Woman Thanks Ex-Boyfriend's Kid For Making Her Feel Loved
Jen and her brother, Todd, were just 10 and 12 years old when their father began dating Shirley Norton. It was 1986. Their love affair was short-lived, lasting only a year.
And while it may have been brief, it left an impact that stayed with Shirley until she died.
Eighteen years later, Jen received a phone call out of the blue. It was from a bank manager, informing her that Shirley had bequeathed $50,000 each to her and her brother. But in addition to the inheritance, Shirley also left behind a note.
A Random Phone Call
@intoxicatedinsights69 Absolutely gut wrenching story! Step parents truly are angels on earth. Thank you guys for all that you do. Thank you to the endlessly fascinating Jen, for sharing this story with us. Full episode is out. Link in bio
Jen recently shared her story on her podcast, Intoxicated Insights. She also posted a clip of the episode on TikTok where it has gone viral, garnering more than 2 million views, 237,000 likes, and nearly 5,000 comments.
"I get a random phone call, this is like 2004, I have two small children," she explained to her co-host Sage.
"I get this random call from this woman from Utah who's a bank manager telling me that one of my dad's ex-girlfriends has passed away and left me and my brother $50,000 each."
Jen via TikTok
Initially, she thought she was being punked. It took the bank manager more than half an hour to finally convince Jen to provide her address.
She explained to Sage that the woman the bank manager called her about was "legit" one of her father's ex-girlfriends and they had only dated for one year before he broke up with her. But throughout that year, Shirley took care of Jen, buying her clothes, decorating her room, and being "absolutely sweet" to her.
Jen remembers the day Shirley left. She begged Shirley to take her with her.
"I might have seen her like maybe one or two more times but my dad got a new girlfriend and that was that."
Until 18 years later...
When Jen received the mail from the bank manager she discovered that in addition to the cash, Shirley had also left behind a two-page letter.
Jen has held onto that letter for 20 years.
The Letter From Her Father's Ex-Girlfriend
Jen's father's ex-girlfriend bequeathed $50,000 each to her and her brother. But in addition to the inheritance, she also left behind a note.
Youtube/intoxicatedinsights
Holding back tears, Jen read Shirley's letter aloud:
"Dear Todd and Jenny, I bet you both are asking yourself, who is she?" the letter began.
"I met you and your father in 1986 when you were about 10 and 12 years old. You each made a remarkable impact on me. You were both great kids. You were friendly and made me feel welcome in your lives."
To further jog the siblings' memories, Shirley wrote that at the time Jen wanted to be an actress and own a pink Ferrari. She talked about going to SeaWorld and spending Thanksgiving at Lake Tahoe. She reminisced about Knotts Berry Farm and eating dinner together on the Queen Mary.
"Todd, when we went to Circus Circus, you won a little stuffed lion for me," she added. "I still have it."
And when Jenny went to camp? She made Shirley a wall hanging out of a pie plate. "I still have it too," Shirley wrote.
"I never had any children of my own," she added. "But for that one year you made me feel like I was part of your family."
Cue the tears.
Shirley also shared in the letter that she'd had a kidney transplant in 1992. "This gift of life gave me many extra years so I could enjoy this amazing world."
She ended the letter, writing: "I had a good life. I would like to make your life a little easier and more secure. I pray you both have wonderful lives. P.S. Jenny, please don't buy a pink Ferrari," she joked before adding, "But if you really want one, buy it."
"We don't always know the impact we make on someone's life"
@intoxicatedinsights69 Replying to @AileneTH jen says thank you!
The money came at a time when Jen needed it most. In a follow-up TikTok she explains her son had just been diagnosed with autism.
"At the time my youngest son had just got diagnosed with autism and so the money was great because I paid for a lot of therapies for him."
She also shared that the family moved "and it did make my life a lot better." (Although she never did get that pink Ferrari).
But it's the letter that is truly priceless.
"The letter was the best. I've held onto it for all these years. I read it, it's sad, and it always touches my heart."
Jen via TikTok
It's also touched the hearts of more than 2 million TikTok viewers.
"Perfect example that we don’t always know the impact we make on someone’s life. She never forgot you," one commenter wrote.
"Omg I’m sobbing 😭.. that was so so sweet," wrote another. "All the memories she still had of the kids ❤️❤️"
A third said, "As an adult child of divorce who’s Dad had many girlfriends that I loved but never got to say goodbye to, this helped to heal me. Maybe they loved me as much as I loved them."
Sometimes people aren't meant to stay in our lives. They are there for a short time and then they're gone. But just because they are no longer with us, it doesn't mean they are forgotten.
Shirley never forgot the time she spent with Jenny and Todd, even two decades later. Her generous bequest and heartfelt letter were a testament to the deep impact their brief connection had on her life.
It's also a sweet reminder that blood isn't what binds a family together. It's love, no matter how briefly we get to share it.
*Featured image contains photo by cottonbro studio
Work-life Balance is Out, It’s All About Work-Life Harmony
We’ve all heard how important it is to achieve "work-life balance." The ubiquitous piece of advice starts with the idea that we are all stressed out and over-worked -- a bunch of workaholics who need to get a life. Those who talk about work-life balance stress the need to integrate more of your personal life (aka, your life) into a busy work life.
But is this right? Why should you treat your life like a competition between the dreary work that you have to do and all the parts of your life that you actually enjoy? Work-Life balance implies that you have to weigh the different parts of your life on a scale.
Work-life Balance is Out, It's All About Work-life Harmony
By contrast, achieving work-life harmony can be a better way to become a well-rounded person. Rather than striving to achieve some false constant balance in your life, it is about arranging your life so that the different parts are in harmony. The key difference is that achieving harmony means you can focus more on work sometimes and more on your family other times. You don’t always have to try to force everything to work at once. In this article we will examine five ways to create a better work-life harmony.
Make Conscious Choices
People who achieve work-life harmony make conscious choices in their lives. They know that you have to create a map if you want to reach a destination. It is certainly true that you can’t predict everything in life, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on planning. If you want to have harmony in your life you need to first ask yourself what you want out of your life. You need to reflect carefully on both the type of work you want to do and how much time you want to spend working. Likewise, you need to reflect on what you want to do when you aren’t working.
Ask yourself about the quality and quantity of the time you spend with your family and friends. Consider other activities such as spiritual practices, hobbies, volunteer work, political involvement, entertainment, and the ordinary chores that you have to do. Conductors create harmony by getting different instruments to work together and by emphasizing different instruments at different times.
Work with Passion
It is cliché to say that if you choose a job you love, you will never work a day in your life -- but it's cliché for good reason. One of the most important ways you can achieve harmony in your life is to love what you do for a living. Admittedly, it is not always easy to find work that you love, but that doesn’t mean it's impossible. You need to begin by taking the time to analyze what you feel passionate about. What do you enjoy doing? Think about what gets your engine revving and how you can make money with it.
Research different jobs in industries that interest you. Talk to people who work in those industries. You can find a job that is a good fit for you, but you'll need to put time into figuring out what that is. You are never going to love any job all the time, but loving what you do is an important step towards achieving work-life harmony.
Prioritize Working with People You Like
Let’s face it, it isn’t likely that you are ever going to like everyone you work with. There are difficult people at pretty much every job. However, your co-workers are an important part of your everyday life. You should prioritize working with people you like. That can mean finding a way to work with you friends. It can also mean making an effort to be friendly with your co-workers and turning them into friends.
If you find yourself working in a toxic environment, think about what you can do to change that environment and better deal with toxic co-workers. Alternatively, consider finding yourself a better environment to work in. Your health, both physical and mental, is impacted by the people you work with, so prioritize working with people you like.
Articulate Your Thinking
Communication is critically important to achieving work-life harmony. One of the main difficulties people have is with saying no. It can be hard to say no when our boss or a co-worker asks us to do something. It can be hard to say no to our family and friends when they ask us to do something for them or want us to spend time with them.
We have plenty of demands on our time. That is why it is so important to communicate frequently with your boss and co-workers, as well with your family and friends. Regular communication with the people that matter to you at work and at home creates harmony in your life, even when everything isn’t going smoothly.
Create the Good to Deal with the Bad
Bad things are going to happen in your life. That's just life. You’ll get stuck in traffic. Someone you think is less deserving will get the promotion you want. Your kids will get sick and need you to stay home with them. You will have a fight with your spouse.
You can’t prevent every bit of misfortune that befalls you, but you can create good things. Stuck in traffic? Listen to a podcast, or think about going into work a bit later so you can breakfast with your family. Stuck at home with your kids who have the flu? Take that time to bond with them over pillow forts and chicken noodle soup. Creating the good means turning a cacophony of noise into a beautiful symphony.
Conclusion
Work-life balance is out. The Journal of Occupational & Environmental Medicine concluded in a 2003 study that workplace stress is an important contributing factor to the health problems of workers. The American Psychological Association has come to a similar conclusion. The idea of achieving complete balance between your personal and professional lives isn't working.
Your attention will be split in too many directions if you try to pay equal attention to everything all the time. That is why you should focus on creating work-life harmony instead. An orchestra will sometimes stress more piano or percussion, but the end result is a pleasant harmony no matter which instrument or section predominates at any one time.
Will you be like a maestro who conducts the different parts of your life to create a beautiful symphony?