Man Explains Why He Refuses to Help His Wife and 4 Kids Around the House – And Strangers Are Praising Him for It
“I don’t help my wife cook. I don’t help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids — none of that.”
It’s no secret that when it comes to domestic duties such as childcare, cooking, and cleaning, women tend to take on the lion’s share of the work, even when both partners are working full-time.
To be fair, a lot of husbands do shoulder their fair share of the housework, however, let’s face it, many do not. The domestic gender gap is REAL.
So, when a husband took to TikTok to sound off on NOT HELPING his wife with chores and their four young children, people weren’t exactly blown away by surprise.
But what was unexpected was his reason why. And suddenly? This guy’s gone from zero to hero in the eyes of 7 million people and counting.
Why a Husband Doesn’t “Help” His Wife Around the House
Texas UPS driver, J.R. Minton, grew up in a “traditional” household. His mom did typical “motherly” things while his dad brought home the bacon and left the domestic duties alone.
But Minton’s determined to do things differently. The father of four young kids ages one to seven, took to TikTok to share his message on partnership.
His video, which has been viewed by millions, starts off with him contentiously stating, “I don’t help my wife cook. I don’t help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids — none of that.”
Uh-huh. Or, as one commenter expressed, “I was ready to fight 😅👏🏾.” (You and about 7 million other women, give or take.)
But hold on a minute, Minton’s not done. And another commenter’s decision to hold her breath and “trust the algorithm” pays off. Because this is where he jumps the tracks and takes a hard left.
“Because I do what I am supposed to do as a father and a husband. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can’t help my wife do those things because they are my job too.”J.R. Minton
“Change the way you speak. Change the way you think and grow the f— up and be a man,” he adds. Mic drop.
Husband’s TikTok Take On Sharing Responsibilities Goes Viral and People Are Loving It
Response to Minton’s video was swift, racking up 1.4 million likes and nearly 16,000 comments. People came out in droves, praising him for his perspective.
On the flip side, however, it seems that many households still follow conventional gender norms and attitudes, with a number of men viewing doing basic duties as “helping” their partners.
“Had to tell my husband stop saying, ‘…for your mother,’ to the kids. Empty the dishwasher FOR ME? No. Those are everybody’s dishes.” wrote one.
“My ex used to say ‘I did the dishes for you.’ FOR ME! Thanks and bu-bye,” wrote another.
Others revealed that when it comes to domestic labor, they’re on their own. “My husband sometimes doesn’t even flush the toilet.”
“Not me seeing this while crying in the bathroom cause I’m just so damn exhausted.”
In a follow-up TikTok, Minton thanks his fans but warns that he’s not some “unicorn.” He’s a husband and dad, just doing what his wife does every single day. A fact he had driven home during a recent trip to Target.
“I was wearing the baby and I had two kids in the cart, and this lady comes up to Brittany and she’s like, ‘Oh my God. Is this your husband!? Look at him. You should take a picture of him,’” Minton told Today. “I get so much credit for doing nothing. How low is the bar?”
Trust me, it’s low. Society has a tendency to perceive moms and dads VERY differently. Fathers tend to get a lot more credit for showing up as parents in ways that moms are expected to do all the time.
Marriage Is a Partnership
As far as we have come in balancing the scales, the reality is that we still have a long way to go in shifting attitudes and achieving true equality where domestic labor is concerned.
And science proves it. According to a recent study from the Bureau of Labor Statistics American Time Use Survey, women spend 37% more time doing domestic tasks than men.
And if the woman happens to be bringing home the majority of the bacon? They’re actually taking on an even greater share of the housework as per a study from the University of Bath.
Obviously, as Minton proves, this isn’t the case for every family. There are plenty of husbands and fathers who view their marriages in a similar light — as a partnership.
Minton just hopes that his message hits home with the ones he thinks need to hear it.
“When you’re in a partnership with your spouse, it’s not help,” Minton said. “Everything is a shared responsibility in the house when it comes to taking care of each other’s needs, the children’s needs, especially the needs of the home.”
At the end of the day, every family needs to decide what works best for them. And when it comes to the division of domestic labor? It should be what is equitable and fair for both partners.
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