Parenting is challenging. That’s why we rely on our villages to help get us through certain stages with our kids. One of the unspoken challenges about parenting, however, is the judgment we sometimes feel from others.
Well, a father in Oregon decided to speak up about it after he and his family went out to eat at a restaurant.
A Family Dinner Turns Sour
Clint Edwards, a popular writer and podcaster who runs No Idea What I’m Doing: A Daddy Blog, was out for dinner at a Red Robin with his wife and their three children when their two-year-old daughter had a meltdown.
She wanted to throw her chicken fingers, but her mother stopped her. She started screaming and crying, so Edwards, the only one who had finished his meal, picked the toddler up and carried her out. When he got to the car, he wrote about the looks he saw on other patrons’ faces.
“I carried her past the bar and everyone stared at me, most of them childless, I assumed,” he explained in a Facebook post. “No one with children would give me that straight-faced, lip-twisted look that seems to say, ‘If you can't control your kid, then don't go out,’” he continued.
“Well... no. I can't control her. Not all the time. Not yet.”
An Important Message
Edwards explained how it takes years to teach children to behave appropriately in public, including his toddler. However, taking her out in public is important so that she can learn proper behaviors. The only way to show her what’s right and wrong is to take her out and let her be a part of society.
“These lessons take patience, hard work, and real-world experiences,” he continued. “I’m sorry to those at the bar who got irritated by my child's fit, but you are part of this practice. Your parents did the same with you, and that’s how you now know how to recognize when a child does something irritating in a restaurant. It’s how you learned to look at a situation and say, ‘That parent needs to control their kids.’”
He added that he understands it can be irritating if you’re enjoying a meal or a night out and you hear a kid having a meltdown. But it’s also important to practice empathy and understanding in those situations.
“Before you get angry and judgmental, realize that what you are witnessing is not bad parenting, but rather, parents working hard to fix the situation,” Edwards wrapped. “You are looking at what it takes to turn a child into a person.”
It Really Does Take a Village
Edwards’ post resonated with people for a lot of reasons, which is why it went viral. But one of the biggest takeaways is that those people in the restaurant were part of his toddler’s learning experience.
It’s a reminder that it really does take a village to raise a human, from the parents and extended family to teachers, educators, coaches, and yes, even the people a child meets while going about his or her daily life.
So the next time you see a young child unable to control their emotions, remember that their parents really are doing the best they can.
Reserve judgment and lead with kindness. Assess the situation and see if there’s a way you could help, or at the very least, give those parents a kind smile. Because all parents have been there, and they can use all the support they can get.
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