Domestic violence is a dark secret that is far more common than we think, and it doesn’t always look the way we would expect it to.

A young man took to Reddit recently to describe his recent breakup, opening a conversation that is rarely had in the mainstream media.

Voxxanne’s Relationship Moved Quickly


An anonymous Reddit user called Voxxanne recently shared a story about his love life that surprised readers and started a valuable conversation about domestic violence. The man explained that he had started dating someone new only three weeks prior, but things had moved quickly.

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His new girlfriend already wanted to introduce him to her parents, so he went over to her house for a family dinner. What he saw there made him uncomfortable. 

An Uncomfortable Family Dinner and a Solemn Warning

The man recounted how the family seemed to be having fun and dynamic conversations at the dinner table, but something was a little off. The girlfriend’s mother was very loud and animated, with a “booming voice and laugh that could shake the entire house.”

On the flip side, he noticed that his girlfriend’s father was almost invisible at the table, as quiet and still as a statue. The man seemed totally run-down and like he had given up on life. The family dynamic was bizarre, but things only got more awkward. Mother and daughter were both laughing and slapping the table, leaving very little space for anyone else to participate in the conversation.

Whenever the mother would laugh, she would hit her husband, and not in a playful way. The Reddit post explained: “But the thing that made me frown was that her mom would hit her dad whenever she would laugh. And it wasn’t a friendly hit, either. It would probably classify as a hard slap every single time. I could see her dad twitch in either pain or surprise, too.”

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The Reddit user excused himself to go get some air as he was feeling overwhelmed by the dinner. The man went to the bathroom to clear his head, and when he got out he found his girlfriend’s father waiting to approach him privately. He gave the boyfriend a warning: “Be careful. They’re the same. You’ll get hurt in more ways than one.”

The boyfriend was shocked, but something in his gut told him that the father was right. After the family dinner, he promptly broke up with his new girlfriend. As expected, the girlfriend lost it. Her violent behavior validated the Reddit poster, who had seen signs of over-the-top aggression in the past. Thanks to her own father, the poster was able to avoid what could have been a lifetime of domestic violence at the hands of his spouse. 

We Forget That Domestic Violence Works Both Ways


Domestic violence and abusers come in many shapes and sizes. Women can be abusers just as easily as men, and abuse doesn’t always look as straightforward as punching and slapping during arguments.

There are many resources for victims of domestic violence, but the most important thing to remember is that victims should never feel ashamed. Just because your situation might look different from what you see in movies or on TV, that doesn’t mean it is any less real or life threatening. 


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