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40-Year-Old Mother of 3 Goes From Inmate to Princeton Intern
A Former Inmate
Woman goes from inmate to Princeton intern.
Photo by Nick Fewings on UnsplashMary McCrary is a 40-year-old mother of three who spent three years in prison. According to Good Morning America, she served time at the Debra K. Johnson Rehabilitation Center in Nashville for a parole violation following a conviction for aggravated burglary.
McCrary dropped out of high school in Grade 10 and has since successfully pursued her GED, but it wasn’t until prison that she began thinking about further education. She hit a breaking point behind bars and decided it was time to turn her life around.
“When you get to a point where you're tired and don’t even want to live and you're hopeless and you feel useless and worthless, you have a decision to make,” she told the publication.
“I made the decision to use this time to do something different, to change my life, because I didn’t want to keep doing the same things and getting in trouble and ... doing whatever I had to to survive because it gets you in the exact same place.”
So, McCrary enrolled in a coding class as part of the center’s Persevere program, an initiative aimed at helping inmates earn certifications as front-end or full-stack web developers.
“The class alone made you feel like you’re a human being, that I was working towards something, that there is a goal in sight, I am going to accomplish something, and I did,” she added. “That does give you confidence and hope.”
A Life-Changing Opportunity
For the next six months, McCrary earned her certificate in front-end coding. She decided to develop her skills even more by enrolling at Nashville State Community College, which offers a program for inmates.
This past May, McCrary was granted parole, completed her supervision, and earned extra credits toward an associate’s degree. But not even she could anticipate what would happen next: an internship at Princeton.
The nine-week program is meant for formerly incarcerated undergrad students to gain experience and new opportunities, and so far, McCrary is excelling.
“Her dedication to building her future is evident in how she does not shy away from challenges and the unknown,” Bridgett vonHoldt, an associate professor at Princeton and the head of the internship program said. “She is a role model, demonstrating for anyone who thinks such change is impossible that nothing is impossible.”
As for McCrary, she knows this is an incredible opportunity and hopes the internship is the next step toward earning her AA degree back in Nashville.
“This has been life-changing in more ways than one. This is an unbelievable, sometimes overwhelming experience,” she said. “If you look at my past, it's a crazy shamble mess, but look now, look what can happen. Nothing is ever impossible.”
Second Chances
McCrary hopes to be a role model for those who are having a hard time accepting the idea of a brighter future and so far, she certainly is. She’s a great example of how things can get better and you can change your future when you’re willing to take advantage of the opportunities you have — even if they don’t seem like opportunities at the time.
This story is also a needed reminder that everyone deserves a second chance in life and that sometimes, by allowing someone who has messed up the chance to try again, they may surprise you.
No one is perfect, and everyone stumbles. It’s not how hard we fall that truly matters in life; it's how we pick ourselves back up. But it’s also up to us whether we want to be the person who lends someone on the ground a helping hand or if we want to be the guy who just keeps on walking.
Should I Be Of Service to Myself Or Others?
Which path - Service to self or others?
Most of us chose our professions by responding to an instinctual angst to fix a problem. Our childhood experiences showed us a need we tried to fill by righting wrongs or injustice. Often becoming our raison d'être for this life. It directs us to a life of service to self or service to others. You could call it nonprofit vs. for-profit, but it’s not that simple.
Working for someone else’s dream is a service to others and not necessarily the selfless concepts we associate with that term. Service to self at it’s best is the call of the artist within us all to create and be. Please don’t limit the concept of an artist to paintings, sculpture, etc. Art is our calling for the lessons we want to learn in this life. The Mayans left us the formula for mankind: Time(Energy)=Art.
We live in a time of big questions and choices on a personal and planetary level. The world is getting united as we become more connected. We see the pains and joys from around the world and the cybersphere have emotionally fused the two.
The question next is how to exit the matrix. Or switch the priority from service to others then self, to service to self then others. These polarities are best served by equal service to both. Neither are bad or good because each needs the other to succeed.
Isn’t that narcissistic? No, two Burning Mans and an Afrikaburn taught me that. Try it, spend a week receiving from others. You’ll feel the desire to do give as well. Radical receiving begets radical giving. Our species at it’s finest.
Think of the prep you do when you have a cold. You get the medicine, tissues, cream for your skin, liquids and hunker down to rest. Give yourself that radical self-care on everything as the patient. Be the best friend who you would do anything for your wellbeing. Don’t forget to apply tough love as needed.
Ask yourself this: “What would someone who loves me say?” Tell your ego to answer that question and you will put it in the place it’s supposed to be: guiding not driving. You are in the best position to give advice because you know you. The lazy you, the parts of you that need a kick in the pants, the insecure child, and what brings you joy and tears. Treat yourself like a lover, best friend, parent or whomever you love the most. And then take the advice.
Take heed that negative thoughts or fear will be like self-abuse. While at Afrikaburn, an alchemist and I measured the Schumann Resonance at 27 SR. That’s one of the highest readings on the planet according to those who pay attention. And expected at high vibration events. At 21 SR it's said that we will see instant manifestations. During the burn, I saw fear manifest on two different occasions. Camp members mentioned their fears of safety, and both were victims of theft.
Negative emotions coupled with thoughts are just as powerful as your positive ones. But there is no need to hide from fears or ignore them. Just acknowledge and release them with self-acceptance. Or as we say back home ‘check yourself before you wreck yourself.’
Radical self-care is the polarity (and partner) to radical world service. Acknowledge and accept that both need to exist. I like what a friend said ‘life is the dance between the two polarities. When we accept either service option for our lives, we automatically need the other.
My service to others involves teaching in foreign lands, writing stories fresh from the muses and trusting the flow of it all with one-way tickets. The radical service to self requires a diet of no sugars, gluten or meat. Spiritual nurturance starts with solar gazing and wearing a uniform.
Synchronicity flows best when I have no plans for the day and options are laid out for me to choose instead of guessing the right choice. A lesson I wish I knew at 35 instead of 55, but I’m better understanding today.
When you need advice ask yourself 'What would someone who loves me say?' And then listen to the loving response.
About The Author
Phyllis Serene (https://www.phyllisrawley.com) is the founder of God/Dess University (GU) (https://www.goddessuniversity.org). GU offers courses in earth sciences, energy medicine, life cycle support and sexual wellness. Her career includes Christian missionary, executive recruiter, non-profit director and Dominatrix. She is Southern California Leather Woman 2010-2011 an international sexual wellness educator and author. Her latest book is "All My Heroes Were Ho's, Life Lessons From The Dungeon". She is an advocate for sexual wellness and creator of the Five Alignments course. Teaching the five intelligent systems: spiritual, intellectual, emotional, instinctual and sexual. Interviewed by Essence.com the largest African-American women's magazine. And seen on E Networks "The Real 50 Shades of Grey".