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22-Year-Old Dad Drives to Job Interview With Expired License - Cop Pulls Him Over and Makes Him an Unexpected Offer
Uplifting News

22-Year-Old Dad Drives to Job Interview With Expired License - Cop Pulls Him Over and Makes Him an Unexpected Offer

Job interviews are stressful enough on their own. But imagine you’re on your way to one when all of a sudden police sirens start going off behind you. Your motivation would probably dwindle pretty fast. That was the situation a 22-year-old man named Ka’Shawn Baldwin found himself in back in 2019 when he was on his way to an interview at FedEx.That unlucky day on the road, Baldwin had all kinds of thoughts going through his head. He knew his license had expired, but he didn’t know the vehicle, which he had borrowed from his friend, also had an expired license plate.“Car’s going to get towed, I’m going to go to jail for not driving with a valid license. More tickets, more fines, that’s all I was thinking about,” he told Good Morning America.“The routine thing is to tow the car and take the person to jail who is driving the car,” he added to NBC News.The Down on His Luck Dad and the Life-Changing Police StopWhen Baldwin explained to Officer Roger Gemoules that he was driving illegally because he had no other way to get to his job interview (where he would hopefully be able to start making money to pay for his expired license and to provide for his two-year-old daughter), he got an unexpected break that set him up for success.With everything that’s been going on lately in the community and around here, police really get a bad rap.Officer Roger Gemoules to GMAAt the time, Gemoules was a high school resource officer with the Cahokia Police Department in Illinois. However, the school was closed for spring break so he was on patrol instead. When he came across Baldwin, he practiced a bit of active listening. After hearing his story, he decided to help him out rather than give him a ticket he probably couldn’t afford to pay. Instead, he followed Baldwin back to his house, then gave him a ride to the job interview. In the end, Baldwin was only a few minutes late.“He was polite when I pulled him over and he seemed like a good young man, so I wanted to give him a chance,” Gemoules added to NBC News. "I knew if I gave him a bunch of tickets and towed his car, it would be tough to recover from."“I was shocked that he actually gave me a ride to the interview. Normally cops, from where I’m from, they don’t really do stuff like that. It meant everything to me. It brought my spirits up,” Baldwin explained to GMA.How a Police Officer Helped Turn a Man’s Luck AroundAs it turns out, Gemoules’ offer of help did more than pick up a young guy’s spirits -- it also helped him land the job. Baldwin later posted about the entire experience on Facebook in a post that went viral. And when he learned that he had been hired, he sent Gemoules a DM to thank him again."I never looked at police in a negative manner or in a positive manner," Baldwin added to NBC News. "I never looked at them in any manner. But this just made me give them more respect than I did before."It meant everything to me. It brought my spirits up.Ka’Shawn BaldwinGemoules, meanwhile, was celebrated by his department for his kind actions, and the mayor of Cahokia also thanked him for showing compassion and putting community first. “I’m very proud of Officer Gemolus and the outstanding judgment and decision-making that he used in helping this young man,” Mayor Curtis McCall Jr. said.How a Police Officer Proved Leading With Your Heart Can Be InspiringWe all know the law’s the law, but sometimes good people find themselves in unfortunate circumstances with no other options. Legally, Gemoules could have very well given Baldwin a ticket, and it could have resulted in him missing that job interview, not to mention the fact he would have yet another bill to pay.Sometimes, as Gemoules proved, it really is better to give people a pass. Whether you intentionally forget how a friend or relative owes you some money, you let a parent with impatient kids cut in line at a grocery store, or you forgive a friend for being snappy after they’ve had a bad day, there are many ways to practice compassion in our everyday lives as well.As this story reminds us, it’s a lot easier for everyone if sometimes we forgo that black-and-white view in favour of those softer shades of grey.More from Goalcast:Police Officer Intends to Ticket a Parked Car – But the Surprising Note the Driver Had Left for Him Changes His MindStruggling Mom Has Parking Tickets Worth $460 – Judge Asks Her to Pay Only $200, Then Changes His MindJudge Calls Single Mom “Irresponsible” for Her 14 Parking Tickets – Then She Made a Plea That Changed His Mind

Dead Set on Living: How Going "Straight Edge" Manifested Greatness for Liam Cormier
Goalcast Originals

Dead Set on Living: How Going "Straight Edge" Manifested Greatness for Liam Cormier

At 39, Liam Cormier is at the top of his game. As the singer and a founding member of punk bandCancer Bats, which he started in 2004 with guitarist Scott Middleton, Cormier has brought his musical dreams to fruition. The Canadian band has released six critically-acclaimed albums, snagged five JUNO nominations (the Canadian equivalent of a Grammy) and toured extensively around the globe. And it all started with one important decision -- a fundamental change Cormier made early in his career to become the best possible version of himself.“I just wasn’t happy,” Cormier tells me when we meet backstage at Heavy Montréal, as he’s getting ready to perform in front of a rowdy festival crowd. “I just thought, ‘This isn’t a positive place for me to be.’”The year was 2001...The aspiring musician hadn’t yet started Cancer Bats, but he was already involved in the music scene. It's a scene that often includes endless partying and excess, but he found that the drinking and drugs just weren't cutting it anymore for him.That's when he discovered straight edge — a punk subculture that stays away from drinking, smoking, and doing drugs — and was inspired to make a change. It wasn't easy to eliminate the "party" elements of his rock star lifestyle“It was definitely a process and there were a lot of positive decisions that I [needed to make] within that,” he admits. Remembering the moment he decided to seize a new way of life, Cormier recalls: "I looked around and saw people who were straight edge who were working on bands, creating art and wanting to go on tour and I thought, ‘OK, sick! This is 100% what I want to dive into and focus my energies on.’"Cormier jumped all in, packing up his life in Waterloo and moving 300 miles to Ottawa to be closer to his newfound tribe. “I decided I’m moving to Ottawa and I’m going to change my whole situation,” he recalls. “I decided I’m straight edge, I’m not doing this anymore, I want to take my musical life more seriously, make this my actual focus and gravitate towards these people who are into this as well.”He devoted himself wholeheartedly, which he cites as a major key to his successful mental shift. “I think if I was on the fence [I might have failed], but for me, straight edge was so associated with positivity and I was just so excited about all of it,” he explains. “The language of straight edge is forever — that’s what I really loved about it.” Unexpected side effects Cormier’s newfound lifestyle soon began manifesting positive change across all aspects of his life, which in turn gave him the drive to keep going. As he reveals, past his second year, being around any sort of temptation became a “non-issue.” First, there was his career“I don’t understand how people are able to tour and drink,” he says. “Drinking and smoking were just so hard on my voice. I couldn’t even begin to imagine touring as hard as we did if I was also trying to party and drink and all of the things that would be associated with that.”His finances didn’t hate him either “You don't think about that when you’re spending money on booze or spending money on cigarettes, but you’re also spending money on feeling better after you’ve destroyed yourself,” he points out. “I realized I could buy a cool BMX bike instead, which I couldn’t even have imagined affording before. I actually blew all of my money on records at that point — it was great!” he laughs. “I still have those CDs.”Most rewarding of all were the meaningful relationships he finally built“I think you do gravitate towards [similar] people,” he starts. “Especially when you become busy, you’re like, ‘Well, I don’t have time if all we’re going to do is talk about nonsense.’ I don't have time to talk about Danzig at seven in the morning with a bunch of people doing cocaine. I know Danzig is great — I can skip over that part and go to bed at two,” he quips. “You become more realistic with your time and so, naturally, you’re going to make more time for those people who are having realer conversations.”Dead set on living It’s been nearly two decades since Cormier first decided to become straight edge, but it’s still opening his eyes to valuable life lessons. When one of his best friends, famed chef Matty Matheson, struggled with substance abuse, resulting in a heart attack at age 29, Cormier was there to support his friend by opening both his heart and his mind. “I was living with him when that all happened,” says Cormier, thinking back to that dark period in 2012, which sparked an entire album and a new mantra: Dead Set on Living. "It was me being able to deal with it,” he says of the writing process. “Me being able to wrap my brain around some of these conversations that we were having and showing my friend how much it meant to me.”“That’s how I learned about the 12 Step Program, from talking to Matty about it, and there’s so much about the step work that I think is great for everyone to keep in mind,” he notes. “I feel like there was a point where, for me, I almost used straight edge as [an out], like, ‘I’m fine, I’m straight edge, I’ve done the work,’ but then you learn about these other things that no one’s talked to you about, like step work or Inner Quest, and you realize there’s still so much stuff that you need to come to peace with in your own life,” Cormier explains.“We should never stop looking at why we interact with people in certain ways and how we can use this as a starting point,” he elaborates. “I think of sobriety so much differently now where it’s just the beginning. Let’s move on to bigger ideas. Let’s move on beyond money and let’s move on to how we treat each other.”Some of that change is already happening: “We’re in more of a culture now where people want to talk about mental health."Cormier continues: “Male suicide is something that’s finally being talked about. [Before it was], ‘You’re not allowed to talk about mental health as a man’ and it’s like, no, you’re just a person with a brain. You can have trauma that you haven’t dealt with that’s now the reason why you’re drinking. But you have to admit that you have this trauma before you can look at why you’re even wanting to drink as a release. "I think we’re finally in a world where we’re actually taking some of that stuff seriously.”The most valuable lessonAmidst everything that Cormier has learned through his own journey, there’s one early lesson that stands out, which helped put everything into perspective. “A big thing for me was realizing that I was still having just as much fun,” he states. “I was still doing the exact same things, but the hangover side of it wasn’t slowing me down the next day or derailing me. I wasn’t missing out on any opportunities.” Because the most valuable opportunities are the ones you’re bold enough to make for yourself.

Five Minutes With: Kesha, the Pop Superstar Who Has Been Known to Rescue Cats from the Streets of Russia
Celebrities

Five Minutes With: Kesha, the Pop Superstar Who Has Been Known to Rescue Cats from the Streets of Russia

Can Kesha teach a lesson about humanity? Between the mane of rainbow-colored hair, over-the-top outfits and tattoos so bold they have entire articles written about them, Kesha Rose Sebert screams the rockstar that she is. But what if at her core, the outspoken artist is just a cat lady who loves her fans more than anything? “How did the Key-sha interview go?” my dad asked after I recently interviewed Kesha. I couldn’t believe I was talking about her with my father, a farmer in Montana. Sure, I know about Kesha’s eating disorder history and her highly publicized legal battle with Dr. Luke, the producer she accuses of sexually assaulting her. However, I never sought out information about her. I read the headlines, but I never bought the magazines. Kesha seemed too crazy, too hard to relate to. Still, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to attend a private Kesha concert hosted by Hilton Honors at a Miami Beach mansion. I’ve interviewed celebrities before, but I was bracing myself for Kesha to be the diva I’d built her up to be in my mind. RELATED: How to Tell Someone Is Toxic In the First 5 Minutes Of Meeting Them “Thank you for asking!” That was the first thing Kesha said when I asked a question. Come again? I was being thanked for intruding into her free time. No one was paying her to talk to Goalcast, she must have had a million other things she could have been doing before getting on stage. “I’m so humbled at how amazing my fans are,” the 31-year-old Nashville native said when I asked about her packed schedule. “I love the experience of playing to small, intimate crowds so it’s exciting Hilton Honors is holding a show like this.” Kesha described how she prefers to play to a small crowd because she can “feel and hear” the audience more. To her, it’s like playing for friends. In fact, the more I tried to get Kesha to open up about herself, the more she kept talking about her fans. As a former PR person responsible for media-training spokespeople, I cringed. Interviewees are supposed to promote themselves. At this point in her career, Kesha’s talking points should be about her documentary, “Rainbow - The Film,” which had just been released. Instead, Kesha was talking about tattoos, and unfortunately for the journalist in me, not her own infamous tattoos. “When I have the time my favorite thing to do is go out to visit with my fans,” she explained before giving an unprecedented warning. “I’ve been known to give fans tattoos with my tattoo gun that I carry with me almost anywhere. So, if you want to hang out after a show, just be sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.” In other words, there are people out there walking around with permanent ink on their bodies, bestowed by their idol. But Kesha doesn’t consider herself an idol, especially when she’s touring. “We are more like a roving tribe than a normal group on business,” Kesha said when I asked about life on the road. “When I’m with my tribe, I’m at home.” Besides family and friends—she says “her man,” Brad Ashenfelter, is always by her side—Kesha’s tribe includes cats. In a 2010 interview with PEOPLE, Kesha divulged that her fur babies occupy an entire floor, including a master bedroom, in her Nashville home. Although she's had cats for years, in July 2012, the singer's life was forever changed when she met Mr. Peep$. "The OG godfather kitty is Mr. Peep$ who I found in an alleyway behind a strip club like 50 years ago," Kesha recalled. (In reality, it was July, 2012, but she really did rescue Mr. Peep$ outside of a strip club, in Russia of all places.) "He was a cute little baby when I found him and now he weighs about 67 pounds and has a gut that drags on the ground." Mr. Peep$, whose Twitter account profile reads "I'm really cute but I'm also really bad," is probably the only Siamese on the planet who wears a cat-sized backstage pass on a laminated lanyard. While he makes a cameo in the music video for "Crazy Kids" and used to tour with Kesha (who fittingly calls her fans "animals"), he's since retired. "Now, when I come home he sometimes gives me the cold shoulder for a little while," Kesha admitted before adding that he even bites her but "that's his normal charming attitude." Mr. Peep$ eventually warms up and comes around for cuddling, but in the meantime, there are other cats competing for the singer's attention. “The most relaxing thing for me is lounging around with my three massive kitties and listening to my favorite records. Nothing relaxes me like petting kitties and listening to rock and roll.” "My man and I have three cat children. Charlie and Queso are both Maine Coons. Which means they are basically domesticated bobcats that live in my house,” Kesha explained before adding that they’re so big she sometimes feels like she’s on safari in Africa. “The most relaxing thing for me is lounging around with my three massive kitties and listening to my favorite records. Nothing relaxes me like petting kitties and listening to rock and roll." Still, a celebrity like Kesha, who used to spell her name with a dollar sign instead of the letter “s,” has to have an active nightlife life. Since we were in Miami, I asked her about her favorite spots to hit up in the city. Surprisingly, her response didn’t include any 21+ and over establishments. “The beach!” Kesha answered without hesitation. “I love the ocean and especially in Miami I love how you can go out in the middle of the night and the water is so pleasant and warm.” Kesha then cautioned me against taking a midnight swim in the Pacific, saying it “might get super chilly.” RELATED: The Best Places to Travel Alone If You Want to Find Yourself Kesha closed out the interview by being concerned for me, a nosy reporter she’d probably never see again. What kind of rockstar does that? The kind named Kesha, or as my dad would say, “Key-sha.”

Five Minutes With: Jay Williams, Inspiring NBA Superstar Who Overcame All Odds
Self-Development

Five Minutes With: Jay Williams, Inspiring NBA Superstar Who Overcame All Odds

Jay Williams was one of the brightest college basketball stars of a generation, winning the National Championship with Duke in 2001 and being named National Player of the Year in 2002. But his life turned on a dime in 2003. Not long after being drafted in the first round by the Chicago Bulls, the 21 year old suffered a devastating motorcycle accident where he nearly lost his left leg. While the injury derailed Williams’ playing career, it also served as an opportunity for him to pivot. The blessing in disguise has allowed him to find success as an ESPN analyst, a motivational speaker and now a New York Times’ best-selling author. He's also featured in an eight-part YouTube Original documentary series, Best Shot, which is executive produced by LeBron James and Maverick Carter. As he finished up his role in the series, we caught up with Williams to talk about what he learned from his life-changing experience. Goalcast: What was your mindset like right after the injury? Did your life kind of flash before your eyes? Jay Williams: For any 21 one year old, their life would flash before their eyes when they almost kill themselves. I don’t think I had a mindset after my injury. I was lost. RELATED: Why Embracing Your Challenges Will Intensify Your Mental Strength Everything that I had worked my entire life for and that I had finally achieved was suddenly gone and it was because of my doing to myself, not a random accident or somebody else’s mistake. It was my mistake. It was as if I was hovering in space. I had no idea where I was or how to plant my feet because I had no idea who I was anymore. GC: How difficult was it going from being so healthy, strong and athletically gifted to being limited physically? JW: My hand speed is still really fast and my first step is really fast -- in some ways I still feel like that player I was when I was younger. I feel like I can relate to everyone in that our bodies naturally change as we get older. For me, it just happened a lot sooner. When you see something on the court, the 20-year-old body in me would’ve jumped on it. After my injury, I had a 45-year-old body at 21. If I would see something, by the time I jumped on it, they’ve already made two moves. I had to accept my new body and learn how to recalibrate and readjust. It taught me a valuable lesson that everyone needs to learn. You may not be able to do things the same way as you did a year ago, but that doesn't mean you can’t be effective. GC: A lot of people get down following a serious injury. Whether it’s a CrossFitter tweaking a shoulder or a casual soccer player tearing an ACL, it’s hard not to feel like your body has let you down a little bit. What advice do you have for someone who is in that mind state? JW: Life is all about perspective. It’s easy for people to have a limited perspective when you’re going through something like an injury. There’s a tendency to let your mind drift to the negative. If you are forced to have a moment where you have to stop, try to surround yourself with as much positive trajectory as possible. Think about what you’re going to do and how you’re going to do it. Put together a strategy, and yes that strategy will change as you’re going through it. Focus your mind on the solution instead of what happened or why you are stuck. Everyone will have that “why me” moment, but the more you’re stuck to it, the more you’ll start giving excuses. The quicker you can strategize how you to get out of it, the faster you can advance towards your goal. GC: What’s the key to recovering from serious injury from a physical perspective? JW: You have to play the game within the game, within the game. We are metric driven people and like to see outcome. When I came out of my injury, I wanted to gain full flexibility of my knee. My leg was straight for eight months, so I had to do a series of small goals to meet my end goal of full flexibility. You have to create building blocks to reach your main target. GC: And what about mentally? Some people wonder if they’ll ever be normal again whereas you recovered and more. JW: You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. Every company has a board that meets regularly to discuss with the CEO where the company was, where it is now and where it’s going in the future. If you’re the CEO, who is on your board? Your board is the different verticals of your life. Is your physical therapist on your board? Surround yourself with uplifting people. Find those who have gone through a similar recovery to yours and start a text chain. You are the sum of those around you. I continue to surround myself with people who will help better me as a person. GC: Sometimes success isn’t how we envision it. For you, maybe at the time, you figured you’d get back on the court and thrive again but looking at your life now, you’re successful in a completely different realm. Can you share some advice on kind of rolling with the punches a little bit, taking what life gives you but still finding a way to succeed -- even if it isn’t how you originally envisioned? JW: When I was 13 years old playing in the 17 and up league, my basketball team had a chance to play against a team with all these great players. I was 13 and they were all 17 and I was getting my head smashed in. We were down 40 points in the second quarter and my coach called a time out. I was defeated and he told me, “you will never quit. This is a learning opportunity -- this is a learning opportunity for me and most importantly for you. Are you going to quit because you are getting your head smashed in?” It forced me to find a way to get back into this game as if we were tied and really fight for it. This is what life is all about. I don’t measure success the same way others might. Someone said I’m not really a success story because I didn’t come back to the NBA. I said, “why did I need to come back to the NBA to be a success story?” I’m a success story because I found a way through psychologically. I see success stories as going through experiences that help you learn about where you want to be and the person you want to be. GC: Can you talk about your depression and the darkness? How did you get through it? JW: The biggest part of my depression wasn’t about me, it was more so about the people around me that I let down. It was the sensation of looking at the people I cared most about in my life, who sacrificed the most for me to get to where I was. I had to own the feeling that I was the reason we weren’t all able to achieve what I was about to achieve. I watched my mother and father work so hard every day and accomplish so much. I went from being able to provide for my family like never before to being laid down on my back and not having any functionality of my legs. It was a humbling, scary, depressing, emotional roller coaster of feelings. Who really knows who they are when they’re 21 years old? It’s an ongoing process for us all, so at such a young age to be known my entire life for what I did and not really reflect on who I was or what I stood for felt like being lost in space. The most challenging part was the vulnerability with the sense of being lost. You start picking up the pieces by re-diagraming the puzzle. I had to take something negative and turn it into something positive. I was chasing this person who I was before, but that’s not who I am now. This was my opportunity to have a fresh start and realign myself with some pillars that I want to stand for in my life. The subtle change in my mindset was what made a difference for me. GC: If you could go back in time and change things -- prevent the accident, change the course of your life -- would you do that? JW: No, I wouldn’t change a thing. My life has happened exactly the way it’s supposed to happen. I would not be the person I am today, trying to impact change to the degree that I’m doing it if I hadn’t gotten hurt. I don’t know if I would’ve had the mental capacity to be this aware at 36 if I hadn’t gone through the hell I went through to get to today. GC: In general, if you could offer three keys to success, what would they be? JW: Most importantly, you have to understand your why. Your “why” can change throughout different stages of life. You have to know why you want to wake up each day. Second, your board is important. If you understand your why, you need to surround yourself with people who understand your why. They are your board. Finally, while you’re on this course and you understand your why and develop your board, always take time out of each and every day to stop and think about why you’re here. Think about things that have happened throughout the course of your day. It’s easy to get lost in the glitz and glamor or the muck of life. It’s important to take just ten minutes to quietly think about what has happened throughout the your day, the people who have come into your life, or just stop to hear the wind blow the leave. If you don’t take that moment to stop and think, why are you even here?

We Spoke to Pro Climber Sasha DiGiulian About Overcoming Mental Obstacles
Mental Health

We Spoke to Pro Climber Sasha DiGiulian About Overcoming Mental Obstacles

Climbing a mountain is often used as an analogy of taking steps toward success. For professional climber Sasha DiGiulian, it’s both a metaphor and a reality as she scales some of the biggest faces in the world.While climbing may seem like it’s mostly a physical exercise, as DiGiulian tells us, you have to be impeccably strong mentally to make it to the top.After a scenic drive from Denver to Vail, we caught up with her at the GoPro Mountain Games in Vail Colorado, an event sponsored by GMC. Here is some of the wisdom she shared with us:Goalcast: What attracts you to climbing?Sasha DiGiulian: There are so many reasons that I love climbing. For one, it’s an input-output formula: what you put into it is what you get out. It’s a mental and physical experience.You are not only working your body but also your mind, to solve these puzzle pieces of what enables you to get to the top. It’s also an amazing gateway to experience the outdoors.GC: It’s easy to see a lot of the physical challenge you face but what are some of the mental ones?SDG: Not knowing if you’re capable of doing something. When you’re trying to climb, initially it can feel impossible.And the mountain is going to be standing there whether or not you succeed, so you’re constantly fighting with yourself. You’re not competing with anyone else except these natural elements and yourself.GC: How do you mentally prepare yourself when you get ready to climb?SDG:I’m on the Red Bull team and we recently had a Performance under Pressure camp, which was all about training the mental side for sports performance.What’s helped a lot is ice baths and breathing exercises, learning to control my heart rate and learning to be in control of my mind.It’s practicing recreating tense situations – like interacting with a grizzly bear or machine gun drills that we did, for example – and using the skills that we learned, so when I’m out there climbing, I have the skills to be mentally strong.GC: Your job requires a lot of your mind and body, so you constantly have to be ‘on’ and engaged. How do you like to turn it off and recharge? SDG: I definitely recharge by having moments of solitude. I see my job as being this externally focused, engaged personality whether it’s climbing or the public relations part of the job.When I’m home, I like to meditate on my own. I use Headspace, which is a cool app. I also like yoga.GC: Do you ever have the fear of failure and how do you deal with it?SDG: For sure. The fear of failure exists in all of us. It’s just about how we deal with it. There are days where I feel weighed down, like I don’t even know what I’m doing. Thoughts roll around like “what’s the point of climbing?” or “what’s the significance to me?”How I recommend to get through it is to bring it back to what are you passionate about doing? And what you believe in. Then I remember that where I feel most at home and where I feel most confident about myself is just climbing and not thinking about those negative “why” questions, which aren’t helpful.GC: A lot of people are scared to step outside of their boundaries because they might fail or fall short of their goal. What advice do you have for people who are thinking like that?SDG:If you’re afraid of stepping beyond your boundaries because you’re afraid to fail, the truth is you’ll never know until you try. You can stay in a state of stagnancy and not really change anything or you can expose yourself to failure and then expose yourself to success.GC: I’ve been in a GMC Sierra Denali for the weekend and I’ve been immersed in the culture for a few days now, taking in the epic scenery, listening to some rock climbing podcasts on the Apple Car Play and watching you work in The Rockies. Although you have a cool line of work that many people would trade their desk job for, everyone has stresses that aren’t always visible. What are some of the things that stress you out? SDG:What stresses me out is when I have bad days and I feel like I’m not where I want to be physically or where I need to be mentally. That ranges from my personal life to my professional life. I think we all have our ups and downs, and that’s normal. What I’ve learned is to be kind to yourself and accept the process to life. That’s the key.

We Asked Arianna Huffington for Tips to Stop Self-Sabotage and Build Healthy Relationships
Self-Development

We Asked Arianna Huffington for Tips to Stop Self-Sabotage and Build Healthy Relationships

Of course you want to succeed – who doesn't? But there's this teeny tiny part inside each one of us that – for some reason or another – doesn't want to. This behavior is called self-sabotage. Arianna Huffington, writer, motivator, CEO of wellness company Thrive Global and co-founder of The Huffington Post, is undoubtedly successful. And she recognizes how easy it is to both sabotage ourselves and our relationships. Huffington is leading the charge against smartphones and social media – both of which can deprive us of sleep, encourage procrastination and cause us to ignore those closest to us. The thing is, those closest to us are our best weapon to stop self-sabotaging ourselves. Huffington's campaign comes at a convenient time. Facebook has come under immense scrutiny following the Cambridge Analytica scandal, causing many to #DeleteFacebook. Maybe while we take a break from Facebook for privacy reasons, we should also take a break from our smartphones altogether? Goalcast spoke to Huffington about overcoming anxiety, self-sabotage and unplugging. Goalcast: How do you know when your personal relationships are in trouble? What are the signs? Arianna Huffington: Everybody’s relationships are different, so there’s no one-size-fits-all diagnosis. But since all relationships involve two parties and mutual consent, if one of you thinks there’s a problem, there’s a problem. G: How can people overcome self-sabotage? AH: I call that inner voice of negativity and self-sabotage the “obnoxious roommate” living in our heads. It's the one that tells you you're not good enough, you'll never succeed, who are you to be trying this? And it’s incredibly important to learn to recognize it and then ignore it. It’s not easy, but one thing that helps more than anything is surrounding myself with people who make up what I call my Thrive Tribe – people who will always be in my corner, always there for me, whether I succeed or fail. G: What's your biggest trigger for anxiety? How can you read the signs? AH: Sleep deprivation is a big one. And the signs are pretty easy to read: when I don’t get enough sleep, I’m more reactive, more irritable, less present and generally less joyful. G: What's the most underrated thing people can do right now to improve their relationships? AH: Unplug from your phone and connect more often with each other. Our screens are often like third wheels in a relationship – diverting not just our attention but also our sense of connection with each other. G: When did you first realize that your phone was hurting your personal relationships? AH: There was no one moment, but my realization of the phone’s impact on my life has grown in the last few years, as phones have become more sophisticated and powerful in demanding our attention. G: Do you think companies like Facebook should limit our access to technology, or is it our responsibility to limit it ourselves? AH: They’re not exclusive. As an increasing number of voices are pointing out, there are changes that the tech world could make that would make it easier for us to have a healthy relationship to technology. [...] At the same time, we don’t have to wait on the Facebooks of the world to bring about the changes we need. There are choices we can make and changes we can implement that can lead to real improvements right now. We are not powerless! One is to seek out technology – and there’s a growing amount of it – that's designed to help us create boundaries and have a healthier relationship with technology. This is going to be one of the next frontiers in technology – apps and tools that helps us use the technology in our lives to enhance our humanity.