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When the tragic news of Paul Walker's death surfaced, the world was left in shock. As one of the most beloved stars of the Fast and Furious franchise, his passing was felt deeply by fans around the globe. But perhaps the most devastating impact was felt by his daughter, Meadow Walker, who was left without a father.
When most people consider the perfect crime – academically, or for a work of fiction, of course – they think of one for which there's no way to be caught. Or, if apprehended, they can't be prosecuted. It would require meticulous planning, a complete lack of witnesses or evidence, or a clever legal loophole. Some believe they have found the latter in the Yellowstone Zone of Death.The 50-square-mile area, in the Idaho section of Yellowstone National Park, theoretically provides a safe place to commit a crime. That's because of the U.S. Constitution, and a series of jurisdictional entanglements, first exposed by law professor Brian Kult.RELATED: A Mother and 8-Year-Old Daughter Were Kidnapped for 7 Weeks - Their Escape Was Unbelievable, But Just the BeginningAs far as we know, no one has actually tried to get away with murder in this Zone of Death. Indeed, hardly anyone is even ever there. It isn't named for a slew of heinous crimes, or for a single grisly murder. So why is this place called by that name? Because it just might be the only place in the United States where you can commit the perfect crime.Theoretically, a killer could avoid the law, because in this stretch of land, it may not apply. We’ll talk about the legality of committing crimes in the Zone of Death later. But, first, what and where is this so-called Zone of Death, anyway?What, and Where, Is Yellowstone's Zone of Death?Yellowstone's Zone of Death (Map: Amusing Planet)It’s a sliver of land, really, created by the quirkiness of state borders. The region is 2 miles wide, and 25 miles long, starting below where Idaho, Montana and Wyoming meet. That's roughly 50 square miles, or an area slightly larger than San Francisco.Not a single established road runs through the Zone of Death. One of the few named features on the map is Buffalo Lake, beside which sits a cabin and unmaintained campsite. There are also a few small creeks with uninspired names like Boundary Creek.Long story short, this is wilderness. Which is the point, of course. When Yellowstone National Park was established in 1872, 2.2 million acres was set aside to remain wild. The Legal Loophole: A Constitutional QuestionPhoto by Anthony Garand on UnsplashThe Constitution of the United States is a wonderful document. It has proved strong enough to guide lawmakers and judges for nearly 250 years, while also being flexible enough to remain relevant. It’s far from a perfect document, however. Inevitably, there are situations its Framers could not have foreseen and, thus, are left unaddressed.To understand the problem the Constitution left when it comes to the Yellowstone National Park Zone of Death, read Article III, Section 2: “The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed.”RELATED: How Cynthia Vigil Escaped ‘Toy Box Killer’ David Parker Ray and Ended His Horrific CrimesNote that the Constitution clearly stipulates that crimes must be tried by juries. Now take a look at another bit of language added to the Constitution a few years later.The Sixth Amendment, added in 1791 as part of the Bill of Rights, reads: “In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.” (Italics have been added for emphasis.)Put those together, and you have a legal obligation for a defendant to be tried in the state in which the crime was committed, and by a jury selected from that same "state and district." That leads to a legal loophole. The problem? There are two, actually. First, the Zone of Death lies in Idaho, but the U.S. District Court for the District of Wyoming has legal purview over all of Yellowstone National Park – even those parts that lie in Idaho and Montana.RELATED: Where Is JFK’s Brain? A Mind-Boggling Mystery & Conspiracy Theory, ExplainedSo, that’s problem one. You have an area that is technically under the auspices of two different parts of the government, so which has the actual authority. The second is that the Constitution clearly states juries must be comprised of members of the public that reside in “the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed.” Even assuming legal experts could work out whether the Zone of Death was more properly a concern for the state of Idaho or the federal government, no one lives in that narrow strip of land just across the Idaho border. It would be impossible to select a jury from residents of the region, as there simply are none.And if you can’t be properly tried by a jury for your crimes, then, theoretically, you can’t be tried at all.The Gabby Petito CaseA photo of Gabby Petito, released by her familyHad Gabby Petito’s life ended a few miles northwest of where it did, the history of the Zone of Death may have moved from the academic to the all too real. RELATED: How 17-Year-Old Lisa McVey Saved Her Own Life by Outsmarting the Serial Killer Who Abducted HerPetito was murdered by her fiancé, a Brian Laundrie, in late August 2021, as far as experts can tell. Her body was found in Grand Teton National Park, south of Yellowstone. However, it's fully within Wyoming, and doesn't cross state boundaries, thus freeing it of the legal complications of the Yellowstone Zone of Death.Of course, Laundrie killed himself within two week's of the murder. His body found in a wilderness preserve in Florida, near where the couple had lived. According to the FBI, Laundrie confessed to the murder in a notebook, found near his body.What to Do About Yellowstone's Zone of Death DilemmaPhoto by Dustin Commer on UnsplashIt’s highly unlikely anyone will travel to Yellowstone’s Zone of Death to commit a major crime. And even if they did, jurisdiction might fall to the place where they planned the crime.RELATED: 8-Year-Old Abducted from Her Bed Recalls Vital Details That Helped Solve Her CaseHowever, the Zone of Death loophole has been raised in court, in a crime as relatively mundane as poaching. In 2005, Michael Belderrain illegally shot an elk in Montana, and then attempted to use Kalt's loophole as his 2007 defense. Because he was within Yellowstone when he committed the crime, Belderrain was indicted in the U.S. District for Wyoming. However, he demanded to be tried by jurors from Montana. The court dismissed the Sixth Amendment argument, and Belderrain ultimately took a plea deal. Therefore, the Zone of Death loophole went untested.But Brian Kalt proposes what should be a relatively easy way to clear up the murky matter: Congress can pass a law declaring Idaho’s portion of Yellowstone National Park as part of the U.S. District Court for the District of Idaho. Loophole would then be closed, and Yellowstone's Zone of Death would be no more.Thus far, however, there's been no congressional action on the matter.KEEP READING: Netflix's Devil in Ohio Is Inspired by a True Story - But Which One?
Just as people around the world have embraced Jediism, a philosophy inspired by the Jedi in Star Wars, so, too, have they flocked to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a "religion" based on pure satire.However, that doesn't mean its adherents -- called Pastafarians -- are any less devoted. They simply have their tongues firmly planted in their cheeks.But what is the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and can it truly be considered a religion?How Satire Became Religion: The Origin of the Flying Spaghetti MonsterTouched by His Noodly Appendage, Niklas Jansson's parody of Michelangelo's Creation of AdamIt started in 2005 as a joke, as you might guess from a name like the Flying Spaghetti Monster. More accurately, let's call it an elaborate and humorous critique. "Joke" is simply too dismissive.That's when Oregon resident Bobby Henderson wrote an open letter to the Kansas State Board of Education, in response to its decision to permit the teaching of "intelligent design" in classrooms. (Intelligent design is, basically, a rebranding of creationism.) Although worded in an academic style, Henderson's clearly tongue-in-cheek missive stated that his theory of Intelligent design is that "the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster." Citing "overwhelming scientific evidence" of this belief, Henderson requested his theory be taught in classrooms alongside evolution and intelligent designs.RELATED: Can You Lose Religion But Keep Faith?The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was founded soon after, by Bobby Henderson himself. Or, rather, it emerged into the mainstream "after having existed in secrecy for hundreds of years." At least that's what the church's website says.Adherents flocked to the satirical new religion, chiefly in United States, Western Europe, Australia and New Zealand. Their shared beliefs are spelled out by Bobby Henderson in his 2006 satirical book The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and in a follow-up, The Loose Canon, the Holy Book of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Those beliefs conveniently include that, whenever science contradicts Pastafarian doctrine, it’s because the Flying Spaghetti Monster intended it that way. They also believe “religious texts tell us that humans evolved from Pirates. Consider that so-called 'science experts; would have us believe humans evolved from primates, pointing towards the shared 99% shared DNA between humans and primates. But humans and Pirates share upwards of 99.9% of DNA.” That's why Pastafarians are frequently photographed while wearing pirate regalia.Except, of course, they don’t really believe that. But who can prove what’s in their hearts? And that’s the point. Who is to say it’s not a religion simply because it’s so different from other faiths that receive deference, and even preferential treatment? No one is to say that, according to the framers of the Constitution.What the Courts Have Say About the Flying Spaghetti MonsterA depiction of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, generated by an AI (Photo: Bobby Henderson)Defining what is, and is not, a religion is tricky business on which few courts can seem to agree. Long-established faiths leave little question in legal circles, but what happens when new movements, like Jediism and the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster come along?The First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution states flatly that, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” Nevertheless, a Nebraska court in April 2016 rejected a religious accommodations claim presented by a Pastafarian. The plaintiff, a prison inmate, argued that he was entitled to wear pirate regalia while ministering to fellow prisoners, as well as a "seaworthy vessel," among other claims. The court ultimately sidestepped the question of the validity of the plaintiff's beliefs, but ruled that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn't need to be treated as a "genuine" religion.However, the church has claimed victories elsewhere, even if some of them were subsequently rolled back. Poland granted the group permission in 2014 to apply for official recognition, only to be rejected by the government. New Zealand officially recognized the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in 2015, and permitted clergy to perform weddings. And while an Austrian man was permitted to wear a sacred colander in his driver's license photo, a Dutch court ruled against a similar application, claiming Pastafarianism doe not qualify as a religion.What Does It Take to Become a Pastafarian?Photo by Atie Nabat on UnsplashIf you want to be a Pastafarian, then you already are one. Some religions permit conversion through the heartfelt recitation of a few words. For example, according to many interpretations of Islam, you can convert simply by saying Shahada: "Ash Shadoo an La ilaha illa Allah, Wa Ash Shadoo ana Muhammadan rasoolu Allah.” Or, "I bear witness that there is no true god except God (Allah), and I bear witness that Muhammad is the (Final) Messenger of God." Of course, you have to truly mean it.RELATED: The Difference Between Spirituality and ReligionTo become a follower of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the dogma makes clear that belief is not required. In fact, if you actually believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, then you’d likely be the least-welcome member of the organization. That's because you've missed the point, and exposed yourself as being, say, one meatball short of a full supper.But what does the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster actually say about joining? “So you want to be a Pastafarian? Great. Consider yourself a member. You’ll notice there’s no hoops to jump through. You don’t need to pay anything.”All the the church requires is that you help a bit by “spreading the word." "Tell people about Pastafarianism," the website states. "Point out that we’re the world’s most peaceful mainstream religion, having started no wars in our God’s name. As far as [we] know there are no deaths attributed to our religion.”Want to take it one step further? You can order an official Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Ordination Pack for $49 that includes a certificate of ordination, a card for your wallet, and vinyl decals for your car. And yes, in some places, you can assert your right to officiate things based on your status as an ordained member of the FSM clergy.What Is Pastafarian Heaven?Pastafarian heaven is, unsurprisingly, nothing to take too seriously. According to the church’s own site, “No one knows what the afterlife really holds, but we are told FSM Heaven has a Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.” So if you like literal mountains of beer and an industrial-level output of naked people, then this is the religion for you.Ditto if you really like freedom from being told what to do. That's because, in the end, that’s what the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is really about: illuminating the invasive and controlling ways religion tends to afflict civil society.KEEP READING: Where Is JFK's Brain? A Mind-Boggling Mystery & Conspiracy Theory
What is thalassophobia, and why is it a strangely popular phobia right now? The first part of that question we can handle -- as for why so many people find this phobia so interesting, perhaps it's just that unshakable fascination humans feel for the sea. After all, what we don't know much about tends to frighten us, and fear is, for better or for worse, compelling.But to the phobia.It’s not a fear of sharks. That’s called “galeopghobia” from the Greek word for sharks, which is galeos. It’s not a fear of water itself. That’s called “aquaphobia,” the root word there being more obvious.RELATED: You’ve Seen It All over YouTube and Netflix but What Is ASMR?Thalassophobia is a fear of deep bodies of water. For many, it is specifically a fear of the ocean or the sea, but indeed it can be a fear of lakes, ponds, or even swimming pools. Phobias do not discriminate when it comes to their manifestation, but they can play crippling role in a person’s life, limiting the quality of a person’s very existence. Thus, it’s all the more ironic and unfortunate that, for many people, thalassophobia has become something of a joke, while for others it’s a source of fascination.Anyone living with a genuine phobia of deep bodies of water will tell you it’s no laughing matter at all, and is a source of anxiety, suffering, and limitation, not a mere topic of interest. Fortunately, for this and most phobias, there are steps you can take to mitigate your intense fear of the water. You may even be able to step back into the sea, lake, or pool in time. And at least you can avoid a panic attack at the mere thought of deep water once you have worked on your fears, whether through exposure therapy, with the help of a mental health professional, or by some other methods. We’ll discuss those soon, but first let’s be clear about what a phobia is, anyway.What Constitutes a True Phobia?(Getty)A phobia is not a dislike. It’s not a source of annoyance. It’s not a concern. It’s a source of terror, it’s not rational, and it’s something over which you feel you have no control. According to Johns Hopkins Medicine: “A phobia is an uncontrollable, irrational, and lasting fear of a certain object, situation, or activity. This fear can be so overwhelming that a person may go to great lengths to avoid the source of this fear. One response can be a panic attack. This is a sudden, intense fear that lasts for several minutes. It happens when there is no real danger.”Phobias come in all sorts of varieties – many are officially recognized in the diagnostic and statistical manual (the DSM for short) while others are generally accepted though not specifically noted as anxiety disorders.Arachnophobia is a fear of spiders. Claustrophobia is a fear of confined spaces. Cherophobia is a fear of happiness. The list goes on for a depressingly long time, and a true phobia can’t just be turned off or overcome with positive thinking or willpower.RELATED: Vegan Diet: A Beginners Guide to VeganismSomeone afflicted with a phobia may have their mental health badly impacted by their fear, and they may even experience physical symptoms from it, such as nausea, headaches, shortness of breath, and more. Phobias reduce the quality of life in myriad ways.When it comes to thalassophobia, not only can the fear cause the aforementioned maladies and more, it can also greatly limit what a person can do. Swimming in or boating on the sea or a large lake or the like is almost surely not an option, but for other people with severe thalassophobia, even flying over a large body of water may be impossible, so travel and new experiences are curtailed.What Causes Thalassophobia?(Unsplash)A fear of deep bodies of water can of course be brought on by life experiences. A near drowning, an experiencing of a boating accident (or even a sinking), a sighting of a shark or other unsettling animal – these experiences can all contribute to a fear of deep water.So too can second hand exposure to such things cause thalassophobia. Just consider the effects the Steven Spielberg movie “Jaws” had on thousands of people who developed a potent fear of the water just from seeing the film. Or consider the rather morbid fascination many of us have with stories of sunken ships, most notably the Titanic. Reading about, hearing of, or watching dramatized accounts of fearful marine occurrences can bring on a real fear of the water.RELATED: How Emotional Health and Wellness Can Affect Your Life – And 7 Tips to Improve Them Then there is also plenty of evidence that, for some people, thalassophobia may be a veritably predetermined condition. Some people may perceive vast, open water as a cue to think on the depths of their own soul or psyche. Some people may also have a fear of the unknown, and by its very nature deep water is a vast source of that: we never know what lies beneath the water until we go there, which is very hard for a person with this phobia to do.How to Reduce the Intensity of Your Thalassophobia(Unsplash)There may be no way for you to fully get over a fear of deep water, but with some effort and perhaps with some support, you can likely reduce your fears to the point to where they will not consume or control you.With anything that negatively affects your mental health, it’s always a good idea to consider support from a professional. Cognitive behavioral therapy may help, as may medication if your anxiety is acute and persistent enough. You can also consider things like mindful meditation, calming breathing exercises, and more.If you are considering an exposure therapy approach to dealing with your thalassophobia, start small. This can mean watching movies or reading books that will expose you to deep, open water in an imagined way, to talking about the source of your fear with others, or even via virtual reality exposure.Next, you can try swimming in a pool before you go near the beach. You can visit an aquarium to see marine life in a safe environment. And you can stroll on the dock before you board a boat.And then also consider this: it’s OK to be afraid of deep water, you can just avoid it. Assuming your fear is not so intense you could not even fly over the ocean in a plane, then it may be best to work mindfully toward accepting your fear and calming its intensity by simply avoiding its source. If you know you’ll never be in the open ocean or upon a vast lake, you don’t have to worry about it that much.KEEP READING:TikTok’s Most Dangerous Trick May Be Killing Your Happiness – But There Is A Cure
Feeling ground down by the grind? You’re not the only one. A recent Samsonite survey of 800 U.S. adults conducted by The Harris Poll found that 65 percent of Americans say they urgently need a vacation from work, while 56 percent are experiencing burnout at their current job. With more than half of Americans struggling to keep up with the can’t-stop, won’t-stop mentality, it’s worth considering: Is the grind of hustle culture really worth it?RELATED: Is Stress Ruining Your Life? If You Don't Understand How It Operates, You'll Never Defeat ItIf you’re aching to slow down and step off the hustle-culture assembly line, these inspiring reads will help you to embrace the art of not-doing so you can take back your time and energy. How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention EconomyPhoto by Camilo Jimenez on UnsplashIn How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy, an ode to the virtues of, well, doing nothing, writer and artist Jenny Odell brings the reader into her world, where attention leads to wonder, renewal and depth of feeling. Joining anecdotes from her Bay Area life with powerful literary and historical references, Odell makes a strong case for resisting the lure of addictive technology that’s designed to profit from ever-shortening attention spans.RELATED: Here's Why Workplace Gratitude Enhances Performance and Reduces StressThe beauty in Odell’s narrative is that it doesn’t rail against the ethos of productivity, social relevance and constant on-ness. Instead, it vividly paints a picture of how paying deep attention can enrich life, inspire action and, ultimately, make our experiences more meaningful. Not only that, but Odell’s advice is practical and realistic for each of us trying to resist hustle culture. That is, it doesn’t require that we abandon technology or modern conveniences -- only that we slow down enough to pay attention to the magic already happening. Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult TimesWhether the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or a sudden layoff, life is full of unforeseen circumstances. Luckily, Katherine May's Wintering: The Power or Rest and Retreat in Difficult Time, offers a fresh, compassionate approach to navigating those ups and downs without muscling your way through or stuffing down your feelings. RELATED: 3 Signs Stress Is Hurting Your Relationship - and How to Deal With ThemInstead, May shares personal stories of illness and family difficulty that give the reader permission to be deeply human. She draws on lessons from renowned authors, myth and the natural world to illustrate that weathering the deep throes of pain and upheaval may best be done with committed acceptance rather than frustrated resistance.Guiding readers to embrace sadness by leaning into the desire to rest, retreat and regroup, May offers a refreshing approach to the typical “grin and bear it” mantra. The book is ultimately a testament to the transformative power of difficulty and the possibility of something new. Rest Is Resistance: A ManifestoPhoto by Godisable Jacob from PexelsGive me your tired, your hungry, your sleep-deprived masses. Tricia Hersey, aka the Nap Bishop, is ready to kick capitalism to the curb with Rest Is Resistance, A Manifesto, a compelling and practical blend of storytelling and real-world guidance. The ultimate message? Our worth isn’t dictated by how much we produce for an exploitative and dehumanizing system. RELATED: How to Fall Asleep Fast (and Stay Asleep Longer, Too)Drawing on Black liberation, somatics and Afrofuturism, Hersey’s manifesto is a poignant and lyrical call to action for everyone who longs to be freed from the injustice of the hustle and reclaim their power through rest.Hersey argues rest is a profound act of resistance that challenges the same market logic that justified the enslavement of millions of people. In other words, rest is the way of liberation.Home BodyYou may have heard of Canadian poet Rupi Kaur’s 2022 release, Healing Through Words. But her third poetry collection, Home Body, is an equally honest and uplifting treatise celebrating love, community and self-acceptance. With the support of themes like embracing the body, arriving home, nurturing the soul and looking to nature for inspiration, Kaur’s work invites the reader to settle into a slower pace and savor the taste and nuance of each piece, whether read one at a time or all together.Her writing has a simple, stream-of-consciousness feel that makes it both relatable and intimate. The rich imagery, paired with Kaur’s trademark vulnerability, makes it difficult not to fall in love with her words.The Ruthless Elimination of HurryPhoto by Braxton Apana on UnsplashWith The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, Pastor John Mark Comer tells the story of a life that was, by all accounts, a success, but that left him struggling inside. After a trusted mentor advises him that, “Hurry is the great enemy of the spiritual life,” Comer goes on a journey to ruthlessly eliminate all forms of rushing from his way of being. RELATED: 3 Game-Changing Workplace Stressors You Can Cut Right NowDiving into the "why" behind this phenomenon, Comer provides a how-to from his personal experience to stop treating the symptoms of the modern malaise. Instead, go straight to the root by slowing the heck down, and resisting hustle culture.Comer argues that emotional health and spiritual vitality naturally arise when we choose not to join in the chaos of modern living. You know, hustle culture.Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work LessSilicon Valley business consultant Alex Soojung Pang might be an unlikely candidate to write about rest. However, his rigorous research, combined with colorful anecdotes, makes a strong case that rest is exactly what we need. RELATED: Side Hustle Ideas to Make Money or Start a Passion ProjectIn Rest: Why You Get More When You Work Less, Pang argues rest is actually the key to productivity, not the enemy of it. He points to the returns in energy, mental acuity, and overall life satisfaction. Instead of idle escapism or mindless scrolling, Pang argues for “deliberate rest,” a kind of intentional relaxation that replenishes the body, mind and spirit so you can get up and do it all again. If you’re inspired by stories by great artists and thinkers, like Charles Darwin and Stephen King, you’ll love this well-researched guide to the logic of relaxation. Pause, Rest, Be: Stillness Practices for Courage in Times of ChangePhoto by cottonbro from PexelsActivist and yoga teacher Octavia F. Raheem's Pause, Rest, Be offers a refreshing and needed invitation to stop pushing your way through life and to instead honor whatever arises. Through rest and reflection, Raheem shows the way to embrace change without burning out, and to navigate life’s challenges while staying connected and clear. With highly actionable practices, from yoga poses and mindful reflections, Raheem leads the way to experiencing life with grace — by staying present, open and connected through the power of stillness. Tired as F*ck: Burnout at the Hands of Diet, Self-Help, and Hustle CultureRevealing the shadow side of the self-help world, Caroline Dooner reflects in Tired as F*ck on her experiences with diet culture and navigating anxiety with wit, humor, and just a little bit of profanity. In so doing, Dooner gives us permission to simply say no to all the things that make us feel less than, overwhelmed, and like we are never quite enough. RELATED: Train Your Brain to Shed Distracting Habits and Concentrate BetterFrom spiritual ultimatums to cult-like self-improvement practices, Dooner shares her attempts at becoming “better” — and the eventual realization that she’s perfectly fine the way she is.The message is ultimately one of relief, as Dooner calls for a revision of toxic wellness messaging, and instead emphasizes the virtues of doing less, embracing our humanity, and simply letting go of the need to improve. How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and OrganizingPhoto by Andrea Piacquadio from PexelIf you’ve ever struggled with stress, anxiety, ADHD, fatigue or depression (read: being human), therapist KC Davis will be a breath of fresh air. In How to Keep House While Drowning, she offers the relatable, intimate story of her own challenges of giving birth to her second child, and suddenly feeling like she could never keep up, to the point she didn’t fold laundry for seven months. What seemed like a breakdown eventually led Davis to realize that her moral worth isn’t defined by how messy her house is — and neither is yours. Reframing piles of dishes as signs of a well-fed, nourished family, Davis’ outlook can help you free yourself from the pressure and shame so often associated with a disheveled home.Both in the book and on her popular TikTok account, @domesticblisters, Davis also offers practical tips for prioritizing what needs to be done, staggering tasks to tackle procrastination, and employing creative shortcuts to get things functioning again. In short, she will help you turn your home into the sanctuary you deserve while also cutting yourself a break for that mess you’re just not ready to clean up yet. KEEP READING: Are You Failing? You May Be Obsessing Over Details and Using the Wrong Approach
On June 6th, 1944, allied troops stormed the beaches of Normandy, France, and soon secured a foothold on the European continent that would see them push back and, with support of the Soviets coming eastward, defeat Nazi Germany. The success of the landings was hardly certain, and knowing failure was a possibility, on the eve of the attack, the Supreme Commander of the allied forces, General Dwight Eisenhower, drafted a brief but profound letter. Per Business Insider, it read, in full:“Our landings in the Cherbourg-Havre area have failed to gain a satisfactory foothold and I have withdrawn the troops. My decision to attack at this time and place was based upon the best information available. The troops, the air and the Navy did all that Bravery and devotion to duty could do. If any blame or fault attaches to the attempt it is mine alone."RELATED: Serena Williams Proves You Don’t Have To Change Anything About Yourself To Find LoveIn that pithy 65-word note, Eisenhower fully accepted the realities of the situation, made no excuses, and took the blame. Fortunately for him and for all of humanity, it was never needed and, for many years, was unknown. Earlier this week, Braden Wallake, the CEO of a business-to-business marketing agency called HyperSocial, made a different sort of letter very public indeed when he posted it to the work-centric social media platform LinkedIn. Also, unlike Gen. Eisenhower, Wallake also made public a picture of himself that would immediately have him dubbed the Crying CEO.What Was the Crying CEO’s Letter About?(Braden Wallake IG)The emotional letter and accompanying image Wallake’s tear-streaked face were a result of several layoff’s the executive had been recently compelled to make.Per The Independent, the letter read in part: “This will be the most vulnerable thing I’ll ever share. I’ve gone back and forth whether to post this or not. We just had to layoff [sic] a few of our employees. I’ve seen a lot of layoffs over the last few weeks on LinkedIn. Most of those are due to the economy, or whatever other reason. Ours? My fault.”RELATED: 16 Jordan Peele Quotes on Creativity and DiversitySo Wallake does take the blame, as per the vaunted WWII general, but right out of the gate he made the post about himself, not about the now jobless former workers. He then went on to semi-deflect some of the blame for the firings, writing: “I made a decision in February and stuck with that decision for far too long. Now, I know my team will say that ‘we made that decision together,’ but I lead us into it. And because of those failings, I had to do today, the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do.”The CEO goes on to, in as many words, declare that he has a good heart and does not care only about money and wished there were anything else he could have done, and in saying all these things and in sharing the emotional image, he sealed his fate as a lightning rod for mockery and ridicule.Was Brandon Wallake Virtue Signaling?(Braden Wallake IG)Within hours, the Crying CEO post had gone viral and it has now received tens of thousands of comments. Some support the ostensibly shaken CEO, but most deride him, with posters saying he is being narcissistic, self-absorbed, tone deaf, and that he is virtue signalling, which is described by Oxford Languages as: “The action or practice of publicly expressing opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one's good character or the moral correctness of one's position on a particular issue.”Here’s the thing: taken objectively, this man’s words seem genuine, and he has even received support and praise from one of the former HyperSocial employees so recently laid off. The issue is not how the CEO felt or how emotionally fraught the move was for him, how and where he chose to speak about it all.Perhaps a better approach, assuming Mr. Wallake’s sentiments were entirely genuine – and we are taking him at his word – would have been to share them only with his employees, both those who were let go and those who remained. Had his picture and post still made it into the public eye, shared out by someone else instead of by Wallake himself, perhaps he would have been met with an outpouring of support instead of all the derision.The very public nature of the Crying CEO post and its subsequent backlash can serve as a warning for others who are struggling to find a balance between authenticity and professionalism. The lesson here may well be to go ahead and express your true emotions – CEOs and other top-level executives are still human beings, after all – but to pick your forum carefully, and to try not to make the forum the latter-day equivalent of the public square.KEEP READING:Beanie Feldstein’s Powerful Response After Being Fired from Funny Girl
Despite airing its finale 14 years ago, Nickelodeon's Avatar: The Last Airbender remains one of the most beloved animated series of our time. And that shouldn't be surprising: The coming-of-age fantasy is action-packed and well-written, and pulls from Eastern philosophy to deliver insightful lessons and themes, and its share of memorable Avatar quotes.Avatar: The Last Airbender is set in an Asian-inspired world in which some people, known as benders, can manipulate the classical elements: water, earth, fire and air. However, only one person, known as the Avatar, can control all four elements, and bring peace to a war-torn world. However, the current incarnation of the Avatar is a 12-year-old boy named Aang -- the last survivor of the Air Nomads -- who has a long way to go before he can master all four elements.RELATED: The Best Quotes from Uncle Iroh and His Love of TeaIn addition to Aang and his friends, one of the series' big draws is Uncle Iroh, a beloved source of wisdom and wry comedy. Entire articles have been written about the pearls of wisdom he shares with his nephew, Zuko. However, Iroh isn't the only one who doles out life lessons. Each character shares insights, some of which could actually change a person's life."You must never give in to despair."Zuko and Uncle Iron in the Avatar: The :Last Airbender episode "Avatar Day"This nugget of wisdom comes in Season 2, Episode 5, "Avatar Day." While the heroes try to solve a centuries-old mystery to clear Aang's name, Zuko and Iroh encounter setbacks on their journey.When Zuko proclaims their situation is hopeless, Iroh responds with one of the more memorable Avatar quotes: "No, Zuko! You must never give in to despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength."RELATED: The Best Schitt's Creek Quotes and SayingsRemaining optimistic isn't always possible in difficult circumstances, but holding on to hope is always an option. Viewers got the chance to consider this definition of "inner strength" for themselves, and hopefully remember it during their own tough times."Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source."Zuko and Uncle Iron in the Avatar: The :Last Airbender episode "Bitter Work"Season 2, Episode 9, "Bitter Work," presents parallel stories. While Aang struggles to master earthbending, Zuko learns how to (theoretically) manipulate lightning. After Zuko tries, and fails, to produce lightning, Iroh tells his nephew he must release his feelings of shame if he ever expects to master the technique.Zuko asserts he can't be ashamed, because he's as proud as ever. And then Iroh drops one of the insightful Avatar quotes: "Prince Zuko, pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame."That was, undoubtedly, a new perspective for some viewers. Seeing pride and shame as two sides of the same coin helps us to understand our negative emotions - and, better yet, howful A to remedy them. "It is important to draw wisdom from different places."Zuko in the Avatar: The Last Airbender episode "Bitter Work"Zuko continues his firebending training throughout Avatar: The Last Airbender, but it isn't until Season 2, Episode 9, that he's ready to hear Iroh's philosophy. As he begins the lesson, Iroh lists the better qualities of the four elements. "It is important to draw wisdom from many different places," he says. "If you take it from only one place, it become rigid and stale. Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations, will help you become whole."While none of us are manipulating the elements (unfortunately), we are on our own learning journeys. It can be easy to get stuck in a rut, and take information only from familiar sources. However, branching out and listening to what other sources have to say is crucial to our evolution."I know sometimes it hurts more to hope, and it hurts more to care."Katara and Aang in the Avatar: The Last Airbender episode "The Serpent's Pass"By Season 2, Episode 12, "The Serpent's Pass," the heroes of Avatar are in dire straights. While in the desert, they lost their sky bison, Appa, a beloved member of their party and their main mode of transportation. That leads Aang to set off on an unusually angry hunt for his furry friend. When that fails, Aang loses control of his power as the Avatar, until Katara calms him down.In "The Serpent's Pass," Aang is oddly emotionless for most of a difficult journey. When Katara asks him about that at the end of the episode, he explains he doesn't want to lose control again.RELATED: How Marvel's Most Powerful Captain America Quotes Can Help You Save the World"But now you're not letting yourself feel anything," Katara replies. "I know sometimes it hurts more to hope, and it hurts more to care, but you have to promise me that you won't stop caring."Especially with the rise of social media, it's easy for compassion fatigue to set in. But becoming numb to what feels like an inundation of problems isn't the answer. It's vital to find balance, and a way to continue to care."Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not."Zuko and Uncle Iroh in the Avatar: The Last Airbender episode "City Walls and Secrets"In Avatar Season 2, Episode 14, "City of Walls and Secrets," Zuko and Iroh try to survive as newly arrived refugees in the Earth Kingdom city of Ba Sing Se. Iroh attempts to settle in, going so far as to suggest decorating their apartment in case Zuko brings home a date.Zuko insists he doesn't plan to build a life in Ba Sing Se, to which Iroh responds with one of his signature Avatar quotes: "Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not."It can be easy to wish life were different, or to wait for better circumstances. But Uncle Iroh reminds us that, regardless of the situation, there is joy to be found and a life to be led."Creativity, versatility, intelligence."Sokka in the Avatar: The Last Airbender episode "Sokka's Master"Throughout Avatar: The Last Airbender, Sokka is often the odd man out in fights. He's the only non-bender in the group traveling with the Avatar, and, as such, is often sidelined while the others perform fantastic feats. Despite already being the "idea guy" of the group, in Season 3, Episode 4, "Sokka's Master," Sokka decides he wants to bring more to the table. So, he takes up a non-bending fighting style, the way of the sword.RELATED: Superman's Most Inspirational Quotes That Prove He's a "Man of Tomorrow"After his training is complete, Master Piandao muses on what made Sokka a good pupil: "it wasn't your skills that impressed me. No, it certainly wasn't your skills. You showed something beyond that... creativity, versatility, intelligence. These are the traits that define a great swordsman. And these are the traits that define you."Like Sokka, it's important we don't measure ourselves against others. We all have unique strengths and weaknesses; what matters is how we use our strengths to help others."There's water in places you never think about."Hama and Katara in the Avatar: The Last Airbender episode "The Puppetmaster"Hama is a waterbender that shows up for only one episode, Season 3's "The Puppetmaster." While the Avatar gang investigates strange disappearances in a Fire Nation town, Hama teaches Katara to find water to bend in new places, such as in plants or from the air itself."You've got to keep an open mind, Katara," Hama advises. "There's water in places you never think about."While this certainly ranks among the most ominous Avatar quotes, given the episode's sinister twist, Hama makes a good point. As we work toward our goals, there are opportunities and allies all around us. We just have to be creative enough to notice them."They don't see our greatness. They hate us, and we deserve it."Zuko in the Avata: The Last Airbender episode "Day of the Black Sun, Part 2"Of all of the characters in Avatar, Zuko goes through the most dramatic transformation. He begins as an angry, exiled Fire Nation prince hellbent on capturing the Avatar and finally gaining the approval of his (evil) father. But over the course of the series, he learns to question what he's been taught, and comes to realize what he truly wants in life.That culminates in Season 3, Episode 11, "Day of the Black Sun, Part 2" when Zuko confronts his father, Fire Lord Ozai, and makes an insightful point about Fire Nation propaganda.RELATED: 11 Stranger Things Quotes to Turn Your Life Upside Down"Growing up, we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history," Zuko says, "and somehow, the war was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don't see our greatness. They hate us, and we deserve it."Fans were quick to pick up on parallels between the Fire Nation and the United States, especially during the "War on Terror.""You must look within yourself to save yourself from your other self."Zuko in the Avatar: The Last Airbender episode "The Western Air Temple"This Avatar quote is a bit goofy, but it's also surprisingly deep, upon further analysis. By Season 3, Episode 12, "The Western Air Temple," Zuko has cut ties with his father, the Fire Lord, and attempts to join the Avatar and his allies on their mission to end the war.Having spent the better part of a year pursuing the Avatar, Zuko isn't received well, at least at first. Trying to think of what to do, he imagines what Iroh would tell him.RELATED: The Most Motivational Star Wars Quotes from a Galaxy Far, Far Away"Zuko, you have to look within yourself to save yourself from your other self," he says, delivering one of the most delightfully confusing Avatar quotes. "Only then will your true self reveal itself."Zuko admits he doesn't really understand what that means, but he's actually on to something. It's important to be introspective. We all have qualities that we might not like -- anger, resentments, insecurities. But if they're left unexamined, they can grow into larger problems."You have to try every time."Zuko and Sokka in the Avatar: The Last Airbender episode "The Boiling Rock"After finally joining the Avatar and his allies, Zuko goes with Sokka in the Season 3 episode "The Boiling Rock" to free Sokka and Katara's father from a Fire Nation prison. The mission is filled with obstacles, but Zuko encourages Sokka by saying, "You have to try every time. You can't quit because you're afraid you might fail."Failure is inevitable. At some point, we all fail at something. But letting a fear of failure stop you from trying is the greatest failure of all. There's a small victory in the attempt of something challenging. And it's in the trying that the lessons are learned.: KEEP READING: 25 Mister Rogers Quotes That Are Words of Wisdom for All Ages
Not all books stand the test of time. Which is good news for contemporary writers striving to publish new work, but sadly means that, at some point, many books from decades (and centuries) past will simply cease to be read.That’s unlikely to ever be the case with the 7 books we’re discussing today, though, for these books have reached the centennial mark and are still going strong. Each of the books we’ll discuss today shares the trait of being 100 years old but, more to the point, each remains a compelling read; one that will still inspire, teach, and move the modern reader just as it moved readers 10 decades ago.RELATED: What the Frozen Movies Teach Us About Living With Mental IllnessNow, for the record, we’re not calling these books “timeless.” That’s a word we reserve for novels like “Anna Karenina” or “The Count of Montecristo” or “A Tale of Two Cities.” Yes, those are great books that are enjoyable to read, and they are timeless because their stories and characters will always be compelling. But they work so well because they transport us to their time, not because they still feel fresh.The books featured here have something different going on; beyond compelling stories and fully realized characters, they retain the ability to surprise, inspire, and inform their reader every bit as much today as they did in the 1920s. They may be old books, objectively speaking, but they still resonate – or, in the parlance of our times, these old books still smack.Why Some Books Stay Fresh, While Others Go Stale(Photo by Kimberly Farmer on Unsplash)Why do some older books not resonate in the same way? There can be many factors. First and foremost, sometimes a book just feels outdated. Perhaps the language the author uses – especially in dialogue – is so unlike the manner of speaking to which you are accustomed that you can’t fully connect with the book, a good story aside. (Mary Shelley’s classic “Frankenstein” suffers thus.)At other times, the subject matter and story of an older book may simply not grab your attention; the goings on in Jane Austen’s “Northanger Abbey” may have captivated Georgian era attention, but might just not move a 21st Century reader.RELATED: What Happened to Taylor Lautner? The Twilight Heartthrob Who Disappeared OvernightAnd then there is the fact that, based on social mores and actual censorship, writers were limited in what they could say in centuries past. You can feel Flaubert pushing up against the boundaries of accepted sensuality and sexuality in his many fine novels, and one can only imagine what he might have written had he been born in 1921 instead of 1821.Now, none of that’s to say you can’t enjoy any older book, but it can be harder to identify with books that feel dated. That's not going to happen with these, though.Ulysses by James Joyce – Published 1922(Getty)“Ulysses” is considered by many people to be one of the greatest novels of the 20th century; indeed, many hail it as one of the best novels of all modern novels, meaning – though loosely – books of fiction written in the latter half of the 1800s and thereafter. Published in serial form between 1918 and 1920 and as a complete novel in 1922, this book has been thrilling and frustrating people ever since. RELATED: Who Was The REAL Dr. Seuss – And Is His Legacy Positive… Or Problematic?In its protagonist, Leopold Bloom, you can see much of yourself no matter where you are in life, your hopes and fears, or even your particular mood that day; Joyce managed to create a universality in Bloom that was no accident; indeed, it was a great feat he pulled off in modeling Leopold Bloom off that other universal hero, Odysseus, AKA Ulysses.The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald – Published 1925(Getty)Yes, you likely read this book in high school, but no, you probably didn’t fully “get it.” So, give it another go. Fitzgerald’s book is generally considered to be a perfect snapshot of upper-class society life in the 1920s – this narrow interpretation misses the point. RELATED: 20 Game of Thrones Quotes that Will Give You Chills“The Great Gatsby” is actually a perfect snapshot of human frailty, yearning, connection, and fallings out. As you observe the world of “Gatsby” through Nick Carraway’s eyes, you will experience the unmasking of human artifice along with him, and you’ll find yourself bringing his keen perspective to everyday life beyond the book.The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway – Published 1926(Getty)Hemingway’s breakout book is about a group of young people whose lives are largely defined by the recent horrors of World War I, but it could just as well be about a group of friends and romantic partners who had been afflicted by by Iraq or Afghanistan.RELATED: Marvel’s Biggest MCU Stars Joined Forces to Make a Dying Boy’s Last Wish Come TrueIts protagonist, Jake Barnes, suffered a physical injury that defines his life, but anyone carrying any burden, be it of the body or the mind, will feel along with him.To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf – Published 1927(Getty)Anyone who has ever been a part of a family will identify with this book, which only reads better and better as your life evolves. RELATED: Ewan McGregor’s Response to Racist Star Wars Trolls Attacking Moses Ingram Was Powerful – But SadYou can read it from the perspective of a child (an adult son or daughter included) judging a parent, as a parent exasperated over the kids, or as a spouse who’s not quite sure what to make of their partner. The Weary Blues by Langston Hughes – Published 1926(Getty)You can literally hear the jazz as you read Langston Hughes’ sublime poetry in this, his first and arguably his finest collection of poems, “The Weary Blues.” His mastery of the English language allowed Hughes to lay out the Black experience in America in a way at once beautiful and raw, and from which the reader cannot turn away. RELATED: ‘She’s White. Is That OK?’ – Couple Adopts Abandoned Girl Despite Race StereotypesHe manages to be at once warm and welcoming yet to point the finger. Sadly, the poems still resonate so well only partially because of how well they are written, but also because there is still so much progress yet to be made in American society even a century later.Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence – Published 1928(Getty)In “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” D.H. Lawrence blew the lid off “polite” society. The book is packed with raw sexuality, coarse language, and a breaking down of barriers that was so shocking in its day that the unabridged, uncensored text was not published in the author’s native UK until 1960. RELATED: Superman’s Most Inspirational Quotes That Prove He Really Is a ‘Man of Tomorrow’Today, in a society fully accustomed to the lewd, bawdy, and coarse, the book reads as simply what it is: a masterfully written story with moving, relatable characters.The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner – Published 1929(Getty)“The Sound and the Fury” is, like most of Faulkner’s rich, dense, flowing novels, a hard read. But it is also as rewarding a read now as it was in the 1920s. It is one story told four ways, with different details – not all of which are reliable – revealed in each recounting. The best way to read this book is to finish it and then immediately re-read the whole thing. In so doing, you will get the full picture of the sorrows and travails of the Compson family and, in so doing, you will spend a good amount of time as close as possible to being inside another person’s mind. That’s an experience that will move you in the 2020s or the 2120s or beyond.KEEP READING:3 Lessons Harry Potter Taught Us About Life
Starring Sandra Bullock as Leigh Anne Tuohy and Quinton Aaron as Michael Oher, the Oscar-nominated 2009 film The Blind Side was a box-office success, earning more than $300 million worldwide. To this day, it ranks among the most beloved sports dramas. But did you know it’s based on real people?RELATED: What Sandra Bullock’s Relationship With Bryan Randall Tells Us About Second ChancesThe film is based Michael Lewis’ 2006 book The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game, which recounted the life of NFL player Michael Oher, from impoverished childhood to his adoption by the Tuohy family to his first year of college football. As with most any adaptation, there were some discrepancies between director John Lee Hancock's film and Oher’s actual experiences.So, what's the real story of The Blind Side, and how accurate was the film in translating Oher’s triumphs and hardships?Real Life Vs. Film: How Accurate Is The Blind Side?Oher played in the NFL for eight seasons, before retiring in 2017. In that time, he won a Super Bowl championship with the Baltimore Ravens, and came in second in voting for The Associated Press’ Offense Rookie of the Year. When reflecting on Oher's achievements, it’s impossible not to look to the events in The Blind Side.Oher’s tragic early life was, unfortunately, true. His birth mother struggled with cocaine addiction, and father wasn’t present in his life. “When my mother was off drugs and working, she would remember to buy groceries,” recalled Oher, one of 12 children, “and there would be a mad scramble to grab whatever you could before anyone else got to it.”RELATED: NFL Star Inspires Boys Beyond the Football Field, Teaches Us to Use Our Gifts to Help OthersThe film portrayed Oher as nearly homeless when the Tuohys met him. In reality, Oher was couch-surfing, staying with classmates and foster families. And while he had his share of academic problems, The Blind Side wasn’t entirely factual in its depiction of his high school life. In the film, Oher didn’t have any particular interests before he met the Tuohys; he's characterized as a lonely student who wasn't involved in athletics. However, the truth is, Oher played three sports: basketball, track and field, and football.A local athletic program director, Tony Henderson, was among those who took Oher into their homes. “He wasn’t no trouble kid, nothing like that, you know?” Henderson told ABC News. “He was real quiet, you know, and just stayed to himself.” That description of the real Oher is what we saw onscreen, which is one element Hancock was sure to get right.RELATED: How This Former College Football Player Turned his Life Around After a Severe Knee InjuryMeanwhile, S.J. Tuohy (played by Jae Head) wasn't the one who struck up a friendship with Oher, as the film suggests. It was actually father Sean Tuohy (Tim McGraw) who noticed him from the sidelines of the gym. That may seem like an insignificant detail, but when we’re talking about the pivotal moment in which the Tuohys intervened in Oher’s life, getting it right feels necessary.What the Real Michael Oher Said About The Blind SideThe real Michael Oher, with the Tuohy family, in 2016Oher’s 2014 memoir, I Beat the Odds, further addresses his views on The Blind Side. "I felt like it portrayed me as dumb,” Oher wrote, “instead of as a kid who had never had consistent academic instruction and ended up thriving once he got it.” Oher was frustrated by that, and felt the film didn't do him justice.The issue wasn’t only about his intelligence, but also his athletic abilities. As previously noted, Oher had been playing three sports at the time the Tuohys took him in, something omitted by the film. His supposed lack of athletic knowledge became a focal point of The Blind Side, as S.J. and Leigh Anne tried to teach him football. That was something the real Oher couldn't get past. “Quinton Aaron did a great job acting the part," Oher wrote in I Beat the Odds, "but I could not figure out why the director chose to show me as someone who had to be taught the game of football. Whether it was S.J. moving around ketchup bottles or Leigh Anne explaining to me what blocking is about, I watched those scene thinking, ‘No, that’s not me at all! I’ve been studying – really studying – the game since I was a kid!’ That was my main hang-up with the film.”The way Hancock trivializes Oher’s character is certainly a questionable choice. Rather than acknowledging what Oher knew, the filmmaker overemphasized his weaknesses. That decision may have been made for the sake of a compelling story, but unlike other movies, The Blind Side is based on someone’s life. It requires an amount of sensitivity that Hancock didn’t seem to possess. The movie fails to represent is Oher’s intelligence, and instead credits his success to the Tuohys. However, Oher simply needed more support than he was getting. The Tuohys didn't make Oher smarter, but, rather, allowed him to express that intelligence with the help of additional resources.The Blind Side Shows the True Power of KindnessAbove all, The Blind Side shows the power of a good deed. What began as a family taking in a boy who needed a place to stay turned into an addition to the family. If the Tuohys hadn’t come into Oher’s life and given him the love that he lacked, he may not have had the same opportunities. Not because he wasn’t capable, but because there’s a power and comfort in being loved and supported.RELATED: Black Couple Adopts a White Child – Shows Everyone What It Means to Be FamilyOne good deed can change the course of someone’s life. The way that Oher and the Tuohys' lives merged fulfilled them both. “When I moved in with Leigh Anne and Sean, I felt loved, like part of a family,” wrote Oher, who went on to found the Oher Foundation, dedicated to providing underprivileged children with a pathway to success. “In the other houses, I didn’t feel like part of the family. I didn’t feel like they wanted me there.”A single act of kindness can create a domino effect. It can influence others to do the same, and inspire hope. The Blind Side isn’t merely a sports drama, or a story about a rich family giving a poor boy a chance at life. It’s about children needing love, family, and support to grow into themselves and thrive. The movie may have gotten some things wrong, but the ultimate message is just as powerful. KEEP READING: Football Coach Finds Out Star Player’s Secret – Steps In With Best Response After Hearing His Story
The Marvel Cinematic Universe is among the most successful media franchises of all time. Avengers: Endgame earned $2.8 billion worldwide, surpassing Titanic to become the second-highest grossing film in history, behind only Avatar. With such a large and devoted fan base comes a huge opportunity to present positive messaging to its audience - in particular, with the way the MCU's male heroes embody a healthy view of manhood.RELATED: KYLE, the Rapper and Actor Fighting Toxic MasculinityThe media we consume affects the way we view the world, and ourselves. That can be a good thing, when a piece of popular media has healthy messaging. But it can just as easily be harmful. One prime example is the traditional depiction of masculinity in Western cinema.How Masculinity Was Depicted in Film in the Early 21st CenturyHalle Berry and Pierce Brosnan in Die Another Day (2002)When thinking about paragons of manliness, those cinematic icons that men in real life wish they could be, what character comes to mind? A popular answer in previous decades (and maybe even today) would be James Bond. Agent 007 is portrayed, in all of his iterations, as the ultimate man.That's particularly dangerous, because Bond is a terrible role model. For one thing, he doesn't seem to have any friends. The closest he comes is his allies in the espionage world, who are always two steps behind him. He always has the last quip; he's never shown to be outwitted or outdone by anyone.Bond's relationships with women are overtly sexual, overtly violent, or else in a service role, such as in the case of Ms. Moneypenny. He also tends to solve his problems with violence.Since the 1960s, Bond has served as a blueprint for the cinematic action hero. That's a problem, because Bond exhibits all of the traits of what academics call toxic masculinity.What Is Toxic Masculinity - and Why Is It Harmful?Despite its name, toxic masculinity isn't the idea that masculinity, in itself, is toxic. It's a term used to describe the often-harmful norms of society that dictate how men should behave. It's a collection of ingrained beliefs about manhood that harms not only men, but society as a whole.One example is the assumption that "real men" should be dominant. That's obviously harmful, because it encourages men to dominate interactions with others, while discouraging boys and men from leaning on their friends and loved ones in difficult situations.RELATED: Marvel Finally Revealed a Superhero as Queer in Thor: Love and Thunder - And That's CrucialA lot of toxic masculine traits center around this idea of avoiding the perception of weakness, here defined as being emotionally vulnerable. Unsurprisingly, homophobia and misogyny are natural byproducts of toxic masculinity.Despite how harmful it can be, toxic masculinity is still promoted in a lot of mainstream media. That's why Marvel's depictions of manhood - with all of its complexities, flaws and vulnerabilities - are so refreshing.How Captain America Subverts the Definition of ManhoodCaptain America is a great example of healthy masculinity in cinema.Steve Rogers, portrayed by Chris Evans in 11 Marvel films, could be considered the anti-James Bond. Like 007, he represents a pinnacle of manliness, and yet he subverts toxic masculinity at every turn - and he's rewarded for it.RELATED: How Marvel's Most Powerful Captain America Quotes Can Help You Save the WorldSteve is selected to become Captain America because of his healthy masculinity. In the 2011 film Captain America: The First Avenger, he has a close bond with Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan), he respects Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) as a soldier and as a woman, and he displays a willingness to make sacrifices for the greater good. He's rewarded for those traits by being accepted for the super-soldier program.He continues to portray healthy masculinity in 2014's Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Steve develops close friendships with both Sam Wilson (Anthony Mackie) and Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson), and defers to their judgment throughout the film. He's also willing to save Bucky, now the brainwashed assassin known the Winter Soldier, and shows physical and emotional vulnerability in the process.With Steve's characterization, Marvel sent a clear message that modern masculinity includes close friendships (with men and women), emotional intelligence and a willingness to act as part of a team.Iron Man's Journey Away From Toxic MasculinityRobert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark in Marvel's Iron Man (2008)While Steve Rogers begins his arc in the Marvel Cinematic Universe displaying a healthy form of masculinity, Tony Stark had to put in the work to get there. Played by Robert Downey Jr., Tony is introduced in 2008's Iron Man as a womanizing, drunken nuisance who bulldozes anyone who attempts to tell him what to do. He's a billionaire and a genius who reluctantly relies upon his personal assistant to help run his life. He's blatantly misogynistic and, clearly, emotionally immature.RELATED: Why Natalie Portman Left Marvel Movies - and Why She Returned in Thor: Love and ThunderIn short, Tony Stark starts out as a poster boy for toxic masculinity, to the detriment of his own well-being. He drinks to repress his emotions, and, despite his social standing, he's nearly always alone. In Iron Man 2, Tony is literally dying, and chooses to suffer in silence rather than reach out to those who care about him.Luckily, Tony is increasingly surrounded by people who refuse to accept his self-destructive behavior. We watch him gradually reckon with his toxic traits, film by film. In 2012's The Avengers, Tony has stopped treating women as disposable. However, he's still drinking, and struggles to work as part of a team. By the time of 2019's Avengers: Endgame, he's happily married, a devoted father, and able to rely upon his teammates to help save the universe - all without losing his trademark ingenuity and snark.RELATED: Marvel's Most Inspirational Quotes That Give Power to Your ResponsibilityTony's journey is one from toxic masculinity to true heroism. He shows the audience that men can change their behavior and become healthier, happier people.Examples of healthy masculinity - and the journey to get there - are peppered throughout the MCU, creating a new paradigm of manhood in the audience's collective consciousness.Why the Marvel Cinematic Universe View of Masculinity MattersOur popular movies play a large part in shaping our expectations. When the dominant depiction of heroism is a stoic, solitary man who treats women as objects to be won, it sends the message that we should expect men to exhibit those traits in real life. That sets a harmful standard for boys and men, and we all suffer the consequences.RELATED: She-Hulk's Sexual Liberation Is Crucial for Marvel and Disney+That's why portrayals of healthy masculinity - which includes friendship, teamwork, and respect for others - are so important. They help to reframe expectations of male behavior. This is especially impactful in a blockbuster film franchise like the Marvel Cinematic Universe, whose heroes are so popular among children. It sends the message to a new generation that, yes, real men have vulnerabilities. Real men can rely on their friends for support. Real men respect women. And real men can work well with others.KEEP READING: Marvel's Will Poulter Called One Thing About Superheroes 'Unhealthy' - And He's 100% Right
