Going through a divorce can be brutal—these empowering quotes can help

No matter how you look at it—or the specifics of your marriage and its end—going through a divorce is difficult. It’s a painful loss. It’s a failure. It’s an emotional rollercoaster that just about no one planned for or wants to be on. And it takes a lot of strength, perseverance, self-love, grace, and patience to get through it. Especially for women, who tend to take the brunt of caring for the children and themselves along this challenging journey.

And like a death by a thousand cuts, the pain of divorce can keep coming at you with a mind-boggling array of hurts, large and small. Sometimes, you might even wonder if this emotional turmoil will ever end, as the brutal assault of practical issues like child support, alimony, and who keeps the house and the dog just keeps coming. 

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But we’re here to tell you it will. Even better, you can come out stronger, happier, and wiser on the other side. In the meantime, draw strength from motivational quotes for women that can help you cope while going through a divorce. Here are 12 of the best divorce quotes for women to help you find strength—and motivate, inspire, and embolden you along the way.

Find strength by reading uplifting divorce quotes. Know that you’re not alone. And rather than looking at divorce as an ending or a failure, aim to see it as a powerful, exciting, brave new beginning.

“Divorce, the end of an error.” – Unknown

While divorce is undoubtedly a serious, heart-wrenching matter, try to see the humor in it—and reframe it as a logical step toward the goal of improving your life. If your marriage wasn’t happy or fulfilling, focus on the positives that the divorce will bring. It’s the solution to the problem, one that you can take pride in. It’s brave to walk away from an unsatisfying or unhealthy relationship.

The divorce is like pulling off the bandage that will finally let your wounds heal—and let you thrive.

“Half of all marriages end in divorce…” – Joan Rivers 

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“Half of all marriages end in divorce—and then there are the really unhappy ones.” – Joan Rivers 

It’s good to remember that getting divorced puts you in good company, as about half of marriages don’t last. Comedian Joan Rivers also reminds us, as she wrote in her memoir Bouncing Back, that just because the other half stays together doesn’t mean they’re happy. Sure, many long-married couples are still in love and enjoying fulfilling relationships, however, others are simply enduring. They might still be married but they might be suffering, too.

So, when you look around at all the couples around you, consider that a few—or maybe more—of them might be just as miserable as you were once. But now, you get to remake your life and find the happiness you were missing.

“Be the heroine of your life…” – Nora Ephron

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“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” – Nora Ephron

The life of a woman after marriage can be challenging but it can also be empowering. Renowned writer Nora Ephron tells us to be the star of our own stories. Center your own wants, dreams, needs, and questions, then make your life around them. Instead of focusing on what didn’t work out or what happened to you, take control of your own destiny.

Don’t wait for a partner to save you, protect you, or comfort you—you can do those things for yourself. Be your own hero because you are more than worthy and enough just as you are.

“Be determined. Be hopeful. Be empowered.” – Michelle Obama

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“Don’t be afraid. Be focused. Be determined. Be hopeful. Be empowered.” – Michelle Obama

Divorce and the reality of being alone and needing to remake your life can be scary, overwhelming, and lonely. But former First Lady Michelle Obama invites you to let go of those fears and believe in yourself.

You’re more capable, smarter, and stronger than you ever imagined. Think about the life you want to lead, then go after it. Good things will come your way.

“I don’t have time for hate or negativity in my life…” – Reese Witherspoon

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“There are things in my life that are hard to reconcile, like divorce. Sometimes it is very difficult to make sense of how it could possibly happen. Laying blame is so easy. I don’t have time for hate or negativity in my life. There’s no room for it.”- Reese Witherspoon.

Movie star Reese Witherspoon has been through heartache just like the rest of us. But instead of getting mired in self-pity, doubt, or blame, she chooses to focus her attention on positivity and love. Yes, it’s understandable to feel defeated, hurt, abandoned, or mistreated, so give yourself time and permission to process those emotions.

Then, aim to let the negativity and regret go. Make the bold decision to embrace and foster the good that’s left—or yet to come—in your life.

“A divorce is always a good thing to have…” – Edith Wharton

“A divorce is always a good thing to have: you never can tell when you may want it.” – Edith Wharton 

It might make you laugh to read writer Edith Wharton’s sentiment, in the book Custom of the Country: “A divorce is always a good thing to have: you never can tell when you may want it.” However, there is great wisdom embedded in this wry humor.

While it’s optimistic to think a marriage will last, the truth is that you never really know. So, the smart move is to know that if yours isn’t the happily ever after you’d imagined, then getting divorced can be a logical remedy. Divorce doesn’t have to be the tragedy or failure everyone assumes, instead, it can simply be the way to put an end to something that’s not working. 

“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy…” – Jennifer Weiner

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“Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love.” – Jennifer Weiner

Author Jennifer Weiner, in her novel, Fly Away Home, reminds us that you—and your happiness—matter. Don’t feel like a failure for leaving a toxic marriage, feel empowered and inspired. It takes courage and grit and immense self-love to let go of an unhappy marriage.

Embrace your own strength and be proud of expecting more from your life (and how you want to love) rather than staying in a relationship that isn’t what you want. 

“I do not believe that there were more happy marriages before divorce…” – Ann Patchett

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“I do not believe that there were more happy marriages before divorce became socially acceptable, that people tried harder, got through their rough times, and were better off. I believe that more people suffered.” – Ann Patchett

This quote from writer Ann Patchett in This is the Story of a Happy Marriage, speaks to the bravery of choosing divorce over suffering in an unhappy marriage. Instead of beating yourself up for not working hard enough to make your marriage a success, embrace the idea that you had the courage and self-love necessary to set yourself free.

“Take a deep breath and try again…” – KT Witten

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“Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again.” – KT Witten

Just because one marriage ended doesn’t mean your next relationship is doomed to suffer the same fate. You don’t only get one shot at love. So, dust yourself off and be brave enough to try again, says poet KT Witten.

“Sometimes good things fall apart…” – Marilyn Monroe

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“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

Going through a divorce can be brutal—but it’s also a journey that makes you stronger as you remake your life. Take insights from your failed romance in order to learn how to build trust In a relationship for the next time around.

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Because something better is on the horizon. Iconic actress Marilyn Monroe shares that not every relationship is meant to last—and just because it ends doesn’t mean it wasn’t good at the start. Plus, remember that calling it quits on a now-so-so romance is the only way to make room for one that’s even better.

“It feels like a weight has been lifted…” – Catt Sadler

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“Divorce is never easy. I don’t care who you are or what the circumstances are. It’s a very, very heavy feeling, and at the same time, it feels like a weight has been lifted.” – Catt Sadler

Yes, divorce can knock the wind out of you, but no one ever died of divorce. So, take a deep breath, give yourself grace, but keep your eye on the horizon. In fact, says entertainment reporter Catt Sadler, on the other side of the pain is a breath of fresh air that feels a lot like freedom.

“I used to hope that you’d bring me flowers…” – Rachel Wolchin

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“I used to hope that you’d bring me flowers. Now, I plant my own.” – Rachel Wolchin

In this quote, popular blogger Rachel Wolchin shares one powerful way to get over a breakup: Take ownership of your life and happiness. Recognize the ways your relationship was broken or codependent. Seek to notice and remake those patterns, so that in your next romance you can avoid tying your happiness to another person. Rather, go out and plant your own flowers. No more waiting for another person to “complete” you. Instead, find fulfillment and happiness within yourself—then you’ll be ready to share it with someone new.

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