A few years ago, I found myself face to face with a defining moment that had the power to shape my future. Some of us experience this type of moment early on, and we allow it to guide us. 


Photo Credit: Jamie Street on Unsplash

Like the moment on a cold Thanksgiving night when a young Tony Robbins decided he would never let his family go hungry again because of the hunger and poverty he lived in.


Like the moment nine-year-old Bo Eason got the call from his little league baseball coach informing him he was not good enough to make the team like his brother did.

Others will experience this type of turning point later on, as I did.

It took me much more time, pain and depression to finally get it through my thick head that if something didn’t change in my life, I would forever live a mediocre, unfulfilled, and unhappy life.

Ben Franklin once said: “Some people die at 25, but aren’t buried until 75.”

This was me. Literally.

I found myself at 25 years old, sitting and staring at a grey cubicle wall in front of me at a job I hated. I was purposeless and depressed. I was dead inside, just not buried yet.

It was at this defining moment in my life that I had to make a decision. I found myself looking for answers to these four questions:

1. Who am I? 

What do I believe about myself and do I need to change it? Our self-talk and self-doubt is the number one killer of all motivation and enthusiasm. We have to take inventory of ourselves if we want to change our story. I found that I had been telling myself a story of limitations, fears, excuses, and missed opportunities.

I needed to change my story.

2. Who do I WANT to be? 

After we’ve taken inventory of ourselves and begin to strip off the negativity we’ve embraced into our story, we need to find a new direction. We need to create a vision for who we want to be because there is no such thing as staying “stagnant.”

You’re either growing or you are dying. Create a vision for yourself that is so far-fetched that you have no choice but to stretch your comfort zones and become someone entirely different to achieve it. 

This is important no matter who you are or what you’ve achieved thus far. No vision means no progress.

3. What am I willing to do to get there? 

This is all about action. When you believe in yourself and your potential, and you create a new vision and new story for yourself, you will need to put “boots to the dirt” and take action. What are you willing to do every single day to bring you one step closer that magnificent future you!?

And finally…

4. How will I give back to this world? 

My friend, there are endless articles and studies conducted by the fields of science and psychology to prove to us that no one can be happy, no matter what level of success they have achieved, if they don’t find a way to pour back into their world and community. Whether through your gifts, talents, or resources, you must give back. When you get “there,” find a way to give back and you will be overfilled with peace, presence, and happiness.

Tony Robbins grew into a man who has changed the world. From the work he has done in the personal development industry to the millions of meals he has provided for families in need, the way he responded to his defining moment changed everything for him.

Bo Eason used his defining moment to work harder than anyone around him and fought through many obstacles to become the top athlete in the world at his position. He entered the NFL as the top pick in his draft class. Ask him today what started his pursuit? He will tell you it was that phone call he received as a nine-year-old boy and the questions he needed to answer following it.

Finding the answers to these questions has given me direction and enthusiasm for life like never before. It was then that I was able to turn my deep depression into a burning passion for change in this world.

There is a better way to live, my friend!