40-Year-Old Mother of 3 Goes From Inmate to Princeton Intern
A Former Inmate
Woman goes from inmate to Princeton intern.
Photo by Nick Fewings on UnsplashMary McCrary is a 40-year-old mother of three who spent three years in prison. According to Good Morning America, she served time at the Debra K. Johnson Rehabilitation Center in Nashville for a parole violation following a conviction for aggravated burglary.
McCrary dropped out of high school in Grade 10 and has since successfully pursued her GED, but it wasn’t until prison that she began thinking about further education. She hit a breaking point behind bars and decided it was time to turn her life around.
“When you get to a point where you're tired and don’t even want to live and you're hopeless and you feel useless and worthless, you have a decision to make,” she told the publication.
“I made the decision to use this time to do something different, to change my life, because I didn’t want to keep doing the same things and getting in trouble and ... doing whatever I had to to survive because it gets you in the exact same place.”
So, McCrary enrolled in a coding class as part of the center’s Persevere program, an initiative aimed at helping inmates earn certifications as front-end or full-stack web developers.
“The class alone made you feel like you’re a human being, that I was working towards something, that there is a goal in sight, I am going to accomplish something, and I did,” she added. “That does give you confidence and hope.”
A Life-Changing Opportunity
For the next six months, McCrary earned her certificate in front-end coding. She decided to develop her skills even more by enrolling at Nashville State Community College, which offers a program for inmates.
This past May, McCrary was granted parole, completed her supervision, and earned extra credits toward an associate’s degree. But not even she could anticipate what would happen next: an internship at Princeton.
The nine-week program is meant for formerly incarcerated undergrad students to gain experience and new opportunities, and so far, McCrary is excelling.
“Her dedication to building her future is evident in how she does not shy away from challenges and the unknown,” Bridgett vonHoldt, an associate professor at Princeton and the head of the internship program said. “She is a role model, demonstrating for anyone who thinks such change is impossible that nothing is impossible.”
As for McCrary, she knows this is an incredible opportunity and hopes the internship is the next step toward earning her AA degree back in Nashville.
“This has been life-changing in more ways than one. This is an unbelievable, sometimes overwhelming experience,” she said. “If you look at my past, it's a crazy shamble mess, but look now, look what can happen. Nothing is ever impossible.”
Second Chances
McCrary hopes to be a role model for those who are having a hard time accepting the idea of a brighter future and so far, she certainly is. She’s a great example of how things can get better and you can change your future when you’re willing to take advantage of the opportunities you have — even if they don’t seem like opportunities at the time.
This story is also a needed reminder that everyone deserves a second chance in life and that sometimes, by allowing someone who has messed up the chance to try again, they may surprise you.
No one is perfect, and everyone stumbles. It’s not how hard we fall that truly matters in life; it's how we pick ourselves back up. But it’s also up to us whether we want to be the person who lends someone on the ground a helping hand or if we want to be the guy who just keeps on walking.
Be a Rainbow in Somebody Else's Cloud
Most of Maya Angelou's life's work was rooted in her love for others. To millions she was (and is) a precious orb of light in an otherwise dark room. An influence to the likes of Barack Obama, Alicia Keys and Tupac Shakur, one of her firmest intentions was to always be "a rainbow in somebody else's cloud."
Be a Rainbow in Somebody Else's Cloud
How do we be a rainbow in someone else's cloud? We offer ourselves to them. Our whole selves. We realize that we were put here for a greater purpose than to just serve ourselves. That we were put here to also be of service to others. To extend nourishment as much as we hoard it.
Have you ever been financially broke -- and yet, almost by magic, somebody was there to lend you money? Or instead experienced the death of a loved one -- while one person stayed with you patiently through your grief? These people were your rainbows.
And if you haven't had an experience like this, then that is all the more reason to give someone what you wish someone would have given you in a time of crisis.
Angelou's rainbow, and how she found her voice
During her five years of muteness as a child, one of Maya Angelou's rainbows was her grandmother. "You're going to be a teacher," she told Angelou. "Sister, you're going to teach all over this world." Maya thought in her head at the time, "This poor, ignorant woman – doesn't she know I will never speak?"
Yet, in her lifetime, Maya Angelou indeed did lecture at leading educational institutions around the world; her grandmother was right.
When we have no belief left in ourselves, sometimes we need somebody else to provide that belief.
Sometimes we need a rainbow in a cloud of our own.
Fill your own cup, that it may overflow
And it's easy to confuse being a rainbow in someone else's cloud with being a people-pleaser. But the difference between the two is that the latter demands too much of you, while the former demands just enough. People-pleasers expend themselves by giving away food even when they are still hungry themselves. If you are being a rainbow, however, you aren't doing so at the expense of yourself.
Rainbows don't replace clouds; they simply shine through a fraction of them to say "I'm here."
Regarding the Bible quotation, "My cup runneth over," Iyanla Vanzant said that in order to keep your cup full when giving to others, you have to make it clear that "What comes out of the cup is for y'all; what's in the cup is mine." It's the idea that when your cup is so full it's overflowing, you can give the excess to others guilt-free because you already have enough.
The many faces of giving
Just because you are not expending all of your energy to get rid of the cloud or stop the rain or drag the sun out, that does not mean you are not doing enough for the person involved. Sometimes all we humans require is an attentive listener, a positive quote to read, or a cup of coffee made by another hand. These small gestures are enough.
Remember that you were put here to be your best self for a purpose bigger than yourself. Sometimes we forget this duty. We treat it like a burden. Stop treating it like one. Find someone in your life who you know to be struggling and, without expecting anything in return, be a rainbow in their cloud.
Only you know how.
In the words of Thic Nhat Hanh: "The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers."