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120 of the Best Anime Quotes of All Time

Anime is a term for animation — either film or TV series— that originated in Japan. Haven't watched anime yet? You're in for a surprise. Unlike many Western cartoons, anime is for all ages. That's frequently reflected not only in the imagery and subject matter but also in the dialogue, which can result in some memorable anime quotes. RELATED: The 6 Best Anime Couples That Are Made for Each Other Why do anime characters have big eyes? Before we get to our list of thought-provoking, related anime quotes, let's cover this trend. Big eyes make it easier to convey nuanced emotions. That, along with other stereotypical — if not necessarily signature — features such as crazy hairstyles are exaggerated traits that help characters to easily express emotions. Anime is so much more than action, fighting, heartbreak, and drama, though. They are also a place where imagination has no boundaries. Aside from the fun and excitement that comes with watching an anime series, the characters usually have some wise and powerful words that can serve as life lessons for viewers. The creators almost always make sure to include real talk about friendship, pain, justice, love, respect, hope, and happiness. Famous Anime QuotesSaitama from One-Punch Man Anime has been popular in Japan since at least the early 1960s. But now, the movies and TV shows have spread across the world, gathering new fans while influencing popular culture around the globe. Even if you haven’t watched any yet, you’ve surely heard about Pokemon or Dragon Ball Z. RELATED: 15 Amazing Female Anime Characters and What Your Favorite Says About You Every anime has a few lines that stick out and make the show even more interesting, so here’s our list of famous anime quotes. You may even find some sad anime quotes. To know sorrow is not terrifying. What is terrifying is to know you can't go back to the happiness you could have. Matsumoto Rangiku (Bleach) If you don’t like your destiny, don’t accept it. Instead, have the courage to change it the way you want it to be. Naruto Uzumaki (Naruto) I’ll leave tomorrow’s problems to tomorrow’s me. Saitama (One-Punch Man) Simplicity is the easiest path to true beauty. Seishuu Handa (Barakamon)Sei Handa from Barakamon A dropout will beat a genius through hard work. Rock Lee (Naruto) Mistakes are not shackles that halt one from stepping forward. Rather, they are that which sustain and grow one’s heart. Mavis Vermillion (Fairy Tail) It’s more important to master the cards you’re holding than to complain about the ones your opponent was dealt. Grimsley (Pokemon) Not giving up on yourself is what’s truly important. That way you don’t end up pathetic. Reiko Mikami (Another) The past is the past. We cannot indulge ourselves in memories and destroy the present. Murata Ken (Kyou Kara Maou!)Jiraiya from Naruto Knowing what it feels to be in pain, is exactly why we try to be kind to others. Jiraiya (Naruto) Whatever you lose, you’ll find it again. But what you throw away you’ll never get back. Himura Kenshin (Rurouni Kenshin) I too will obtain everything that I desire. Not because someone asked me to do it, but because I know in my heart that I have something worth fighting for. Julis Alexia Van Riessfeld (Asterisk War) Hurt me with the truth. But never comfort me with a lie. Erza Scarlet (Fairy Tail) I must study lots of things or I won’t become a great person. Kotomi Ichinose (Clannad) Fake people have an image to maintain. Real people just don’t care. Hachiman Hikigaya (Yahari Ore No Seishun Love Come Wa Machigatteiru) Reject common sense to make the impossible possible. Simon (Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann)Nagato from Naruto If you don’t share someone’s pain, you can never understand them. Nagato (Naruto) If you really want to be strong… Stop caring about what your surrounding thinks of you! Saitama (One Punch Man) Don’t beg for things. Do it yourself, or else you won’t get anything. Renton Thurston (Eureka Seven) Fear is freedom! Subjugation is liberation! Contradiction is truth! Those are the facts of this world! And you will all surrender to them, you pigs in human clothing! Satsuki Kiryuuin (Kill la Kill) We are all like fireworks: we climb, we shine and always go our separate ways and become further apart. But even when that time comes, let’s not disappear like a firework and continue to shine forever. Hitsugaya Toshiro (Bleach)Goku from Dragon Ball Z Power comes in response to a need, not a desire. You have to create that need. Goku (Dragon Ball Z) I want you to be happy. I want you to laugh a lot. I don’t know what exactly I’ll be able to do for you, but I’ll always be by your side. Kagome (InuYasha) Do exactly as you like. That is the true meaning of pleasure. Pleasure leads to joy and joy leads to happiness. Gilgamesh (Fate Zero) How can you move forward if you keep regretting the past? Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood)Hitagi Senjougahara from Bakemonogatari In our society, letting others find out that you’re a nice person is a very risky move. It’s extremely likely that someone would take advantage of that. Hitagi Senjougahara (Bakemonogatari) Do you always want to live hiding behind the mask you put up for the sake of others? You’re you, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Ymir (Attack on Titan) I am the hope of the universe. I am the answer to all living things that cry out for peace. I am the protector of the innocent. I am the light in the darkness. I am the truth. Ally to good! Nightmare to you! Ymir (Attack on Titan)Mugen from Samurai Champloo Don’t live your life making up excuses. The one making your choices is yourself! Mugen (Samurai Champloo) Being lonely is more painful than getting hurt. Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece) If you only face forward, there is something you will miss seeing. Vash the Stampede (Trigun) I hate perfection. To be perfect is to be unable to improve any further. Kurotsuchi Mayuri (Bleach)Motivational Anime QuotesReiko Mikami from Another Some anime series are dedicated to motivating and inspiring viewers. However, even those that weren't created specifically for that purpose still have some great hidden messages waiting for you to discover. RELATED: 100 Motivational & Inspirational Quotes About Life Here are some of the best motivational anime quotes that will teach you to chase your goals and never give up: If you don’t take risks, you can’t create a future! Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece) It’s just pathetic to give up on something before you even give it a shot. Reiko Mikami (Another) There’s no shame in falling down! True shame is to not stand up again! Shintarō Midorima (Kuroko’s Basketball) If you can’t do something, then don’t. Focus on what you can. Shiroe (Log Horizon) Giving up kills people. When people reject giving up… they finally win the right to transcend humanity. Alucard (Hellsing) You can’t sit around envying other people’s worlds. You have to go out and change your own. Shinichi Chiaki (Nodame Cantabile) Every journey begins with a single step. We just have to have patience. Milly Thompson (Trigun) If your life can change once, your life can change again. Sanae Furukawa (Clannad) Being weak is nothing to be ashamed of… Staying weak is!!! Fuegoleon Vermillion (Black Clover)Harumi Kiyama from A Certain Scientific Railgun A teacher doesn’t give up on her students just because things get tough. Harumi Kiyama (A Certain Scientific Railgun) I refuse to let my fear control me anymore. Maka Albarn (Soul Eater) Fear is not evil. It tells you what your weakness is. And once you know your weakness, you can become stronger as well as kinder. Gildarts Clive (Fairy Tail) Anything can happen. No one ever thinks it will until it does. What will happen, happens. That’s how the world is. The most important thing is to not let the tragedy defeat you. To believe that you can get through it. Kyousuke Natsume (Little Busters!)Keima Katsuragi from The World God Only Knows Don’t be upset because of what you can’t do. Do what you do best, live as carefree and optimistically as you can, because some people aren’t able to do that. Keima Katsuragi (The World God Only Knows) Sometimes I do feel like I’m a failure. Like there’s no hope for me. But even so, I’m not gonna give up. Ever! Izuku Midoriya (My Hero Academia) Who decides limits? And based on what? You said you worked hard? Well, maybe you need to work a little harder. Is that really the limit of your strength? Could you of tomorrow beat you today? Instead of giving in, move forward. Saitama (One Punch Man) If you believe in tomorrow and put yourself out there, you can naturally obtain your strength. That’s how you will be able to smile and live strong.” Makarov Dreyar (Fairy Tale) Do not think about other things, there is only one thing you can do. So master that one thing. Do not forget. What you must imagine is always that you, yourself, are the strongest. You do not need outside enemies. For you, the one you have to fight is none other than your own image. Archer (Fate Stay Night) What you can’t accomplish alone, becomes doable when you’re with someone else. Taichi Yaegashi (Kokoro Connect) You should never give up on life, no matter how you feel. No matter how badly you want to give up. Canaan (Canaan)Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood A lesson without pain is meaningless. That’s because no one can gain without sacrificing something. But by enduring that pain and overcoming it, he shall obtain a powerful, unmatched heart. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood) You need to accept the fact that you’re not the best and have all the will to strive to be better than anyone you face. Roronoa Zoro (One Piece) What is right? What is wrong? In this mixed up world, deciding what is right and wrong is not easy. You can’t just go by somebody else’s rules. If you let yourself be controlled like that, you’ll just become a puppet that can’t make decisions on its own. You have to live by your rules. Gintoki Sakata (Gintama) I too will obtain everything that I desire. Not because someone asked me to do it, but because I know in my heart that I have something worth fighting for. Julis Alexia Van Riessfeld (Asterisk War) An excellent leader must be passionate because it’s their duty to keep everyone moving forward. Nico Yazawa (Love Live) Thinking you’re no-good and worthless is the worst thing you can do. Nobito (Doraemon) The moment you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on so long. Natsu Dragneel (Fairy Tail) Hatred and Sorrow are power. They are yours to control. All you have to do is to turn them into strength and use that strength to move forward. Sebastian Michaelis (Black Butler / Kuroshitsuji) If nobody cares to accept you and wants you in this world, accept yourself and you will see that you don’t need them and their selfish ideas. Alibaba Saluja (Magi) A person grows up when he’s able to overcome hardships. Protection is important, but there are some things that a person must learn on his own. Jiraiya (Naruto) No matter how hard or impossible it is, never lose sight of your goal. Monkey D Luffy (One Piece) Life is not a game of luck. If you wanna win, work hard. Sora (No Game No Life) Knowing you’re different is only the beginning. If you accept these differences you’ll be able to get past them and grow even closer. Miss Kobayashi (Dragon Maid) If you win, you live. If you lose, you die. If you don’t fight, you can’t win. Eren Yaeger (Attack on Titan) When you hit the point of no return, that’s the moment it truly becomes a journey. If you can still turn back, it’s not really a journey. Hinata Miyake (A Place Further than the Universe)Anime Quotes About LifeKenshin Himura (Ruroni Kenshin -Meiji Kenkaku Romantan) As stated above, In Japan, anime shows are made for people of all ages. It’s not uncommon for people in their 40s, 50s, or beyond to have a favorite character or series because some anime have very adult themes. RELATED: The Best Quotes from Uncle Iron and His Love of Tea So feel free to enjoy the following inspirational anime quotes about life as they are filled with pure wisdom. You can die anytime, but living takes true courage. Kenshin Himura (Ruroni Kenshin -Meiji Kenkaku Romantan) People’s lives don’t end when they die, it ends when they lose faith. Itachi Uchiha (Naruto) All we can do is live until the day we die. Control what we can…and fly free. Deneil Young (Uchuu Kyoudai or SpaceBrothers) We don’t have to know what tomorrow holds! That’s why we can live for everything we’re worth today! Natsu Dragneel (Fairy Tail) Life comes at a cost. Wouldn’t it be arrogant to die before you’ve repaid that debt? Yuuji Kazami (The Fruit of Grisaia) Whatever you do, enjoy it to the fullest. That is the secret of life. Rider (Fate Zero) The ticket to the future is always open. Vash The Stampede (Trigun) There are no regrets. If one can be proud of one’s life, one should not wish for another chance. Saber (Fate Stay Night) If you just submit yourself to fate, then that’s the end of it. Keiichi Maebara (Higurashi: When They Cry) Moving on doesn’t mean you forget about things. It just means you have to accept what’s happened and continue living. Erza Scarlet (Fairy Tail) You can’t always hold on to the things that are important. By letting them go we gain something else. Kunio Yaobi (Tamako Market) We can’t waste time worrying about the what if’s. Ichigo Kurosaki (Bleach) Alone, you feel nothing but insecurity; that’s why we form guilds, that’s why we have friends. We walk together in order to live a strong life. Makarov Dreyar (Fairy Tail) I don’t want to conquer anything. I just think that the guy with the most freedom in this ocean is the Pirate King! Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece) If you begin to regret, you’ll dull your future decisions and let others make your choices for you. All that’s left for you then is to die. Nobody can foretell the outcome. Each decision you make holds meaning only by affecting your next decision. Erwin Smith (Attack on Titan) Fools who don’t respect the past are likely to repeat it. Nico Robin (One Piece) Don’t be so quick to throw away your life. No matter how disgraceful or embarrassing it may be, you need to keep struggling to find your way out until the very end. Clare (Claymore) The circumstances of one’s birth are irrelevant, but it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. Takeshi Shudo (Pokemon) People with talent often have the wrong impression that things will go as they think. Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom) Just like games, no matter how well you have things lined up in your life, there’s always something to keep you on your toes. Junichirou Kagami (Denpa Kyoushi) It’s not always possible to do what we want to do, but it’s important to believe in something before you actually do it. Might Guy (Naruto)Jet Black from Cowboy Bebop Everything has a beginning and an end. Life is just a cycle of starts and stops. There are ends we don’t desire, but they’re inevitable, we have to face them. It’s what being human is all about. Jet Black (Cowboy Bebop) Life and death are like light and shadow. They’re both always there. But people don’t like thinking about death, so subconsciously, they always look away from it. Yato (Noragami) You can’t win a game by doing nothing. And if someone else wins it for you then you haven’t accomplished anything. Life is the same way. Junichirou Kagami (Denpa Kyoushi) Life is like a tube of toothpaste. When you’ve used all the toothpaste down to the last squeeze, that’s when you’ve really lived. Live with all your might, and struggle as long as you have life. Mion Sonozaki (Higurashi)Deep Anime QuotesOtonashi Yuzuru from Angel Beats Though the anime shows come in cartoon form, some will really make you stop and think. They frequently raise serious moral and philosophical questions. It’s not just entertainment as the viewer will often be surprised by subjects that tackle real-life-issues of justice, morality, and philosophy. RELATED: How The Grinch Stole Christmas' Most Memorable Grinch Quotes Here’s our list of deep anime quotes that will absolutely impress you: Even if we forget the faces of our friends, We will never forget the bonds that were carved into our souls. Otonashi Yuzuru (Angel Beats) People become stronger because they have memories they can’t forget. Tsunade (Naruto) Protecting someone means giving them a place to belong. Giving them a place where they can be happy. Princess Lenessia (Log Horizon) If you wanna make people dream, you’ve gotta start by believing in that dream yourself! Seiya Kanie (Amagi Brilliant Park) When you give up, that’s when the game ends. Mitsuyoshi Anzai (Slam Dunk) Forgetting is like a wound. The wound may heal, but it has already left a scar. Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece)Juuzou Suzuya from Tokyo Ghoul Why should I apologize for being a monster? Has anyone ever apologized for turning me into one? Juuzou Suzuya (Tokyo Ghoul) Tears are how our heart speaks when your lips cannot describe how much we’ve been hurt. Jellal Fernandes (Fairy Tail) The world isn’t perfect. But it’s there for us, doing the best it can….that’s what makes it so damn beautiful. Roy Mustang (Full Metal Alchemist) The only home that a man should ever need is within his heart. Lavi Bookman (D.Gray Man) If you keep on hiding your true feelings, who is going to be happy? If you are sad, you should say it out loud! Haruhi Fujioka (Ouran High School Host Club) It doesn’t do any good to pretend you can’t see what’s going on. Yuuya Mochizuki (Another) To act is not necessarily compassion. True compassion sometimes comes from inaction. Hinata Miyake (A Place Further Than the Universe) If you’re gonna insist on gambling and then complain when you lose, you had better work on your game. Hatsu Kominato (Selector Infected Wixoss) Vision is not what your eyes see, but an image that your brain comprehends. Touko Aozaki (The Garden of Sinners / Kara no Kyōkai) Sometimes, people are just mean. Don’t fight mean with mean. Hold your head high. Hinata Miyake (A Place Further Than the Universe) No single thing is perfect by itself. That’s why we’re born to attract other things to make up for what we lack. I think we start walking in the right direction only after we start getting our counterparts besides us. Itachi Uchiha (Naruto) The best way to remove your lies is to make them come true. Suzaku Kururugi (Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion) Hard work betrays none, but dreams betray many. Hachiman Hikigaya (Yahari Ore No Seishun Love Come Wa Machigatteiru) It is at the moment of death that humanity has value. Archer (Fate Series) Religion, ideology, resources, land, spite, love or just because… No matter how pathetic the reason, it’s enough to start a war. War will never cease to exist… reasons can be thought up after the fact… Human nature pursues strife. Paine (Naruto Shippuden) I want… to change things. I want to believe that anything can be changed. The moment I met you, a new world opened up for me. You see, after wandering in the darkness for so long, a light brought me happiness. It’s all thanks to you. Chrono (Chrono Crusade) A place where someone still thinks about you is a place you can call home. Jiraiya (Naruto) It’s the people close to your heart that can give you the most piercing wound. Love is a double-edged sword, it can heal the wound faster or it can sink the blade even deeper. Himura Kenshin (Rurouni Kenshin) Sometimes it’s necessary to do unnecessary things. Kanade Jinguuji (Best Student Council) When you lose sight of your path, listen for the destination in your heart. Allen Walker (D.Gray Man)KEEP READING: 50 Inspirational Quotes to Uplift and Motivate

Meet Elon Musk's Children: His Odd But Uplifting Reason for Having 10 Kids
Celebrities

Meet Elon Musk's Children: His Odd But Uplifting Reason for Having 10 Kids

Twitter is now yet another in Elon Musk's impressive portfolio. As a founder, or co-founder, of PayPal, Tesla, and SpaceX, Musk has forged a path to becoming the world's richest human in a very unconventional way. However, as nontraditional as his entrepreneurship has been, his philosophical role as a patriarch to his ever-broadening brood is perhaps even more outside the mainstream. Elon Musk is the father to a total of 10 children.RELATED: 62 Motivational Elon Musk Quotes on Success and LeadershipAccording to a new report from Insider, Musk is the father of twins with Shivon Zilis, a top executive at another of his companies, Neuralink, who specializes in artificial intelligence and human digital interfaces. As his holdings and family expand, it is worth looking at how the most affluent person on the planet goes about the business of parenting. Meet Elon Musk’s Children In January 2000, Musk married Justine Wilson, a writer who he'd met at Queen's College while they were both students, though their romance did not ascend past awkward dates and casual flirtations until some years later. Their firstborn, Nevada Alexander Musk, arrived in 2002 but the baby was only alive for ten weeks before succumbing to sudden infant death syndrome, a mysterious malady known as SIDS that claims 2,300 infants a year in the United States. RELATED: What Elon Musk And Grimes Teach Us About Finding The OneTwo years later, the couple had twins Griffin and Vivian, and two years after that they conceived a set of triplets, Kai, Saxon, and Damian.In 2020 Musk, and the singer Grimes, welcomed their son, X AE A-XII. They had another child, a daughter named Exa Dark Sideræl, in November 2021, and one month later Zillis and Musk welcomed their pair of twins. Elon Musk Just Wants to Be a DadMusk told Page Six that he would have “as many as I am able to spend time with and be a good father.” He has highlighted his close relationship with all his children, except his eldest daughter Vivian.Vivian Jenna Wilson filed in April to have their name legally changed one day after turning 18 and also petitioned a court in Los Angeles to sever ties with Elon Musk as her father. There has been speculation that Wilson took this action in response to some of Elon’s statements on Twitter in regard to the trans community, specifically the preponderance of pronouns in daily discourse. Elon blames Neo-Marxist ideologies for his estrangement from his daughter.RELATED: Mark Cuban Offers Elon Musk a Universal Lesson in Dealing with CriticismThe deterioration of Musk’s relationship with Vivian mirrors the fracturing of his own relationship with his father, a man he has described as an architect of great evil. Though the details of what transpired between the two men aren’t exactly clear, one can surmise that Elon doesn’t wish to be the type of person he perceives his father to be, which can be one of the most powerful motivations in fatherhood.Elon’s own father, Errol Musk, has been a magnet for controversy in recent months. In August during an interview with an Australian radio program, he confided to its audience that he was not proud of his son’s accomplishments. This seemed, at least in part, to derive from some sense that Elon himself was less than satisfied with where he found himself in his career and life at the moment.Errol Musk has also been in the headlines for siring a pair of children with his step-daughter, Jana Bezuidenhout, who assumed the role of paternal parent when she was four years old.How Does Elon Manage Being the CEO of Tesla and the Dad of 10?Some of Elon’s past romantic partners, such as Talulah Riley, have gone on the record professing Musk’s devotion to his family. Riley was quoted “He tries to come home early for family dinners with me and the kids and maybe play some computer games with the boys.” At one point she described a household where nannies were deployed en masse but said that decreased over time. RELATED: Elon Musk Says This Surprising Thing Helped Him Become A Billionaire, Offers Unusual Parenting Lesson In The ProcessMusk has admitted to being hands-off in the children’s life in the early years, suggesting that the mother has more involvement during those foundational years and that his contributions come a little later in their lives. Some notable exceptions to this self-imparted exile are trips abroad where all the children typically accompany him to visit places many only read about. He also has been candid about the influence of the internet in the education of his children, specifically citing Reddit and Youtube during a 2021 Clubhouse interview as primary channels for their educational consumption. Ad Astra, a school Musk founded in 2014, was once located on the grounds of SpaceX and was the instructional hub for many children in his social hemisphere, including his own.What Are Elon’s Plans to Continue to Grow the Family?Elon Musk and ex-girlfriend GrimesErrol Musk has encouraged his son to have as many as 30 children. The elder Musk has always espoused a manifest destiny approach to procreation among the wealthy elite, likening his son to sprawling lineages of European kings. A tweet from Elon in July glibly suggested that he may be in agreement with his father. The tweet said “Doing my best to help the underpopulation crisis. A collapsing birth rate is the biggest danger civilization faces by far.”RELATED: Elon Musk’s #1 Tactic to Never be Afraid of FailureThis sentiment may not be as tongue and cheek as it appears. The hugely successful entrepreneur, despite some of his controversies, seems to be an ardent supporter of a greener planet as well as providing a real alternative habitat in the form of Martian terraforming. As wildly ambitious as that goal may be, Musk is a man who has attained the pinnacle of financial success by investing in the impossible. Despite the challenges he has faced as a parent he has expressed a dedication to doing his part to battle against various existential threats that may extinguish humanity, and population growth is one of them. He has the resources to support a family of almost any size and while his desires may run deeper than narcissism. As with his other endeavors he may feel uniquely suited to solving a global problem and leading by example and in that lens, he is charitably leading by example. KEEP READING: Channing Tatum’s Fear of Single Fatherhood Challenged Him to Become a Better Dad

How to Motivate an Unmotivated Child - Global Pandemic or Not
Parenting

How to Motivate an Unmotivated Child - Global Pandemic or Not

What motivates you? As adults, motivating factors for getting things done tend to be driven by responsibilities. If we don't work, we can't pay bills or afford to provide for ourselves or our families.Children, however, don't have these types of worries to be concerned with. And while it's perfectly normal for children to lack motivation to do things they don't enjoy, it's not normal for a child to lack motivation to do anything at all.How can you motivate an unmotivated child? In this article, we'll explore the common characteristics of an unmotivated child, explore factors that can contribute to a child's lack of motivation, coping mechanisms to help children and their parents and resources to help foster motivational growth. Characteristics of an Unmotivated ChildLack of motivation is an issue that can impact anyone. However, an unmotivated child can be hard to motivate for obvious reasons. Trying to reason or level set with a child about why it's important to do things like homework, clean up after themselves or eat a proper meal isn't really an option. If a child decides they don't want to do something, it can be very hard to motivate them to do otherwise. Here are a few other characteristics of an unmotivated child.Your child chooses to engage in low-effort activities. If your child spends most of his or her time watching TV, playing video games or eating snacks, this can be a sign that your child lacks motivation.(Getty)Your child lacks interest in almost everything. Your child questions the point of everything, from helping with tasks to doing their homework. Nothing is exciting to your child. They're not paying attention in school. Not only do they lack focus in school but trying to talk to an unmotivated child about what they're learning in school doesn't yield any conversation. They blame others. Poor grades and lack of interest get blamed on their teachers, classmates or friends. An unmotivated child doesn't take responsibility for their lack of motivation.They have poor self-esteem. An unmotivated child may lack motivation due to the way they perceive themselves. For example, if they believe they are not smart, why should they try to excel at school? They constantly fight with you. Any request or suggestion made to your child ends up in a fight. An unmotivated child does not see the value in listening to instructions. This can also be present in their school environment as well. Why Is My Child Unmotivated?Just like adults, sometimes a child lacks motivation simply because they don't feel particularly motivated. However, there are some factors to consider that may be impacting your child's motivation that deserve a closer look. Here are a few reasons why your child's motivation may be lacking.StressYou may think that the stress of pushing your child to get good grades and excel would help motivate them. Actually, the opposite is true. An unmotivated child who's under stress will feel unmotivated to make a change. This is due to the levels of dopamine in the brain that drop when we're stressed out. Schoolwork, family issues, a new move or anything that's disruptive to your child's routine and environment can be a source of stress. The pandemic was one instance of stress that resulted in children becoming largely unmotivated. Learning disabilitiesAs a parent, it can be difficult to decipher whether children are not motivated to complete schoolwork because they don't want to, or because they truly can't. In some cases, unmotivated children are actually suffering from a learning disability that makes it difficult for them to excel at school. If your child has consistently underperformed at school, discussing evaluation options with their teacher may be a good step to take to help motivate an unmotivated child.ADHDSimilarly, unmotivated children who have issues focusing on schoolwork as well as other activities at home may be suffering from ADHD. If your child consistently has trouble focusing on school, while playing and is easily distracted when trying to complete tasks, it may be beneficial to have them evaluated.Sleep issues(Getty)Now more than ever children are spending a large amount of time in front of screens. Whether it's a TV, phone, iPad or video game, too much screen time during the day can lead to sleep issues at night. Not getting adequate sleep each night can lead to having an unmotivated child. Parenting issuesNo parent likes to hear that they're the cause of an issue with their children. However, controlling parenting styles have been linked to having unmotivated children. Children need encouragement, but they also need to learn how to be self-motivated. Being too controlling or overbearing can have the opposite effect. Lack of skills or understandingIf a task seems too arduous for a child, it can make a child feel unmotivated. After all, why start something when it seems impossible to finish? An unmotivated child may not feel motivated because they believe they lack the competency to complete the task – whether it's a school assignment or even playing a game with their peers.Anxiety and depressionAnxiety and depression don't just present in adults. Children are also susceptible to these disorders and being unmotivated can be a result of having either. If you suspect that your child may be struggling with anxiety or depression, it's important to seek the help of a professional. This can either be through your child's school psychologist or working with a psychologist that specializes in adolescent behavior. How to Motivate an Unmotivated ChildWith some effort, patience and time, it's possible to motivate an unmotivated child. Here are some strategies to help jumpstart motivation in your child.Believe that your child wants to be successfulEven if it seems like this is not the case, the truth is we all want to achieve success. However, if your child constantly encounters failure, whether it be earning poor grades at school, struggling to make friends, not excelling in team activities or having a hard time making friends, their motivation to do so can take a dip. Just because a child is unmotivated doesn't mean they don't want to succeed or do a good job. They may just need encouragement. In order to help motivate an unmotivated child, create tasks or challenges that are achievable for your kid. What is your child inherently good at? For example, maybe your child isn't motivated to make friends – but they play well with their siblings. Reward this behavior and challenge them to teach their siblings something new.Get involved in your child's interestsIt may seem like your unmotivated child isn't interested in anything. But if you take a close look at the things that interest your child, you may notice that they do have motivations -- even if these things are low activity. For example, if your child watches certain YouTube creators, ask them more questions and get interested in what it is they enjoy about the content they're consuming. Then, find opportunities to link tasks and skills to these interests. For example, if your child watches YouTube videos because they're funny, explore age-appropriate books (even comic books) that will hold your child's attention while improving their reading capabilities and increasing their vocabulary.Skip the motivational speechExplaining to your child why it's important for them to change their behavior and do better is not an effective tactic to motivate children. Instead of focusing on your child's lack of motivation and trying to talk it out, explore ways to improve in the future. Don't talk at your child, ask questions about their performance and what they think they could do differently. This can also help identify why your child is unmotivated. If you ask what they can do better next time and they say they don't know, it might very well be that they don't believe they can improve – or don't know the proper steps to take in order to get motivated. If this is the case, provide your child with support, and let them know you believe in them. Just because they haven't figured out a way to be successful doesn't mean they can't in the future.Remember that they're still kidsAs adults, we know why learning is important. But for kids, being asked to study a certain topic that doesn't interest them can feel pointless. If you want to motivate your kids to learn, think about switching up the way you teach them about certain topics. For example, history may seem like a boring class when your teacher is reading out of a textbook or asking you to complete homework on something that happened long before you were born. But watching a movie on the topic can make history feel exciting and interesting. If your child has felt down about their past performance or lacks self-esteem, watching a movie with them on a topic they'll be learning soon in school not only puts them ahead – but allows them to position themselves as an expert on the topic in front of classmates. Provide encouragement(Getty)Trying to motivate an unmotivated child can be a stressful, frustrating experience for parents. But in order to change the behavior of an unmotivated child, it's important to approach the situation with empathy, understanding and patience. If your child is feeling unmotivated because they have failed in the past, consider telling them about a time when you failed when you were their age. Or find stories of influencers/celebrities they look up to who have shared stories of setbacks to show your child that even people they look at as successful now have had to overcome failures. When providing encouragement for your unmotivated child, look for small wins rather than success. For example, did your child try a different approach to solve a problem? Even if they weren't successful, acknowledging they did a good job coming at the challenge from a different angle can help motivate your unmotivated child. Or, maybe they put more effort into a reading assignment – but their latest test score didn't change as much as you hoped. Showing support and offering encouragement even if your child hasn't gotten it exactly right yet will go a long way in motivating your child to continue trying to improve.Be willing to give up controlKids spend almost all of their day listening to adults. They listen to teachers at school, then come home and listen to parents tell them what they should or shouldn't be doing. Your child's lack of motivation may be due to not having a voice in any of the decisions that get made for them day after day. Teaching your kids to become self-motivated starts with allowing them to have some independence and agency over the activities they engage in each day. If you want to sit and eat dinner, ask them what they think you should make -- then see if they're willing to help. Identify your child's strengthsWhat is your child inherently good at? It's possible that you and your child are spending so much time on their shortcomings, there hasn't been enough emphasis on what they are good at. When motivating an unmotivated child, this can be a powerful place to start. Acknowledging the talents or skills your child is good at -- then leveraging them into other areas like certain school subjects -- can help get your child motivated and interested in acting. Reduce the stress in your child's environmentStress is a demotivating factor – and if things have been stressful either at home or at school, this can be the issue that's causing your child to become unmotivated. It's not always possible to completely remove stress from a child's life. But take a look at situations that are stressful for your child from day to day and see if there's a way to reduce these stressors. This may involve changing your own behavior as a parent. As tempting as it can be to yell and nag when your child doesn't do something they're supposed to, this type of reaction can actually have the opposite effect on your child's motivation. If you feel that you may be contributing to a stressful environment at home for your child, take some time to identify what things you can let go of that you're demanding of your kid. Yes, it's important to get good grades and excel at school. But if you remove the pressure you're placing on your kid to do well, it's possible that the motivation to want to keep up with their peers might be enough of a motivator to reignite their interests. After all, you won't always be there to demand your child to do better. They have to learn self-motivation at some point. Taking a step back and allowing them to navigate the consequences of falling behind in school on their own can be a powerful lesson. What Motivates Children?Each child is different, but there are a few commonalities when it comes to motivating kids that could be beneficial for parents to know. Here are a few insights on what motivates children.Kids are motivated by what they enjoy. Even if these things don't seem interesting or worthwhile to you, recognizing the activities and interests your child has -- and allowing them time to engage in them – can be a powerful motivator. For example, you may think that your child playing video games is a waste of time. However, most video games do offer positives for children. Video games allow children to be in control, and to develop problem solving skills. If you show an interest in the games your child plays, you may be able to find ways to leverage these interests to motivate your child in other areas of his or her life. Kids are motivated by positive reinforcement. If you're always nagging your child to do better or pointing out tasks they haven't completed, your child doesn't have any motivation to improve. In fact, they can feel like it's pointless to try and put more effort into anything when you're always calling out their flaws. Instead, try pointing out at least one thing they've done well each day. Kids are motivated to learn – but in a way that's fun for them. If your child isn't interested in completing homework or reading about a certain topic, explore learning opportunities that are engaging to them. Visiting a museum, watching a movie or working on a creative project related to the topic may all be more intriguing to your child than the traditional way of learning. Help for Parents Who Want to Motivate Unmotivated Kids(Getty)If you're struggling to motivate your unmotivated child, there are resources that can help. If you feel overwhelmed trying to help your child grow and succeed, explore resources in your area that can help.If you feel that your child may have a learning disability, one powerful place to start can be speaking with your school's psychologist. These are trained professionals hired to evaluate students, identify issues and help work closely with parents, students and teachers to formulate a plan to help students excel. Children want to succeed, grow and learn. But continuing to persevere during stressful times can be exhausting for children. Sometimes, you have to remember that kids are kids. They may not be excelling at school, but don't lose sight of other areas of your child's life that are important. For example, maybe they aren't earning straight A's – but your child's teacher constantly compliments the way they play and share with others. The opposite is also true of students who excel at their studies but aren't motivated to make friends or join social activities such as sports. Meet your child where their interests lie and use these interests as tools to help motivate your child in other areas. All children are motivated differently and can struggle with lack of motivation for different reasons. Understand that sometimes, especially during times of stress such as a pandemic, children will feel unmotivated. And that is normal. Lack of motivation can and may be temporary. It's possible that with time, your child's lack of motivation will resolve itself. Remember to let your child enjoy being a kid – and encourage them to pursue their own interests and problem solve on their own. This is how self-motivation gets built and cultivated.

Everything You Need to Know About Hypnobirthing
Parenting

Everything You Need to Know About Hypnobirthing

If you’re pregnant, or planning on becoming pregnant in the near future, chances are that you’ve started to research, or at least think about, what it will be like to give birth. It’s only natural to be curious about the birth experience given how much hype there is around labor, from the pain to the life changing nature of the event itself.There are a number of childbirth classes you can take to prepare yourself as best as possible, with Lamaze and the Bradley Method being the most popular. However, hypnobirthing classes are another option. Hypnobirthing aims to approach labor in a way that focuses on breathing techniques (much like Lamaze), but with the added benefit of also achieving an almost transcendent state during the birthing process. As you do your labor research, here’s what you should know about hypnobirthing, including its purported benefits and its inherent limitations. What is hypnobirthing?First, let’s talk about hypnobirthing more in depth so you can get a clearer picture of this particular birthing technique. As you might imagine, hypnobirthing involves learning to achieve self-hypnosis so that you can weather the experience of labor and vaginal birth from a deeply relaxed state. There are a number of techniques used in hypnobirthing, including repeating affirmations and deep breathing, that are supposed to help you transcend the fight-or-flight body response that can sometimes accompany labor in order for you to have a more relaxed, stress-free experience. The term “hypnobirthing” was coined in the 1989 book HypnoBirthing: A Celebration of Life by Marie Mongan, a hypnotherapist. Today, you can take an official hypnobirthing class, which consists of 12 hours of instruction on the technique by a certified hypnobirthing instructor. Each of the five classes you’d take are two and half hours long and go over the various techniques you can use during labor as a form of pain relief and mental relaxation. These classes allow you to practice for the big event and ask questions along the way. What are some hypnobirthing techniques?If you happen to take the plunge into childbirth education and connect with a certified hypnobirthing educator, you’ll find that there are four main techniques used in hypnobirthing to help make labor feel less intense, reduce anxiety and help you achieve deep relaxation. When used together, these techniques can help birthing women achieve a hypnotic state that allows for a smoother, shorter labor process. Here’s a quick overview of each of the techniques used in hypnobirthing: Controlled breathingHypnobirthing teaches deep breathing to help control stress hormones and allow your body to find that hypnotic state. Many women find that deep breathing in general can help them stay calm and more relaxed during the birthing process, which is why it is taught in nearly every birthing class, not just hypnobirthing. Being conscious of your breath gives you something to focus on so that you can disassociate from the labor and delivery pain of natural childbirth. Guided visualizationVisualization can be a powerful tool to help your brain achieve a more relaxed state. A visualization exercise can help distract you from the pain of labor and keep you focused on your breath. This hypnobirthing technique helps with pain management by giving your brain something else to do besides focus on the painful bodily sensations you’ll experience in childbirth.Positive affirmationsRepeating positive affirmations is another distraction technique of hypnobirthing that not only gives your brain something to focus on but also inspires you to keep your thoughts calm and optimistic. Especially when you are near the end of labor before pushing (known as “the turn”), your thoughts can turn doubtful and negative, leading you to wonder if you really can get through labor. Having positive affirmations to focus on can keep your brain in a more constructive mindset. Mindful word choiceHypnobirthing offers replacing some of the terms of labor with more helpful words, making the experience more positive and forward-looking. (Some of the words used in labor, and in medicine in general, can sound a touch pessimistic.) For instance, instead of “contraction” you are encouraged to say “surge” or “wave.” “Stalled labor” is replaced with the more positive phrase “resting labor.” And the word “patients” is swapped out for “parents.” What are the benefits of hypnobirthing?There are many upsides to trying hypnobirthing during labor, some of which are backed up by scientific study. These five benefits shed light on why hypnobirthing has gained popularity over the last few decades and has become more mainstream:Benefit #1: Managing pain naturallyAccording to research, women using hypnobirthing techniques experience less intense labor pain, and need fewer medical interventions for easing pain, than women who do not. Being able to put yourself into a hypnotic state can help you transcend the pain of labor, at least in part, allowing you to breathe through the discomfort without needing pain medication. Benefit #2: Potentially shortening laborWomen who practice hypnobirthing tend to have shorter labors overall than women who do not. This is because hypnobirthing has been shown to make the first stage of labor, when contractions become more intense and closer together, go more quickly. Benefit #3: Lessening the need for medical interventionsWhile 32 percent of birthing women in general have cesarean deliveries, only 17 percent of hypnobirthing women needed cesarean, according to a recent study. Physically, being able to breathe through contracts can help keep both the birthing woman’s and baby’s heart rate from spiking, allowing mother and child to work together to complete the birthing process. Benefit #4: Feeling more in control of the labor processBecause they had breathing exercises and affirmations to focus on, some women report that they felt more in control of their bodies when they practiced hypnobirthing. Being able to retain body autonomy during the unpredictable birthing process can ease stress and allow for a less mentally taxing experience. Benefit #5: Helping women who have had traumatic births in the pastFor women who have had traumatic births due to unforeseen interventions or emergency situations, giving birth again can be even more difficult. Hypnobirthing can help make the experience more positive and less stressful. Having a plan in place that focuses on a woman’s mental state can help those who have experienced trauma feel more comfortable about being in labor again. What are the limitations of hypnobirthing?The big question with hypnobirthing is this: Does it actually work? While data does show that it can help ease pain and shorten labor, it’s not a sure thing. If hypnobirthing really allowed every woman to have calm, pain-free labor then everyone would be doing it—and epidurals would be relegated to an ancient medical practice. Hypnobirthing can certainly improve women’s birth experiences but it’s not without its limitations. Here are the three main constraints to hypnobirthing that you should keep in mind.Hypnobirthing puts “natural” birth on a pedestalHypnobirthing is hyper focused on so-called natural childbirth, which means vaginal, non-medicated childbirth with no medical interventions. The practice can position “natural” birth as superior to cesarean births or ones that happen vaginally with the help of an epidural. As a culture, we do pregnant and birthing women a disservice when certain types of births are considered more natural or better than others. Every birth, no matter the circumstances, is equal. Hypnobirthing can minimize the reality of pain (rubberball / Getty)The core concept of hypnobirthing is the idea that intense pain doesn’t need to be part of labor. However, as anyone who has ever been in unmedicated labor will tell you, pain is simply part of giving birth. While, sure, there's the possibility that some women throughout history may have experienced a completely painless birth, due to hypnobirthing or other techniques, the majority of women will experience pain. That is the reality. Hypnobirthing can help relax you and keep you from entering flight-or-flight territory, making the birth process less stressful overall, but it cannot fully eradicate pain. To promise otherwise is simply misleading. Hypnobirthing doesn’t always prepare you for the possibility of medical interventionsHypnobirthing typically doesn’t account for labor not going as planned. The practice sets women up for expecting to have a natural, non-medicated birth and doesn’t always consider the very real possibilities of needing a medical intervention. For some women, the pain is simply too unbearable, even after repeating a positive affirmation one thousand times. For others, an issue with the baby might mean needing to manually break their water. When the focus is just on having a natural birth with no interventions, this can set women up for feeling like they failed if they end up needing an emergency c-section or end up getting that epidural. The bottom line about hypnobirthingNo matter if you choose hypnobirthing or another technique for labor, it’s important to keep your birthing experience in perspective and know that there’s only so much that you can control about the birth process. Creating a concrete, detailed birth plan likely won’t serve you. Like your parenting journey to come, you often just have to go with the flow and let go of a need to control the outcome. While it’s important to prepare for the birth of your child, in the end, labor is just one day of your life. (Maybe two if you have a particularly long one.) Have some coping tools to help you through the experience and make a loose plan of what you think you’ll need but know that you can never fully prepare yourself for labor. (Cavan Images / Getty)Whatever happens on that life changing day, know that you are strong enough to handle it. And once it’s over, you’ll begin the next chapter of your life as a new parent.

How Helicopter Parents Can Negatively Affects Kids—And What To Do Instead
Motivation

How Helicopter Parents Can Negatively Affects Kids—And What To Do Instead

It’s safe to say that there’s no one way to parent effectively. Every family has different values and every child has different needs, making everyone’s parenting style unique in some way. We do know, however, from psychologists and other experts in the human development field, that certain types of parenting can be more effective—or more detrimental—than others. One of the buzzier parenting styles that can hinder kids more than help them is helicopter parenting. The term “helicopter parent” isn’t a new concept but it’s gained traction in recent years as more parents seemingly adopted this strategy of raising kids. Helicopter parents are typically overly involved in their kids’ lives, and have a hard time letting their children fail, struggle or perform tasks on their own. This is especially true if a parent’s help can procure a leg up in some way, like a better grade in a class, for example. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to help your child succeed—it’s only natural that a parent would want to shield their kid (or even their adult children) from harm and assist them however they can—there is a line that helicopter parents often cross between providing guidance and being a detriment to their kids’ development. Here’s what you should know about over involved parents and how too much helicopter-ing can negatively impact your child.Parenting style: Understanding the helicopter parent meaningHelicopter parenting typically refers to parents of high school and college age children who are over involved in their kids’ lives, from academics to extracurricular activities to social lives. The helicopter terminology refers to these parents’ proclivity to perpetually hover over their children and was first used in the 1969 book Parents & Teenagers written by Dr. Haim Ginott, a psychotherapist, school teacher and child psychologist. The term gained traction more recently with a rising trend of parents who provide over and above assistance to their children, whether it’s working with them on a school project or homework or all-out writing their college essays. In 2011, "helicopter parent" even became a dictionary entry and spawned other terms like “bulldozer parenting” and “lawnmower parenting,” both of which are considered more extreme versions of helicopter parenting. Helicopter parenting examplesIn general, helicopter parents tend to be overly focused on their kids and get involved in ways that are overprotective and overreaching of what’s expected of a responsible parent. Here are just some of the hallmarks of helicopter parenting:Being overly involved at school and in after school activities in order to continually monitor their kidsMaking decisions for their children, like which activities to joinNot allowing children to resolve conflict on their ownProviding corrections for their kids instead of allowing them to make mistakes Not supporting their kids’ independence through household tasks by picking up after them even when it’s not age appropriateNot encouraging healthy separation and fostering separation anxietyProtecting children from even small disappointments or failuresBarring kids from participating in activities that are appropriate for their age, like school dances and sleepoversThere are of course different degrees of helicopter parenting. Some parents hover more closely than others or in certain situations, like when it comes to academics and grades. Some parents are more concerned with safety and bar their kids from attending social functions or spending time unsupervised with friends. What these parents share is that they are typically looking out for their children and have their best interests in mind. However, these overly involved parents tend to do more harm than good. What causes helicopter parenting? Because helicopter moms and dads are usually just trying to do what they think will help their child succeed, stay safe or remain protected from the harsh realities of their world, they may be unaware that they are indeed helicopter parents. For many over involved parents, they’re just committed to doing what’s best for their kids—they just happen to go over and above what’s appropriate or necessary in that regard.There are a number of reasons that a parent might end up in helicopter territory. Here are the most common causes of being a too involved parent:Wanting to give their children opportunities they never hadFor parents who grew up struggling, whether financially, academically or socially, there’s often a desire to give their kids a life they never had. Parents who are in a position to help their children succeed may become overly involved in their kids’ lives in order to provide them with opportunities they weren’t able to have themselves. They might also try to help their kids by shielding them from the kinds of mistakes they made or steer them toward choices they wish they had made. But when it comes to them growing up into college students, well being and academic success can most definitely be hampered. AnxietyMany hovering parents have anxiety over their children, whether they fear for their literal safety or they worry about their child’s future. The effects of helicopter parenting creates anxiety, and translates into a need to control their kids’ lives and micromanage their everyday tasks. This includes everything from homework to playdates. Left unchecked, this anxiety can trickle down to these over-parented kids, causing them to feel as uneasy about their own problems as their parents do. Fear of failureParents often see their children as reflections of themselves. They want their children to succeed in part because the success in their children’s lives makes them appear to be better parents - not just to the world at large, but to themselves. There’s a sense of selfish pride in seeing your kid achieve a major accomplishment. This fear of failure isn’t just based on parents’ self-interest, however. Parents largely don’t like to see their kids struggle. It’s hard to sit on the sidelines and watch as they work hard at something only for it to blow up in their face, whether it’s a science project or a first crush or a big game with their sports team. Helicopter parents want to prevent these disappointments from happening by trying to nip them in the bud early and redirect. Peer pressureSometimes the environment you’re parenting in can affect the way you parent. Even the most secure, confident moms and dads can be swayed in a place where helicopter parenting runs rampant. When other parents are advocating for their kids or getting too involved, you may feel tempted to follow suit so that your kid doesn’t get left out or fall behind. Or, you may feel pressure from your own parents or other loved ones you trust if they often criticize free range parents and encourage you to be more involved. Your social setting can influence your parenting, especially in stressful or uncertain times. Generational traumaFor those with less involved parents growing up (typically the children of baby boomers), having kids is a chance to do things differently. Some parents hover because their own parents didn’t and they vowed to be more hands-on with their kids. When you’re trying to make up for something that was lacking in your own childhood, there can be a tendency to over course correct. You’re so set on not doing things the way your parents did that perhaps you go a little too far in the other direction. Using child as a distraction from their own career aspirations or priorities—or lack thereofFinally, some helicopter parents dive deeply into their kids’ lives as a form of escapism. Perhaps you gave up your career when your children were little and you’re unable to break back into your line of work. Maybe you don’t have any hobbies or passions of your own besides your children. This happens to a lot of parents who pour their hearts and souls into their families. Sometimes it’s easier to focus on the kids rather than face the realities of your own lack of aspiration or opportunities. What are the effects of having helicopter parents?There are some benefits of having helicopter parents. For instance, overly involved parents typically know where their kids are at all times and may have an easier time identifying issues related to mental health, bullying and falling grades. However, for the most part, overly involved parents don’t prepare their kids for the real world and all of the situations that these children will inevitably have to face, alone, throughout their adult lives. Here are some of the negative outcomes and effects that having helicopter parents can have on kids as they continue to grow into young adults:Overly dependent on parentsChildren of helicopter parents don’t get the chance to hone their life skills when they are in their adolescent and high school years. Since they aren’t given responsibilities at these developmental stages, they aren’t able to handle basic tasks when they’re college age and beyond. Even something as basic as an adult child bringing home laundry for their parents to wash is a hallmark behavior of someone who has helicopter parents. Taken to the extreme, being overly dependent could mean that a young adult never feels ready to live on their own.Underdeveloped ability to deal with lifeExperts describe parents that tend to “helicopter” as those that create kids with poor coping skills. Getting rejected, hearing critical feedback or struggling with a task can all be too much for someone who is used to their parents bailing them out or protecting them from life’s inevitable disappointments. While adulting can be a lot, even for seasoned grown-ups, not having any reference point of past struggles can make life even harder. Children of helicopter parents may also not have a strong sense of themselves and feel like they are unequipped to manage their own lives, since their parents managed their lives for them. They might spend a lot of time doubting themselves and their abilities. Propensity toward rebellion(Catherine Falls Commercial / Getty)Some kids with a demanding or overly involved parent will get pushed to a point where they just can’t continue with the status quo. These children will rebel against the programming the helicopter mom or dad has set for them, whether it’s a schedule of activities they don’t really enjoy or a list of colleges they need to apply to. Decision paralysisGrown children who always had mom or dad making decisions for them will have a hard time determining the direction of their own life. Part of learning to be an adult is making choices and understanding how various outcomes can help or hinder you. Kids who haven’t learned how to reason through making decisions for themselves can feel stuck whenever there’s a fork in the road. Inability to deal with failureWhen parents shield their kids from failure, kids assume that failure simply won’t happen to them. This, of course, is misleading since everyone fails at something at least once in their lives. When grown children don’t have any experience with getting knocked down and getting back up again, they can struggle with low self esteem and feelings of not being good enough. Instead of building resilience from past failure, these kids are shocked that they don’t automatically succeed at everything, which can be disorienting, to say the least. Overdeveloped sense of entitlementKids who are used to mom or dad swooping in to bail them out can have issues with authority, especially people telling them no. This sense of entitlement can come from a good place: a belief that they are worthy and deserving. But it can also transform into feeling like the world owes them, which can come back to bite them in a number of settings, from the workplace to dating. Strained parent-child relationshipThere are two types of helicopter parents: Those are supportive and loving and those who are authoritative and cold. When kids experience the latter, they tend to grow into adults with strained relationships with their parents. They may resent their parents for pushing them too hard or controlling their lives. While helicopter parenting can be detrimental in many ways, having parents who are constantly hovering and unloving is even worse. How to stop helicopter parenting If you feel like you might be a helicopter parent, first realize that you’re doing the best you can with the tools you have. There’s no standardized course to take on how to be an ideal parent so many of us are just figuring it all out as we go, making mistake after mistake along the way. Chances are, your heart is in the right place. Next, it’s time to encourage some independence, both in your kid and in yourself. You don’t need to do a full 180 and pull back from being involved in your child’s life. But the following suggestions will help you ease into a less directive position. Here’s what you can do: Step 1: Gradually give your kids spaceOf course, when kids are little, it’s normal—actually, it’s necessary—to hover over them. For some parents, this instinct just doesn’t fade. Work to give your kids space, even if it’s just 15 minutes at a time where they can play by themselves, with siblings or with friends. Over time, you can give your child even more space to play (and later work) independently. This sets them up to feel confident without you continually being involved and allows them to be creative and free thinking without being influenced by you. Step 2: Help children decide their own classes and activitiesIf you’ve been heavily involved in what your kids do inside and outside of school, it’s time to stop completely controlling what your kid learns and does. Rather than approve their class schedule, encourage them to pick their own courses. You can provide insight and direction on whether they should take AP classes in high school or choose a certain elective in college but ultimately it should be their choice. The same goes for sports and activities. You can give choices, especially if you are paying for extracuticialy classes, but allow them to make the ultimate call on whether they take dance lessons or join the club soccer team. Step 3: Dole out age-appropriate responsibilitiesIt may sound crazy to some people but kids as young as two can help out around the house. (Younger kids may need help or not do things perfectly but that’s kind of the point—to learn!) Be sure that your child is responsible for at least some household tasks beyond keeping their room neat. A five-year-old can set the table. A ten-year-old can walk the dog. Encourage everyone in the family to participate in making your home functional. Step 4: Don’t fix problems, Teach problem solving No parent likes to watch their kids struggle, no matter how old they are. But it’s not your job to protect your child from every potential setback. Instead model how to solve problems and find resolutions. When your child makes a mistake, talk through it and help them understand what went wrong or how they might modify their behavior or decision in the future. If your child has a problem with a friend or teacher, try not to offer advice, especially if they haven’t asked for any. Do your best to listen and steer your child toward understanding how to solve the conflict for themselves. Practice active listening and ask questions to help your child understand how they can resolve the situation. Turn these problems into brainstorming sessions and teaching opportunities, not lectures. Finding balance as a parentParenting is a tough gig. No matter how many years you’ve been at it, life throws new curveballs your way. (And right at your precious kid, too.) If you’ve fallen into the helicopter parent trap, know that you can right the course and start giving your child the independence they’ll need to thrive in the real world. While we’re not here to provide medical advice as if we’re scholars submitting articles for the Journal of Child and Family Studies (j child fam stud), we know that once you stop helicopter parenting—and trying to shield your kid from all of life’s problems—you’ll be doing them a huge favor. You’re definitely not abandoning them. Instead, you can stand beside your kid and guide them through life in a loving, less hands-on way. This will allow you to help your child grow into the self-sufficient, responsible adult you’ve always hoped they could be. Want to connect more with your child, but don’t know where to start? Check out these questions to ask kids for a little more insight into your little one.

The Ultimate List of Questions to Ask Kids To Get Them Talking, Connecting, and Sharing
Parenting

The Ultimate List of Questions to Ask Kids To Get Them Talking, Connecting, and Sharing

If you're a parent, a caregiver, or simply an adult with young children in your life, chances are you’ve had some one-sided conversations. Some little ones are prone to sharing, talking a blue streak about their latest favorite toy or favorite subject, and others need a lot of coaxing. Others shift between the two, sharing at inopportune moments and clamming up the next. When it comes to older kids, it can feel as though the moment you show any interest, they’d rather pop on their headphones and tune you out. As a former preschool teacher and a parent myself, I’ve experimented to find what works to get kids talking--and what definitely doesn’t.The good news is there are some foolproof ways to get kids talking, whether they’re toddlers playing with stuffed animals or pre-teens. Try the techniques below to get the conversation flowing with your kiddo. Why do we need to ask our kids questions?There are plenty of reasons to ask questions and get your kid talking. Children actually benefit from this quite a lot. Showing an interest in childrens’ lives shows them that they matter, they’re worth your time, and their thoughts, feelings, and opinions are important. In fact, a 2018 MIT study found that conversation between an adult and a child actually changes a child’s brain. (JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty)According to the study, parents can have considerable influence over their children’s language and brain development by simply engaging them in conversation. Interestingly, it was back-and-forth conversation, not vocabulary-drilling that led to the jumps in cognitive development. This could be anything from asking them about how many stars they think there are in the universe, what their favorite dessert or favorite song is, or what kind of famous person they would like to meet most. As long as you appear genuinely interested and choose the right conversation starters, you’re good to go!The study “provides the first evidence that family conversation at home is associated with brain development in children,” says John Gabrieli, professor of brain and cognitive sciences and senior author of the study. “It’s almost magical how parental conversation appears to influence the biological growth of the brain.”On top of the science, there are plenty of other reasons to chat up your kids, whether you’re on a walk or at the dinner table with your younger children. The benefits include:Increasing in self-esteemEncouraging self-reflectionAffirming their emotional selvesBoosting their social skillsEncouraging critical thinkingFostering perspective-takingTeaching listening skillsBuilding empathyDeveloping trust, intimacy, and connectionWhen it comes down to it, my number one motive for getting my kid to talk is to connect with him. I want my kiddo to feel seen, heard, and understood, as I would a good friend. I want him to have the skills to express himself, ask for what he needs, and clearly communicate his boundaries.On top of that, I want my little guy to learn how to listen to different perspectives, consider opinions that aren’t his own, and to imagine what it’s like to be in another person’s shoes.By opening the door to meaningful conversation, I’m showing my son that he matters to me, that even as his mother I can learn from what he has to share, and that I care deeply about him as a human being. In addition, the skills he gains in sharing conversation with me will help him develop into a caring, empathetic adult. Kids mimic their parents - so why not set a great example? #momgoalsHow to get kids talkingI know from personal experience that wanting to talk to your kid and getting your kid to talk are two very different things. The reality is, kids aren’t dumb. They can tell when you’re asking gratuitous, forced questions and, even worse, when you aren’t interested in hearing the answer. If a kid senses that you’re trying to engage in the obligatory “family talk,” it’s not the craziest thing to imagine that they’re likely to shut down real quick. (bymuratdeniz / Getty)From my trials and errors, I’ve come up with a pretty solid method to get kids talking, no matter what stage of life they’re in. It involves:asking open-ended questionsgetting in their worldactive, receptive listeningreflecting their message back to them validating their viewpointputting them in the driver’s seatOpen-ended questionsUnless you’re playing a game like “Mother May I,” yes or no questions can end a conversation in a heartbeat. But when you ask a child open-ended questions, you’re giving them a whole world of conversation to explore.The same goes for one-word answer questions, though you may need to ask a few of those to determine what topic will spark the child’s interest. A question like, “How was school today?” is most likely going to be met with one of three options: good, bad, or OK. Instead, try an open-ended question like, “What was the weirdest thing that happened to you today?” The fact that this question is a little unexpected just might pique their interest.Get in their worldGetting in a child’s world means you’re making an attempt to see things through their eyes. This shows your child that their experiences matter. For instance, when your kid comes home from school, what they learned in math class is probably the last thing they want to talk about. To be fair, you probably don’t want to be asked what you learned from your crabby customers or Zoom meetings when you end your workday either.Try to put yourself in your child’s shoes and engage them in ways they want to be engaged. Chances are your kids are constantly giving you clues about what interests them, what lights them up, and what gets their juices flowing. If your kid loves dinosaurs, ask them to imagine which dinosaurs might have lived on your continent in the past. If they like ballet, ask them what they think it would be like to dance on a stage in front of an audience. If they love stories, ask them what their favorite movie is, or about their favorite storybook character.Once you find the topic that sparks their imagination, all you have to do is roll with it. A child’s curiosity often does the rest. Listen actively Instead of constantly looking for opportunities to insert your own opinions and force “teaching moments,” try actively listening to your kids instead. Active listening involves:making eye contactpositioning your body in a receptive postureshowing signs of understanding, like noddingasking clarifying questionsignoring distractionsMaking eye contact is a clear way to show that you’re listening. While you don’t have to intensely stare, kids know intuitively that your attention often follows what you’re looking at. Body language matters.When you sit with arms crossed or your chest turned away from your kiddo, it indicates that you aren’t receptive to what they’re saying. Instead, try keeping your arms at your sides or resting on the lap, and keep your chest--aka your heart--pointing toward them. Pointing your body toward your kiddo while they share shows them that you’re listening with all of you, and helps keep a child’s mind open. Your child might even be familiar with this practice as “whole body listening,” something teachers often ask for in the classroom.Nodding as your kiddo tells you a story about their day shows that you’re understanding what they’re saying. Offering nonverbal affirmations like “hmms” and “ahhs” can help too. To take it further, asking clarifying questions shows that you’re not just “nodding along.” Instead, you’re showing that you care enough to make the effort to really “get it” even if you don’t understand at first. (MoMo Productions / Getty)Quite possibly one of the most important signs of active listening is ignoring distractions. Put the phone on silent, turn off the TV, and give your kiddo your full attention. Of all the things in the world, that’s what most kids want the most.Reflect the messageOnce you get the full picture from talking with your child, mirror it back to them. It’s important to distinguish mirroring from parroting. Parroting can feel like you’re mindlessly repeating what your kiddo just said, while mirroring shows a more in-depth understanding. For instance, parroting might sound like: “Math class was hard today.” Mirroring might sound like: “Wow, it sounds like you were putting in a lot of effort, but the assignment was still tough.” Mirroring involves interpreting in your own words not just what’s being communicated verbally, but what’s being communicated emotionally.Validating their viewpointsOnce you’ve shown that you understand both the content and the emotional message behind it, you’re showing your child that you get why what they’re sharing is important to them.Were they discouraged by a tough assignment? Were they excited to make a fun art project? Were they disappointed when they didn’t get picked for sports?Understanding the emotional impact of what’s being communicated and then mirroring that back to your child shows them that they’re understood, that their feelings matter, and that they can bounce back if things are tough.Putting them in the driver’s seatFinally, let your kids take the wheel for a while. Kids are so used to adults driving conversations, moralizing, scolding, chastising, or instructing. It can be totally novel for an adult to just listen and go with it, whether your kid is talking about pirates, fairies, or a video game that makes zero sense to you.Let them lead the way, and simply hold space for them to take the conversation wherever they feel inspired to go. This is a sure-fire way to help your child feel heard, get them initially excited, and develop confidence in their ability to communicate with others. Get to know you questions for kidsWhen it comes to getting to know you questions, it doesn’t matter if it’s your own child or a brand new face. The number one rule is: don’t stick to the script!Kids love spontaneity and authenticity. They also love it when adults don’t take themselves too seriously. Lead with these and you’re sure to get them talking. For preschool kidsPreschool kids do best with a bit more structure. Instead of totally open-ended questions, give them choices for guidance. They also love funny questions that will make them giggle and make you look a bit silly. Here are some examples:How do you think I got here today? Did I ride a magic carpet, an elephant, or the bus?Can you guess if I live in a castle, a haunted house, or an igloo?Would you rather be able to fly, be invisible, or breathe underwater?If you had to eat one thing forever, would you rather eat chocolate, bread, or blueberries?If you could turn into an animal, would you rather be a dog, a horse, or a snake?For school-age kidsSchool-age kids still enjoy a bit of silliness, but they also enjoy thoughtful questions. They’re also typically able to deal with ambiguity and don’t like being boxed in. Try the questions below:If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Why?If you could prevent one animal from going extinct, which would it be? Why?If you could be President for a day, how would you change the world?Would you rather live in a house full of cute animals or live in a treehouse all by yourself?If you got to be a grown up for a day, would you rather drive a car or use a credit card?For tweens and teensThis is where you may have to get a bit creative. Tweens and teens don’t want to be treated like littles, and they definitely don’t want to be talked down to. Show them you respect their intelligence and emerging sense of awareness about the world by asking meaningful questions on topics that matter to them. (MoMo Productions / Getty)Tweens and teens often appreciate relationship questions, questions about current events, and even school-related questions if they’re asked in the right way.Try:Why do you think music is so important? What do you think life would be like without it?Do you think your school does a good job of educating kids? How could they do better?Why do you think popularity is so important to your peers? Do you think it really matters?Would you rather be a star on a sports team or get good grades? Why?If you could opt out of going to school, would you rather stay home all day or go on an adventure?Science questions for kidsHas your kiddo ever asked you why the sky is blue? Now’s your chance to turn the tables and get them thinking with some science questions.This can often lead to some fun experiments too. Try questions like:If you roll one marble from a two-foot high cardboard ramp, and another from a three-foot high ramp, and both ramps are the same length, which marble do you think will go farther?If you add water to cornstarch, what do you think will happen? (hint: it makes oobleck!)How far away is Pluto in miles? What about inches?Why does the earth rotate? How fast does it go?If you walked across the entire United States, how long would it take you?What’s the difference between a lunar and solar eclipse?Do you think it’s possible for the strongest person in the world to lift a car?Fun questions for older kidsLike I mentioned above, older kids can be trickier to get talking, especially if they’re trying to play it cool. At the same time, many grown ups are surprised at how eager young adults are to engage in thoughtful, meaningful talks about topics that really matter to them. The best way to do that is to hone in on what that is. Fun questions for kids doesn’t always mean silly questions. Sometimes, what’s most fun for them is getting to focus on what they really care about. In reality, these are the kind of questions to ask people of all ages if you really want to get to know them. For instance, my kiddo loves video games. Although I’m somewhat video game ignorant, I make a concerted effort to pick up on the jargon that would otherwise go over my head. That way, I can ask my kiddo:Do you want to play a tank or a mage today?Have you made any builds out of redstone lately? What was it?Wow, that character looks so OP! How are you going to beat it?While it’s likely that didn’t make any sense to you, learning some of the vocabulary of my child’s preferred activities opens up a whole new world to me that I wouldn’t have access to otherwise.The most important thing about that? It’s his world, and that’s somewhere I want to be.The ins and outs of conversing with your kidsWhile it can sometimes seem like an uphill battle, having meaningful, connective chats with the kids in your life can happen. With a bit of forethought, active listening, and an effort to see things from their perspective, kids will see and appreciate that you really care what they have to say. Once they know that their opinions are heard and their feelings are respected, your kiddo will likely become an open book. (Oliver Rossi / Getty)Once the floodgates of conversation are open, there are literally no limits to the ways you can connect and engage with your kids, and it all starts with a simple question.

Appalled Dad Stands Up For 8-Year-Old Given Sexist Assignment By Teacher
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Appalled Dad Stands Up For 8-Year-Old Given Sexist Assignment By Teacher

A careless English teacher perpetuated sexist stereotypes with a worksheet for her students — and Twitter wouldn't let it slight.An inherently sexist assignmentWhat started as a simple English spelling worksheet has spiraled into a viral discussion about gender roles and sexism in our society.It all started with a tweet from a surgeon in the United Kingdom, Robert Sutcliffe, who shared his eight-year-old daughter's homework, according to GOOD.The worksheet was intended to highlight words with 'ur' in them — simple enough. But if you peer down to the numbered questions there is one word that stands out.In the question, the student is tasked with finding a word that is like hospital lady, but has the letters 'ur' in it. So, the girl smartly writes surgeon. There's 'ur' in it, and as it turns out, both her mom and dad are surgeons. Simple enough.But as you can see with the teacher's correction in red, that wasn't the word they were looking for. They were looking for nurse as the answer, which suggests that nurses are more likely to be hospital ladies than surgeons.Trashed on TwitterIn the replies to the tweet, people called out the teacher from framing the question as sexist and said how outdated the worksheet was.Sexism persistsIt's clear that the teacher was following the answers of the textbook and didn't stop to think about the implicit sexism of the assignment. Yes, women can be nurses, but so can surgeons and urologists, which both would be correct answers. In 1997 this type of oversight makes sense, but not now, or even when this tweet came out in 2017. Children are impressionable from a young age and it's important to encourage them to do whatever work they choose, regardless of their gender. More uplifting stories:Appalled Mom Stands Up For 6-Year-Old Shamed By Teacher For Her Painting11-Year-Old Genius Passes Up Higher Learning And It’s A Lesson For All ParentsMom Tells Son Not To Share With Other Kids And She Makes A Powerful PointWoman Finds Missing Child Using Tik Tok Hack All Parents Need To Know

Perceptive Train Passenger Saves 26 Girls From Clutches Of Human Traffickers
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Perceptive Train Passenger Saves 26 Girls From Clutches Of Human Traffickers

A train passenger in India noticed 26 distressed girls in a traincar and his quick thinking may have saved their lives.He quickly alerted authoritiesAdarsh Shrivastava was traveling on one of India's famous trains when he saw something strange. In his cabin, there was a large group of young girls — and they all looked visibly distressed.So Shrivatava did the right thing: he alerted authorities of the suspicious group via Twitter.The ministry took action thanks to the tipLess than a month before this, India's Ministry of Railways launched an awareness campaign about child trafficking because 9,000 Indian children were victims of trafficking in 2016, according to the Ministry of Women and Child Development per Global News. To put trafficking to a halt, the ministry encouraged citizens to alert authorities if they see anything suspicious.So that's exactly what Shrivastava did as he tweeted about the girls and the Ministry quickly responded right away.Railway police in plain clothes arrived on Shrivatava's train car within a few stops and rounded up the girls. Two men were arrested for the abduction, according to the Press Trust of India.The girls were all aged between 10 and 14 and struggled to provide details about their names or families. They were transferred to state child welfare where authorities tried to locate the children's families.Praised for his heroismOn Twitter, Shrivatava was frequently called a hero.But despite the praise, Shrivatava only gave this response:“Thanks, but as a sitizen [sic] of India it’s our responsibility to help people.”Adarsh ShrivastavaWhat it takes to be a heroAs this story shows, it doesn't take much to be a hero. All you need to do is be aware of what's going on around and be quick to act.4 Years Ago, He Was Homeless–Today, He Bought His First HouseCashier Trusts Her Instincts And Rescues Woman From Kidnappers Who Assaulted HerDomestic Abuse Survivor Marries The First Responder Who Saved Her LifeHeroes of the Week: Eagle-Eyed Hawaiian Airlines Flight Attendants Save 3 Girls From Human Trafficking

Devoted Husband Surprises Stepdaughter By Proving He Is Here To Stay
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Devoted Husband Surprises Stepdaughter By Proving He Is Here To Stay

The title of stepdad wasn't good enough for little Camryn. She wanted her mom's husband's last name.He one big wishMike and Sarah Rousell just got married in March 2021, but they'd been together for five years. But Mike and Sarah didn't come into the relationship on their own. They both had their own two children from previous relationships. Still, the whole family meshed and became one big unit. However, having Mike as a stepdad wasn't enough for Sarah's daughter Camryn. She wanted Mike's last name. Stepdad surprises her at schoolYears later, an ABC video showed Mike surprising Camryn at school with a colourful sign that read:"I gave you my heart five years ago, and now I give you my last name."Mike RousellSarah then pops out and shows a sign that says: "It's official! Camryn Rousell."She got her wishWith her mouth agape and about to cry, Camryn speedwalks towards Mike who picks her up for a giant hug. Then Mike starts crying, and as does Sarah when she gets her chance to pick up Camryn."Our adoption, for me, was me fulfilling that promise to Camryn that I was always going to love her...and just to let her know I wasn't here by accident," Mike told ABC."He has always been that type of person to always be there for me and encouraged me," Camryn said. "He has been there for five years, but it's felt like he's been there my whole life."One big happy familyWhen a partner gets married to someone that's not your biological parent, things can get dicey. Other times, it's meant to be. In this situation, it looks like the Rousells couldn't be happier, especially Camryn, and if a big happy family isn't uplifting I don't know what is. More uplifting stories:Single Man Adopts 5 Special Needs Kids To Offer Them The Care They DeserveDad Kicks Out Teen Son For Being Gay, Wife Instantly Breaks Up With Him12 Warning Signs You’re Currently Being Manipulated by a NarcissistDoctors Weren’t Sure 1-Pound Baby Would Survive – So They Did The Unimaginable And It Worked

Quick-Thinking Girl Trusts Her Gut And Uses Slime To Escape Dangerous Predator
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Quick-Thinking Girl Trusts Her Gut And Uses Slime To Escape Dangerous Predator

It seems TV shows with guns and crime aren't always bad for kids. Case in point: an 11-year-old girl who helped police catch her alleged abductor using a trick she'd learned from Law & Order SVU.A shocking abduction attemptWhile an 11-year-old girl in Florida was waiting for the bus, she was mixing blue paint with homemade slime, as kids do. Then all of a sudden, a white SUV pulled up and a man sprinted towards her in a shocking attempt to kidnap the girl, who was identified as Alyssa.Alyssa tried to run away, but the man, who was holding a knife, caught up to her and started dragging her to the car — but she resisted. Alyssa tossed some of the slime on his arm, so he ran back to the car and drove away.Alyssa said she knew to mark the guy with the slime and defend herself by watching Law & Order: SVU with her mom."I knew that that might be better evidence if the cops do find him," she told Today.She did the right thingFootage of the attack was captured on a police security camera and the alleged abductor, Jared Paul Stanga, 30, was charged with attempted kidnapping of a child under 13 and aggravated assault and battery."The victim at the time of the attempted abduction was playing with blue slime," Escambia County Sheriff Chip Simmons said at a news conference. "The suspect, when we caught him, had blue slime all over his own arms.""I'm not so sure if she actually comprehends what could have happened. She fought like a trooper."Sheriff Chip SimmonsProps from the actor who plays Olivia BensonWhen the actor who plays Olivia Benson on SVU, Mariska Hargitay, got word of the girl's defiance — and the influence of the show — she posted on Instagram."Alyssa, first and most important, I am so relieved and grateful to know that you are safe. And I am so honored to be part of your incredible story," Gargitay wrote. "You are one BRAVE, Strong and Smart young woman. I think the SVU squad might have to add slime to their crimefighting gear! Take good care of yourself and each other. With all my love, your number one fan, Mariska."As for the girl, she's seeing a counsellor but her mom says she's her normal, resourceful self."I just feel proud of myself," Alyssa told Today.Preparing our kids for the worst isn't easyNo parent wants to see something happen to their child like what happened to Alyssa.As parents, we can try and train them to be safe as best as possible, but we'll never know what they pick up and if they'll do the right thing when the time comes. Thankfully, this girl managed to keep herself safe, and it wasn't thanks to a tip from her parents or teacher, but a TV show. Maybe crime shows are good for kids to watch after all? Err, I think we'll need some more evidence before making that conclusion.More uplifting news:Mom Traveling Alone With Kids Nearly Has Breakdown – Strangers Save The DayPoor Man Who Missed Job Interview To Save A Life Had Employers Lining Up To Hire HimLifeguard Fired For Saving A Life Gets Incredible Reward After Public OutrageBrooklyn Landlord Cancels Rent For Hundreds Of Tenants, Setting An Unprecedented Example For Others