*Featured image contains photo by Studio Negarin
Weddings can be a really stressful time, with plenty of attention going to the smallest of details in order to make the day magical and memorable for everyone involved.
As that pressure begins to mount, protecting your mental health is essential. Even if it means eliminating toxic people from your life, as one woman in Nova Scotia did this past summer.
Why One Bride Was at Her Breaking Point
In August 2022, Felicity Rae was only weeks away from getting married when she and her mother got into a disagreement on Facetime. Rae had been posting all about her wedding on TikTok, from wedding band updates to budgeting tips. So she shared a video explaining how she disinvited her mom, too.
“I told her that I’m stressed out,” Rae explained in a TikTok video. “She knew that I had been feeling kind of overwhelmed and just under pressure. At one point, she even said that this isn’t normal and that I should get help — instead of being like, ‘How can I help?’”
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According to Rae, her breaking point came when her mother accused her of being a “f---ing snob.” Although the bride-to-be didn’t reveal what specifically led to that comment, the comment certainly led to Rae uninviting her mom.
“Immediately, I said, ‘You’re uninvited to the wedding,’ and she said, ‘That’s fine.’ And then I blocked her on social media,” she continued.
“I uninvited my own mom from my wedding … after months and months of planning,” Rae said. “I just felt not appreciated, not supported, and I just felt this heavy anxiety and overwhelming feeling that she was just going to make my life and day a living hell.”
How One Woman Maintained Her Boundaries
As it turns out, Rae wasn’t alone. Shortly after posting her video, it went viral, and many people flooded her inbox with messages and similar stories. Some people wondered whether Rae and her mom should try and make up, but Rae was firm about protecting her mental health.
“She has gone to one of my bridesmaids and put her against me. She’s probably said awful things about me to other people because she’s probably embarrassed that she’s been uninvited to her own daughter’s wedding,” Rae also explained.
“I just don’t want to sacrifice my mental health and be in a bad mood and project that onto my husband on our wedding day,” she continued. “It’s not fair to me, it’s not fair to him, it’s not fair to anyone else attending that’s not acting the way that my mom might be acting. Her behavior is very unpredictable, and I don’t know what she’s going to do next.”
While Rae uninviting her mother to her wedding may seem drastic to some, it was what this bride needed to do to protect her own mental health.
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“It’s tough, but I felt like I had to put that out there,” she added in a follow-up video. “What you see in a two-minute TikTok is just a glimpse, a glimmer into somebody’s life.”
Rae also revealed an important point one of her followers shared: “If you have a standard on how your friends treat you and talk to you, that standard should be the same for your family, if not higher,” she said. “Families always have quarrels, but they don’t get a free pass.”
How a Bride Proved the Importance of Focusing on Yourself
Protecting our mental health can be challenging, especially when it comes to family. But Rae is a reminder that sometimes you need to eliminate toxic people from your life for a period of time to focus on you and your headspace. That doesn’t mean you need to feel guilty about it; as this story proves, it also doesn’t mean you’re alone.
Rae made it clear she only blocked her mother from social media, and she kept the lines of communication open so that if her mom wanted to reach out and make amends, she could.
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Likewise, if you need a break from someone but want to keep the door open, it is possible. Whether you skip family get-togethers this holiday season to focus on you, disinvite someone from an event you’re hosting, or straight up tell a loved one that you need a break, that’s okay.
Boundaries are important and true friends and family members who love you will always appreciate and honor that.
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