How I Became an Adult While Raising a Child
Life as a parent can be a truly humbling experience; I assumed I arrived in adulthood long before giving birth to my daughter at 36 years old. However, this was wishful thinking. The past few years as a parent revealed numerous fault lines in my lifestyle that needed attention. Without the mirror of parenthood, I doubt I would have taken stock in such a profound, meticulous way.
Over the years I’ve discovered becoming a parent does not mean you have arrived -- it means your journey has just begun. I’ve discovered that if one remains available and willing to learn and grow, parenting can be a rewarding endeavor.
As I review my parenting style of the past years, I see tremendous growth on numerous levels. The passing years have tested my fortitude beyond measure; my beliefs were disputed, my perspective dissected, and my faith strengthened. Parenting gives us the opportunity to rise above and beyond our narrow expectations. Sometimes it forces us to reject unpalatable views conditioned by long-held traditions. Nevertheless, parenting gives us the opportunity to expand and to grow if we allow ourselves to have an open mind. Once I became a parent, I became a responsible adult. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned over the years.
How I Became an Adult While Raising a Child
There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.– Sue Atkins
Stand for something
Having a child can awaken one's sense of responsibility in a myriad of ways. My daughter fell seriously ill after years of bullying in the public school system. This untenable situation forced me to take a stand on principle: I decided to enroll her in an online home school program. Becoming a homeschooling parent was a major turning point. It’s important to support your children because it strengthens that extraordinary bond. Start early because the trust earned will benefit you in the teen years.
Children require nurturing from the inside out. In order to give them what they need, you must have an unwavering sense of self-worth. Kids are little saplings that require time and investment in order to grow and develop. Giving security and safety are important physically, but children need to feel secure and safe from deep inside first. This means giving love and support, but it also means disciplining with a firm hand when needed.
Match words with actions
Children listen to our words, but they are more interested in our actions. Becoming a parent gives one sufficient opportunity to fine-tune our lives in this area. It’s often easier to dictate from above when it comes to our children because we often think we know better. Fortunately, I discovered it’s always best to strike a balance between discipline and listening. I’ve learned to be clear and thoughtful with my words and to mirror the same with my actions. This is an ongoing pursuit and requires persistence and vigilance. If I fall off the beaten track, my daughter is the first to remind me.
Remain engaged
Sometimes life can move at warp speed, making it hard to remain engaged with our children. The necessities of living a modern life can be distracting. In a busy household we must be engaged because we can lose important bonding time with our children. As a homeschooling parent, I am constantly interacting with my child. While conversing with her, I try to answer any or all of her questions, and when the answers aren’t available, I say so. It is important to meet and establish a connection with their friends and learn their likes and dislikes as they change and grow. Sit with them, watch their TV shows and YouTube videos, and listen to their music, even if it’s difficult to understand. Show your interest and concern, but at the same time do not overwhelm or nag them.
Be flexible
The about parenting rules is there aren’t any. That’s what makes it so difficult.- Ewan McGregor
Learning flexibility in parenting is a must. This isn’t easy to do because as we age, our perspectives tend to calcify. Embracing flexibility is the most important lesson in my parenting life. The first and most important step was seeing my daughter as an individual who has her own mind and thoughts. This was incredibly difficult as she transitioned to teenage-hood. However, by allowing her to use her voice and to feel its inherent power, l sent her a message of trust and respect. Today, we are closer than ever. I’ve learned that allowing a child to shine, without imprinting too many expectations or forcing my own beliefs and mindset on them, is a tremendously gratifying endeavor.
Be honest about shortcomings
We all make mistakes; we all fall down. Sometimes, as parents, we feel it's more important to show strength. However, I found that showing vulnerability isn’t always negative; there were times when I let my guard down and was rewarded with a heartfelt embrace. Being honest about our shortcomings as parents does not make us appear fragile in the eyes of our children; in fact, it opens the door for deeper interaction and connection. In those moments when I felt most alone, my daughter often gave me guidance from her straightforward perspective. As a result, situations made complicated by my convoluted, adult thinking were often washed away.
Growing up together
In essence, I’ve grown and matured in meaningful ways as a parent. We all must find our way to the right path when parenting. Nowadays, I have a deep veneration for my mother and her efforts to raise me. I wasn’t an easy child, but she did her best. In the end, we are all on one colossal learning curve as parents. Parenting is complex, yet I was willing to finally accept responsibility to change and improve for my child's sake. As a result, I am a better person because of it -- and I can safely say that nothing prepares one for a journey like this.
Military Dad Defends His 4 Little Daughters When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Military Dad of 4 Daughters Defends His Girls When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Austin von Letkemann is the military officer strangers feel "sorry" for — and the reason is infuriating.
Whenever the devoted father leaves the house with his four children, strangers can't help but notice the officer in uniform is holding hands with 4 adorable little girls. They will tell the traditionally "masculine" and "all American" dad they feel sorry for him, because he has no sons. This dad makes one thing very clear: They are his daughters, they aren't a burden.
In a passionate video, von Letkemann took to Instagram to share with his followers that the only thing that's "difficult" about being a girl dad — is clapping back to these sexist remarks over and over again.
They Mock His Daughters To Their Face
When strangers approach Austin von Letkemann and his four daughters, they don't always realize that their comments are being overheard. They seem oblivious to the fact that his girls understand every word. Von Letkemann describes how people will approach him and, without thinking, make remarks like "I'm sorry" or even joke about his lack of sons. What they don't realize is that these comments, intended to be light-hearted or humorous, can be deeply hurtful to his daughters. These strangers are not just disrespecting von Letkemann's choices as a father; they're also sending a message to his daughters that their presence is something to be pitied. It’s a message that von Letkemann won't stand for, and he's speaking out to defend his girls from these insensitive remarksSaying "Get Your Shotgun" Isn't Funny — It's Sexist
Another common comment that Austin von Letkemann encounters is the old "better get your shotgun ready" trope, often delivered with a smirk or a wink. This line is typically intended to suggest that a father with daughters should be on high alert to protect them from potential "suitors," implying that they are objects to be guarded rather than individuals with agency.
Von Letkemann finds this line of thinking outdated and sexist. In his viral Instagram video, he points out that these jokes are not just stale — they're damaging.
By suggesting that his daughters require armed protection, the joke reinforces the idea that women are inherently vulnerable and need to be shielded from men. Von Letkemann argues that instead of promoting this narrative, society should focus on teaching respect and consent, challenging these sexist tropes at their source.
Watch Austin von Letkemann's Video:
"If I Had A Fifth Child, I'd HOPE It Was A Girl" — One Dad's Message For Other Parents
Despite the constant remarks about his lack of sons, Austin von Letkemann is clear: He wouldn't trade his daughters for anything.
In fact, he told his Instagram followers that if he were to have a fifth child, he would hope for another girl. This declaration isn't just about doubling down on his pride in his family — it's a pointed response to those who see fathering daughters as a misfortune.
Von Letkemann's stance is a powerful one, rejecting the notion that a family is incomplete without sons. He encourages others to question the assumptions behind these comments and to appreciate the joy and fulfillment that his daughters bring. By sharing his story, von Letkemann hopes to create a more inclusive perspective on fatherhood, one that values daughters just as much as sons.