Close Ad

You are whole
Self-Development

You Are Whole: Why You Must Trust Your True North

At times we get caught up in the maze searching for someone else when we should be trying to find our own way through. Someone to solve all of our problems. Someone to make us feel less alone; less crazy; whole.

We spend so much time focused on this person that in the process we lose ourselves -- our brilliance, our light, our fire; whatever it was that made us feel attractive enough to pursue said person in the first place. The more we try so hard to get another's attention, the less we attend to ourselves. We empty our cup without finding the capacity to refill it. We forget that, in the words of Maya Angelou, love "doesn't just hold -- that’s ego. Love liberates."


You Are Whole: Why You Must Learn to Trust Your True North

I was looking for someone to inspire me, motivate me, support me, keep me focused... Someone who would love me, cherish me, make me happy, and I realized all along I was looking for myself.

If the "love" you are experiencing for another individual doesn't liberate you to extend that love to yourself, it's time to cut the thread.

I won't claim I'm an expert here. I'm not. Instead I'm a person who has experienced first-hand the shift from dependence to independence and the joy it sparks. How freeing it is to stop feeding another person's over-inflated ego to make room to nourish your own soul.

A lovely phrase to aid this nourishment (from Gravitas by Caroline Goyder) is, "Trust your true north."

Ask yourself: is my true north a future where I depend entirely on another person in order to feel whole? Or is my true north the best future I can possibly envision for myself, alongside a partner who completes me without filling the gaps (in wellbeing, mood and perspective) that I must fill on my own?

The truth is that you are your own lighthouse. Only you know the way for you, and only you will be able to tell you when you've reached the end-result. Stop wasting so much time trying to impress those who don't see the light in you, and instead get still and know yourself. Come back to you. Home-base.

You may have drifted oceans away from yourself but there is still time to sail back, if you wish.

And when you return, think of all the wonderful things you can do. The healing you can share. The light you can shine. The goals, once insurmountable, that you can finally start to climb toward.

The trick is this: become the person you would like to spend your life with, and your circumstances in love naturally shift. Or so I hope.

It will take a lifetime to find out.

Hot Stories

Leo Dicaprio Told Kate Winslet To “Let The Fat Girl Thing Go” …

Forced to feel ashamed for her weight and appearance, Kate Winslet struggled with her body image for years. The media loved to tease her for being “the fat girl,” but there was ONE PERSON who saw the real her. What did Leo see in Kate? And what important message does Kate have for young women everywhere?


Keep ReadingShow less
Videos
Noah Cyrus with her sister Miley Cyrus
61st Annual GRAMMY Awards - Inside
(Photo by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for The Recording Academy) *** Local Caption *** Noah Cyrus;Miley Cyrus

Famous sisters always get compared to one other—hell, even non-famous sisters deal with some level of unhealthy comparison. That's the case with Miley Cyrus and her sister Noah Cyrus, who is 7 years her junior.

While Miley rose to fame on the Disney Channel as Hannah Montana and later took the music scene by storm, in recent years Noah Cyrus began releasing music too. But back in May, while discussing the release of her EP, The End of Everything, Noah recalled emotionally what it was like to grow up as Miley Cyrus's little sister. “It was absolutely unbearable,” she said.

Keep ReadingShow less
Family
Kate winslet and leo
SAINT-TROPEZ, FRANCE - JULY 26: Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio are seen on stage during the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation 4th Annual Saint-Tropez Gala at Domaine Bertaud Belieu on July 26, 2017 in Saint-Tropez, France. (Photo by Anthony Ghnassia/Getty Images for LDC Foundation)

From declarations of love to laughter on the red carpet, we've rounded up our favorite moments between the legendary Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet that have kept our hearts aflutter for over two decades.

The now 50-year-old Leo and 49-year-old Kate have had their share of memorable moments. And they're still culturally relevant. The 2023 film Anyone But You had Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell recreate the Jack and Rose "leaning over the deck of the Titanic" scene we'll never forget.

Keep ReadingShow less
Pop Culture