Here Are THE Best Relationship Secrets from the World’s Oldest Couples
What is the secret to a happy, meaningful relationship? How can you ensure that your marriage lasts a lifetime?
These are two of the most common questions in the dating world. But as daunting as they may seem, the answers are actually pretty simple.
Take note of this indispensable relationship advice from some of the world’s oldest couples, all of whom have been married for decades, and you’ll be well on your way to achieving relationship bliss.
Start with a (relationship) interview
If you’ve ever searched for a job, you’ve likely gone through a round of interviews during which you and potential employers tried to figure out if you’re a good match for each other. The same logic should be applied to searching for the perfect partner.
According to a 2015 Cornell University study, which surveyed 300 individuals married for 30-plus years, one of the keys to a long-lasting relationship is getting to know each other REALLY well first.
"Many of the elders I surveyed married very young; despite that fact, they recommend the opposite,” revealed gerontologist Karl Pillemer who conducted the study.
“They strongly advise younger people to wait to marry until they have gotten to know their partner well and have a number of shared experiences,” he continued, adding, “An important part of this advice is a lesson that was endorsed in very strong terms: Never get married expecting to be able to change your partner."
Be a team, no matter what
106-year-old Dan Paveilck and his 99-year-old wife, Bertha, celebrated their 79th wedding anniversary in 2017.
Global News connected with the Alberta-based couple and asked for their secret to a happy life together. Turns out it’s all about working together. “Support one another, whatever the problems may be, good or bad,” Bertha told the outlet. “Stick together. That’s about it.”
The Cornell University study also came to a similar conclusion. "The elders urge us to apply what we have learned from our lifelong experiences in teams -- in sports, in work, in the military -- to marriage,” Pillemer stated.
“Concretely, this viewpoint involves seeing problems as collective to the couple, rather than the domain of one partner. Any difficulty, illness, or setback experienced by one member of the couple is the other partner's responsibility."
RELATED: 3 Qualities to Guide Successful Relationships of Any Kind
Remember: Arguments are normal
Everything can’t always be perfect and that’s not a bad thing. When Buzzfeedinterviewed a handful of super long-term couples in 2016, it found that coming to terms with the existence of arguments was a common thread.
“Don't break up after your first argument,” advised Olive, who had been married to her hubby, Eryk, for 68 years.
“You do have difference of opinion, but don't break up just over that. That's silly because you could be ruining a good relationship,” she elaborated. “You’ve got to accept that everyone has a difference in opinion.”
Morris, who had married Betty 69 years earlier, agreed. "People say ‘never argue’ but the thing is, if you have an argument, you get over it,” he stated. “You have an argument but after a while you start speaking again... you get on living your life together.”
Never stop having fun
When Donald and Vivian Hart celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary, ABC connected with the Grand Rapids, Michigan couple to figure out how exactly they made their marriage last for eight decades. The answer? Fun.
“It’s good to laugh together,” proclaimed Donald. “Have fun with each other, but don’t make jokes at the expense of the other.”
Advice the couple fully embraced, even at 99 years old! While celebrating the milestone anniversary, Donald wasn’t shy about serenading his bride, belting out their favorite song, Bing Crosby’s ‘Let Me Call You Sweetheart,’ for all to hear.
Military Dad Defends His 4 Little Daughters When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Military Dad of 4 Daughters Defends His Girls When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Austin von Letkemann is the military officer strangers feel "sorry" for — and the reason is infuriating.
Whenever the devoted father leaves the house with his four children, strangers can't help but notice the officer in uniform is holding hands with 4 adorable little girls. They will tell the traditionally "masculine" and "all American" dad they feel sorry for him, because he has no sons. This dad makes one thing very clear: They are his daughters, they aren't a burden.
In a passionate video, von Letkemann took to Instagram to share with his followers that the only thing that's "difficult" about being a girl dad — is clapping back to these sexist remarks over and over again.
They Mock His Daughters To Their Face
When strangers approach Austin von Letkemann and his four daughters, they don't always realize that their comments are being overheard. They seem oblivious to the fact that his girls understand every word. Von Letkemann describes how people will approach him and, without thinking, make remarks like "I'm sorry" or even joke about his lack of sons. What they don't realize is that these comments, intended to be light-hearted or humorous, can be deeply hurtful to his daughters. These strangers are not just disrespecting von Letkemann's choices as a father; they're also sending a message to his daughters that their presence is something to be pitied. It’s a message that von Letkemann won't stand for, and he's speaking out to defend his girls from these insensitive remarksSaying "Get Your Shotgun" Isn't Funny — It's Sexist
Another common comment that Austin von Letkemann encounters is the old "better get your shotgun ready" trope, often delivered with a smirk or a wink. This line is typically intended to suggest that a father with daughters should be on high alert to protect them from potential "suitors," implying that they are objects to be guarded rather than individuals with agency.
Von Letkemann finds this line of thinking outdated and sexist. In his viral Instagram video, he points out that these jokes are not just stale — they're damaging.
By suggesting that his daughters require armed protection, the joke reinforces the idea that women are inherently vulnerable and need to be shielded from men. Von Letkemann argues that instead of promoting this narrative, society should focus on teaching respect and consent, challenging these sexist tropes at their source.
Watch Austin von Letkemann's Video:
"If I Had A Fifth Child, I'd HOPE It Was A Girl" — One Dad's Message For Other Parents
Despite the constant remarks about his lack of sons, Austin von Letkemann is clear: He wouldn't trade his daughters for anything.
In fact, he told his Instagram followers that if he were to have a fifth child, he would hope for another girl. This declaration isn't just about doubling down on his pride in his family — it's a pointed response to those who see fathering daughters as a misfortune.
Von Letkemann's stance is a powerful one, rejecting the notion that a family is incomplete without sons. He encourages others to question the assumptions behind these comments and to appreciate the joy and fulfillment that his daughters bring. By sharing his story, von Letkemann hopes to create a more inclusive perspective on fatherhood, one that values daughters just as much as sons.