Miss Kansas Publicly Calls Out Her Abuser In The Audience
25-year-old Alexis Smith was officially crowned Miss Kansas earlier this month. She beat out 25 contestants to become the third Black woman to ever win the title.
And while these accomplishments are to be admired, it's her empowering message to her abusive ex who had the gall to sit in the audience that makes her the real winner.
Beauty Pageant Participant Takes Down Her Abuser In Epic On-Stage Declaration
As a victim of domestic abuse, Alexis knows first-hand the devastating impact it can have on someone's life. Too often shrouded in secrecy and shame, the pageant contestant decided to use her platform to bring awareness to domestic violence.
Dubbing it her "Reclaimed Respect Initiative," she spoke about it during the interview phase of the competition.
It didn't go down as she expected.
Because as it turns out, the literal face of her trauma was sitting in the audience, obviously trying to intimidate her and cow her into silence.
But instead of letting her abusive ex silence her, she spoke out. And in doing so, reclaimed her voice and power in an incredible display of courage that has the world applauding.
"My vision as the next Miss Kansas is to eliminate unhealthy and abusive relationships," Smith boldly declared.
"Matter of fact, some of you out in this audience saw me very emotional because my abuser is here today, but that's not going to stop me from being on this Miss Kansas stage and from representing as the next Miss Kansas because I and my community deserve healthy relationships."
Not only did the cardiothoracic ICU nurse NOT let it stop her, but she WON! And she will be representing the sunflower state at next year's Miss America pageant.
Literal QUEEN.
Her Empowering Message Goes Viral
@lexlex_smith Respect Reclaimed is about reclaiming your power and standing firmly in it. On the night of Miss Kansas, my journey took an unexpected turn when someone I have been healing from tried to disrupt my peace. Instead of falling into silence, I chose to live out my vision for a better world. I took back my power—not just for myself, but for my dreams and everyone watching and listening. This isn't about shunning others; it's about turning our pain into purpose and channeling it in a way that unifies and uplifts. I'm ready to use my story, tools, and resources to end unhealthy relationships in all forms. My voice and advocacy will empower everyone to reclaim their own power in their own unique way. I might be small in stature, but I stand tall in strength, purpose, and power with hopes of inspiring others to do the same. #fyp #abuse #miss #misskansas #missamerica #pageant #awareness #me #relationship #respect #tiktok
Smith shared a video clip of her message across her social media channels where it has gone viral, gaining widespread support.
"On the night of Miss Kansas, my journey took an unexpected turn when someone I have been healing from tried to disrupt my peace," Smith wrote in the caption.
"Instead of falling into silence, I chose to live out my vision for a better world. I took back my power — not just for myself, but for my dreams and everyone watching and listening."
And while she didn't directly name her abuser, she did provide some insight into who it is in an interview with CBS affiliate, KSNW.
“My family, every single woman in my family, was impacted by domestic violence,” she said. “At the age of 14, I got in my first relationship, but it was also an abusive relationship that I was in until about 2018, 2019."
"It’s something that I’m still experiencing and dealing with today.”
Her journey with domestic violence has run the full gamut; from being a bystander, a victim, a survivor, and now an advocate who is "ready to use my story, tools, and resources to end unhealthy relationships in all forms."
"This isn't about shunning others; it's about turning our pain into purpose and channeling it in a way that unifies and uplifts," Smith continued. "I might be small in stature, but I stand tall in strength, purpose, and power with hopes of inspiring others to do the same."
She already is.
"As a survivor, this moved me. thank you for using your voice. you just gave strength to many you'll never meet 💜," wrote one commenter.
"YAS GIRL! As a fellow survivor, you are an inspiration and I’m so proud of you for using your voice and showing your strength," wrote another.
A third shared, "As a victim of domestic violence I applaud you for speaking out!! I watched this 10 times!! I'm still getting bullied by his parents even with a no contact order. I plan on helping women like us as well."
The Importance of Speaking Out Against Abuse
Domestic violence is shockingly prevalent. According to a report by the CDC, "about 41% of women and 26% of men experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime and reported a related impact."
Additionally, "over 61 million women and 53 million men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime."
Speaking out against domestic abuse is a critical step in breaking the cycle of violence. By giving voice to their experiences, survivors not only reclaim their own power but also pave the way for other victims to stand up and do the same.
If you need help or need help supporting someone else, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788 or chat online at TheHotline.org.
You're Already a Leader: Learning to See Your Impact on the World
“I’m not really a leader.”
Not surprisingly, that is a statement I hear quite a bit as a leadership coach. Many people are so caught up in the day-to-day, the have-to’s, that they completely lose sight of the impact they have on the lives of those around them.
“Well, that’s just what I do.”
This is probably the statement I hear almost as much as “I’m not really a leader.” Whether it’s taking care of a 3-year old toddler or a $30 million-dollar business with a hundred employees (or both simultaneously), people begin to see the work they do as normal. They no longer see the extraordinary ideas, effort, and results that are borne of what they see as small, insignificant tasks.
You're Already a Leader: Learning to See Your Impact on the World
Perhaps you are reading this and seeing yourself in these two statements. You are starting to think about the “little things” you do every day and how they impact yourself, others, and the achievement of much broader goals. You are beginning to realize not only how your actions impact others, but that what and how you do those things are unique and special to you. This is your moment of leadership awareness.
See your goals
Many people have goals they can rattle off without much difficulty: a successful career or business. A happy family. Fulfilling relationships. All of these are wonderful and admirable goals.
Yet how much do we truly see our goals? By “seeing" our goals, I mean seeing them for what they really mean to you. What do your goals ultimately say about what you want for your life and the lives of those around you? Goals are not just finish lines off in the distance that you're trying to reach. They are a reflection of who you are, what is important to you, and what you are working towards becoming in the future. Your goals are you. It may not seem like it, but when you sit down and list out all your goals and aspirations, take a moment to see them not as tasks and to-do’s, but instead as a reflection of yourself.
READ: Finding Your Why: How to Discover Your Professional Purpose
Leadership is the ability to motivate and inspire others to strive towards a common goal. By understanding how the goals you have for your career, your business, your family, or your life reflect who you are, you begin to understand your own motivations for reaching those goals. When you know your own motivations, your purpose, you can better understand how to connect to and inspire others, even if what inspires them is different from you.
Identify your influence on others
Influence can be powerful, whether it is wielded like a sword or whispered like a prayer. Influence doesn’t come to us through a fancy title or a big bank account. We all know people who have one or the other yet who inspire little confidence from those around them. Influence can be earned by your skill and ability to produce results. Influence can also flow from your own authentic passion and commitment. Maybe you don’t have the background and pedigree, but others are inspired by something intangible within you that speaks to their own goals and desires, or to their personal feelings towards you. Think about the influence you have in various parts of your life, and identify what it is that draws others to you. Who do you influence and why do they follow your lead?
Leadership requires understanding where your influence comes from and making sure you use it in a way that is aligned with your authentic self and the goals you want to achieve. When your influence is corrupted by things that are detrimental to your goals, or even more importantly, to the people who trust and believe in you, that influence fades quickly. Whatever the source, influence is never taken. It is given, and can be rescinded when abused.
Conscious leadership
Raising your leadership awareness can be an uncomfortable process. Most of us are not taught to sit back and think to themselves, “Why am I so awesome?” We’re taught that humility and hard work are what yield benefits in our lives and careers. We may say things like “Oh, I didn’t really do much” or “Anyone could have done it.”
Yet to truly be a leader, we must begin to tap into the parts of ourselves that are unique and dynamic. We must consciously embrace that there are special traits within us that are so powerful that they inspire others not only to believe in us, but to take incredible actions that defy their own self-perceived limitations and bring us closer to achieving shared goals.
You are already a leader. Now is the time to recognize your leadership abilities and consciously utilize them to make a difference.