We Asked Arianna Huffington for Tips to Stop Self-Sabotage and Build Healthy Relationships

Of course you want to succeed – who doesn't? But there's this teeny tiny part inside each one of us that – for some reason or another – doesn't want to. This behavior is called self-sabotage.

Arianna Huffington, writer, motivator, CEO of wellness company Thrive Global and co-founder of The Huffington Post, is undoubtedly successful. And she recognizes how easy it is to both sabotage ourselves and our relationships.

Huffington is leading the charge against smartphones and social media – both of which can deprive us of sleep, encourage procrastination and cause us to ignore those closest to us.

The thing is, those closest to us are our best weapon to stop self-sabotaging ourselves.

Huffington's campaign comes at a convenient time. Facebook has come under immense scrutiny following the Cambridge Analytica scandal, causing many to #DeleteFacebook. Maybe while we take a break from Facebook for privacy reasons, we should also take a break from our smartphones altogether?

Goalcast spoke to Huffington about overcoming anxiety, self-sabotage and unplugging.

Goalcast: How do you know when your personal relationships are in trouble? What are the signs?

Arianna Huffington: Everybody’s relationships are different, so there’s no one-size-fits-all diagnosis. But since all relationships involve two parties and mutual consent, if one of you thinks there’s a problem, there’s a problem.  

G: How can people overcome self-sabotage? 

AH: I call that inner voice of negativity and self-sabotage the “obnoxious roommate” living in our heads. It's the one that tells you you're not good enough, you'll never succeed, who are you to be trying this? And it’s incredibly important to learn to recognize it and then ignore it. It’s not easy, but one thing that helps more than anything is surrounding myself with people who make up what I call my Thrive Tribe – people who will always be in my corner, always there for me, whether I succeed or fail.

G: What's your biggest trigger for anxiety? How can you read the signs?

AH: Sleep deprivation is a big one. And the signs are pretty easy to read: when I don’t get enough sleep, I’m more reactive, more irritable, less present and generally less joyful.

G: What's the most underrated thing people can do right now to improve their relationships?

AH: Unplug from your phone and connect more often with each other. Our screens are often like third wheels in a relationship – diverting not just our attention but also our sense of connection with each other.

G: When did you first realize that your phone was hurting your personal relationships?

AH: There was no one moment, but my realization of the phone’s impact on my life has grown in the last few years, as phones have become more sophisticated and powerful in demanding our attention. 

G: Do you think companies like Facebook should limit our access to technology, or is it our responsibility to limit it ourselves?

AH: They’re not exclusive. As an increasing number of voices are pointing out, there are changes that the tech world could make that would make it easier for us to have a healthy relationship to technology. [...]

At the same time, we don’t have to wait on the Facebooks of the world to bring about the changes we need. There are choices we can make and changes we can implement that can lead to real improvements right now. We are not powerless!

One is to seek out technology – and there’s a growing amount of it – that's designed to help us create boundaries and have a healthier relationship with technology. This is going to be one of the next frontiers in technology – apps and tools that helps us use the technology in our lives to enhance our humanity.