Dave Chappelle may be one of the most popular comedians in the world, but to his wife Elaine, he's just Dave.
Chappelle had his big break with his Comedy Central Show Chappelle Show which ran from 2003 to 2005. The show was enormously popular and put Chappelle on the map. Chappelle’s Show was scheduled to have a third season after the success of the first two seasons but that never happened.
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Instead, Chappelle famously walked away from the series and a $50 million paycheck. He abruptly left during production in 2006, effectively breaking his contract with Comedy Central. He was reportedly unhappy with the direction the show had taken and needed to step away.
But there has been one person who has been with the comedian through it all and that's his wife, Elaine.
Dave and Elaine Chappelle Prioritize Family Over Money
In an interview with Time, Chappelle spoke about moving to Ohio and walking away from his show, saying, "Coming here, I don't have the distractions of fame. It quiets the ego down. I'm interested in the kind of person I've got to become. I want to be well-rounded, and the industry is a place of extremes. I want to be well-balanced. I've got to check my intentions, man.”
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There was much speculation during this time in Chappelle’s life. Fans couldn’t fathom the idea that he’d walk away from his popular and successful show and $50 million. People thought he must have a drug or alcohol problem. Others thought it was a mental health issue that led comedian Dave Chappelle to walk away from it all. That wasn’t the case at all. Chappelle simply reprioritized his life in a way that was better for himself and his family.
Through the media circus that followed Dave Chappelle’s wife Elaine Mendoza stood by him. Dave and Elaine have been married for 21 years. They tied the knot in 2001 and have two sons, Sulayman and Ibrahim, and one daughter, Sanaa.
Who is Elaine Chappelle?
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Dave Chappelle’s wife Elaine Mendoza was born on August 31, 1974, to devout Christian Filipino parents. (Dave converted to Islam in 1991.) She grew up in Brooklyn and according to various sources, once planned to become a professional chef. Dave and Elaine Chappelle met more than 20 years ago, so she would have been in her 20s. After meeting and falling in love with Dave Chappelle, Elaine chose to devote herself to raising the couple’s three children.
How Did Dave Chappelle and Elaine Meet?
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During an interview with Howard Stern in the early 2000s, Dave Chappelle revealed that he met his then-girlfriend Elaine Mendoza in Brooklyn and at the time he said she was pregnant with his baby. He said that he was immediately interested in her, but she took some time to get to know Dave before committing to the relationship.
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He also revealed that she was Filipino, which led Stern and his co-host Robin Quivers to make some distasteful jokes about Asian stereotypes. Up until this point Dave Chappelle had been a regular guest on Stern’s show and even credited the exposure Stern gave him with helping his career. After they made those so-called jokes about the future Elaine Chappelle, he has continually refused to ever appear on Stern’s show again. Though he publicly says it’s because the show tapes too early in the morning, it feels like he's showing where his loyalties lie – with his wife Elaine Chappelle.
Elaine is Dave Chappelle’s Support System
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Dave and Elaine Chappelle have a strong marriage that has lasted more than two decades so far. Over the years, Dave Chappelle has made many comments about how his wife is his support system. In his final interview with Howard Stern, Chappelle said, “She was with me when I was poor.”
For a celebrity like Chappelle, it is especially important to have a strong support system in place. Fans and the media can be brutal to a public figure like Elaine Chappelle’s husband. She has been with Dave through some rocky parts of his career including when he walked away from Chappelle’s Show and the more recent controversy over the anti-trans content in his standup routine.
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He appreciates the perspective Elaine Chappelle brings to his life and said, "My wife, if it gets real bad, she’ll let me know, like, ‘Oh, you should look into this.’ But for the most part, I try not to pay attention to it because you don’t want to be careful as a comedian. I try to keep my business small enough so it can still be authentic enough.”
Speaking of that $50 million Chappelle walked away from when he quit Chapelle’s Show and voided his contract with Comedy Central – Chappelle did an interview with Conan O’Brien in 2006 during which he talked about it, saying, “My wife’s still a little salty… She’s not mad at me, but don’t think you’re going to walk away from $50 million and your wife’s just gonna be cool with it.”
Where the Married Couple is Today
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Dave and Elaine Chappelle and their three children live on a 65-acre farm in Yellow Springs, Ohio, which is located about 20 miles from the Dayton Metropolitan area. In 2006, Chappelle said, “I used to be cable’s hottest star and now I’m just a Yellow Springs guy. It turns out you don't need $50 million to live around these parts, just a nice smile and a kind way about you. You guys are the best neighbors ever. That's why I came back and that's why I'm staying.”
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Chappelle grew up in Yellow Springs, where his father was the dean of students at Antioch College.
By all accounts, Dave and Elaine Chappelle are living a peaceful, quiet, and normal life in Ohio with their children. She keeps out of the spotlight and doesn’t have any social media accounts. They appear to be a grounded couple with mutual love and respect for each other and that’s a beautiful thing.
Should I Be Of Service to Myself Or Others?
Which path - Service to self or others?
Most of us chose our professions by responding to an instinctual angst to fix a problem. Our childhood experiences showed us a need we tried to fill by righting wrongs or injustice. Often becoming our raison d'être for this life. It directs us to a life of service to self or service to others. You could call it nonprofit vs. for-profit, but it’s not that simple.
Working for someone else’s dream is a service to others and not necessarily the selfless concepts we associate with that term. Service to self at it’s best is the call of the artist within us all to create and be. Please don’t limit the concept of an artist to paintings, sculpture, etc. Art is our calling for the lessons we want to learn in this life. The Mayans left us the formula for mankind: Time(Energy)=Art.
We live in a time of big questions and choices on a personal and planetary level. The world is getting united as we become more connected. We see the pains and joys from around the world and the cybersphere have emotionally fused the two.
The question next is how to exit the matrix. Or switch the priority from service to others then self, to service to self then others. These polarities are best served by equal service to both. Neither are bad or good because each needs the other to succeed.
Isn’t that narcissistic? No, two Burning Mans and an Afrikaburn taught me that. Try it, spend a week receiving from others. You’ll feel the desire to do give as well. Radical receiving begets radical giving. Our species at it’s finest.
Think of the prep you do when you have a cold. You get the medicine, tissues, cream for your skin, liquids and hunker down to rest. Give yourself that radical self-care on everything as the patient. Be the best friend who you would do anything for your wellbeing. Don’t forget to apply tough love as needed.
Ask yourself this: “What would someone who loves me say?” Tell your ego to answer that question and you will put it in the place it’s supposed to be: guiding not driving. You are in the best position to give advice because you know you. The lazy you, the parts of you that need a kick in the pants, the insecure child, and what brings you joy and tears. Treat yourself like a lover, best friend, parent or whomever you love the most. And then take the advice.
Take heed that negative thoughts or fear will be like self-abuse. While at Afrikaburn, an alchemist and I measured the Schumann Resonance at 27 SR. That’s one of the highest readings on the planet according to those who pay attention. And expected at high vibration events. At 21 SR it's said that we will see instant manifestations. During the burn, I saw fear manifest on two different occasions. Camp members mentioned their fears of safety, and both were victims of theft.
Negative emotions coupled with thoughts are just as powerful as your positive ones. But there is no need to hide from fears or ignore them. Just acknowledge and release them with self-acceptance. Or as we say back home ‘check yourself before you wreck yourself.’
Radical self-care is the polarity (and partner) to radical world service. Acknowledge and accept that both need to exist. I like what a friend said ‘life is the dance between the two polarities. When we accept either service option for our lives, we automatically need the other.
My service to others involves teaching in foreign lands, writing stories fresh from the muses and trusting the flow of it all with one-way tickets. The radical service to self requires a diet of no sugars, gluten or meat. Spiritual nurturance starts with solar gazing and wearing a uniform.
Synchronicity flows best when I have no plans for the day and options are laid out for me to choose instead of guessing the right choice. A lesson I wish I knew at 35 instead of 55, but I’m better understanding today.
When you need advice ask yourself 'What would someone who loves me say?' And then listen to the loving response.
About The Author
Phyllis Serene (https://www.phyllisrawley.com) is the founder of God/Dess University (GU) (https://www.goddessuniversity.org). GU offers courses in earth sciences, energy medicine, life cycle support and sexual wellness. Her career includes Christian missionary, executive recruiter, non-profit director and Dominatrix. She is Southern California Leather Woman 2010-2011 an international sexual wellness educator and author. Her latest book is "All My Heroes Were Ho's, Life Lessons From The Dungeon". She is an advocate for sexual wellness and creator of the Five Alignments course. Teaching the five intelligent systems: spiritual, intellectual, emotional, instinctual and sexual. Interviewed by Essence.com the largest African-American women's magazine. And seen on E Networks "The Real 50 Shades of Grey".