If You Want to Help, Learn the Art of Listening
As humans, we ultimately aim to give back to our universe and society. We can do this by helping those in need -- and simply listening is one important way to do this that is often overlooked.
Ernesto Sirolli, in his TED Talk entitled “Want to help someone? Shut up and listen!”, proposes that the first step is to listen to the people you're trying to help. But often we fail to differentiate between hearing and listening. While the former involves the passive act of allowing the ears to input sounds into the brain, the latter involves getting actively and emotionally involved with what is being said. Good listeners are often good speakers too, as they take in information at a deeper level and hold onto it for longer. And one who listens well can win the hearts of people with ease.
If You Want to Help, Learn the Art of Listening
Eyes see only light, ears hear only sound, but a listening heart perceives meaning.- David Steindl-Rast
Let us find the most important qualities and actions to carry out in order to develop your skills as a good listener.
1. Use your eyes
Along with your ears, make sure you keep an eye on the person speaking to get non-verbal cues from body movements and gestures. Hearing involves only the use of the ears, but when you're aiming to truly listen, you need to incorporate the use of your eyes to get a fuller idea of what they're communicating.
2. Hold onto your tongue
We all know that curiosity killed the cat, and the only way to save and hone your listening skills is to not let curiosity take a toll on you. Listen, listen, and then keep listening, waiting for your chance to speak. And when that chance comes, make sure to utilize it to the fullest and let your feelings be known.
3. React, don’t act
Use your body language, eyes and facial expressions to reciprocate to what the speaker says, and check your impulse to want to provide verbal opinions and advice in between. This can be one of the worst mistakes a person can make when listening to others. You do not want to interrupt someone who is in the middle of a train of thought and trying to offer information. This disrupts the speaker's concentration and hampers their attempt to process and provide details.
4. Use your power of visualization
Try to visually imagine what the person is telling you about to help you engage in the conversation whole-heartedly. If a person describes a place or person, try conjuring that place or person as an image in your mind. If a person describes a personal experience, try getting into his/her skin and reliving the experience. This makes the act of listening much more active and effective.
5. Don't jump to conclusions
When listening, focus on the speaker and not your own thoughts that are striking you at the moment. Do no try to look at things judgmentally, and do not draw premature conclusions. Wait for the person to finish, take a deep breath, and then thoughtfully formulate your feedback. In order to facilitate listening, mastering the act of empathizing is a must. This helps in not drawing conclusions too early about the speaker.
Listen and learn
So there you have it, the elementary requirements to become a good listener so that from the next time on, every conversation will leave you with information that sticks in your mind and heart forever.
Keep listening, and keep helping those around you by first learning from their life experiences.
Military Dad Defends His 4 Little Daughters When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Military Dad of 4 Daughters Defends His Girls When Strangers Make This Rude Remark
Austin von Letkemann is the military officer strangers feel "sorry" for — and the reason is infuriating.
Whenever the devoted father leaves the house with his four children, strangers can't help but notice the officer in uniform is holding hands with 4 adorable little girls. They will tell the traditionally "masculine" and "all American" dad they feel sorry for him, because he has no sons. This dad makes one thing very clear: They are his daughters, they aren't a burden.
In a passionate video, von Letkemann took to Instagram to share with his followers that the only thing that's "difficult" about being a girl dad — is clapping back to these sexist remarks over and over again.
They Mock His Daughters To Their Face
When strangers approach Austin von Letkemann and his four daughters, they don't always realize that their comments are being overheard. They seem oblivious to the fact that his girls understand every word. Von Letkemann describes how people will approach him and, without thinking, make remarks like "I'm sorry" or even joke about his lack of sons. What they don't realize is that these comments, intended to be light-hearted or humorous, can be deeply hurtful to his daughters. These strangers are not just disrespecting von Letkemann's choices as a father; they're also sending a message to his daughters that their presence is something to be pitied. It’s a message that von Letkemann won't stand for, and he's speaking out to defend his girls from these insensitive remarksSaying "Get Your Shotgun" Isn't Funny — It's Sexist
Another common comment that Austin von Letkemann encounters is the old "better get your shotgun ready" trope, often delivered with a smirk or a wink. This line is typically intended to suggest that a father with daughters should be on high alert to protect them from potential "suitors," implying that they are objects to be guarded rather than individuals with agency.
Von Letkemann finds this line of thinking outdated and sexist. In his viral Instagram video, he points out that these jokes are not just stale — they're damaging.
By suggesting that his daughters require armed protection, the joke reinforces the idea that women are inherently vulnerable and need to be shielded from men. Von Letkemann argues that instead of promoting this narrative, society should focus on teaching respect and consent, challenging these sexist tropes at their source.
Watch Austin von Letkemann's Video:
"If I Had A Fifth Child, I'd HOPE It Was A Girl" — One Dad's Message For Other Parents
Despite the constant remarks about his lack of sons, Austin von Letkemann is clear: He wouldn't trade his daughters for anything.
In fact, he told his Instagram followers that if he were to have a fifth child, he would hope for another girl. This declaration isn't just about doubling down on his pride in his family — it's a pointed response to those who see fathering daughters as a misfortune.
Von Letkemann's stance is a powerful one, rejecting the notion that a family is incomplete without sons. He encourages others to question the assumptions behind these comments and to appreciate the joy and fulfillment that his daughters bring. By sharing his story, von Letkemann hopes to create a more inclusive perspective on fatherhood, one that values daughters just as much as sons.