Love is an emotional rollercoaster. It’s hard work to maintain a romantic relationship, and sometimes, heartbreak is unavoidable. It is not surprising that you stop believing in love when you go through a difficult breakup. The emotional distress you experience can lead you to blame yourself, struggle with feelings of self-worth, or even shut yourself off completely from love.
But this is not the solution. The breakup might be very painful, but only when you open your heart again will you be able to love and be loved. Here are a few tips to help you rise in love again after a rough breakup.
6 Ways to Rise in Love After a Break-Up
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
— Marilyn Monroe
1. Don’t let self-doubt take over
No matter how bad your breakup was, you should never let it harm your self-esteem. Sometimes things just weren’t right, but it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person. It’s easy to feel inadequate and worthless, but you need to reclaim your self-worth and feel right about the other areas in your life. When it comes to love, it’s hard to be rational, but don’t allow the harsh words and insults to crush you. You are stronger than that! So, fight any negativity and be more compassionate towards yourself.
2. Release the past and love in the present
One bad match or messy breakup should not mean you put your walls up for every other boy or girl that comes along. You will not encounter another person who is just like your ex, so you might as well get over them and stop comparing others with him or her. Unless you release the past, you will never get close to another person. Don’t misjudge others because of one bad experience. Let go of the memories, and build a desire to find someone new. Be more open to what exists now. Give the present a chance, and you will be surprised how refreshing it can be.
3. Love again, but without expectations
When you go back out there to love after a breakup, you should avoid having any expectations. Because often, when we try to control what happens in a relationship — when you try to move at a certain pace, or to get your partner to behave the way you want — you will ultimately ruin the relationship. Instead, try to surrender yourself and let life lead the way. That way, you don’t need to worry about disappointments and will be happy with things just the way they are.
4. Surround yourself with uplifting spirits
One way to rise again in love after a tough breakup is by establishing a no-negativity zone. Remove all the negative energy around you, whether it’s people who bring you down or things that make you feel bad about yourself. Say no to unwanted obligations and unnecessary commitments or dull activities. Learn to say no to your ex if he or she tries to pull you back into the dysfunctional relationship. Be with people who support you and bring out the best in you. Engage in fun activities and bring bliss back into your life. Do what you enjoy, with people you enjoy doing them with.
5. Learn from your past relationship
Your past relationship might not have worked, but that does not mean you cannot learn anything from it. You can take tips from your experience and cultivate more love and compassion for yourself and towards others. Be kinder to others, and you will see it serves as a great self-esteem booster. Connect with others and spread love, and it will be returned to you. You will experience self-acceptance, compassion, and confidence, and it will help you grow as a person.
6. Forgive, forget, and heal
Finally, if you want to move on, you should forgive your ex and not hold on to any grudges. Your relationship might have failed, but there were good times too. Don’t cling to the pain and heartache it caused you both. Let it go. It is the right thing to do, and it will help you forget the pain and regret. You can now focus on the future. Doing good things for yourself will let you heal faster and keep you in a happy space.
It’s easy to dwell in negativity and complain after a breakup, but when you use that time to reflect on your positive qualities, it is more likely that you will attract the right person in future relationships. Celebrate being single for a while to appreciate life and focus on what you are grateful for. You will surely find the right person next time around.