was making excellent progress on his/her dream. The dizzying array of feel-good headlines threw me into an abyss of inadequacy: “I’m so thankful for everyone who believed in me because I just became the new blah blah blah”; “I’m happy to announce that we have launched blah blah blah”; and on it went. I had to escape the bombardment. Unfortunately, Linkedin was my ill-advised choice for the escape route. For within that realm, I realized how many of my colleagues and friends who started at the same time as me have become managers. And while I’d already made the decision long ago to forgo the management path, the sight of everyone else making it there unnerved me. I panicked.I threw the phone and myself on the bed, covered my face with my hands and let go a long sigh. Every piece of someone else’s good news was a dagger to my self-esteem. Where have I been? Have I done nothing? Why is everyone else getting ahead and I’m lagging behind? The questions buzzed around me like a locust swarm.I sank into the comforting embrace of the bed and fell asleep.Giving ourselves credit and painting the path forwardAfter that episode, I gave social media a rest. Over the next few days I went back over my personal timeline and realized that while I was ogling over others’ achievements, I had foolishly devalued my own worth and successes, of which I had many. I came to learn, first, how easy it was to fall into this self-deprecating trap -- to feel stuck in place, anxiously watching your peers wave good-bye as they speed ahead. Second, it became clear to me that I ought to give myself more credit for the incredible journey I’d already taken, and for the stones I've laid for the steps ahead. And lastly, I realized that the path each of us takes is unique to our situation, and that our worth shouldn’t be calculated based on skewed comparisons with others.Behind the scenes of the airbrushed facadeImagine two new drivers embarking on a journey. James is gifted a brand new Tesla Model S by his family; Jessica inherits a ten year-old Honda Civic. They take off from the same starting place, full of excitement and hope for the road ahead. Unfortunately, Jessica’s car breaks down 100 miles down the road. As she struggles to fix the flat tire, James passes her by. While they started together, their path diverge from that point on. Feeling frustrated, Jessica trudges on with one bad tire, resenting her place in the world. But unbeknownst to her, James was pulled over for speeding in a residential zone. After the setback, he cautiously hobbles his way back onto the freeway just as Jessica makes the exit. Their paths cross for a moment and they share their successes so far -- neither mentioned the obstacles they had cleared. This analogy provides a few important lessons: We might all start our journey at the same place, but we’re not similarly geared. Therefore, it is often not fair to compare whether we arrive sooner or later than someone else. Each of our journeys is different. Some might be fraught with difficulties, challenges, and setbacks. Sometimes you get lost in a circuitous route. And sometimes you get lucky and all the lights turn green for a smooth ride. Most times, people don’t share how they arrive at the destination, or talk about all the pain suffered in the process. You might only get the message that they arrived. The point is that you’re not the only one running into potholes, and you never know the full story.Just because someone gets a head start doesn’t mean you can’t catch up. The journey is full of surprises. You might get a helping hand or run into an idea that could change your path completely. So don’t panic. There’s plenty of time and opportunities down the road. The end goal for each of us might be similar, but it is uniquely our own. While it might be a marker for where we want to go, comparing our progress to others might not make much sense. If you want to go to Disneyland, why would you keep track of someone going to Universal Studios? When you feel like you’re not moving as fast as your peers, take a step back and look at your own accomplishments. It’s okay to feel proud of the many trials and tribulations you’ve surmounted. And if you don’t feel like you’ve accomplished much, now is a good time to put your plan for success into motion. Competition is ingrained in cultures all over the world, so it’s difficult to get away from comparing yourself to others. And while it can drive us to improve, it can also cripple our motivation and hope. Because we don’t know where our peers have been or where they might be going, the best bet is to focus on our own path -- do the work to understand our emotions and try to take a step forward every day, no matter how small that step might be.