In a powerful essay, the Reddit co-founder makes it clear why he doesn’t hesitate to support Serena in all her career endeavors despite the toll it takes on his career.

Tennis star Serena Williams is, quite literally, the most prolific athlete of our times. There isn’t a single record she hasn’t broken on the tennis court, a glass ceiling she hasn’t shattered, and an opportunity she hasn’t seized and completely crushed. Both on her own and with sister Venus, she has received unprecedented acclaim from nearly every single section of society. However, it still doesn’t feel enough, especially in light of the undeniable impact she’s made on tennis, and on sports in general. In recent years, though, a lot of the focus has turned to Serena Williams’ husband, Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian.

Their relationship is thought to be fairly unconventional in today’s culture, even with the progress that’s taken place in matters of gender equality over the past decade or so. Their sweet, loving partnership, which the two haven’t been shy in showcasing, has been singled out by the press time and again. But it’s not often that they delve into Alexis’ thought process and decision-making. 

The more you learn about his understanding of masculinity and marriage, the more appreciation you develop for their unique arrangement. Here’s what we can learn from Alexis Ohanian and his point of view.

Alexis Reveals His ‘Compromises’ for Serena & Their Daughter 

Serena Williams, Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr. and Alexis Ohanian attend the 2021 AFI Fest (Photo by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)

The first thing to note about Alexis Ohanian is that he isn’t merely a trophy husband who had no choice but to surrender to Serena’s enormous career. 

Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian, an internet entrepreneur, met in 2015 while staying at the same hotel in Rome. The tennis ace was there for the Italian Open, and he was attending the Festival of Media Global conference. Alexis proposed in late 2016, at the same hotel. The two welcomed daughter Olympia the following year, and then wed in November 2017 in New Orleans.

A co-founder of Reddit, Alexis has also developed and launched a number of other enterprises, including venture capital firm Initialized Capital, travel search platform Hipmunk, and niche-merchandise website Breadpig. He’s an influential entrepreneur and philanthropist in the tech space, so he could have easily rested on his laurels and tried to maintain a “balance” between work and family, as many men do. 

Alexis Ohanian receives the Champion for Equality Award from the Women’s Sports Foundation (Image: Instagram)

Yet, Alexis didn’t want to take the easy route. He wanted to be the best possible husband to the woman he calls the “greatest mom of all time.” In an eye-opening essay for Glamour, Alexis credits his mindset to his mother and father, who instilled in him a passion for “showing up” and putting in an effort day in, day out.

By watching [my parents] up close, I learned what it means to be supportive, how to make compromises without sacrificing yourself, and how to show up in the ways that matter. 

Alexis Ohanian on Glamour

He realized early on that it was going to be an uphill battle to get quality time with Serena, considering how they both had hectic schedules that always kept them “on the road.” That’s why they always planned out their calendars in advance, to ensure there “isn’t more than a week that [they] go without seeing each other.”

Alexis Ohanian Became ‘Business Dad’ After Olympia’s Birth

Alexis Ohanian with daughter Olympia (Image: Instagram)

However, their dynamic shifted with the birth in 2017 of their daughter, Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr. (better known as simply Olympia). Alexis was lucky enough to take 16 weeks of paid leave, which enabled him to discover the beauty of fatherhood in its most powerful form. Since then, he’s undertaken the role of a “business dad” (his term), where the lion’s share of his energy is fixated on his daughter, and whatever his wife requires from him.

It’s not that he’s retired from his profession. Rather, he understands the necessity of making “compromises” for the sake of the family. He does say he’s “fortunate to be his own boss,” which extends freedoms such as bringing Olympia into the office or working remotely. However, he also acknowledges that Serena’s work takes precedence. “At the end of the day, sometimes her career really does have to come first,” he wrote in Glamour

Serena Williams & Husband Alexis’ Relationship Isn’t One-Sided

Alexis Ohanian reacts during the Women’s Singles semi-final match between Serena Williams of the United States and Elina Svitolina of the Ukraine on day eleven of the 2019 US Open (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)

Since welcoming Olympia, Alexis has become a staunch advocate for paid paternity leave, and encourages other men to prioritize, and value, what it means to be a dad. They shouldn’t be ashamed if they’re left to do what is traditionally known as “women’s work.”

Taking care of your child should be an intuitive feeling. You’re not supposed to consider social stigmas, or how they interfere with your presentation of masculinity. As Alexis writes, “If you need to make more money than your partner to have confidence, then I think there’s something more going on under the hood.”

I know I’ve been successful in my career, but I’m not the one racking up the trophies. It helps that my wife and I both know what it takes to be successful and bring that mutual understanding, drive, and relentlessness to the table […] I’m far from perfect, but I try to get behind her and let her know I’m there for her and our daughter, no matter what.

Alexis Ohanian in Glamour

If your “swagger” relies on seeking validation from archaic gender roles, it’s probably not real in the first place. Despite social changes that have occurred over the past 50 years, many men still pride themselves on being the breadwinner. Childcare is a secondary hobby for many of them, which is why we should celebrate Alexis’ approach to what he deems as a necessary evolution of our culture. 

Serena Williams & Alexis Ohanian Know What It Takes to Be Successful

Alexis Ohanian and Serena Williams, with their daughter Olympia (Image: Instagram)

Furthermore, he doesn’t see his relationship with Serena as one-sided. They have extensive conversations about “her career goals and what she can do to reach them,” but “she does the same with [him].” The pair is always looking out for each other and their happiness; if neither is happy within the partnership, the other is willing to do whatever it takes to change course. “I know I’ve been successful in my career, but I’m not the one racking up the trophies,” he said.

Both Alexis and Serena are well aware of “what it takes to be successful,” and they’re able to bring “mutual understanding, drive, and relentlessness to the table.” Alexis isn’t the first, or the last, man to favor fatherhood over professional glory. And it can feel problematic to underscore a man’s sacrifice when women have been doing the same since time immemorial. However, progress is progress, nonetheless. Any upward movement in the road to gender equality should be recognized; if we don’t address any change, how will we know what comes next?

Little Compromises Are Part of a Healthy Relationship

Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian at the premiere of Thor: Love and Thunder (Image: Instagram)

It goes without saying that many men need to step up and “surprise and delight” like Alexis if they want to develop a true partnership with the women in their lives. You can’t expect to get it right 100 percent of the time. But as long as your head is in the right place, and you care about the other person, you’ll make it work. Of course, it’s not as if women don’t also have to concede in many areas to strengthen the partnership. Sacrifices are required from both sides.

However, when you’re in love, and immersed in the idea of happiness, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t feel like a compromise at all, because it’s instinctive to you. It’s what you’re meant to be doing with your time because it’s what brings you the most fulfillment. 

At the very least, if you don’t have time or space or mental capacity to make a compromise, effort does go a long way. Persistent, strategic, oftentimes creative effort is a potent weapon; it shows that people you are serious and ready to navigate any hurdle. As long as you’re showing willingness, half your battle is over. 

Never settle for less
“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” ― Wayne W. Dyer